


Bullet in the Dark

by madeintheharrylouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Sad Louis, Sexual Tension, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:15:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 93,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madeintheharrylouis/pseuds/madeintheharrylouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis hates college. But he hates Harry more. Well, sometimes hate can turn to love though... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> basically, louis and harry can't stand each other until they discover they need each other.  
> you'll see a lot of made in the a.m. references which is always fun.

Louis hates college more than anything. His third year, everything is the same.

All people do are their studies during the week, parties on the weekends, then repeat.

It gets boring for him. Louis likes doing different things, changing up his routine.

But being stuck with Liam, who loves the parties, he always tags along because he doesn't like spending time alone.

Summer is just ending and it was literally party after party. Louis didn't go to as many though. He wanted to try to distance himself from all that. At least just for the summer.

He spent more time visiting his family, going on small road-trips by himself.

Usually Louis loves the attention. He loves people around him. But for some reason, this summer, he just wanted some time away.

Every year the Friday before classes start up again, there's the annual party. Louis dreads this one more than usual because of all the newcomers.

Really, this will only be his second time experiencing that. But last year all he remembered is he wanted to die.

This new freshman hung onto Louis like a leech. Eventually, Louis said fuck it, and they did indeed fuck.

His name was Philip. Louis regretted it just because of how annoying he was. The rest of first semester, all he did was try to get with Louis.

But Louis doesn't like that stuff. He isn't the type to openly be gay with someone. Only at parties, because, well, everyone is drunk anyways.

Liam and Louis share a dorm.

Josh is the one who always 'throws' the parties at the frat, if that's what they want to call it.

Louis hates cliche. And that's what he feels like his whole life is.

He used to read in High School all those stupid novels. Some young person goes off to college, gets hurt, falls in love, lives happily ever after.

He feels like he's living one. Besides the love and happily ever after, of course.

The second Louis goes into their room Liam is up from his seat, basically running over to Louis.

Louis just lets out a small, yet annoyed moan as Liam pushes his body into his. He straightens his lips and pats Liam onto his back.

"God, do you know how awful it's been without seeing your precious face every time I wake up?" Liam asks pulling away from the hug only to grab Louis' cheeks in his hands.

"Mm," Louis smiles pushing Liam's hands away, "I could only guess how awful it was."

Liam gives him a small glare. "You know--"

"You hate my sarcasm, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know I could always just leave again?"

Liam rolls his eyes. He starts shaking his head laughing. "Are you going to come with me tonight? I feel like the only reason you left was because of the parties."

Louis furrows his eyebrows.

I mean, yeah it was. Only because they're so annoying. They are the same each fucking time. Like who has such a boring life to get drunk, have sex, and sleep every time they can?

Louis wants to try to live his life in college. Parties are fun every now and then, yeah, but they get old.

"I'm coming," Louis ruffs up Liam's quiff which only annoys the shit out of him, "You can't escape from me that long."

"How was home?" Liam asks trying to fix his hair.

Louis walks over to the fridge to get some water. "Alright. Mum is busy as Hell, I hate seeing her that stressed out. But sisters are good and everything, yeah." He lies. 

Liam nods. "Were they happy you came round?"

Louis pulls out a water bottle and gives him a look. "What do you think?"

Liam lets out a small laugh. "And are you going to ask me how my summer was, Louis?"

"I mean I could but I'm not going to."

Louis walks over to the couch and Liam sits down right next to him.

"My summer was amazing, Louis. Got myself a girl, I believe."

Louis looks at him. "Don't you say that all the time?"

"No I mean, like this time, it's-it's for real."

Louis raises his eyebrows. Liam continues.

"Her name is Heather. Prettiest girl I've seen. Probably the nicest too."

Louis nods. "Good for you, boy."

Liam rolls his eyes.

Nothing bothers Liam more than the fact Louis refuses to call Liam his lad or even his mate. Louis just does it really to get under his skin, and it works.

It's really just him and Liam though. Yeah there's the people they always talk to, but don't bother hanging out with people besides parties.

They'll talk it up in class, yeah. Nothing else.

That's what Louis doesn't like. Sometimes him and Liam will go out for a movie if a good one is out, they will run out and walk the streets.

During all this shit, Louis still doesn't know what he wants to do after college. Louis is bad at planning ahead, he likes to just go along with everything. Plan as things happen.

Honestly, it's the worst thing.

"You can meet her tonight, maybe. If you care," Liam hits Louis' side with his elbow.

Louis scoots away from him grabbing the remote. "I'm trying to watch the telly."

"It isn't even on."

Louis turns on the TV looking over at Liam. "It's on. Now quiet."

Liam pushes Louis' head as he stands up, Louis swatting away in the process.

Summer went by too quickly, and now this year has just started and it's going to be slow as Hell. Louis can't wait to start it all over.

...

"You look different," Liam says as Louis puts on a shirt for the damn party.

"Excuse me?" Louis remarks, making a face.

Liam shrugs. "You look healthier."

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "I don't know what you're getting at."

Liam just laughs. "It's a compliment, Lou. You just look healthier."

"We only went a few months without seeing each other, nothing has changed about me."

Liam shrugs and Louis rolls his eyes, heading in the bathroom to check his quiff one last time.

Louis doesn't know why he bothers. He's obsessed with his hair. He doesn't like it getting messed up. He's very specific on how he looks all the time.

"Come on," Liam says as he throws the bottle of hairspray at Louis.

Louis knocks it away just before it hits him, "Bastard."

They head out and Louis messes up Liam's hair quickly before running out the door.

He hears Liam groaning and he just laughs.

He doesn't care though because he knows Liam won't dare to touch his own hair. He's not the smartest, but he knows what is best for him.

Liam eventually catches up with Louis and they walk outside to head over to the fraternity. They don't live too far thankfully. 

They walk in silence which isn't awkward, Louis just doesn't feel like talking to Liam right now. And he clearly knows it. 

They arrive, walking in straight away.

Nothing's changed. Just new faces, less of the old faces.

"Hey," their friend Niall shouts from the table. He's currently standing on it, hat sideways on his head. He looks dumb.

"Oi," Louis smiles, approaching him.

He jumps down, holding out a fist.

Louis almost knocks him over because he can't stand the fact of how annoying Niall is. Yeah, he talks to him fine in classes, but at parties he just wants to give the lad a bloody nose.

Louis gives him a fist bump, Liam the same. Josh then approaches them.

Josh and Niall are probably the ones they talk to the most. The others just will join in conversations rarely.

"Louis where were you all summer?"

The question he knew people were bound to ask.

Can't anyone ever just mind their own business?

"Just went places, that's all."

"If I were to guess I'd think you'd have a secret boyfriend or something," Niall laughs.

Louis shoots him a glare.

"I don't do that."

Louis has a very short temper. He gets angry too easily. Someone could barely do, or say anything and Louis would just want to start choking them.

The beginning of his first year in college, him and Liam were excited, obviously. Who isn't?

Louis got a bad first impression going into classes though.

The first party a guy made fun of his shoes, Louis pushed him. The man clearly didn't like it, so he shoved Louis right back. The next thing he knew they were on top of each other, falling down onto a table.

Louis is small and he hates it. He always would tell himself that's why he's so angry all the time. Short temper for a short man.

He acts like a child too, which doesn't help.

"We made up stories how you ran off with your boyfriend over the summer. We didn't know who it'd be, but--"

"Shut the fuck up," Louis groans, "Just went away on my own for a bit."

"You never are alone, Lou," Niall says putting his hand on Louis' shoulder.

Louis shrugs it off. "And your point is?"

"It's weird that you did that."

Louis gets annoyed. He doesn't know why it matters so much to everyone.

Louis just mutters a whatever before going over to get himself a drink.

He grabs a red cup, turning and bumping into someone's chest.

He looks up to a man with pretty long hair, very messy. He's wearing a weird patterned buttoned up shirt, tattoos on his arm. Eyes greener than he's ever seen. Slim and clearly muscular body. There's a scar above his right eyebrow, hard to miss.

He looks past this man to see Liam waving him to get a drink for him.

Louis rolls his eyes before grabbing another cup.

The man he just bumped into looks at him, raising an eyebrow.

Louis gives him a look when he knows what he means. "Not for you."

Louis storms past the man, giving Liam his drink and drinking from his own.

Liam is already complaining about that girl. Louis doesn't give a shit.

Niall and Josh tell Louis all about the parties over the break. Louis acts like he cares, well, he tries to. But he knows it's unbelievable.

Louis turns around, looking among the people there.

There's a lot of new faces.

His eyes catch the man he bumped into.

He's smoking, talking to another man, who is extremely attractive. He's smoking as well, tattoos inked upon his body, black quiff.

It's been ages since Louis has last got with anybody.

He looks back at the curly, messy haired lad. He is attractive himself, but Louis didn't like the way he looked at him earlier.

Louis faces back to the boys, joining in the conversation.

It takes a bit for Louis to get drunk.

Once he is, he walks over to the middle of people.

A girl starts talking to him, but he tries so hard to ignore her.

He doesn't like girls.

He gets over to the drinks, grabbing another red cup.

"Hey," somebody's voice speaks behind Louis.

He turns around to see a blond haired guy. Clearly new. Louis is really annoyed already and he only has said a word.

"Not interested."

The man lets out a dark laugh. "Who said I was?"

"Tell me why you spoke to me, if otherwise?" Louis crosses his arm, cup still in hand.

The man sighs. "You got me."

"Sorry, you're not my type."

That's a lie. That man is exactly Louis' type. But Louis is not feeling it.

"You're exactly my type," the man says.

Louis huffs. "I'm flattered. Well, not really, but we can just say I am."

The man smirks. "Get me a drink."

"You can get yourself one."

Louis goes to walk off but the man grabs Louis' wrist.

His hand is large around Louis' small wrist.

"Get your paws off--"

"There you are."

Louis turns to see the man he bumped into earlier. He approaches Louis, big dimpled smile, eyes gleaming, smell of smoke filling Louis' nose.

Louis just looks at him, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, love. Where have you been hiding?"

Louis narrows his eyes. He doesn't like being messed around with.

The man looks at the grip the other man has on Louis.

"Little weak, don't you think? Grabbing him when he clearly just doesn't want to get with you? Shame. Come with me," the man says looking at Louis, nodding his head to follow him.

Louis shakily pulls his wrist away, following the man.

The man just walks more towards an open area, turning around to face Louis.

"His name is Tom. Tried to get with my mate tonight."

Louis nods. "I can handle myself."

The man raises his eyebrows. "Is that so?"

Louis huffs. "This isn't the first time."

The man nods. "Not surprised."

Louis looks at the man's features again. He is attractive, no doubt about it.

"Are you trying to hit on me now?"

The man smirks. "I would do no such thing."

Louis huffs, leaning his weight on his left leg. "First year."

"Me too."

"No. I meant, it's your first year. This isn't my first year."

The man lets out a chuckle.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "What?"

"I mean, considering how short you are, I thought it was your first."

Louis makes a face. "Fuck off."

The man's face freezes, but then lets out a small laugh. "Don't like being called short?"

"Seriously, fuck off?" Louis starts getting annoyed.

Nothing, and he means, nothing bugs him more than being called short.

Louis goes to pass the man but he quickly gets in front of him. "Don't be so insulted. It's kind of cute."

There it is. Nothing is worst than the words short and cute put together.

"Stop."

The man starts laughing again. "Did I do something?"

"I don't like being called short. Or cute. I know I'm short, thanks for pointing that out, Einstein! I never would have guessed!"

"But you are short and cute."

Louis stares at the man.

"Your hair is too long. And greasy."

The man's smirk fades almost immediately.

He gets angry, which really makes Louis want to laugh. He only insulted his hair.

"You're a real prick, aren't you?"

"Can be."

The man huffs, glaring Louis up and down.

"You don't want to get on my bad side."

Louis laughs. "Wow. I'm terrified. My hand is already moving to grab my phone to call the cops."

The man clenches his jaw and Louis smiles amusingly. "You, love, don't want to be on my bad side." Louis continues giving a small smirk.

Louis goes to walk away and the man grabs Louis' wrist, pulling him into him. Louis basically gasps at the sudden touch as they bump into each other.

"Fuck me."

Louis gives the man a look like he's crazy.

"Excuse me?" Louis pulls his wrist away harshly.

The man lets go, staring down at Louis.

He shrugs. "I mean what I said. Fuck me."

Louis huffs. "Why would I do that?"

The man shrugs. "I'm bored. And horny."

Louis stares at him. "What's the name of this bored and horny man?"

He starts smirking, dimples appearing at the sides of both cheeks.

"Harry Styles."

Louis nods. "Good to know."

"What's the name of this cute and short man?" Harry asks stepping closer, clearly amused.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Louis."

"Louis..."

"Tomlinson."

He nods. "What do you say Louis?"

Louis tilts his head. "Why me?"

"You clearly read good sex. Short which should mean powerful. Your temper probably tops it all."

Louis nods. "Tops."

Harry narrows his eyes. "So?"

"No."

"Come on?"

"No."

"You're annoying."

"I don't care."

Harry rolls his eyes. "How about--"

"You fuck off?"

Harry glares at Louis and doesn't say anything.

Louis looks Harry up and down. "You're not my type anyways."

Which this time, was most likely true.

"Are you always such a dick?"

"Yes."

Harry grits his teeth. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "Whatever. It was a dare anyways, to see if I could get my cock up your arse."

"What'd you just say?" Louis ask bewildered.

Harry opens his eyes. "You heard me."

Louis shoves Harry. He doesn't even realize he shoved him so hard until Harry stumbles on his own feet, falling on the ground. He makes a face, clearly in pain.

Louis laughs. There is no way his shove was that hard. Harry is obviously just a fucking ditz.

Harry pushes himself up, cheeks red but it doesn't stop him as he goes to do something to Louis. Louis backs up a little, because Harry is clearly stronger than him. Thankfully, thankfully, the guy that was with Harry before stops him. Harry's face is furious as he glares at Louis. 

"Mate, relax."

Louis stares at Harry not knowing what to do. He especially doesn't know what to do when Harry starts smirking.

"It's a shame that that nice arse of yours is already on my bad side." Harry says just before walking away.

What the fuck?


	2. II

Louis stares at Harry as he walks away. 

His friend just looks at him and shrugs before walking away himself. 

Maybe he needs to stop acting like such a child?

Louis just huffs to himself before heading over to Niall who is alone. 

He has his eyes closed, elbows resting on a table. 

Louis hits his stomach and Niall acts like it's the hardest hit in the world. 

"Louis--"

"Do you know anything about that kid?" Louis asks motioning towards Harry. 

Niall looks around. "The long hair?"

Louis nods. 

"He's new." 

Louis huffs. "I clearly know that." 

Niall shrugs. "He smokes a lot. He was around a lot of guys from what I've seen."

Louis nods. Is he just trying to get with anyone? 

"He's annoying." 

Niall laughs. "Really? Like, me annoying, or worst?"

Louis has to laugh at that. "Maybe you annoying." 

"Liam's girl came. He's happy as Hell, you should see the lad. He went outside with her." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "He left me?" 

Niall shrugs. "I believe so." 

"Whatever. I'm going home." 

"But--"

"I have no reason to stay here anymore. I'm annoyed, like always." 

"Fine. Go home and pout. But first let me kiss that pretty arse of yours." 

"Fuck off, Niall." 

He hears Niall laugh before Louis walks himself out.

He thinks back to Harry. 

Who does he think he is? Telling Louis he was just dared to fuck him. 

Jesus Christ, Louis wants to hit something. 

Louis doesn't like being taken advantage of. Even though Louis does it to other people. 

He's hypocritical. He doesn't mean to be, but he is.

Louis gets home, pulling off this ugly shirt he put on for no reason. 

Louis looks in the mirror. 

Liam's right. He does look healthier. 

He just lost a little weight. Not a lot, but a good amount. 

There's still some tummy there, but whatever. 

That's what he gets for barely eating back home. 

Louis sighs before crawling himself into the bed. 

He groans thinking about starting classes on Monday. 

And he can't get the image of a scowling Harry out of his head.

...

Louis wakes up with Liam's head basically nudging into his stomach.

Liam only sleeps with Louis when something happened, or if he was too drunk. Louis doesn't always mind.

Louis pushes himself up, getting dressed and walking into the kitchen. He grabs himself his mug, getting some tea to pour in it.

Louis likes drinking his tea on the steps outside to the building. He likes watching people walk in or out, or past, watching cars pass as well.

He has sweats on and a sweatshirt. He trudges down the steps and sits down with a loud sigh.

He closes his eyes hugging the mug to his chest.

He wants to head out with Liam somewhere tonight. He doesn't want to be stuck in that damn room all day.

Liam is by far probably the nicest roommate someone could have.

He gets mad, yeah. But only when he really should. Like when Louis broke the telly, or when Louis ripped Liam's favorite shirt.

Liam and Louis have been friends since beginning of High School, playing football together.

It's a nice bond they have between each other. Louis doesn't know if he'd ever last without him.

He hates admitting it. But he needs Liam. 

It's not much later when Liam is sitting down next to him in just his boxers. His hair is an absolute mess. 

He runs his hand down his face before sighing loudly. 

"Rough night?" 

"You could say that." 

"What happened?" 

"Drank too much. Was with Heather. I don't know," Liam laughs a little to himself.

"Well, good for you. My night was shit." 

"How come?" Liam looks at him. 

"Some dick ruined it for me." 

"Please don't say--"

"I just shoved him." 

Liam chuckles. "You need to stop acting like a child. You always push people when they annoy you. Not like it hasn't happened before, but one day they will beat the absolute shit out of you."

"He was going to. I was actually scared too. But his mate stopped him, thankfully. I was fucked." 

Liam laughs loudly and Louis joins him. 

"You probably deserved to be beat the shit out of. But you got lucky."

Louis huffs because it's not technically true. 

"Let's go somewhere tonight, 'ight?" 

"Now what would we do?" 

"I don't care, Liam. Anything. Just not a fucking party, Jesus."

Liam chuckles to himself, shaking his head. "Louis, my sweet, sweet, Louis. Sure. Anything for you, babe." 

Louis rolls his eyes, standing up. "Shut the hell up." 

He hears Liam laughing to himself as he walks back into the building and in their room. 

He puts his mug in the sink, placing his hands on the end of the counter. 

Louis sometimes wishes he could just leave London. Somehow start somewhere new. Anywhere. It doesn't matter. 

He just hates it here. 

Liam comes back in soon because Louis hears the opening and closing of the door. "How about pizza? My new friend asked us to head over to that new pizza place with him and his friends." 

Louis turns around. "Your new friend?"

"Yeah. His name is Zayn. He's new, but very brilliant. Met him through Heather during the summer." 

Louis nods. "Whatever. No party?" 

"No party. Just a pizza place." 

"I'm not paying shit." 

Liam laughs. "Fine. I'll pay for you." 

"Romantic, that's why I stick around you." 

Louis sees Liam rolling his eyes before he walks into the bedroom.

...

Louis puts on a white t-shirt, jeans and his vans. Louis wears the same concept of clothing for the most part. 

Liam is dressing nicer than he usually does, so Louis has to question it. 

"What are you dressed so nicely for?" 

"Um, yeah, Louis... she's going to be there." 

Louis wants to punch him. 

"You fucking tell me this now?" 

"I didn't want to make you upset--"

"Oh, please. I'm not upset," Louis lies, "Just utterly annoyed." 

"Sorry." 

"Whatever. We going? You're driving." 

Liam sighs and nods. 

They head out, not talking the rest of the ride. 

It takes a little to get there and Liam promises it won't be bad, and he's going to love Heather. Louis ignores him. 

Just because he's stubborn like that. 

They walk in and Liam nods towards Zayn. 

Louis' stomach drops a little because that's Harry's friend. 

He gulps as he walks over, hoping to not see Harry. 

Thankfully, there are no other familiar faces. 

"Hey," Zayn smiles at Liam widely. He glances over at Louis, and doesn't say anything. He clearly remembers him.

"This is my best mate, Louis. Louis, this is obviously Zayn." 

Louis just does his awkward closed smile he tends to do a lot.

Zayn just nods before looking back at Liam smiling. "You can sit across from us. Heather's here." 

Louis and Liam look over and Heather is sitting on the side across from everyone alone, smiling at Liam. 

Liam glides in, sitting in right next to her. 

Louis sighs as he sits down himself. It's going to be a long night. He should have said no to this. It should have just been him and Liam. 

Liam introduces Louis to Heather. She's pretty, yeah. Louis just smiles politely. 

"So, Louis, why weren't you around all summer? Just seeing your face now?" Zayn asks. 

Louis bites his bottom lip. "Family. Didn't feel like sticking around this year." 

"Why?" 

Louis wants to walk out.

"Don't know. My family needed me anyways." 

Which is somewhat true? 

Zayn nods. "Family drama. Never fun." 

Louis forces a laugh. "Have any of your own?" 

"Tons." 

"Seems hard to believe. You look like you'd be living a perfect life. Look at your hair." 

That causes Zayn to actually laugh. Maybe he isn't that bad.

"Perfect hair, shitty life." 

"Same here." 

Zayn smiles at Louis. "You're not all that bad." 

Louis glances over at Liam. He's not listening.

"Sorry about last night. I have a bad temper."

Zayn smirks. "So does Harry." 

"Where is the dick, anyways?" Louis asks drinking from a glass of water.

"Should be here any moment." 

Louis almost chokes. "'Scuse me?" 

Zayn laughs. "Yeah." 

"I don't exactly like him."

"Trust me, he doesn't like you either." 

Louis gulps a little, leaning back in his seat.

Yeah, he really shouldn't have agreed to come.

Everyone remains to talk, but Louis is too nervous now. 

Why is he so nervous? He's never nervous. 

He's about to shit himself.

Zayn looks up in a little and almost immediately knows that Harry is here.

He glances over to see Harry approaching with his arm around a girl, smiling into her ear. 

Harry reaches the table with whoever this is and once his eyes meet Louis, a scowl immediately replaces that dimpled smile. 

"What is he doing here?" He snaps. 

"Harry, sweet, relax. Friends with Liam. Roommates, actually." 

Harry stares at Louis, nothing but hatred in his eyes. 

"Whatever. I'm not sitting by him. Zayn, you can move over here." 

Louis huffs then. "Looks like you're more of a child than me."

Harry ignores him. And to his surprise, Zayn and his other friend, (Louis doesn't even know the other names) does move. 

Louis can't believe this. 

Harry just smiles as he brings the girl to that side of the table, across from Louis. 

Louis doesn't see how this is better. Harry is just forced to look at Louis now.

But actually, he doesn't.

He just stares at the girl, expressionless as she speaks. 

He nods, but he's clearly annoyed. 

Louis turns to Zayn. "You just listen to what he says?" 

Zayn shrugs. "Hard not to. You don't know Harry." 

Louis glares back at Harry. 

The girl is talking to him but now he's just on his phone, clearly not listening.

"You alright?" Liam asks, "Why'd Zayn move?" 

"Now you notice," Louis huffs and Liam flushes. 

Louis stares at Harry. He's wearing another weird patterned shirt. 

"Where do you get those ridiculous shirts?" 

Harry looks up from his phone at Louis. "Starting already?" 

He shrugs. "It was a question." 

"Where do you get your shirts? Dollar store?" 

"Maybe I do. Problem with it?" 

"These shirts are very limited. Expensive, something you probably can't ever afford. Worth more than you." 

Louis' temper starts boiling. "You don't know anything about my money."

"You're poor. It's easy to read."

Louis wants to jump across the table to choke him.

He gulps. "Whatever." 

Harry just smirks to himself before looking back at his phone. "Next time you try to insult my shirts, remember I will go not bothered. I don't give a shit what you think about what I wear."

Louis doesn't know what to say. 

But he's mad Louis made fun of him for his money. Louis can't help it. Because he actually is poor. Always has been. 

"It's a dick move to make fun of the poor," Louis mutters to himself.

"And?" 

He looks back up at Harry who is clearly amused. 

"You shower yet?" Louis spits childishly. 

But it works. 

Harry's entire face changes. "Why don't you fucking--"

"Please," Zayn snaps, "Just shut the hell up. Both of you." 

Harry's jaw tightens as he glares at Louis. This time Louis is smirking. 

"I'm smarter than you'll ever be," Harry mumbles to himself. 

Louis bursts out laughing. "What does that have to do with anything?" 

"Whatever, Louis. Just shut the hell up, I don't deal with people like you." 

"People like me?" 

"Pathetic."

Even though Louis doesn't know Harry, and it shouldn't offend him, those words cut through him hard. 

Louis stares at Harry who is just staring down at his phone. 

"'Scuse me," Louis mumbles, getting himself up to leave. 

"Louis--

"I'm leaving, see you at home, Liam." 

Louis storms out. 

Memories flood through his head faster than they ever have before. 

Being called pathetic. 

Louis is walking home. It's going to take forever, but he doesn't care. No way in hell is he staying there with Harry. 

He closes his eyes, trying to not cry. 

He just walks, holding himself as the breeze hits him. 

Instead of thinking back to that day, he just thinks about how much he fucking hates Harry Styles.


	3. III

Louis lays in bed scratching at the thoughts in his head. 

It won't leave. 

And it's all fucking Harry's fault. 

Louis should have stayed there just to beat the shit out of him. 

Well, he knows he couldn't. Harry's too built and Louis' too scrawny. 

The thought of that day won't leave his mind. He hasn't thought about it in forever. Until now. 

He groans loudly, throwing his head into his pillow. 

He hears the door opening, then soft footsteps. 

"Lou?" 

Louis ignores Liam. 

"Lou?" He asks again. 

Louis groans in annoyance. "What?" He turns around to look at him. 

Liam looks soft, genuinely concerned about Louis, like he always is. 

Liam's frown deepens. "What happened?" 

Louis rolls his eyes. "That dick I told you about. Is Zayn's friend. He...called me pathetic." 

Liam walks over, climbing into bed with Louis. He rests his chin on Louis' shoulder. 

"I'm sorry."

Liam knows what that means to Louis. Louis closes his eyes, trying not to cry. 

"I barely know the bloke. But I fucking hate him." 

"I think you would. That's rude. Why did he say that?" 

"I don't know. I'm not too nice to him either. I guess I kind of started it. But...it wasn't completely necessary to say that to me." 

"It never is. You're not pathetic, Louis. No matter how many times I have to tell you this. You mean something." 

"I'm an arse too." 

"You're just bitter sometimes, yeah. It's funny though." 

Louis huffs out a laugh. "Thanks."

"Not necessarily a bad thing." 

"How was your night?" 

"I was worried. I can't believe you walked all the way home. I knew something bad was up after I saw that."

"I was getting off with Zayn too." 

"Zayn's awesome," Liam smiles as he says this, "Harry isn't too bad either. He's just different." 

"You know him?" 

"From Zayn. We don't really talk. He's always with a different person. He's intimidating." 

Harry is sort of intimidating. Louis will admit that. 

"What's he like?" 

Liam shrugs. "Don't know. Just know people listen to whatever he says. He sure doesn't seem like it'd be his first year. He knows everyone." 

Louis narrows his eyes. "How?"

"Again, don't know." 

Louis sighs. "Tired." 

"Sleep then. I won't talk anymore."

Louis closes his eyes. 

"Liam?"

"Thought you were gon' sleep." 

"Liam?"

"What Louis?"

"Can you beat the crap out of Harry for me? You're stronger than I am. You could maybe take him." 

Liam laughs. "I'll think about it." 

Louis closes his eyes, waiting for sleep to catch him.

...

Louis wakes up the next morning. Liam is still asleep so he gets out of bed to go to Benny's. 

Benny is a friend of Liam's. He owns a little cafe. Louis goes there every Sunday morning, bringing his laptop, just to get a scone and coffee. 

Louis walks over there. Over sized hoodie on him because everything honestly is big on him. 

"Hey Louis, good summer? Missed seeing ya," Benny greets as Louis walks in. 

Louis gives him his closed smile. "It was good. Yours?" 

"Nothing different." 

Benny gives Louis his stuff. "On me today. You look very tired." 

Louis huffs. "Wow, thanks Benny."

He just laughs and goes over by his seat. He takes out his laptop, opening tumblr. 

Louis just likes looking at funny things on it. He doesn't even like the fucking app. He just has nothing else to really do. 

"Louis Tomlinson." 

Louis glares up to see Harry smiling down at him. He has his hair in a bun, a black shirt with black pants. Way different than Louis has ever seen him.

He just ignores him, looking back at his laptop. 

"Why'd you leave so early yesterday? I missed you dearly." 

Louis continues to ignore him. 

That is until Harry sits down across from him, placing his hand on the laptop and shutting it. 

Louis glares up, still not saying anything. 

"Ignoring me? Just as I thought you couldn't get any more immature." 

"Yet here you are pestering me to speak to your unworthy self." 

Harry smirks. "There's the voice I love." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Why are you talking to me anyways?" 

"Why'd you leave so early?" 

Louis closes his eyes. "It doesn't matter."

"But I'm so curious." 

Louis opens his eyes and Harry is holding his bottom lip, smirking at him. That fucking, annoying smirk. 

Harry pulls out a cigarette, lighting it and blowing the smoke towards Louis. 

"That's fucking nasty."

"No it's not." 

"Smoking kills you."

"So can alcohol." 

"When you are coughing up a lung because you have lung cancer, don't come crying to me." 

Harry's jaw tightens but he just pulls the cigarette out, blowing smoke towards Louis for another time. 

"Why did you leave?" Harry asks again.

"Just didn't want to be there." 

"How come?" 

Louis rolls his eyes, reopening his laptop, trying to ignore Harry. 

"What are you doing on your laptop?" 

Ignores.

Harry stands up suddenly, pushing back his chair harsh. Louis' eyes dart up. 

"I don't like being ignored, Louis." 

Louis then thinks how Liam said everybody listens to what Harry says. 

This should be fun. 

"People don't like a lot of things, greasy." 

"Will you fucking grow up?" 

"After you." 

Harry glares down at Louis, shaking his head. "Can't find any hoodies that fit you properly? I have extra money if you need it. Could get you a hoodie that's actually your size." 

Louis sighs, looking back at his laptop. 

"I'm talking to you." 

He continues to ignore.

"You know Liam and Zayn are getting along. They are going to want to hang out more, and Zayn and I are practically a package deal." 

Louis continues to ignore Harry. Why doesn't he just leave him alone? 

"Whatever," Harry snaps. 

He storms off. Louis looks up to watch. He approaches a different girl than yesterday. He wraps his arm around her, placing the cigarette back in his mouth before they walk out together, the girl holding their drinks. 

He doesn't understand him. And he really doesn't care. 

Louis finishes his things, putting away his laptop and walking back home. 

Liam is watching telly as he walks in. 

"Benny's?"

Louis nods. 

"We start classes tomorrow." 

Louis puts down his stuff, crawling on the couch and burying his head into Liam's lap. "Please don't say another word." 

Liam laughs, placing his hand on Louis' back. "Alright bud."

"Don't call me bud." 

"What do you say I make dinner tonight?"

Louis turns so he can look up at Liam's face. 

"Would you?" 

Liam smiles. "Of course."

"Thank fuck." 

Liam's cooking is the best thing that Louis' mouth has ever fucking had.

"You doing good?"

"I will be after I eat." 

Liam chuckles. "Glad I have that impact on you." 

"Shut up."

Louis hopes his last two years of school go by fast. Just the thought of Harry being there makes it terrifying. He hates it.

He'll just continue to ignore Harry, no matter what. 

Louis is good ignoring things that deserved to be ignored. He's done it before.

"Louis?" 

"Mm?" 

"You smell like smoke." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Harry was there. Blew smoke in me face."

"Did you--"

"I didn't fucking do anything. I ignored him. He wouldn't leave me alone." 

Liam smiles. 

"What?" 

He just smiles more. 

"What Liam?" 

"He just isn't used to that. Everyone loves Harry. Well, at least they pretend too. He's going to talk to you more than anyone now just because of how you are."

"Then how do I fucking stop it? Jesus, I don't want him to ever look at me."

Liam shrugs. "Not sure."

"Figure it out, I'll ask Zayn if I have to."

"Good idea." 

"I'm pissed." 

"I know." 

"I just want your dinner."

"It's morning." 

"I should take a nap."

"Then do that."

"I will." 

Louis closes his eyes again. He's so tired. Tired of everything. Nothing in his life ever gets better.


	4. IV

Liam made chicken-fried steak. Louis hasn't been happier. 

They ate on the couch, watching some footy, talking about whatever. 

Louis can't imagine if he were to live alone. Or didn't have a close friend like him. 

He doesn't ever admit it to Liam, but he loves him too much. 

It's morning, Louis is fixing his quiff. 

Classes today.

Louis is scared. Why is he so nervous? He doesn't like the feeling. 

Liam and Louis arrive to Campus, Liam's arm wrapped around Louis' shoulder. 

Louis carries his books close to his chest, looking like a lost boy. 

If he didn't know him, he would think it's his first year. And that he's a little geek or something. 

Louis just wants to cry. 

Liam notices, and he just rubs Louis' arm up and down. 

"You good?" He whispers in Louis' ear. 

Louis just sends him a quick closed smile, heading over to Niall. 

"Niall!" He shouts quickly. 

Niall looks up from the table smiling widely. 

"Oi, how's my best mates doing?" 

Louis sits down next to him, placing his books onto his lap. 

"'Ight." 

"I got invited to a party tonight. Y'all up to come?" Niall asks looking between Louis and Liam. 

Louis shrugs and Liam stares at Louis, like it's up to him. 

Fuck, Louis knows he has to say yes just for Liam's sake. 

"Sure. Where at?" 

Niall looks ahead, smiling widely. He stands up and Louis' eyes go over. 

Zayn, a few other guys, and Harry stand before him. 

Louis gulps. 

Harry is glaring at Louis. Like, glaring. It's almost as if he's ripping out every possible body piece of Louis in his mind.

"Mates," Niall greets too excitedly. 

Louis looks at Zayn who looks at Liam, smiling. 

Louis looks back at Harry. He's still glaring. 

He looks dumb, too. Once again, another weird patterned shirt. Are those tigers?

"Invited Liam and Louis to your party tonight, Harry. If ya don't mind." 

Harry gives Louis one last hard look before looking at Niall with the widest, dimpled smile Louis has ever seen. 

"Of course." 

Harry doesn't want Louis there. Louis won't go just for that reason. 

"Great! Louis called you annoying the other day." 

Louis smacks his hand on his face. 

Because what the fuck Niall? Does he know how to keep his mouth shut?

Harry glares back at Louis as he uncovers his face. 

Instead of continuing a dirty look, Harry just sends him a smile. Probably the most fake smile he could manage. 

"That's alright. I am quite annoying." 

Louis narrows his eyes. 

He doesn't say anything. Louis just continues sitting on the table alone, as everybody stares at him.

"Louis is something else," Liam starts and Louis snaps his neck so fast to give him a glare he's shocked his head doesn't roll off, "He's a funny lad, though."

"Quite something," Harry smirks resting his arm on Liam's shoulder.

Louis stands up. He can't take this. 

He hugs his books to his chest. "Classes start soon?" 

Zayn pulls Liam aside for a second and Liam checks to see if Louis is alright. He just nods. 

Louis goes to walk away, and to his surprise, not really, Harry walks next to him. 

"You know there is a thing called a backpack. You can put all your books in there. And carry them on your back. It's an amazing invention." 

Louis doesn't say anything.

He can feel Harry smirking to himself as he watches Louis carefully. 

"I make you nervous."

Louis stops dead in his tracks, turning around to stare at Harry. 

"You do not make me nervous." 

"You don't talk to me. You get flustered when I come around. I don't blame you," Harry shrugs leaning his weight on his right leg, "I make everyone nervous." 

"Not me. I just don't like you, or pretend to like you like everybody else," Louis snaps. 

Harry's smirk falls off his face. He stares at Louis, clearly not knowing what to respond. 

"I'm not ignoring you because I'm nervous. Don't get too caught up kissing your own arse. I wouldn't ignore you because I'm nervous, I ignore you because you're just God damn annoying." 

Harry is the one who looks flustered now. He doesn't know what to say, and Louis is happy he finally said that. 

It annoys him. He's one of those rich assholes, thinks he's better than everyone else. Louis isn't the kind of person to kiss at their feet.

What throws him off is when Harry just starts laughing. He laughs, shaking his head. 

"What's funny?"

"You think you're getting to me? Saying some things to try and upset me? Nice try, Louis." 

Louis stares at him.

"I'm not trying to upset you, I'm just saying what's true." 

"No, you're--"

"Shut up, Harry. Whatever. If that's what you believe, fine. I have classes to get to." 

Louis turns around but Harry shouts from behind. 

"See you tonight, love!" 

Louis shoots him a look over his shoulder. 

It's going to be a long day. 

...

"Louis, come on, just because you hate Harry doesn't mean you have to stay home."

"It's at his place."

"It's a huge place. You won't even see him, if you don't want to. Please come." 

"You're going to leave me for Heather, anyways."

"No I'm not."

"You say that now."

"She isn't going."

Louis looks up. "Why should I come?"

"I love you, the life of the party." 

Louis huffs. "Fine."

Liam basically claps as Louis pushes himself off his chair, heading over with Liam. 

"You're making dinner tomorrow then."

"Sure." 

Louis and Liam drive to Harry's. 

Louis is still annoyed from earlier today. Harry actually thought Louis was just lying to make Harry upset. 

Well, yeah, maybe it would have been a bonus if Harry was actually hurt by his words, but he was just saying the truth.

People like Harry don't deserve to have people always liking them. They only do it for their money, or charms. Whatever. Louis usually feels bad for those people. But they never tend to care. 

After meeting Harry, Louis doesn't care what on earth happens to him. He's a selfish dick. 

Harry's house is huge. Absolutely huge. 

He's shocked Harry lives this close to campus. 

Louis is still staring at the house as they walk towards it.

"Jesus," Louis mutters under his breath. Liam laughs. 

"It's something." 

"Sure is." 

They walk in and loud noises immediately fill Louis' head. 

Louis' eyes widen as a man runs right past them. Naked. 

"What is this?" Louis huffs and Liam looks like he just saw a ghost. 

"Liam!" Zayn greets as soon as he catches eye of him. He looks over at Louis, small smile. "Louis." 

Zayn has a cigarette in his mouth. A black and white t-shirt on. The smell on smoke fits Zayn. It doesn't bother Louis for some reason. 

Louis gives him closed smile, raising his eyebrows.

"Would you boys like a drink?" 

Louis sighs. "A lot." 

Liam shakes his head, so Zayn just leads Louis over to get him a drink. 

"How was your day?" Zayn asks handing Louis a cup.

"Could have been better. Yours?" 

"Fine," Zayn stops, looking at Louis smiling. "Keep what you're doing with Harry up." 

"Excuse me?" 

"You really push him. He hates it. It's hilarious, seeing him all worked up over someone. He's never like this." 

Louis has to laugh. "Really?"

"Yes. He complains about you like you guys are in preschool."

Louis huffs. "Yeah." 

"Harry's not that bad. Honestly. He has his problems, everyone does."

"Sure doesn't seem like it. Look at this place."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, Louis." 

"Haven't heard that one before." 

Zayn laughs. 

Speaking of the devil. 

Harry approaches them, smiling down as he grabs Zayn's cigarette from his mouth, placing a kiss onto his forehead before putting it in his own mouth. 

He glances at Louis, not saying anything before walking away. 

Zayn sighs, taking out a new cigarette for himself. 

"You're just going to let him do that?" Louis asks, annoyed for Zayn's sake. 

Zayn shrugs, lighting it. 

Louis looks back to see Harry's arm wrapped around both a girl and a guy. He brushes the cigarette lightly on the guys cheek. 

Louis is annoyed by him already. 

He gulps down his drink, getting another. 

"Does Liam talk about me?" 

Louis almost chokes as he drinks. 

"'Scuse me?"

"I just asked." 

"Well, I mean, sure. Yeah. Why?" 

He shrugs. "Wondering." 

Louis tilts his head a little as he watches Zayn. "Why?" 

Zayn looks back to look at Liam. So does Louis.

He's with Niall, just talking. Niall is clearly drunk and Liam, sober, just laughs at him. 

Louis looks back at Zayn who has the smallest smile on his lips. 

It clicks. 

"Really? Liam?" Louis asks surprised. 

Zayn snaps his head back.

He coughs a little. "I don't know what you're meaning."

"You do."

He sighs. "He's cute. I don't know."

Louis smiles. "Liam is willing to try anything." 

Zayn raises his eyebrows. 

"Not today. Do something when he's drunk."

Zayn laughs and Louis sends him a smile. 

...

Louis is drunk. And annoyed. 

He's currently hugging Niall. He doesn't know why.

Niall releases the hug, keeping his arm around Louis. 

He hasn't seen Harry all night. And he's glad, really. 

"Thank fuck classes start at noon tomorrow," Niall says. 

Louis nods, closing his eyes. "Mm." 

"Wanna do something?"

"What?" 

"Get on the table with me. I have an announcement." 

"'Ight."

So they do that. Niall jumps up and down like some idiot. He's screaming, trying to get everyone's attention. 

No one even looks at him. 

Louis starts dying laughing. "Mate, they don't even know you exist."

"Would you shut the hell up," Niall sighs annoyed, "Literally, why is no one looking?" 

"They don't care."

"It was important." 

"What was it?" 

"I think my belly button is missing."

Louis takes Niall's shirt, looking under. He pokes at Niall's belly button.

"There it is. Your belly button. You're fine. No need for belly button searching." 

Niall smiles. "Good. I was scared."

Louis realized they are still standing on the table like idiots. 

"Let's get down." 

Niall hops off, stumbling a little. 

Louis goes to get down, but his foot hits the end of the table, and he falls on the hard ground. 

It hurts a little, but Louis just lays on his back, laughing. 

He can't stop laughing. 

He hears Niall laughing too. When Niall laughs, he doesn't stop. And you have to laugh with him. 

Louis opens his eyes, immediately stopping his laugh when he sees Harry looking down at him. 

"I want you to leave."

Louis furrows his eyebrows, slowly pushing himself up.

"What?" 

"Leave." 

"Why me?" 

"I don't want you here at my party anymore." 

Louis stares at Harry, Harry stares back. 

Harry has no expression on his face, whatsoever. 

"So you just kick me out? You're the one who said I could come."

"I changed my mind. I don't want you here." 

Louis makes a face. "Listen here, pretty boy," Louis snaps, pushing his finger against Harry's chest. Harry looks down quickly at the touch before looking back up, "Just because you hate me doesn't give you the right to just kick me out. You can't invite someone and un-invite them in the during." 

"I just did." 

Louis lets out a long, annoyed sigh. He crosses his arms. "I'm not leaving."

Harry grabs Louis by the arm, dragging him across the room. 

"What the fuck," Louis snaps trying to stop his feet. His feet keep sliding as he tries to stop himself, which isn't working, "Harry, stop!" 

Harry doesn't stop. He continues dragging Louis harshly. 

Louis does what he thinks is best. He reaches his hand up, smacking Harry's hand. He doesn't move it. 

He then reaches up, grabbing Harry's long hair in his hand. 

That stops Harry. His head snaps back while Louis pulls. Louis starts dying laughing. 

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel," he pulls harder.

Harry turns a little to reach Louis' arm, harshly pulling it from his hair. Louis yelps a little.

"Don't fucking touch me." 

"Don't touch me!" Louis yells and Harry rolls his eyes.

"You gave me no choice. You're too stubborn to leave on your own." 

"Because I don't want to leave!" 

"Well I want you to. It's my house, my rules. So just get the fuck out already!" 

Harry shouts as they reach the door. He releases Louis, basically shoving him into the door. 

Louis' back hits the door as he just stares up at Harry. 

He blinks a couple times. 

Harry lets out a breath, rubbing his hands onto his ugly shirt.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, Louis Tomlinson. You may exit now."

Louis huffs. "Yeah."

Louis turns, opening the door and walking himself out. 

What the fuck just happened?


	5. V

Louis sits on the steps outside of Harry Styles' house. The place he was just kicked out of. For no apparent reason. 

Just because Harry didn't want him there anymore?

Louis is going to throw up. He had too much to drink. He can't take this. He hates Harry Styles. 

He's just going to wait for Liam. Liam still wasn't drunk the last time he saw him. He was just calmly talking to Zayn. 

Zayn actually likes Liam. Liam isn't gay. He doesn't think. Maybe he will be. Maybe he will turn gay just for Zayn. 

Zaynsexual. 

Louis chuckles at his own thoughts, running his hand over his face. 

Why didn't Niall do anything? That bastard. 

Louis is pissed. If only he was stronger, he totally would have taken Harry down. 

Louis groans, throwing his head back. Too many thoughts are jumping all over the place. 

Louis just lays himself down across on one of the steps and closes his eyes. 

The door quickly opens though, causing Louis to snap up. 

"What you doing out here? Niall said Harry dragged you along." 

He looks up to Liam who looks at Louis concerned. 

Louis shrugs. "Don't know. Harry said he didn't want me there no longer."

"What'd you do?" 

"Nothing! Jesus, I did nothing." 

Liam laughs. "He must really hate you. He's never done that. Kick someone out." 

"It was for no reason. He's so fucking annoying, Liam. I want to rip off all of his pretty hair right off his big head, along with his big mouth."

"Want to go home now?"

"Nothing I want more. Thanks again for dragging me along for nothing."

"It's not like I knew he was going to kick you out. How were you before that though?"

Louis sighs. "Fine."

"Knew it. I saw you talking to a bunch of people. Make new friends?" 

"I wouldn't call them friends, Liam. Just being the social person I am. Niall was so fucking drunk, he thought he lost his belly button." 

Liam laughs. "Did he really?"

"He tried to make it an announcement, for everyone to search for it or something. Fuck, he's so dumb."

"You're pretty drunk yourself."

"I know how to control myself, really." 

Liam pats Louis on the back as he stands up. "You sure don't, I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Shut up."

They walk to their car, Louis takes one last look at the house of Harry Styles before pulling away. 

...

Harry's chewing gum. 

And it's really fucking annoying. He chews it slow, mouth opening, literally smirking as he does so. He never isn't smirking and Louis is about to rip out his eyes so he doesn't have to see that. 

Louis glares across the campus at him. He doesn't even look Louis' way. 

Liam said he had to go say hi to Zayn, so them three are now talking. 

Niall is dying laughing next to Louis about the belly button situation. 

"No way in hell did I do that."

"Yeah."

"I'm the stupidest drunk ever."

"You're stupid no matter what." 

"Okay. Most ridiculous drunk?"

"More accurate." 

"Why'd Harry kick you out?" 

"Don't ask me."

"I tried asking Harry. He just ignored me." 

Louis looks over at Niall who is stuffing his face with a granola bar. 

"He's trying to ruin my life."

Niall laughs. "He probably is since you're such a dick to him."

"I'm not a dick. I'm just straight up." 

"Yeah, and Harry doesn't like that."

"I don't care."

"I know you don't. It's funny, you two."

"What do you mean, you two?" 

"How you get at each other's throats for no reason, really." 

"Whatever." Louis glares back over at Harry who is now laughing, burying his face in Zayn's neck. "He deserves it." 

Louis continues staring, and he takes a look at the scar on Harry's head. 

"Do you know anything about that scar on his forehead?"

"Yeah. Zayn said don't ask him about it." Niall looks at Louis. "Don't ask about it. You'll be taking a whole new level of douchyness." 

"Douchyness isn't a word." 

"Well, don't mention anything to him."

"I won't, relax. But why?"

"Something personal." 

Louis narrows his eyes. He can't think of anything. A fight? Maybe? 

Liam waves goodbye to them and walks back over to them. 

"Hey," he smiles sitting down. 

Louis hugs his books to his chest. 

"Zayn digs you." 

Louis shoots Niall a glare. "Niall, you weren't supposed to fucking tell him. Now Liam's going to be all awkward around him. Thanks."

"What?" 

They both look at each other before looking at Liam. 

"Zayn likes you." 

Louis reaches over, smacking the top of Niall's head. "You're so fucking clueless!"

Liam looks all nervous. "He does?"

"Don't be weirded out by it. It's nothing," Louis smiles at Liam. He still looks off.

"Sorry mate, can't keep my mouth shut." 

"We know," Louis snaps and Niall just laughs.

Louis walks over to his class, getting in and sitting down right away. 

He takes out his phone, putting in his headphones.

He doesn't take out his headphones for the rest of the day. 

He just doesn't feel like talking to anybody. One of those days, he guesses. 

He manages to not see Harry, which is good. 

He sees Zayn, he just offers him a friendly smile, maybe even a sorry one. Louis accepts it. 

Louis is walking back to his dorm alone, headphones still in. He gets his headphones somehow tangled up with his books, dropping them all in the process.

"Fuck," he mutters bending down to pick them up. 

He gets them all back in his hands, walking on. 

He slows down a bit as he spots Harry leaning against the wall of a building. 

He has sunglasses on, smoking. His head is leaned back, looking upwards. 

Louis takes a deep breath, walking up to him. 

"Did you not even go to classes?" 

Harry slowly lowers his head, looking Louis up and down. He takes the cigarette from his mouth. "Thought I made it clear I don't want to speak with you." 

Louis watches him. He can't see his eyes, but he can sure feel those green eyes on him. 

"Really? You don't want to speak with me?" 

Harry stares at him before putting his cigarette back into his mouth, looking up and not saying anything. 

"So now you're the one ignoring me." 

Nothing. 

And it's bothering Louis. 

Louis takes the cigarette from his mouth, throwing it onto the ground and stomping on it.

"What the fuck?" 

"It kills you anyways. Here's me being nice, Harry! I'm looking out for your own health!" 

Harry stares at him, no expression on his face. 

"You just wasted a perfectly good cigarette. For that you will buy me a whole new pack." 

Louis huffs. "In your dreams, pretty boy." 

"Would you not call me that?" 

"No."

"Alright, pipsqueak." 

Louis laughs. "Pipsqueak? Really? That's what you've come up with." 

"You're small. And have a high voice. Fits you perfectly, dear." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Why'd you kick me out yesterday?"

"Told you. Didn't want you there." 

"What happened? I didn't even do anything to you the entire night." 

"You were laughing." 

"Oh, God forbid. I was laughing on your freshly cleaned floors? My bad." 

"You were laughing loud and obnoxiously. You were disturbing my guests." 

"Please Harry, they weren't even paying attention to me."

"I was. And you were disturbing me. So I kicked you out."

"You're so annoying, you realize that?" 

"Okay." 

"Whatever," Louis snaps before storming off. 

He hears Harry chuckling a bit to himself. "I'll be waiting right here for my new pack of cigarettes." He shouts. 

"I'm not wasting my money on that, especially if it's for you!" 

Louis gets home, slamming his door shut. 

He throws his books on the couch before crawling into his bed. 

His cell phone starts ringing and he groans so loud he's pretty sure anyone can hear him. 

It's his mum.

"Hello?" 

"Yes, Louis? Have a moment?"

"Yes mum." 

"Do you have any extra money you can send off here?"

There it is. Something he knew his mum was going to call about anytime.

"Every time you ask this, the answer is going to be no. You know I'm barely holding up out here by myself." 

"Thought maybe you'd get a job by now or something."

"I'm trying."

"Not hard enough, Louis. I'm sorry sweetie, but I need your help."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Just continue working hard. Nona will watch over the kids."

"You know I hate my job, Lou. That's why you need to get one to help us out."

"You need to stop, mum. I'm not sending anymore money." 

The line ends and Louis throws his phone. 

He knows his mum is struggling, more than ever. Especially since the girls are getting older. But it's fucking annoying. 

She acts like Louis is worthless and should have a job just so he could give the money to her. She's his mum. She's supposed to be supporting the family they have left.

Louis knows he needs to get a job. But no one is going to want to hire him. He has good grades, but he's a terrible worker. He doesn't have patience to deal with people.

"I'm making dinner tonight," Liam calls as soon as he walks in, "I promised you." 

That makes Louis force a smile. "Good." 

Louis doesn't tell Liam about his family, really. He knows about things, yeah. Most important things. But he doesn't want to make it seem like he's complaining too much. He keeps a lot to himself. 

"You doing okay?" 

"Yeah. Fine. How about you after Niall's fat cock of a mouth?" 

Liam nervously chuckles. "I won't let it be awkward between Zayn and I."

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Suck his cock?"

"L-Louis! I have a girlfriend!" 

"Doesn't mean you can't dump her for Zayn. He's a hot one, mate. He likes you."

"I'm not gay." 

"Do you know for sure?"

"What? No! Wait, yes, of course I do! I mean, why wouldn't I?" 

Liam looks all flustered now which makes Louis laugh. 

"Try it out, mate." 

"Shut up." 

Liam storms off to make dinner, Louis left behind, small laugh escaping his mouth. 

He starts smelling smoke, and yet his thoughts always lead up to the man he hates.


	6. VI

The week is slow and painful. 

It's not that bad though. Harry doesn't talk to Louis or even look at him. Louis does the same. Well, he sometimes would throw glances to Harry, just to see if he was looking at him. He wasn't. 

Looks like it shouldn't be too bad. 

It's Friday and Zayn insists everyone goes to a bar. A fucking bar.

Which, Louis is actually fine with. He needs to fuck someone. Badly. Like. Really badly. 

"You sure tagging along will be alright? You know it's just the five of us?" 

"Liam, stop babying me. I'm fine. I need to get laid tonight anyways."

"You're so bad." 

"You going to try it out with Zayn?" 

Liam coughs. "No." 

"Come on, Li. Why not?" 

"I have a girlfriend." 

"She hasn't been around often."

"She's busy." 

"She's cheating." 

"Why would you even say that?"

"Don't know. Try it out." 

"No." 

"You're going to end up trying it."

"No."

Louis rolls his eyes, throwing a pillow at him. They are sitting on the couch, Louis' legs on top of Liam's lap. 

"Come on."

"Louis."

"Liam."

"Whatever. I know you're going to end up with him." 

"Say what you want." 

"I just did." 

Liam chuckles. "How did I get stuck with such a pain in the arse for my best mate?" 

"You love me."

"Sadly, I do." 

...

Louis and Liam met the rest of the boys there. Louis gets drunk off his arse straight away. He talks with Zayn and Niall, Liam shyly talking along. He notices Harry not drinking, only smoking. Louis finds himself walking over to sit next to him. 

Harry just watches Louis. 

"Why aren't you drinking?" 

"I don't drink." Harry shrugs a little, playing with the cigarette in his hand. That shocks Louis.

"I don't believe that." 

"I hate alcohol." Hates alcohol? Nobody really hates alcohol.

"Why? Everyone loves to drink." 

"Not me." Louis watches Harry. Something is up, but he doesn't know what. There has to be a reason a man his age just doesn't like to drink. 

"Is there a reason?"

Harry's jaw tightens. "I'll only drink when there is a reason to. I'm not going to get drunk for no apparent reason at all." 

Louis laughs, placing his chin on his hand. "What a good man, you are." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Yeah. Now if you'd please go back to where you were."

"Jeez, nice to see you too, pretty boy." 

Louis slides back over to sit next to Niall. 

The rest of the night is crazy. He doesn't even know where the rest of the boys went. All Louis knows is there is some weird guy hitting on him. 

"Come on man, please." 

"I'm not fucking you in the bathroom." Louis is about to kick this guy. 

"I'm great at it." 

"I'm sure you are. But I don't care."

"Can you--"

"No! Fuck off!" Louis shouts. 

He's now beyond annoyed. When Louis said he wanted to get with someone, he didn't mean this. At all. 

Louis yelps a little when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist. He looks up to Harry. 

"What the hell do you want?" Louis snaps.

Harry just pulls Louis off the chair, going to bring him out the door. 

"Harry, what are you...are you literally kicking me out again? This is a public place, you don't own it! You can't kick me out!"

Harry chuckles a little as he just takes them outside the bar. He pushes Louis against the wall, Louis winces, not knowing what to do.

"Fuck me." 

Louis glares at him, and shoves him off of him. "Are you insane?"

"I lied."

"What?"

"I didn't get dared. To fuck you. I was embarrassed you rejected me. So I just made that up." 

Louis stares at him. "You're a good liar."

"Sadly, I'm not lying, Louis. Just fuck me." Harry breathes as he walks towards Louis, placing his lips under Louis' ear, just about on his neck. 

Louis feels his body tremble at the touch of Harry's lips against his skin. He gulps, pushing him off him. 

"Harry, I--"

"Shh." Harry continues kissing Louis neck. Louis' squirms each second, worse and worse.

"W-Where?" Louis finds himself saying. 

Harry pulls back smirking. "Yours."

"Get a taxi." 

Harry pulls out his phone to get an uber.

It's awkward as hell. They stand there in silence waiting for the car. What is Louis agreeing to?

But what's not awkward is when the car finally arrives, Harry throws Louis in the backseat, crawling on top of him. 

He continues kissing Louis. Everywhere. 

They get to Louis' dorm and Louis is basically running up the steps to get inside the room. 

His body is trembling. His dick is hard as well. 

You can definitely see his bulge, but how could he not have one?

Harry kicks off his shoes as he gets in, Louis just stares at him. Louis is staring at him, realizing the man before him, Harry Styles, is about to fuck him.

Once Louis realizes, actually realizes what is happening, he stops Harry before he can reconnect his lips onto his body. 

"Wait. Why are you doing this?" 

Harry stops. "What do you mean?"

"Why me? Why do you want to fuck me? We hate each other."

"Erm, I don't know?" 

Louis sighs. "This is too weird, I'm sorry. I let my body take over my words. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm too drunk. In the morning if we did something and I remembered, I'd probably end up killing myself."

"Are you fucking serious?" 

"Did I get your hopes up?" Louis smiles. 

"Well I got yours up. And something else up, too." 

Louis rolls his eyes, trying to hide his noticeable bulge. 

"Yeah. You had your moment on me, but that's all. Sorry."

"What am I going to do, then?" 

"I don't know? Leave?" 

"I don't want to go back to the bar." Harry's almost pouting. 

"Your house?" 

"Um," he scratches at the back of his head, "No."

"Well don't stay here." 

Harry looks over at Louis, giving a little shrug. "Please?"

"Why the--"

"Just not yet. I will go back home in a little. I promise." 

Louis stares at Harry. Harry almost looks scared. Like he doesn't want to go back home for some reason. 

"What's wrong?" Louis finds himself asking. 

"Nothing's wrong," Harry snaps, "I-I just, I'm hungry."

He walks himself over to the kitchen, opening the fridge. 

"Um, we have leftovers. Liam makes a pretty damn good meal."

Harry nods. "Fine." 

"I'm going to bed." Louis says. 

"What?" 

"Like as in sleeping. On a mattress." 

"What do I do?"

"You can watch the telly. I don't care. Just don't steal anything." 

Harry huffs. "Fine. Why are you going to sleep? Don't want to keep your guest occupied?" 

"My head is killing me. I need to sleep it off." 

"Want me to keep you company as you go to sleep?" 

Louis turns around to look at Harry. "Now why would you do that?"

"I...I don't know." 

Something's different about Harry. He isn't really acting the same as he usually does.

"You're starting to scare me. Maybe you're the one who needs to sleep."

Harry chuckles a little. "Maybe." 

Louis then walks into his bedroom, closing the door. 

He takes off his clothes, leaving him just in his boxers, before climbing into bed. 

He feels a little uncomfortable, knowing Harry is here. 

His heart basically leaps out of his chest when his door is being opened. 

"What the hell--"

"Sorry, sorry," Harry whispers. Why is he whispering? "Um, do you mind if you keep the door open?" 

"Why?" Louis raises his eyebrows. 

"I just, uh, I don't know. It...It'll..."

Louis stares at him while he tries to find his words, which he never does. 

"Whatever, don't make a lot of noise." 

Harry lets out this loud sigh. He's clearly relieved.

"Thank you."

And just like that he's gone again. 

Louis, rolls onto his side closing his eyes. 

Somethings clearly up with Harry, something he hasn't been able to seen before. 

Louis will just be sure to ask about it in the morning.


	7. VII

Louis wakes up confused as hell remembering the events from last night.

What the hell is up with Harry? Something obviously happened to him. There's no way Harry would just want to fuck Louis for no apparent reason. And he wanted to stay at his room? No way.

Louis realizes Liam isn't home. He groans, getting his phone out to text him. He doesn't answer so Louis decides to go get a coffee. He puts on a beanie, leaving on shorts and a plain t-shirt before heading out.

His phone rings during his walk. He opens a text from Liam saying he'll be home soon. Louis knows what happened, and he cannot wait to bother the shit out of Liam for it.

Louis thinks back to the first time he knew he was gay. All he remembers is in middle school during football, he'd get so nervous. All of the guys changing around him. His old best friend, Cole, all he would do is talk about girls. Louis would talk about them too, but when the conversations about tits and asses came up, he just didn't feel right. Cole knew it too.

Cole made Louis go on a double date with him. Louis hated it.

 

_Louis and Cole walk home in silence. Before Louis says goodbye and goes to go inside, Cole grabs his arm._

_"It's alright, you know."_

_Louis furrows his eyebrows. "What?"_

_"If you're not into girls. I won't be mad, or judge you, I should say."_

_"W-What do you--"_

_"I see the way you act around both girls and guys, Lou. You are certainly not interested in girls. So I just want you to know I'm not leaving your side no matter what, if that's what you're afraid of."_

_Louis gives him a small, shy smile. "Well, uh, thanks?" Cole laughs._

_"And you know I'd kick any ass who would give you crap for it. We're brothers. What you go through, I go through."_

_He pats Louis on the back before walking back home. Louis stands on his porch, smiling to himself before his father opens the door, screaming at him to come inside.._

 

Louis would of course be best mates with Cole. It wasn't Cole's fault that his dad hated Louis for being gay, that he didn't want him to see Louis ever again. 

Louis sighs, walking inside of the coffee shop, quickly getting his drink before walking back home. 

If Louis had Liam growing up, he thinks life would have been a little easier. But at least he's lucky to have him now. 

Louis walks in silence, getting back to their room and opening the door to Liam cooking. 

"Oh! Louis, I was just making breakfast. I see you got coffee. It's a beautiful day to walk, that is. You should have waited for me! I could have walked with you. We could have gotten coffee together. Next time be sure to wait for me, you bastard." 

Louis stares at Liam before bursting out laughing. 

"So how was it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh, come on. You think I'm stupid, don't you?"

"I don't think you're stupid at all." 

Louis rolls his eyes, walking over to the table to sit down and drink his coffee. "But you do."

"Zayn invited us to go watch the game at B-Dubs tonight! Are you up to go?" 

"Did he invite you before or after sex?" 

Liam gasps, turning around to look at Louis. Louis just chuckles to himself.

"I see the way you are walking, Liam." 

"Shut up Louis."

"No, I will not. Do tell me about it, though. I'm ever so curious." 

"There's not much to say." 

Louis laughs. "I think there is." 

Liam turns around to smile at Louis. "Can you at least wait till pancakes are done?" 

"Anything for you, love." 

Liam rolls his eyes before turning back around.

...

Louis can't believe he let Liam drag him along again. 

Harry is with a guy. He's fucking licking his ear as he whispers in it. Louis is about to throw up. 

He sits next to Zayn, who sits next to Liam, then Niall, then Harry's guy or whatever, of course followed by Harry.

Harry is wearing a stripped shirt, it's barely buttoned. Why does he always wear those fucking shirts if they are barely on him? 

Probably to show off his chest tattoos, and the bit of his stomach tattoo peaking out. Is that a fucking butterfly?

Louis keeps ordering more and more drinks, cheering loudly and obnoxiously for the football game. 

The next commercial, Louis uses the opportunity to talk to Zayn. 

"What's wrong with Harry?"

Zayn looks at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugs. "Last night he seemed off. Who's that guy?"

Zayn chuckled. "Harry has off nights. That guy's just here to keep him company, obviously." 

Louis looks over at them and Harry is smiling at the guy, nodding amusingly. 

Louis huffs, drinking more. 

"Why is it bothering you so much?" Zayn asks. 

"What?"

"You're always concerned what Harry is up to."

"No I'm not." 

"Are you sure?" 

Louis doesn't know what to say. He doesn't give a shit about Harry, he's just curious why he is like he is. 

"I'm just nosy. Need to know everyone, even ones I hate." 

"Ah." 

Zayn clearly isn't buying it.

"Heard you fucked Liam." 

"Louis!" Liam shocks who he didn't even know was paying attention. 

Zayn laughs. "Alright, sweetheart." 

Liam gives Louis a glare who just shrugs and drinks some more. 

When the football game is over, Louis is the only one drunk. 

They all walk out together. 

"What the hell, I didn't even drink that much," Niall laughs bringing Louis close to him. 

Louis laughs. "Yeah, you bastard, now I'm the only one who looks like a dumbarse."

He hears Harry make a noise behind him so he glances over his shoulder. Harry looks pissed. 

"Why do you look so fucking pissed off all the time?" Louis snaps. 

Harry doesn't say anything, he just glares at Louis. 

"Whatever," Louis mumbles. "Liam, let's go home." 

"Actually, I was going--"

"Oh shut up, again? Jesus Christ, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Louis--"

"Wait, you didn't break up with her?" Zayn asks. 

Oops. 

"I-I was going to. I've been so busy with you. I'm not the type to dump over the phone." 

Zayn rolls his eyes. "Well, get on it."

Louis looks over at Niall who's arm is still wrapped around his waist. 

"You are a good friend, Niall."

Niall laughs. "You're drunk." 

"You're still pretty." 

Louis boops Niall's nose making him laugh harder. 

"I'll take you home, buddy. We can watch some movies till you fall asleep. Come on." 

Niall leads him to his car. Louis waves goodbye to Liam, making as many sexual references as he can, which just cause Liam to blush more than usual. 

He notices Harry walking slowly behind with his guy, not speaking to each other. He's playing with the rings on his finger. They just get in the back of the car. 

Louis wants to shout something to him, but he decides against it. 

"Why'd you drink so much?" Niall asks buckling his seat belt.

"Why didn't you?" 

"Dunno'. No reason to get as drunk as you now, is there?" 

Louis huffs. "Whatever. Come on, I want to watch Grease." 

"Why do you always want to watch that damn movie when you're drunk?" 

"It's a classic, Niall Horan. Step on it." 

"You know you're annoying? Just like that fucking movie." 

"Yet, you still stick with me and that movie." 

"Which is why I secretly hate you."

"You still secretly love me." 

"Shut up, Tomlinson." 

Louis leans his head back. 

When he first met Niall, he hated the guy. All Niall did was just try too hard to befriend Louis. Louis wasn't exactly like that. Wanted to chose his friends carefully.

But they were both loud and obnoxious. After that guy on the first party beat the shit out of Louis, Niall took him home with Liam. Louis was beyond annoyed, only wanted Liam to be there. But Niall insisted because he hates when people insult his shoes too, and that he loved Louis' shoes.

The lad kind of grew on him too quickly.

Louis is just lucky he has just as annoying friends who is willing to put up with him.

"Tommo, we're here. Open your eyes. Movie time."

Louis opens his eyes quickly, laughing a little to himself as he stumbles out of the car with Niall. 


	8. VIII

Louis and Niall passed out on the couch together. The rest of the weekend went by slow. Really, Louis and Niall hungout. They both didn't feel like going out, which was kind of nice. 

Niall does not stop talking. Louis is alright with it though, because he's like that at times too. 

They just watched movies, played video games, ordered food from wherever. Louis must admit, Niall is great company. 

It's Monday morning and Louis is dreading classes just like any other day. 

"So you and Zayn are officially a thing?" 

"Louis." 

"I'm asking, want to know." 

Liam shrugs. "I mean, I guess. It's different for me. I didn't even know I was interested in guys. I never have been before."

"Well, it's new to you. It's okay to be open to the thought of it. Who knows, maybe Zayn is the only guy you'll ever like in your life." 

"Maybe."

When Liam and him arrive, he notices Harry sitting next to Zayn. He's writing in some sort of journal. 

As Liam talks to Zayn, Louis decides to sit next to Harry. He will be just standing there alone anyways, listening to the two new lovebirds flirt it up with each other.

"Whatcha writing in there?" Louis pops as he sits down next to him.

Harry's head snaps up so fast as he snaps his journal closed, even though he clearly isn't done writing. 

"Fuck off, Louis."

Louis laughs. "What are you writing in there? All of the people you can play around with, or whatever you do?" Louis didn't mean to ask that. Half the things that come out of his big mouth aren't even fully processed before spoken.

To Louis' surprise, Harry takes his journal, smacking Louis' thigh with it, not saying a word. 

Louis laughs looking at Harry who is full on pouting. 

"Good one, Harry. Might have to get my leg checked out now, think you broke it."

"Shut up already."

"I've been meaning to talk to you though." 

Harry turns to look at Louis. 

He really does have the greenest eyes he has ever seen. If Louis didn't hate him, he would for sure tell him that.

"What about?"

"Friday." 

Harry's jaw clenches. "There's nothing to talk about."

"There kind of is. I'm so curious." Louis tries to mock Harry. 

Harry just looks at him from the corner of his eyes. "No." 

"Come on," Louis nudges him, "Didn't you say we are going to be hanging out a lot now? Zayn and Liam and all?"

"No. I'm done coming around." 

Louis raises his eyebrows. "But you and Zayn are a package deal." 

"Yeah." 

Louis is confused. He stares at Harry who just plays with the rings on his fingers once again. 

"Why do you wear all those rings?" Louis asks looking down. 

Harry stops playing with them, hiding his hands. 

"You going to make fun of me for that too?" 

Harry looks up to look at Louis, and there is something different in his eyes. Louis tries to ignore it, but he can't.

"N-No. I'm really just wondering. I like them. Always wanted rings for meself. But I'm poor, remember?" 

Harry chuckles a little, barely smiling. "Sure." 

"You're quite stylish, Styles." 

Harry actually laughs at that. "You could say that." 

"Where do you get all those shirts anyways?" 

"Why are you asking me so many questions like you all of a sudden have some interest in me?" Harry asks shaking his head before looking down to play with his rings again. 

Louis doesn't know what he is doing, honestly. He didn't even realize how chatty he has been with Harry yet.

"Don't know. I don't have anyone else to talk to, do I?" 

"Mm. I see." 

Louis watches him. Harry is always thinking and it kills Louis not to know what is going on in that big head of his. 

"So?" Louis asks trying to continue a conversation.

Harry takes out a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it and putting it in his mouth. Louis scoots away a little. 

"You still owe me a new pack." 

"Only if you give me the money to pay for it." 

"I'd never. That's the point in you getting it for me. You wasted my cigarette, so now you have to waste money to get me a new one." 

"No."

Harry blows out the smoke before putting the cigarette back in his mouth. He gathers his things, standing up.

"Classes start soon," Harry mumbles. And just like that he walks off. 

Louis watches him, shaking his head. Harry Styles sure is something.

Liam sits down in Harry's spot. 

"We were thinking going out to play football straight after school," Liam smiles patting Louis' thigh. 

"Really? I'd quite like that." Louis doesn't remember the last time he played around. Was probably spring break with Liam, Niall and him, along with a few other guys.

"Same here. Football's a great sport for bonding." 

"Are we thinking of the same sport or?" 

Zayn chuckles next to Liam a little and Liam rolls his eyes. 

"Did you break up with Heather yet?" Louis asks. 

"I'm going to after football. We have dinner." 

Louis laughs. "Buy the girl dinner, then break up with her. Oh, my sweet, sweet Liam." 

"Shut up. You know I'm bad, I don't like hurting feelings." 

"You're hurting feelings either way." 

"Alright, thanks, Louis. Really." 

"I'm teasing you." 

Liam sighs and Zayn pats him on the back. "I didn't know I had such a softie." 

Louis laughs, standing up. "He's the worst." 

Louis waves goodbye before walking off to classes. Just before he's about to walk in, he sees Harry talking to someone. 

Actually, the man is screaming at Harry. Louis pauses in his steps, watching. 

Harry looks emotionless, just nodding and even rolling his eyes as the man yells. 

The man takes the cigarette from Harry's mouth, scraping it quickly along Harry's arm. 

Louis' eyes widen a little as the man storms off. 

Harry doesn't even look in pain. He just looks at his arm before walking away. 

What the hell just happened?

...

The entire day Louis couldn't stop thinking about what he saw happen with Harry. Who was that guy? Why was he so pissed at Harry? 

Louis will find out. He doesn't care how, but he will. 

Liam and Louis walk over to the field, spotting Niall and Zayn already on it. He's surprised to see Harry there. But he isn't on the field ready to play. 

He has a different cigarette in his mouth, laying on the ground with sunglasses looking up towards the sky. 

"Wait just a moment," Louis says to Liam who isn't even paying attention to him. 

He jogs over to Harry, sitting right down next to him. 

Harry doesn't move. 

"Thought you were done coming around."

"It's a nice day. Thought I'd just lay out here." Harry speaks slow and cautiously. Why does he always have to speak so slow all the time? If he thinks that it's attractive, it sure isn't. 

"Why aren't you playing?" 

"I hate the sport." 

Louis laughs. "Seriously? You hate yourself some footy?" 

"Yeah."

"Or are you just bad at it?" 

"Yeah." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. He tries to find the burn mark on Harry's arm, but he sees nothing because his arms are crossed his waist. 

"Are you alright?" Louis finds himself asking. He didn't even mean to ask that, it sort of just came out. 

"Why are you asking me this?" Harry asks still not moving a muscle. 

"I think it would hurt if someone took a cigarette to your arm." 

Harry's body tightens before he sits up straight to face Louis, sunglasses still on. "What did you just say?" 

"I saw t-that man yelling at you earlier. And what he did. I'm just being nice here, asking if you're okay? Do you want to talk about it?" 

Harry huffs. "I don't need pity from you, Louis Tomlinson. Just go play football." 

He's back on the ground. Louis stares at him. 

"I'm not pitying you, dumbshit. I'm just simply asking if you're alright."

"I'm fine. Move along now." 

Louis shakes his head. "I'm going to get meself some cigarettes, just so next time I can place it in your long, precious hair so it sets on fire." 

He sees Harry smirking a little as Louis storms off to go play with the lads.

"What were you guys talking about?" Niall asks when Louis comes back. 

"Nothing." 

Louis looks back at Harry who looks the same as before. 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Alright, lads. What are teams?"

"Who do you think?" Niall asks laughing. 

"Alright, Niall. Don't disappoint me." 

They really just kick around the ball for an hour, two on two is just for fun.

Zayn sucks at football, actually. And it's quite funny. Liam is really good, and Zayn is obviously impressed. Niall is just Niall. Louis isn't bad himself, but he isn't the bragging type. Well, maybe he is.

Louis is playing around with the ball when he sees Harry standing up.

He smiles to himself. 

"Hey Styles!" 

Harry looks over at him and Louis kicks the ball. 

Louis meant to kick it to him, yeah. Maybe not necessarily to the dick. 

And Harry clearly does suck at football, where he can't even react. 

The ball hits him dead on in the dick, Harry's body goes back as his hands clasp it, falling to the ground. His sunglasses flew off in the process, which makes it even funnier.

Louis covers his mouth as he laughs. 

"Oh my God. I swear I didn't mean to do that." 

Zayn chuckles to himself lightly. "He can take it."

Louis jogs over to him, getting down on one knee. 

"I'm sorry lad, I really didn't mean to aim there." 

Harry doesn't say anything, he just continues holding his dick. 

Louis finds himself giggling, covering his mouth.

Harry pushes himself up, his hair is a mess. He gives Louis a glare before going to grab his sunglasses on the ground. 

"Don't ever call me lad." 

"Alright, pretty boy, my apologies." Louis stands up offering Harry a hand.

Harry doesn't take Louis' hand, he pushes himself up, brushing past Louis' shoulder hard. 

"I really didn't mean to do that, Styles, I'm sorry." Louis is still laughing to himself.

Harry doesn't find it funny, obviously. 

Louis jogs back over. "He was leaving, thought it'd be funny to just kick it over to him."

"He was never into sports. He sucks at it, clearly." 

Louis laughs, he turns watching Harry as he painfully waddles away.

 

 


	9. IX

Harry's mad at Louis. Like really mad. All he did was kick the ball at him? Jesus Christ Harry acts more immature than he does, he didn't even know that was possible.

Harry goes all week ignoring Louis. And the week after that. Louis tried to make conversation with him, but he'd just walk away. He barely comes around when all the lads hangout anyways. 

Why does Louis care so much? He doesn't. He's just annoyed Harry is mad over something so ridiculous. Right?

Liam's birthday is today. Louis and Zayn are hosting a party. At Harry's house. Harry said it's fine, just because his house is best fit for it. 

 

_"You sure I can come? Won't kick me out of a party for me best mate?"_

_Harry glared at Louis, looking back at Zayn. "Anyone's invited. I won't kick anyone out."_

_And just like that Harry walks away._

_"Oh my God," Louis laughs running his hand over his face. Zayn laughs with him._

_"Never seen Harry hate somebody as much as he hates you."_

_Louis shakes his head, watching Harry walk away, wearing some stupid boots._

 

So yeah, technically Harry is only allowing Louis come because it's for Liam. Otherwise to him Louis doesn't exist. 

Liam's birthday is on a Saturday, luckily. So Louis wakes up early, attempting to make Liam breakfast. He ends up burning the eggs. 

"Fuck," he mumbles under his breath throwing the pot into the sink, almost burning his hand. 

"Well, good morning," Liam laughs as he walks into the kitchen. 

Louis turns around. "Liam, my sweetheart!" He runs over mocking Zayn kissing his cheek, "Happy birthday to you." 

Liam rolls his eyes. "Thank you, Lou. I can see my attempted breakfast was burnt. How did you even manage to that?" 

"Well, I was looking out the window, and--"

"You're incredible." 

"I know. Why don't we just go out?" Louis asks giving his closed smile. 

Liam laughs. "Yeah. Let me get ready."

Louis nods, cleaning up the mess he made. He never could cook. 

Soon Liam is ready with a quiff, Louis just wearing his beanie. They head over to Benny's. 

"Liam! My boy, happy birthday. Everything's on us today! You want everything? Take everything!" 

Liam laughs and Louis pats his back. "I'm afraid it's his heart only that is that big, Benny. Not his tummy." 

Louis tickles Liam's tummy a little and he laughs. "We'll just have tea and some scones."

"Very well."

Benny gives them their stuff and they go outside, sitting on the ground. 

"The party's at Harry's?" Liam asks chewing his scone. 

Louis nods, groaning. "Unfortunately."

"Why is he so pissed at you? Kicking a ball at his dick? I don't see a reason to hold a grudge against that." 

"I know. I have no idea." 

Liam chuckles. "He probably just wants a reason to hate you." 

Louis sighs. "Probably." 

Louis looks at Liam who is actually smiling looking at nothing. 

"Now, birthday boy, tell me what got you smiling so widely?" 

"What?" Liam immediately stops smiling, "Me? Oh, nothing." 

"Sorry, I was talking to the other birthday boy." 

Liam rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Lou." 

"I need to get drunk." 

"You will tonight."

"No. Before. I'm not showing up sober." 

"That's not a good idea." 

"Do I care?" 

"I know you don't care, but I'm telling you Louis."

"Stop fathering me." 

Liam looks at Louis, pulling the beanie from Louis' head while standing up. 

Louis panics, grabbing the beanie back and putting it back on. Liam laughs. 

"You cunt, you don't fucking touch my beanies." 

"Then listen to me." 

"No. I'm drinking before the party."

"But it's my birthday," Liam makes a pouting face. Louis gives a dirty look. 

"No." 

"Fine. Only because you're going to your enemies house for me." 

"Shut up?" Louis pushes him a little and Liam just laughs it off. 

...

"And the birthday boy is here!" Louis shouts the second they walk. No one even pays attention really, some mumble happy birthday, Zayn runs over to them. 

"Liam, happy birthday again," Zayn kisses his cheek and Louis makes gagging noises. 

"I'll leave you two alone. Where's my Nialler?" 

Niall runs up to Louis, messing up his hair. 

"What the fuck?" Louis laughs a little as he pushes Niall away. 

"Stop with that quiff all the time. Let your hair be messy." 

"Why do I have to let my hair be messy? I like my quiff. You wear a quiff." Louis hiccups. 

"Yeah. Well, I like yours like that. Come on." 

Niall grab's Louis' wrists and drags him to an empty area.

Niall hands him a drink. Louis is about to grab it but Niall quickly pulls it away. 

"Wait, are you drunk already?" 

"Mm." 

"Bastard," Niall huffs before handing Louis his drink while he just smiles to himself.

"See that guy?" Niall points. 

The guy is cute. Short hair, about the same size as Louis, maybe a little taller. 

"Yeah?" 

"His name is Mitchell. He's sweet. He's gay too. Thought you wanted to...?" 

Louis hits Niall in the arm. "I don't pick people. They pick me and I agree or I don't." 

Niall rolls his eyes. "You're actually impossible. Don't you want a boyfriend?" 

"Niall--"

"Yeah, I know, you don't do that. But why not? Come on, I bet you wouldn't get so annoyed easily if you had one." 

"Are you running against me or something?" 

"No, I'm just saying. Jesus, mate." 

Louis looks at Mitchell. "Yeah. Maybe I could see? Not boyfriend material, but fuck worthy." 

"You're so annoying. I'm not even like you." 

"Because no girls want you, mate." 

"Shut the hell up. You're a cunt." 

Louis chuckles a little, bringing his drink to his lips. 

He looks around. He doesn't see Harry anywhere. He's about to ask Niall when he turns to his side, Niall's not there anymore. 

"What the fuck?" 

Louis looks all around, not seeing him anywhere. Not even Liam or Zayn. 

Hm. 

He looks back at Mitchell. Maybe it's time for Louis to stop being so timid. Well, not timid. But let's say... independent? Yeah. That's the word. 

But he still doesn't want a boyfriend. No way for commitment. 

He walks over to Mitchell. Thank God Louis is already drunk. 

"Hey mate, my friend Niall said you're a nice guy. I like nice guys, I'm a nice guy. Should I get you a drink?" Louis gives him his cutest closed smile. 

Mitchell looks at him, a little nervous. "Sure, I suppose." 

Louis walks him over. "So, what year?" 

"First." 

"Figures. This is my third. It's absolutely shit over here." Louis laughs to himself. 

Mitchell laughs along. "Yeah. I'm not really a party type."

"I know. Me either." 

"You smell like it."

"That's where you wrong. I just love me some alcohol."

Mitchell laughs. He's cute. Louis will admit that. 

"I don't like getting completely drunk, like you seem to be. But a drink or two doesn't hurt." 

"How much do you have to drink in order to fuck me?" Louis spits out. 

Oops? Damn it, he did it again. 

Whenever a guy hits on him, Louis has to spit it out. He hates the slow build. God damn it. Now Mitchell is probably going to throw up on him. And he's nice. 

"E-Excuse me?" 

"Agh," Louis runs his hand over his face, "I'm so sorry. I just haven't done it in a while and I shouldn't have asked like that. Your first year. I'm just a horny, short guy. Apologies."

Louis goes to walk away but Mitchell grabs him. "I never said no."

Louis raises his eyebrows, slowing down. "Really? So you are that type." 

He shrugs. "I'm nice, not innocent." 

Louis smiles at him. "So I see." 

He nods. "So?" 

Louis sighs. "Later. It's Liam's birthday, my best mate. I don't want to leave quite yet. Let me go find him, you can meet him, if you'd like. You're here after all." 

"Harry's house. Good mates with Harry. He's a good man." 

Louis huffs. "Yeah, right." 

Louis walks around, peeking over for Liam. 

"Liam! Oh, Liam, come out!" He chuckles a little when he bumps hard into someone as he turns the corner, dropping his cup on the floor. He looks up to Harry. 

"Ah, Harry! Just the man I've been wanting to see!" 

Harry furrows his eyebrows, looking back at Mitchell who is following him. 

"You know Mitchell! Mitchell and I are best of mates now, if you would like to know." 

Harry looks back at Louis. "You just got here." 

"Oh, so you're talking to me now! Praise the lords! I thought I'd never hear your voice directed to me again." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Liam won't notice if you leave just as much as I won't care to kick you out." 

Louis nods. "We're back to this? You kicking me out?" 

"Louis, you make me _sick_. Of course I want to kick you out anytime I can." 

Ouch? 

"I make you sick? What, is it my poor clothes? My ugly nose? My hair's a mess?" 

Harry chuckles a little, quickly hiding his smile. "No."

"Are you mad because I hurt your dick the other day? Not my fault you can't move away from a stupid ball." 

"No."

"Then why?" 

"You're drunk." 

"So? Everyone is?" 

Who does Harry think he is calling only Louis out for being drunk? Just because Harry doesn't drink doesn't give him a right.

"You're worst than anyone here. You were drunk before you even showed up." 

"H-How did you know that?" 

"I'm not blind, Louis." 

"I didn't even see you!" Louis is getting frustrated.

"Whatever, Louis. I don't talk to you because you don't reach my interests."

"Am I supposed to be offended by that, fucking greasy head?" 

Oh, we're back to calling him greasy head. Good one Louis. 

Harry stares down at him, giving him a cold glare. "You're just someone I most definitely wouldn't want to befriend, yet ever talk to." A smile smirk appears across his face. "Someone as _pathetic_ as you are." 

Louis' eyes widen. And now he's mad. 

Nothing can stop him. He's not scared of Harry. Someone as fucking rude as he is. He doesn't care how tall he is. He won't stand up to this. 

Louis throws his arm up, punching Harry's jaw as hard as he possibly can. It's a reach, but he sure gets it alright as Harry's entire body turns. 

Harry grabs his jaw, going to hit Louis wherever. Louis doesn't even care he just glares into Harry's eyes, not flinching. 

But he doesn't reach him as somebody is grabbing onto Harry's chest, pulling him back. He sees Zayn's hair. 

He's mad now. He wanted to fight Harry. 

Louis didn't even realize he was being pulled back himself. He turns slowly to see Liam. Liam's shaking his head. 

"On my birthday?" Is all he manages out weakly. 

Louis feels his chest crack. He just turns back to Harry who is held back by Zayn, a little bit of blood dripping from his bottom lip who is glaring at him. 

Louis hesitates, looking between all of them. Even Mitchell who looks mortified. 

And he runs out of the house. He runs and doesn't stop running. 

He knows where to go. Somewhere he always goes when he's upset. Really upset. 

It's an abandoned house right by the campus. Louis likes to go sit on the roof, thinking about what just happened. The things that happened in his life that absolutely suck. Things he did wrong. 

Just like this. 

When he gets there, he kicks down all the empty beer bottles that are still up there from times ago. 

He sits down, pulling at his hair.

It's Liam's birthday for Christ sake. He didn't have to hit Harry. He should have just walked away no matter how much his words hurt him. He could have just ignored him. He could have talked it out with Liam later. 

He knows Liam won't be too mad. Just hurt at first he pulled shit like this on his own birthday. But Louis can't help it. 

Louis knows he's close to an alcoholic, God, maybe he even is one. That's what you get for growing up with one, Louis thinks. 

Louis looks up at the sky. 

"I'm sorry," he mutters to himself, shaking his head, "I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. I don't mean to be. I don't know why I'm like this. And I guess you weren't the only one to notice it." 

Louis bites his lip, holding back his tears. He picks up a beer bottle, throwing it as hard as he can to the ground.

He can't deal with Harry Styles, not anymore.


	10. X

Louis stays out here until sunrise. He just sits and thinks. 

He doesn't know why he likes to do this. Thinking about bad things only gets him worst. 

He hears footsteps and he doesn't turn around. He already knows who it is. 

"Lou?" 

Louis doesn't say anything. He just squeezes his eyes closed. 

Liam sits down next to him, taking a long, deep breath. 

"I'm not mad. I just want to know what Harry said. I'm on your side, remember? I always am." 

Louis opens his eyes. He looks at Liam. Liam stares at Louis, frown upon his face. He looks more worried than usual. Louis sighs. 

"I'm sorry I ruined your birthday." 

"You did not ruin it," Liam rolls his eyes, "I was just worried all night. Harry went upstairs, locking himself in his room the entire night."

Louis furrows his eyebrows. Why did Harry do that? Wait, no. He doesn't give a shit what he does. 

"He called me pathetic again," Louis shrugs, "Like he knew what to say to make me upset. Really upset." 

Liam sighs. "I'm sorry Louis. You have to remember Harry is like that, willing to say anything to get to you, because you get to him." 

"I was just drunk, and I wasn't scared. I wasn't even scared when he went to come after me." 

Liam laughs. "Zayn and I got down just in time. I knew you were about to hit, I told Zayn and he said Harry won't take it. So he started to walk over the second you hit. But hey. It was a pretty damn good swing, Lou."

Louis chuckles a little, playing with his shoelace. "I guess."

"It was, no doubt about it." 

"I was talking to someone. Was gon' fuck him." 

Liam huffs. "Louis--"

"Sorry I'm too straightforward. Um, he's nice. I mean, I wouldn't date him. But he would be a nice friend...I think? I don't know." 

"What's his name?"

"Mitchell."

"Think I've seen him around. He's quiet." 

"Yeah. Maybe I need quiet. God damn it, Liam. Why did I have to do that?" 

"What made Harry even say that anyways?" 

Louis takes a deep breath. "He was just saying how drunk I always am. I dunno."

Liam doesn't say anything. It's quiet for a little and Louis just wants to cry all over again. He doesn't want to end up like him. 

"You know," Liam starts breaking the silence, "I've never seen Harry drink. Only smoke." 

"Yeah. He told me there's no reason to get drunk every occasion." 

"It's kind of smart. Maybe you should--"

"Oh, don't you fucking start Liam." Louis stands to his feet and Liam looks up at him, surprised even. 

"I'm just--"

"I'm fine. I got it under control, you don't have to fucking baby me all the time." 

Liam stands up. "Then help me, Louis! God, just help me! Maybe Harry was right, you are drunk too much when it's not necessary." 

Louis stares at Liam. "I hate the parties." 

"Then don't go? I don't know, just, you don't have to get wasted every second you can. It's not good. You know that." Liam's voice softens up a little as he speaks and Louis just chews on his bottom lip. 

"Sorry," he mumbles. 

Liam places his hand on the bottom of Louis' back. "It's alright. I'm sorry. I just want what's best for you. You're a smart guy, start acting like it." He sends him a small smile. "Now let's go home." 

They walk back in silence, Louis hugging himself as Liam has his hand gently on his back still, just to show he's there.

...

Louis doesn't talk to anyone. He walks straight to class, straight home. Liam let's him go do that since he knows he's still upset. Louis hasn't seen Zayn, Niall or Harry ever since Saturday. He guesses it's okay. He doesn't deserve anyone else to talk to, right? He already makes Liam deal with him enough. 

He feels bad. Why does he feel bad for hitting Harry? He shouldn't, he fucking hates the kid.

It's already Thursday and Louis is walking home alone, headphones in just like always. 

He screams, actually _screams_ , when there is a hand placed over his mouth. He elbows the person in the stomach hard, turning around breathlessly. 

Niall is holding his stomach right where Louis elbowed him.

"You fucking bastard!" 

"Jesus Lou, I was just messing," Niall straightens up taking a deep breath.

"I didn't know that, you seemed like you were fucking kidnapping me!" 

"Maybe I was. Come on. Let's go to the library." 

Louis makes a face. "The library?"

"Yeah. I need help in Philosophy. You're good at it. So, study date?" Niall winks playfully and Louis rolls his eyes.

"Niall--"

"You can't keep hiding. It's only been like four days, but still. Come on. We can go anywhere, actually. Your choice."

"Fine. I want a burger." 

Niall laughs. "Let's go then." 

They start walking in silence, Louis hugging his books to his chest. 

"What happened?" 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Do I really have to explain? I don't want to. Harry's just an arse, and I punched him. Simple as that." 

"You can't let him get to you. He's just going to say things you have to ignore." 

"Niall, you can't always ignore it, even if that's the situation. Words hurt." 

Niall shrugs. "You're strong, you always have been. The tough Tommo." 

Louis chuckles a little. "The tough Tommo," he repeats. 

"It's true. You're great, Louis. I aspire to be like you."

Louis starts to roll his eyes once again but Niall stops him quickly. 

"No! Really, Louis. I'm pretty sure you've always known that too." 

"I guess. Why though?" 

"You're spontaneous. Don't give a shit about people, but you do. You're fun, loud. Always having a proper good time, but could be serious when needed. And you're fucking hilarious." 

Louis smiles but doesn't say anything.

"You're a good person," Niall continues, "You don't always see it, but mate to mate, I'm just going to tell you that now." 

Louis glances at Niall. "You over sentimental sap. I love you." 

Niall just bursts out laughing as they walk in to get their burgers and to study.

...

"I'm home, sorry. Forgot to text. Was with Niall," Louis shouts when he gets home. He notices Liam isn't home anyways so he just sighs, plopping down on the couch turning on the telly. 

Louis wants to go to Harry and ask him why he tries so hard to upset him. Louis just messes with Harry for the most part. Says the truth. That's at least how Louis puts it. 

Harry on the other hand, just doesn't like how Louis treats him. So he says things to make sure he gets hurt. Which is bad. Louis wouldn't even do that...well, that harsh, maybe.

Louis just wants it to stop. He doesn't want to stay in all the time, but doesn't want to always worry about Harry. 

Wait, what is he thinking? 

No. Louis can't be the good person. He can't always be the fucking good person. He despises Harry. He can't fucking be nice to him. He doesn't deserve it. Too many people are like that to him already when he clearly shouldn't be treated so well. 

So no, Louis won't give in. He can't. 

Liam walks in the door and Louis smiles at him. "Where were ya?"

"Got food with Zayn. Sorry I didn't text." 

"No worries, just got back with Niall. I didn't text either." 

"Wow," Liam laughs sitting down next to him. 

"Are you guys officially out?" Louis decides to ask. 

Zayn and Liam have been together every split second since his birthday. It's crazy, really. Louis never would have seen this coming. 

"Kind of. We'll hold hands sometimes in public." Liam shrugs. 

"Aww, my Liam." Louis reaches over pinching his cheek and Liam laughs, swatting away. 

"You okay?" He asks out of nowhere.

Louis pulls back. "I'm fine."

"I worry about you more than I should, honestly." 

"Yeah you do. But I worry about you just as much, even if I don't show it." 

"Look at you, admitting you have feelings for me."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Shut it. Are you going to make dinner for me?" 

"Do I have to?" 

"It'd be quite nice."

Liam sighs. "Spaghetti. I'm too tired for anything else." 

"Fine. Love you!" 

"Yeah, yeah," Liam stands up, ruffing up Louis' hair before heading over to the kitchen.

...

"Liam, it's fine. Really." 

"I feel bad though. You know I do."

Louis grabs Liam's hands. "I know you do. But I'm fine. I don't want to come, you know that." 

"I could stay--"

"Liam, it's one party without me. I'll live. You have Liam. I'll have nothing to do anyways. Just go, or I'll drag you there myself." 

Liam sighs. "You sure?"

"Do I have to kick you out of here?" 

Liam laughs. "Alright, Lou. Love you. Don't party too hard on your own." 

"And don't party too hard with your lover, my love." 

Liam waves to Louis before walking out. 

Louis runs his hand through his hair. It's an absolute mess. He puts on a beanie, walking over to the fridge. 

He grabs some beers, looking for one of Liam's small old backpacks. He then throws them in there, heading out. 

He walks to the abandoned house, getting on the roof. 

It's a little climb, but the roof was made for people. He loves it up here. 

He walks to the end, sitting down. He slips off his backpack, getting out a beer. He starts drinking. 

He just drinks, closing his eyes. Letting the breeze hit him. 

Louis likes having small escapes. Somewhere just to go. He has a place back home too. His old tree house. Kind of lame, but such a good place. 

Liam and Louis found this place walking around campus when they first got here. Louis wanted to break in, and Liam wouldn't allow it. 

 

_"Louis, no! A-Are you insane?" Liam whispers harshly. Louis peeks in the windows._

_"It'll be fun. Like a little secret club we can have!"_

_"You are not breaking in! That's illegal!"_

_"Let's just get on the roof then."_

_Liam stares at him. "What?"_

_"Get on the roof. So technically we won't be breaking in. We'll just be on top of it. Boost me up," Louis suggests. Liam continues to stare. "Liam, oh my God, I'll do it myself."_

_Louis climbs on the railing to the porch, grabbing the first half of the roof, pulling himself up. He walks over, getting to the top half of the roof._

_"Louis!" He hears Liam shouting from below._

_Louis peeks his head over smiling. "I found my new getaway spot, Li."_

 

Louis puts down his third beer, sighing and running his hand over his face. There are so many colleges in London. So fucking many. He honestly doesn't know why Liam and him chose here. Maybe because it was in a nice area? Louis really has no--

"Fuck." 

He jumps and snaps his head back when he hears something hit the ground. He looks and sees Harry on the ground, clearly falling as he got himself up here. 

Wait, what the fuck? 

Louis wants to speak but he can't. He just stares, confused, annoyed, and angrily. 

Harry looks at Louis as he pushes himself up. He coughs into his hand, walking over. He sits down next to him. 

Louis continues staring. 

Harry's jaw is slightly bruised, barely, but there's still a mark. Louis starts smiling a little as he realized he caused it. 

"Liam told me you might be here." 

So he speaks. 

Louis continues to stare. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't _want_ to say anything. 

Harry stares straight ahead, not daring to look into Louis' eyes. What is he doing? 

"You're not pathetic." 

Louis starts laughing. That makes Harry look at him. He looks at Louis with a small frown. 

Louis is laughing and he can't stop. He covers his mouth with his hand, small giggles escaping from his lips. 

Harry looks down at Louis' hand covering his mouth, before back into his eyes. 

Harry doesn't say anything, or laugh with him. He just watches Louis who still can't stop fucking laughing. 

"You're not the only one who's called me that, Harry. Don't need to make up lies to try and fix it." 

Harry turns his body a little to face Louis more. "What?" 

Louis looks back at Harry who looks genuinely concerned. Why the fuck does he care?

"It doesn't matter," Louis shakes his head looking away, "I don't blame you for saying that to me. I would say it to me, too." 

Harry doesn't say anything, just continues staring. Louis is starting to feel uncomfortable. Harry never looks at him this long. Especially looking at him worried. 

Louis coughs. "Why did you come?" 

Harry breaks the eye contact for a second to look at the beers. "Um, I just wanted to see if you were okay." 

Louis gives him a nasty look. "What?" 

Harry's frown deepens. "And that...I'm sorry. For what I said to you." 

Louis huffs, standing up. "Liam just made you come here to apologize. You don't give a shit about me, you made that clear. Just like I don't give a shit about you," Louis spits. 

Harry stays sitting, looking up at Louis almost...hurt?

"I asked Liam where you were. I...I didn't mean it." 

Louis stares at Harry's eyes, who won't stop looking at Louis. Can he fucking stop that? He looks like a lost puppy or something.

"Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have said it."

"Louis--"

"Just stop. You can't just say something like that and take it back!" Louis is close to tears. It's basically happening all over again. 

Harry stands to his feet. "Are you okay?" 

"Stop fucking worrying! What the fuck, Harry? Why are you acting like this! You can't hate me, say those things and then come over here saying that you didn't mean it when you clearly did! Tomorrow you'll just be back picking on my poor clothes, right? Then it'll be my nose, my hair, I don't fucking know!" 

Louis is pacing and Harry is watching him calmly. 

"I... I like your hair like that." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "You can't even fucking see it! It's in a beanie, dumbshit." 

Harry chuckles a little but quickly hides it. "A beanie looks nice on you. Really." 

Louis glares. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm trying to be nice. And you're making it hard." 

"I'm drunk! You said that's why I'm pathetic, if I can recall correctly."

Harry closes his eyes. "This is impossible. You're impossible." 

"I'm...I'm impossible? Yeah, maybe I am. Just fucking leave, there is a reason I come up here. To be alone! So just go, you're making everything worse!" Louis doesn't mean to, but of course he places his hands on Harry's chest, shoving him. 

Harry looks mad at first, but his face quickly softens. 

"I'm...I'm sorry." And just like that Harry turns around, jumping down without looking back. 

Louis falls to the ground and cries.


	11. XI

Louis cries. He doesn't even realize he's sobbing. He can't stop. 

It just hit him. Everything hit him all at once. And now he cannot stop fucking crying. 

He pushes himself up, wiping his tears before grabbing Liam's backpack then climbing down. 

Louis is rushing to get back home when he sees Harry sitting down, leaned up against a tree, eyes closed. 

Louis is about to scream at him, but instead he just continues walking, not looking back. 

Seriously, who the hell does he think he is? Like, hey, let me tell Louis all this shitty stuff about his life that is true, then go to him out of nowhere saying I didn't mean any of it! Sounds delightful. 

Once Louis is back at his dorm, he slams the door shut, throwing the backpack on the ground before crawling into bed.

Louis hasn't acted like that in the longest time. Not since the beginning of first year. He's never fucking cried like that. What even happened?

He quickly falls asleep, tired from all of the crying he just did. 

...

Louis wakes up feeling arms wrapped around his waist. His head is fucking pounding. 

He groans, pushing Liam off. "You have a boyfriend." 

Liam wakes up scared, realizing what he just said. "But you're my best mate."

Louis huffs, getting out of bed to get an Advil. 

Liam is soon right there behind him. He can feel him watching as he takes the pills. He turns around. 

"Harry find you?" 

"Why did you fucking tell him where I was? You knew I like being there alone, Liam." Louis is mad now. He's mad at Liam for just telling Harry where to go find him. 

"He seemed really upset. I thought maybe you'd appreciate him coming by. He wouldn't stop asking me if you'd be at the room, or anywhere else. Louis, he seems really sorry." 

"Yeah, he's not. You don't just say that and take it back that easily."

"Have you ever done that?"

"Hm?" 

"Said something then want to take it back?"

Louis glares at Liam. "That's not the point--"

"That's exactly the point. He's sorry, Louis, I know it really upset you, but please. He clearly wants to make things right."

"And why should I forgive him that easily?" 

"You could just forgive him and move on. Try not to talk with each other anymore. Which quite frankly, I think it's impossible." 

Louis watches Liam. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You guys always have to be talking, it being bitter, or just being funny." 

Louis takes a deep breath. "Did you see his lip?" Louis is smiling a little. 

Liam laughs. "I've seen it all week. Told you it was a good hit."

Louis smiles a little too proud. "I know I'm not the one to hold a grudge. But I really want to hold one against him for some reason." 

Liam comes over, sitting down next to him. "It's just because you don't want to give him the feeling like you're willing to do whatever for him. I understand." 

Liam's right. Louis doesn't want Harry to think he's just going to do whatever he wants. Louis isn't like that. 

"Yeah. I guess." 

"It's alright. Just make sure he knows you won't put up with things like that." 

"I'm sure he knows." 

Liam chuckles. "I'm going out for breakfast." 

Louis pouts. "Leaving me again?" 

"Oh, I could stay? It's no problem, Lou." Liam frowns.

"I'm teasing. Go on." 

Liam smiles a little. "Love you." 

"Yeah, yeah." 

Louis watches Liam leave. He just sits there at the table. 

What has his life become? 

Liam is gone all night. He texted asking if it was okay if he spent the night elsewhere, Louis of course said he didn't care. He texted Niall seeing if he could come around, but he was golfing.

It's late now and Louis is watching Grease. He really doesn't know why he loves this movie that much, or how he can watch it all the time. 

It makes him happy, he supposes. Everyone has that one source of weird happiness, right?

Louis falls asleep on and off during it. Each time he wakes up he actually restarts the movie, but ends up just falling asleep again. 

He jumps up when there is knocking on his door, waking up from his sleep. He rubs his eyes confused, walking over to the door. 

He opens it to see Harry. 

What the hell? 

He's wearing a hoodie with some basketball shorts. Since when does he ever dress like this?

"Um, can I help you?" 

Harry nods hesitantly. "Yeah. Can... I hang out here for a little?" 

Louis laughs. "Why?" 

"I don't...I just need somewhere to stay. For a little. Please Louis." 

Louis looks at him. He looks really upset. Something's obviously up. This reminds him of that one night.

"Only if you tell me why you want to stay here." 

Harry sighs loudly. "Louis, come on." 

"There are plenty of places here in London! Find elsewhere." Louis closes the door but Harry puts his foot in the way. 

"Move your fucking foot before I break it!"

Harry pushes the door a little. "I'm asking nicely. You don't have to talk to me. Just as a favor. I'm usually out on Saturdays, but I have nothing to do and I can't...don't want to be home. So please?"

Louis narrows his eyes. "Why can't you be home?" 

Harry frowns a little, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, this was stupid." He starts walking away. 

Don't do it Louis. Don't fucking--

"Hey Styles." 

Harry turns around with a little hope on his face. 

"Fine."

Harry nods smiling a little as he walks in. Louis closes the door slowly, mentally smacking himself.

"Grease?" Harry asks as he sits down on the couch. 

"Thought we weren't going to talk." 

"Oh, sorry." 

Louis looks at him before sitting down himself.

"It's one of my favorite movies. Actually, probably is my favorite." 

Harry nods slowly. "I can see you as a Grease boy."

"I did play Danny Zuko in my High School play." 

Harry raises his eyebrows. "You didn't." 

"I did." Louis laughs shaking his head at the memory. "That's when I first watched the movie. For the play. Then I fell in love with it. Or maybe I just fell in love with the thought of playing his character. I don't know." 

Harry smiles a little. "I've always been a West Side Story guy."

Louis huffs. "Disgusting." 

Harry looks at Louis a little more before turning his head to the telly. Louis continues to stare. 

"Look Harry, I'm sorry for how I acted. I get over emotional sometimes, it happens." Harry looks back at Louis and he gulps. "Like, that hasn't happened in the longest time and I'm sorry you had to see that. Just ignore it." 

Harry bites the inside of his cheeks as he stares. "We can't talk about it?"

Louis frowns. "No." 

"I...I feel horrible, Louis. I really do. I just want to know what you were talking about."

Louis shakes his head. "No."

He can't tell Harry anything. He only talks to Liam about this stuff. No way is he just going to come off and tell Harry everything because he had one off night.

Harry frowns. "It's been in my head." 

"What has?" 

"I'm not the only one to call you that." 

Louis closes his eyes. "We aren't doing this." He snaps. He looks back to the TV. Harry doesn't say another word. 

"Um, do you have any food?" 

"No, the kitchen is just decoration." 

Harry laughs hard making Louis look. Harry covers his mouth. 

He coughs before standing up and walking over. 

He hasn't really seen Harry laugh like that. Hate to admit it was cute, but it sure was. 

Louis shakes his head. 

There's a loud bang and Louis looks over. 

Harry looks like he just broke something by the look on his face. 

Louis stands up. "What the hell did you..."

Louis walks over to see about a million skittles on the ground. Well, not a million. But a shitload of skittles spilled on the ground. 

He looks up at Harry who's eyes are wide.

"Are you fucking two years old?" Louis snaps. He runs his hand in his hair. "I'm not cleaning this up." 

Harry looks up. He starts laughing. Louis glares at him. 

"Is this funny to you? Did you spill them on purpose?" 

Harry laughs, covering his mouth a little by gripping his bottom lip.

Louis finds his lips twitching upwards a little but he stops himself. 

"It just rained skittles, I swear." 

Louis has to force a frown not to smile and laugh. Harry's giggling to himself. Louis forces himself to roll his eyes. 

"Harry, pick these up." 

"Don't you have a vacuum?"

"My floor is clean. I want them back into the baggy, they aren't going to a waste because you're a ditz."

"A ditz," Harry mumbles before kicking off his shoes, then getting onto his knees, "Remind me never to eat anything from you."

Louis chuckles a little, sitting down at the table watching Harry pick up each skittle. 

Harry looks very concentrated as he does this. 

Louis finds himself laughing and he looks up.

"How did you even manage to do that?" 

"They were stuck in the cabinet, so I pulled. Maybe a little too hard. Went flying everywhere. Not my fault you leave the bag open."

"Because I never take them out. I just stick my hand in the cabinet to grab some." 

Harry shakes his head. "I am a ditz." 

Louis watches and sighs. He gets down on the ground, helping Harry pick them up.

Harry looks at him before laughing again. 

"What is so funny?" 

Harry shrugs. "The fact I did this. How did I even manage to do it?" 

"You seem to be very clumsy." 

"I am. I have pigeon feet."

"Pigeon feet?" 

"Yeah." 

"What's that?" 

"My toes point inwards." 

"Is that actually a thing?" 

"I suppose so. I have them." 

Louis chuckles. "Pigeon feet," he mumbles to himself. 

Harry is smiling at Louis before he continues picking up the skittles. 

Once they are done, Louis throws one remaining skittle at Harry's chest. "You can pick up that last one now." 

Harry smiles a little as he goes to pick it up. 

"There. I picked up about one hundred and twelve skittles." 

"You counted?" Louis asks walking back over to the couch. 

Harry follows with the bag. "I did. You didn't?" 

"Why the hell would I count?"

"It's interesting. You should have." 

"Yeah, sorry, let's go spill them once more and I'll try it again." 

Harry laughs. 

Louis stares at him. He reaches over, touching Harry's jaw. Harry flinches a little and Louis frowns, but ignores it.

"Can't believe I actually did that. Me, Louis the Tommo Tomlinson did that." 

Harry chuckles. "Louis the Tommo Tomlinson?" 

"People used to call me that back in the day." 

"Oh really?"

"Yes." 

Harry frowns a little. "I wasn't going to hit you back, just so you know." 

Louis looks at him. "Uh, yeah you were." 

Harry shakes his head not making eye contact. "I was just going to shove you. I couldn't hit you." 

"Why?"

Harry looks at him. "Is this the wrong time to call you small? Will you be the one kicking me out?" 

Louis huffs. "Yeah." 

"I deserved it." 

"Yeah you did. I'm not afraid to do it again." 

Harry narrows his eyes. "Alright. I'll be careful around you now, Louis the Tommo Tomlinson." 

Louis giggles. "Good. Little old me here is stronger than I look." 

Harry raises his eyebrows. "Yeah." 

Louis sighs. He doesn't know what else to say. He can't believe he's actually getting along with him. And he's not annoyed at all.

"Louis?"

"Mm?" 

"Why _do_ you drink so much?"

Louis snaps his head to look at him. Fucking eating out of his bag of skittles looking innocent. 

"I'm not talking about this."

"I want to know. There's a reason." 

"You don't have to know everything." 

"You don't have to keep everything to yourself." 

"Why the fuck would I tell you?" Louis is getting mad. 

"I'm curious?" 

"Oh, well, in that case." 

"Louis, come on." 

"Fuck off, Harry." 

"You're so annoying. I don't understand why you feel the need to constantly drink--"

Louis stands up. "Then get the fuck out?" 

Harry stares, making a face. Louis rips the skittles out of his hands. "Get out!" 

Harry stands up, glaring at Louis before walking towards the door. Louis lets out a sigh. 

Harry opens the door then stops, making Louis turn around. 

"Louis, my shoes are in the kitchen." 

Louis rolls his eyes, storming over there, grabbing Harry's shoes. He whips them at him, Harry stumbling to try and catch them. He doesn't.

Harry walks out with his shoes in his hands, slamming the door behind him. 

Louis falls on the couch. 

Sometimes he wishes he wasn't so short tempered. He wishes he could talk about everything, to someone besides Liam. He wishes things could be a bit simpler.


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones short sorry

Louis falls asleep on the couch. He wakes up the next morning. He checks his phone. It's only eight A.M. Why is he up so fucking early?

Louis felt bad after kicking Harry out. He can really tell he's trying. He just doesn't want to feel pressured to say anything yet, you know? 

Louis is just like this though. People try to talk to him, but he just pushes away. He grew up getting used to people leaving. So he pushes away so people don't have to worry about him. 

Only person he keeps around is Liam. And he feels selfish for doing it. 

Louis stands up, going to get coffee. He needs to sit by the window. 

He grabs his phone and headphones, heading out. It's a beautiful day outside. It's sunny and cool. Nothing is better than fall. 

He didn't even fix his hair. It's an absolute mess, fringed on his head. He hates going out in public like this. Whatever. 

He opens the door and his eyes widen as he sees Harry. He's wearing a white rolling stones t-shirt. It's completely faded out. Looks really old, which Louis thinks is odd. He is wearing his sunglasses, ripped jeans, same old boots. 

Does God hate him? Why is he fucking everywhere?

He doesn't see Louis and Louis goes to turn around to walk out. 

"Louis!" 

He scrunches his face before turning around slowly. He can feel Harry looking at him now. 

"Hey Benny." 

"Why you heading straight out? Don't you want your stuff?" 

"Uh, I was, um, yeah. Sure."

Benny smiles and Louis gets out his money, not looking at Harry who is still watching him. 

Benny hands him his things and Louis gives him the money. 

"Keep the change." 

"Sure. Thanks." 

Louis nods before going to sit down. He quickly puts in his headphones, putting on Guns N' Roses. 

He scrolls through his phone, looking to text Liam. He sees movement ahead and he wants to throw up. 

Harry pulls out a chair across from him, sitting down while giving a small smile.

Louis bites his bottom lip before looking back down. He still feels Harry glaring at him.

Isn't it obvious he just wants to be alone? 

He looks back up and Harry is still staring. Louis rolls his eyes, pulling out his headphones. 

"What?"

"Nothing. You know the owner?" 

"Yeah," Louis mumbles. "Friends of Liam." 

Harry nods. "Liam suggested this place to Zayn, during the summer." 

Louis nods. "Cool." 

He doesn't care? 

"He talked about you, you know. Said how brilliant you were." 

Louis huffs. "Brilliant." He repeats. 

"You were with your family," Harry says and Louis looks back up, eyebrows raised. "Tell me about them." 

Louis glares. "Why would I--"

"I'm just properly trying to get to know you." Harry squeezes his eyes shut. He clearly wants to snap at Louis. "I'm being nice." 

"Maybe I don't want to talk about me." 

Harry opens his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Why are you like this?"

"If you are annoyed, then you can leave." 

Harry smiles a little, shaking his head. "What were you listening to?"

"Guns N' Roses." Louis mumbles. 

Harry nods. "Have you ever listened to Augustana?" 

"Who?" 

"Give me your phone." 

"What? I'm not--"

"Louis, please. I have a song for you." 

Louis watches him as Harry's hand is out, ready for his phone. He hands it to him. 

Harry types in a song, giving it back to Louis. 

"It's called Stars and Boulevards." He shrugs. "Reminds me of you."

Louis straightens his lips. "You have a song that reminds you of me?"

Harry nods.

Louis doesn't know if he should be offended or honored? What is this?

"Well, okay."

Harry chuckles. "You obviously don't like talking to me. I'll go."

He stands up and Louis starts feeling bad? He doesn't want to feel bad, but he does.

"Harry, I'm sorry." He says quickly.

Harry nods slowly. "See you on campus."

He walks out with coffee in hand.

Louis looks down at the song, putting his headphones back in to play it.

_Wait dear, a white horse is walking down my street here,_   
_Your words are creeping at my feet._

Weird. He continues listening. 

_Seems like I'm never coming home,  
Seems like I'm always on my own._

Louis takes a deep breath.

 _Late nights, won't do me justice,_  
Cause when I drink, I just get so damn depressed,  
And its not like, I ain't trying to get over you.  
It's just hard to look at all the seasons, pass me over too.

Louis turns it off. How the fuck can he relate to this song so easily, and how did Harry know to think of him? 

He licks his lips, trying to fix his messy fringe. 

Is Harry pitying him just because he basically saw him have a breakdown? Or because he actually feels bad about what he said?

Is he just doing this because Zayn is making him or something? Harry doesn't care about him. 

Louis hates not knowing really what's going on. And he doesn't know why he keeps letting himself be nicer and nicer to him. He doesn't want to become friends with Harry. 

He sighs. He's done. He can't just forgive him, just yet. Well, maybe he already did. But he doesn't have to befriend him yet. Didn't Harry say he doesn't want to be friends with Louis anyways? What changed in those few days?

Louis is frustrated and tired. He finishes his shit, throwing it out before walking home, listening to Stars and Boulevards. 

Liam is on the couch watching telly when he walks in. He mutes the TV, smiling at him. 

"Hey bud."

"How was last night? Very busy, obviously?" Louis asks and Liam shrugs. 

"Guess so. Zayn's a great guy. Did you know he can draw? Like, really freaking good, Louis." 

Louis nods. "Have him draw you like Jack drew Rose."

"You hate the titanic." 

"Well, doesn't mean you can't live a scene from it." 

Liam rolls his eyes. "What have you been up to?" 

Louis stays silent a little. 

"Is there a reason Harry doesn't like being home?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"Like..." Louis sighs. "It's...nevermind. I can't explain it. He just, twice, he's begged me to stay here for a little. He came here last night, saying there was no party and he didn't want to be home." 

Liam nods. "I believe other people live in that house with Harry."

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Do they?"

"Yeah. Two? Maybe three? I don't know. Zayn mentioned it."

Louis thinks back to that guy screaming at him, running the cigarette on Harry's arm. Was that one of the guys? 

Is Harry scared to be living in his own home?

"Who are they, anyways?" 

"Old family friends. They all bought house together. Think they have to stick together." 

Louis takes a deep breath. Does Harry have family problems as well? Why does he have to stick with them? Louis doesn't get the feeling they are good people. 

Louis will ask Harry. He sure asks enough about him.

"That sucks." Louis just says.

Liam nods. "Yeah, just like it sucks I'm stuck with you."

"Oh, really? Why don't you go move in with your artist of a boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"He is. You guys just haven't talked about it yet." 

Liam shrugs. "It's so weird. I didn't know I was gay. Honestly." 

"You might not be. There's a lot of things to describe sexuality." 

"Maybe." 

"It just sucks some people accept it, others don't." 

Damn it. Why the hell did he say that? Now it's going to look like he's looking for attention.

Liam frowns. "You okay?" 

Louis looks at him. "Better than ever. How about I make dinner?" 

Liam's smile returns, thankfully. He drops the subject. "You can't even cook mac and cheese."

"Well, that's what I was planning on cooking anyways. You up for some old Tommo dinner?" 

Liam laughs. "Why of course." 

"Lovely dear," Louis kisses his cheek as he just rolls his eyes, "Dinner shall be started."

Louis walks out with a smile, but as soon as he enters the kitchen, a frown comes on his face. 

And he steps onto something small, looking down to see a cracked skittle.


	13. XIII

Louis wants to talk to Harry. Very badly. 

He's so curious now. After what Liam told him, that he basically is forced to live with people. 

Who are they? Do they hurt him? Is that how he has that scar on his head?

Louis is so fucking curious. He doesn't know why, and he really doesn't want to know why, either. 

Liam and him approach Zayn and Harry in the morning. Harry's on his phone, typing in a long message, for what it seems. 

Louis pats Liam's back before sitting down next to Harry. 

Harry doesn't look up. Louis watches him. 

"Whatcha typing there?" 

Harry looks up hesitantly at Louis, before looking back down.

"Typing in all the things I know. I have a test coming up." 

"What class?" 

"Philosophy." 

"Well you're lucky that's my best subject." 

Harry clicks away his phone, giving Louis a look. "I didn't say I needed help." 

Louis doesn't know what to say. He just laughs awkwardly. 

Harry tilts his head a little, looking at Louis. "Your quiff is back."

Louis looks up but realizes he can't actually see it himself. "Yeah. It's always here."

"Wasn't yesterday," Harry stands up throwing his bag over his shoulder, "It looked nice." 

He walks away and Louis tries to bite his tongue. Maybe Louis should try to get to know what kind of person Harry is? 

Because if he actually is willing to be friends with Louis, maybe Louis can try. Maybe he can try so he doesn't have to be up Liam's poor arse all the time. 

"Harry!" 

He slowly turns around raising his eyebrows.

Louis approaches him. He coughs a little before speaking. "We should get food." 

Harry laughs a little. "What?" 

"Like, after classes. M-Maybe, I mean if you--"

"Sure, but why the sudden ask now?" Harry watches him, almost too cautiously. 

Shit. What does Louis say? He doesn't want Harry to know that he's trying to become friends with him. He doesn't want Harry to know he could possibly care.

"Well, I mean, I'm hungry after classes, and Liam's with Zayn all of the time. I can't cook and I don't want to go out alone." 

Harry starts smirking. "But you love going out alone, you made that clear to me." 

Louis stares at him, realizing Harry realizes what's going on. 

Louis smacks Harry's arm. "Shut the hell up." 

But what catches his eye is when Harry looks a bit thrown off. He almost gets a weird glaze in his eyes? 

Harry's smirk has faded and he lets out a deep breath. "Yeah. Food's fine. Where?"

Is he alright? Louis just hit him playfully, nothing serious.

"This one burger place is ace." 

Harry nods. "Fine with me." 

Louis wonders if he did something wrong. Harry seems off again. 

But his thought changes when Harry smiles at him calmly, walking away. 

Louis walks to Zayn and Liam. 

"Harry and I are going to hangout. I'm going to be nice." 

Liam looks at Louis then at Zayn. Zayn smiles at Louis. "I will be so fascinated if you guys actually end up being friends." 

"What do you mean?"

"You guys are too alike."

"Harry and I aren't alike," Louis huffs. 

Are they? He doesn't think so. Harry is nothing like Louis. 

"Yeah, you are." 

"Whatever. See you guys." 

Louis heads on down to class. His head starts rolling. 

"Shit!" 

He completely forgot he has a test in Physics. Usually, Louis doesn't study. Ever. Because he pays good attention in class. But when they learned the material for this stuff he couldn't get his fucking mind off of Harry. 

That bastard is basically giving him a bad grade. 

Louis gets to class, flipping through his notes before the day starts. 

...

Louis feels panicked. Why? He's just going to eat with Harry. 

Holy shit, why does he have to act like this? 

Louis is sitting at the table, hoping Harry will come here. He didn't really say where to meet. And they never had each other's numbers, which maybe they should exchange today. That is if Louis is going to try and befriend him. 

Almost as if Harry is reading his mind, he approaches him. "It'd be a lot easier if I was able to text you." 

Louis looks up, smiling a little. "Yeah. Give me your phone." 

Harry does as said. Louis puts in his number. 

Should he make his contact Louis or something funny? Fuck. 

He decides on Tommo. Why? He doesn't know.

He texts himself and his phone goes off with a vibrate. 

Harry takes back his phone raising his eyebrows. "Tommo?" 

"Indeed." 

"I'm not keeping that." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "And why not shitty pants?" 

Harry chuckles. "I don't do nicknames. I keep my phone nice and organized." 

"Just when I thought you couldn't get more uninteresting." 

Harry gulps a little, small frown appearing on his face. "You really find me uninteresting?" 

What the hell? Did he really get offended by that? He's joking. Louis jokes a lot. 

"Mate, this friendship thing won't work out if you're going to be hurt by everything I say. I'm sarcastic." 

Harry makes a weird face. "Suppose so. Walk us to the place." 

Louis nods as they make their way. 

"Have you listened to the song I showed you?" Harry asks. Louis keeps his head facing on the ground. He doesn't want Harry to talk to him about it.

"No." 

"Why not?"

"I didn't want to." 

Only, Louis has been listening to it nonstop. Along with other songs by the band.

Harry sighs. "I truly think you would like it, Louis." 

He's right. How can he know so little, but just _know_.

"We'll have to find out another time then." 

Harry doesn't say anything and they walk in silence. 

They get to the place, getting their seats. 

Louis orders a beer straight away. He glances at Harry who looks down at his rings with sad eyes. Why does he care what he drinks?

Harry looks into the menu, Louis already knows what he's getting.

"I love their bacon burger. It's a true masterpiece," Louis suggests. 

Harry doesn't say anything. He continues looking at the menu.

Why is he quiet all of a sudden?

The waitress comes back and Louis orders his burger. Harry gets a chicken sandwich. 

"How can you get a chicken sandwich when their burgers are the best in this town?" Louis drinks from beer. 

Harry watches him drink before answering. "I just like chicken sandwiches." 

Louis nods. "Well, you're missing out."

 "I bet I am." 

Louis stares at Harry who stares at Louis. And he starts getting mad. Why? He doesn't know.

"You live with other people."

Harry's eyes widen the slightest, but his body sure tightens up.

"What?" 

"Liam mentioned it to me. That's why you wanted to stay at my place those two nights, didn't you?" 

Harry shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Yeah, you do. I'm not trying to sound like the bad guy, I'm just curious. Harry, do they hurt you?" 

Harry snaps his head to Louis. "Don't ever make up bullshit like that."

"You're clearly scared of them. The man with the cigarette. He was one of the guys." 

"Louis, I don't want to talk about this subject."

"So it's alright when you ask me things that I don't want to answer?" 

Harry watches Louis. And he starts smirking again? God damn it, why does he do that all of the time?

Louis drinks some of his beer. 

"Touche, Louis Tomlinson." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "So?"

"Not speaking of it. You haven't touched the hot wings, dear. They are very good." 

Louis glares at him, crossing his arms. "I know that, I'm the one who has been here before." 

"Getting snappy now, are we?" 

"Shut up, Harry. I was trying to be nice." 

"I see. You know what else is nice? These hot wings." 

Louis looks back up at Harry, fighting a smile. But it's impossible once he sees Harry's own. 

What is he thinking?

Harry lifts up a wing trying to get Louis to obviously laugh. And it works. 

"Damn you," Louis shakes his head. 

Harry smiles satisfied before eating his wings.

Louis looks back up to his scar. Did they really do this to him? They must have if he really doesn't want to talk about it. 

He sighs to himself. "I'm not good at the whole talking thing. But I know sometimes it's easier to talk to people you aren't really friends with."

And it's true. Right before college started, Louis met this guy. His name was Stephan. He was a little tipsy, sitting outside the bar. He was upset. And he just told Louis to talk. To spit everything out. And he did. 

It made him feel better, because he wasn't judging. He just listened. 

Harry watches him and shrugs. "What are you inferring?" 

"I mean, I can try. To listen, if you want me to. If you ever want to talk about," Louis looks at his scar, "Something." 

Harry notices and he runs his hand through his long hair, shaking his head. 

Louis gives him his closed smile just as the food arrives. 

Harry doesn't talk the rest of the time. Louis tries to make conversation and Harry will either nod, shake his head, or shrug it off. 

"You okay?" Louis asks. 

Harry nods, eating his chicken sandwich. "Yeah. It's not you."

Louis tilts his head a little, questioning. But he doesn't ask anymore. Is he pushing it too far now? 

Harry's going to hate him even more now. 

They finish eating, not even talking. The bill comes eventually, Louis gets out his wallet. 

"No," Harry says sternly making Louis look up, "No, my treat." 

Louis gets confused. "But I asked you--"

"Doesn't matter. It's okay Louis, really. My treat." 

Louis is about to argue when Harry already has the money out. 

"Please don't say you're just doing this because you finally decided to feel bad for the poor." 

Harry shakes his head. "Not at all." 

Louis takes a deep breath. "Sorry." 

Harry places the money down, nodding before standing up. "I need to get home."

"Are you sure you want to go home? You could come to my place again?" 

Fuck. Why'd he just ask him that?

"Agh," Louis runs his hand over his face, "Sorry. Nevermind. I never asked that, you didn't hear a thing." 

Louis walks past Harry because he doesn't want to see his face. He's either confused, amused, or mad. 

They walk out and Louis goes to cross the street. 

He feels a hand wrap around his arm, yanking him back. He gasps a little, tripping back over the curb, knocking Harry down with him.

He hears Harry whimper a little, and Louis snaps back.

"What the hell was that?" 

Harry's all the way on the ground, on his back while Louis is just on his bum. He pushes himself up, wincing. 

"You didn't look both ways." 

The look in Harry's eyes say something, but he doesn't know what.

Louis feels his stomach drop a little in almost a flattering way? 

"There...there was no cars coming, Harry." 

Harry takes a deep breath. "Sorry, that was dumb of me." 

"It was. Now we both are ditz's on the ground." 

Harry forces out a small chuckle, standing up. He offers Louis his hand. He grabs it, standing up. 

"Sorry." Harry mumbles once more as they cross.

"Glad you're looking out for me, dear." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "I'll walk you home." 

"You don't need to." 

"I know." 

Louis watches Harry who is staring at his feet as he walks. Louis looks down at his boots.

"I wish I could pull of boots like those." 

That's a lie. Louis hates boots. But they do look incredibly good on Harry's feet, for some reason.

"You could pull off anything." 

"Oh, sure. I think I'd pull of me birthday costume the best." 

Harry doesn't say anything, just a small laugh. 

"Are you alright? I mean, from when you fell." 

"Yeah. My arse saved the fall." 

He notices Harry glancing his eyes downwards, Louis smacks his arm around. 

Harry jumps once again. Why is he getting nervous when Louis messes with him in that way?

"I love your ass. Sure was the first thing I noticed about you." 

"Shut up."

"It's true. It's bigger than your mouth."

Louis giggles a little, having to cover his mouth. "At least I don't have pigeon feet." 

Harry reaches out his arm, stopping their walking. Louis looks at him confused. 

"Look. Am I wrong?" 

Louis glances down at Harry as he stands. He starts laughing. "Oh my God."

Harry's shoulders slump. "Told you." 

"It's alright, mate. We all have our flaws, yours just happens to be inhuman and bird like." 

Harry laughs. Like really laughs. Louis looks at him. His dimples, the crinkles by his eyes, just completely beaming. And Louis starts to think Harry Styles is actually kind of pretty. 

 


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another short one sorry

Louis finds himself smiling watching Harry laugh. He doesn't know why, and he doesn't know if he likes it or not. 

Harry runs his hand through his long hair once he's done laughing, sniffing his nose. 

"Doesn't your rings get caught in your long hair when you run your fingers through it?" Louis asks out of nowhere. 

Harry shrugs. "No." 

"Why do you have long hair? Doesn't it get annoying?" 

Harry looks at Louis. "It happens not to bother me, Louis. I kind of was dared." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Um. My hair was getting long, and my...friends made fun of me. They dared me to let my hair grow to about my chest." He shrugs, "I can just donate it all once it's there." 

Donating his hair. Louis didn't know Harry was that good of a person to think about doing that. Louis could never tolerate long hair on himself.

"It's almost at your chest." Louis says.

Harry smiles a little. "So that means I'll cut it soon." 

"I can't imagine you with short hair." 

"Well, of course not. You've never seen me with my short hair." 

Louis nods. "I know." 

"It's not the worst thing."

Louis looks down at his arm. He has so many tattoos. The weirdest ones. A mermaid with boobs showing, a big blob that Louis can't tell what it is. Is it a heart? What the hell? 

He's just about to ask Harry about it when he's interrupted.

"Harold Styles?" 

Louis and Harry both look up to see a girl smiling, looking at Harry. Louis glances between the two of them. Harry's smiling. 

"Lucy," he opens his arms as she runs into them. Louis steps back, feeling extremely awkward.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asks stepping back, still holding onto his arm. 

"I could ask you the same thing." 

"Marty's parents are moving down here, so we just came here a little to help them out with the move."

"I'm attending college here." 

The girl, Lucy, smiles. "I'm glad, Harry." 

Harry nods as Lucy starts to glance at Louis. 

Fuck, he hates being in situations like this.

"And who's this?" 

"I'm Louis." He mumbles.

Louis notices Lucy glance at Harry who quickly shakes his head. 

She looks back at Louis smiling. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm an old friend of Harry's. Actually, Gemma's old friend. But yeah." 

Louis nods even though he has no idea what she is talking about. 

"I'll talk with you later, Harry. Maybe meet up before we head back home." She smiles. 

Harry laughs lightly. "Of course." 

She waves before walking past them. 

Louis looks at Harry raising his eyebrows. Harry just gives a quick dirty look. "Shut up, Louis."

"I didn't even say anything, Harold." 

Harry clenches his jaw, shaking his head. "You're thinking something insulting." 

Louis laughs. "Actually, I'm not. Who's Gemma?" 

"She's um, my sister." 

"Your sister? Do you have any other siblings?" Louis asks as they start slowly walking. 

Harry shakes his head.

"How old is she?" 

"She's like, twenty four, I think." 

"You think," Louis finds himself laughing.

Harry remains quiet. 

Is he alright? 

They arrive to Louis' flat and Harry stuffs his hands in his pocket, still not saying anything. 

Louis is about to ask him if he wants to come in, but he decides against it. He has to remember he can't be too annoying yet.

"I'll see you tomorrow at campus," Louis gives a closed smile. 

Harry nods, giving a very fake smile before walking away. 

That's odd. Why does he do that so much?

Louis sighs, running up the stairs and to his room. 

He sees Zayn on the couch, smelling Liam's cooking the second he walks in. 

"Hey lads," Louis smiles, walking to the couch to sit on himself. 

"Louis." 

"I'm cooking your favorite," Liam calls from the kitchen.

"I know, I have a nose." 

Zayn rests his head back on the couch, looking at Louis.

Louis opens his mouth, closing it, before reopening it. "Who does Harry live with?" 

Zayn laughs, like he knew Louis was going to mention Harry. 

"Louis, as close as Harry and I seem, we aren't as close as you think. We were friends in high school, yeah. But he never stuck close with just one person. He always moved around. So, I don't know much about his life that you might think I do. I just know how he is. He doesn't tell anyone anything."

Louis frowns. He really wasn't expecting that. Harry made it seem like they're really close. So it doesn't make any sense.

"Harry told me you guys are like a package deal." 

"Did he now?" Zayn starts smirking.

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

He shrugs. "We just are always at the same places, never really hanging out though. I mean, we did know we were going to the same college. So we went together in that way. But Harry told me he had a place to live. So I just got myself my own apartment."

"You really don't know anything about him?" 

"Harry doesn't like to talk." 

Louis sighs. "Clearly."

"We'll see." Zayn says shrugging.

"What?" 

Zayn just smiles. "I should help Liam in the kitchen." He stands up walking away. 

What the hell does he mean, we'll see?

Louis wants to keep asking him, but he doesn't want to annoy Zayn.

He starts to wonder if Harry is close with his sister Gemma. And about the rest of his family.

Actually, he can't be close with his sister. He said he thought she was twenty four.

Louis doesn't really ask people about family because he doesn't like that topic. Family is one of the reasons Louis is who he is today. 

You either grow up happy with your family, or not. Louis just happens to be on the not side. 

There was so much...so much that happened to him growing up. The worst things a child could ever experience. And he had to go through it all alone. 

So, Louis hates talking about it, just because he starts to feel that loneliness again. He feels lonely now, obviously. But it's completely different. 

Louis doesn't like when others aren't happy. He grew up making sure everyone was happy before himself. He never really had the time for himself. 

"Dinners ready," he hears Liam calling, giggling. He looks to see Zayn kissing his neck. 

Louis sighs, forcing a smile before standing up by himself.

 


	15. XV

Louis eats dinner with Liam and Zayn. He hated every second.

Usually Louis isn't one to care about this. He just felt so fucking...lonely. Maybe it would have been fine if like, Harry or Niall were even there.

He didn't want to tell Liam or Zayn that though. He guesses they already knew anyways. Like, he was alone with them when all they wanted to do was suck each others dick under the table. 

Louis gets in his bedroom early, keeping the door closed so he can try to block out the sound of Liam and Zayn. His Nona called him. She just wanted to tell Louis about the girls. They miss Louis so much. Mom is stressed and trying to work, even though she's not doing the best. At least she's actually trying. 

Louis knows he needs to get a job. He needs to get money on his own. Liam can't keep helping him out as well. He hates asking so much from him, but he can't help it. 

He's happy Liam's got Zayn, just because he won't feel as bothered by Louis that much anymore. Or, he will because he's just going to want to be by only Zayn. Wait. What's he thinking. Liam's too good for that. 

Louis sighs, closing his eyes, hoping to fall asleep. Tomorrow's Friday and he hopes maybe he can talk to Harry some more. Maybe he can open up to Louis soon. 

...

"Bingo!" Harry shouts as Louis and Liam approach once again Harry and Zayn, Niall is actually there as well, watching Harry play whatever he's playing on his cellphone. 

Louis sits on the other side of Niall, patting his hand on his leg. 

"Hey bud." Louis gives Niall a closed smile. 

Niall gives him a quick hug, leaning his head into his neck. "How're ya?" 

"Little old me is doing just fine." 

Niall smiles, looking back at Harry's phone. 

"Whatcha playing curly?" 

Curly? Why did Louis call him that? Well, maybe because his hair looks more curly than usual. Why does his hair look more curly than usual? 

Harry gulps a little, hesitating and glancing to look at Louis before back to his phone. "Curly?" 

"Your hair is very curly today." 

Harry shrugs. "Is that good or bad?" 

Does Harry think he's trying to insult him? God damn it, he needs to seriously realize Louis isn't that mean. 

"Clearly good. Wish I had curly hair meself." 

Harry smiles and he feels relieved. 

"Bingo." 

"You're playing Bingo..." 

"I am. What's wrong with that?" 

Louis laughs a little and Niall looks at him. "I'm interested in his game, actually. I've been watching him play for ten minutes." 

"You guys are lame," Louis stands up, bringing his books up to his chest. He looks at Harry who is still playing bingo, looking down to see his journal placed in-between his legs. He would honestly die to see what he writes in that thing. 

"What are we doing today lads?" Louis smiles glancing between all of them. Mostly Harry, who doesn't look up. 

"Liam and I were thinking maybe we should go laser tagging, then get some drinks afterwards." Zayn says running his hand through Liam's hair. 

Louis starts feeling jealous. Only he can mess around with Liam's hair. He hates it. But, Liam just laughs it off with Zayn. 

"Laser tagging?" Niall stands up jumping, "I'm so in!" 

He wraps his arm around Louis' shoulder and Louis tries standing on his toes a little. Niall's short too, but Louis is still shorter. He wants to be taller than at least someone. 

Harry is putting away his phone when he looks up. 

"What made you think of that?" Louis asks them. 

Zayn shrugs. "I've never done it." 

"I thought about the time you, Jason and I went. Thought it'd be fun." Liam smiles at Louis.

He laughs, nodding. "That was fun. I'm sure we'll have a blast." 

Louis sighs as he lets his feet down, not being able to stay on his tip toes anymore. He looks up to Harry who is glancing down at Louis' feet, smiling amusingly. 

He looks him in the eyes and just shakes his head. Louis gives him a what look. 

"Zayn's going to drive us all." Liam says standing up.

"Alright," Louis slides himself from under Niall's arms, "We got classes. Later." 

He starts walking away feeling insecure. Harry clearly wanted to make fun of him for being short again. Right?

Why does he have to be so fucking small? Meanwhile Harry is so tall and muscular, and there he just is. 

Louis practically growls, getting annoyed with his thoughts. 

"Louis." 

He hears Harry call from behind and he wants to punch him. Well, not really. 

He doesn't even realize how fast he is walking till he trips on a rock, his books go flying ahead of him. 

"Damn it," Louis grunts placing his hands to his face. He keeps them there a while to try and calm down. He looks up to see Harry bending down, grabbing his things. 

He walks over, giving the books to Louis. 

"You know a backpack would make your life a whole lot easier." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "I know that." 

"Why don't you have one?" 

Louis gulps. 

His dad would always call Louis weak. He told Louis that he shouldn't be carrying around a backpack, it's just messing up his back. That he should carry around his books so he could possibly build up some arm muscle, which probably isn't true. 

He doesn't know why he still carries them. His dad isn't around anymore to tell him otherwise... Guess it just stuck with him.

"No reason," he forces out quietly.

Harry watches him before nodding softly. "Well, you left this at the table." 

Harry holds out Louis' book he has been reading. Well, he actually isn't even reading it. He just carries it around to look at when he's bored in class.

He places the book on top of all of Louis' other things, before giving a small smile. Louis notices the dimples popping out shyly. 

"Thanks. See you at laser tagging." 

He goes to walk away when Harry starts talking again. 

"You don't need to worry about being short, Lou." 

He slows down. Lou? Why the hell is Harry calling him Lou? And why the hell is he telling him this? He is about to turn around when he decides against it. He just keeps walking because he doesn't know what to say to him. 

...

Harry is sitting in the back when Zayn gets to their room. Niall gets in the middle though, so Louis and Harry aren't sitting by each other. Not like he cares or anything. 

Louis has his flask filled with alcohol and he's definitely just a tad bit tipsy. He can't play an intense game sober. 

He takes a quick sip, stuffing it back in his pocket. 

Niall whacks his arm. "You're so dumb."

"What?" Louis smiles at him, nudging his noise into his neck. Niall just laughs, messing up his quiff. 

"Hey, hey, hey, not the hair." Louis snaps trying to fix it. Niall continues messing it up, "Fucking hell, can you stop--"

"Boys, calm down back there," Zayn says making Niall laugh hard. 

He stops and Louis glares at him, trying to fix his quiff which isn't even a quiff anymore. "Fuck you." 

Niall shrugs and he sighs, letting his hair be messy. He looks at Harry who is playing with his rings. 

"Hey curly." Louis says loudly, smiling. 

Harry glances up, shooting him a polite smile before looking back down. 

"I'm ready to kick that pretty arse of yours in laser tag. I'm quite a rockstar at it." Louis smiles leaning back. 

Harry nods, spinning his rings around. 

"It's true. Louis is sick."

"I'm sick at everything I do." 

"Ain't that right, Tommo." Niall pinches his side. Louis leaps up, laughing because that always fucking tickles him to death. 

"Stop that, you know I'm ticklish there." 

"You're ticklish everywhere." 

"Alright good point." 

Louis takes out his flask, taking a big sip before putting it back. "What're the teams?" 

"Are you really--"

"Oh, sorry. Forgot we got this lovely couple here." Louis rolls his eyes. 

The ride is a little longer and Harry doesn't say a thing. Louis is getting drunk and is very happy at the moment and he doesn't know why. 

He honestly thinks it might be because Harry said it's okay to be short. He doesn't know why that affected him so much, but he's just so fucking happy right now.

They climb out the car, and Harry walks slowly behind. Louis stops walking with Niall, running back a little, grabbing Harry's wrist. He looks up very confused. 

"Come on, slow poke! You're wasting daylight here!" Louis pulls him and he just softly laughs, shaking his head as he is dragged. 

They get inside and go to get everything set.

Once everything is on, Louis takes a big drink out of his flask. Harry hurries over to him, pushing it away from his mouth. 

"Stop, someone's going to see you." 

"So? I'm a grown man, Harold." He hiccups a little before giggling. 

Harry just sighs, nodding slowly. 

Louis watches him before grabbing his gun. "Now come on. We need to get Niall and go." 

Harry's slow behind, but Louis and Niall go full out. 

They duck under everything possible. Harry is slow to move, but he's trying. 

"I actually think they are hiding somewhere sucking their cocks, I haven't seen them once," Louis sighs and Niall bursts out laughing. 

"Maybe," Niall sighs. 

Louis glances at Harry who is squatting like the rest of them, looking at his laser gun. 

"What's up your arse?" 

Harry looks up. "Me? Nothing." 

"Whatever it is, pull it out because it's supposed to be a fun night. We are laser tagging." 

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "Fuck off, Louis." 

Louis feels a little taken back, but just shrugs it off even though it's harder than usual. 

"Yeah, Harry, come on now," Niall says standing up. 

Niall's vest goes off and he rolls his head back, grunting. "Jesus Christ." 

Louis feels a hand wrapped around his arm. Harry looks like he's ready to pounce. 

"Crawl over here."

Harry lets go, starting to crawl.

He literally just told Louis a second ago to fuck off. Louis reaches in his pocket, drinking a bit before putting it back. He starts crawling. 

Harry is just laying on the ground. Like laying. 

"What the hell--"

"Just lie down next to me. Come on." 

Louis stares before slowly doing it. 

"Be quiet. It might be hard, but don't say a word. Be as quiet as a mouse, Louis." 

He almost laughs but he stays quiet. He stares up thinking how the hell can Harry turn from so quiet to so weird. 

He sees footsteps and looks up to Zayn and Liam. He's about to move but Harry is too quick, shooting both of them in the back. 

He laughs, falling back on the ground, looking at Louis who hasn't moved. Louis just turns his head on the ground to look at him. And he finds himself smiling because Harry's smiling. 

"You're better than you made yourself out to seem." 

Harry's smile slowly fades. He takes a deep breath. "Your breath smells like complete alcohol."

Louis finds himself not smiling anymore as well when Harry stands to his feet, talking to the rest. 

He closes his eyes. He doesn't want to be like this, but he can't help it. He needs to be drunk. It makes him feel better. 

He pushes himself up, forcing a small smile. 

"Bar's across the street. We can walk." Niall says pinching Louis' side again. 

Louis has to laugh, because you always have to laugh when you're tickled. 

They put away everything, walking to the bar. 

Harry's smiling now, walking and talking with Zayn and Liam. Louis is behind with Niall. 

"What'd he say bud?" Niall whispers. 

Louis shakes his head. "Nothing, it's me. Trust me." He huffs. 

Niall shrugs. "Well, you knock it off. Smile."

He laughs, "You suck." 

Niall kisses his cheek very loudly. He wipes away the saliva he left on his cheek, glancing upwards. Harry's turned around, looking at the two of them before slowly facing towards the front again. 

They get inside, sitting on the seats by the counter. Everyone gets a shot but Harry. 

Louis and Harry are sitting completely opposite sides, but as soon as Louis takes his first shot, Harry is walking over sitting next to him. 

He glares at him. "Oh, sorry mum. Did I drink too much? Am I grounded?" 

Harry's face doesn't change at all. "Just looking out for you. That's all." 

He says it softly. So fucking softly Louis thinks his heart actually melted from his chest. 

He continues staring at Harry, eyes narrowed. Harry just watches him back. And then Louis is looking at his lips. His soft, very pink, very plump lips. 

He wants to fucking kiss him. So bad. 

Louis squeezes his eyes shut. What the hell, he can't kiss Harry. They aren't even really friends yet. And Louis doesn't want to kiss anyone. Ever. 

What is he doing to him? 

Louis drinks some more. And Harry is just watching him. Just fucking watching. Louis is trying to talk to Niall, but he can't focus because when Harry's staring at you it feels like about a hundred eyes are burning your soul. 

He snaps back to Harry after about ten minutes. He wants to yell at him, but he doesn't. Because he was nice. He just needs to get out of here. 

He glances at the tattoos on Harry's arm when the stupidest idea comes to mind. 

"I want tattoos like you." He blurts out. 

Harry looks taken back. "What?" 

"I want to get a tattoo. Right now. Take me to get one." Louis is standing up and Harry looks completely stunned. 

"Louis, you're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

"Please, Harry, shut the hell up. I know what I'm saying. I want a tattoo. They are cool. Take me. Now."

"Louis--" 

"God damn it!" Louis shouts slamming his hand down on the counter making the rest look, "Just take me!" 

Harry's eyes widen as he starts standing up. Louis takes a deep breath, putting on a smile looking at the rest. "We'll be back. I'm getting a tatt."

Louis turns around laughing at the rhyme he just mad. Harry and him walk out. Harry's stuck behind though, probably getting Zayn's keys. 

"Did you hear me rhyme?" Louis asks giggling. 

Harry looks down as they walk back, smiling lightly. "Louis you realize tattoos are permanent." 

"Uh, yeah? I have a brain?" 

"That's not what I meant." He sighs, unlocking the car before getting in. Louis gets in on the side. 

"You're inferring to it. I'll be fine, right? You have a lot...do they hurt? Like will I tear up?" 

Harry actually laughs. "Um, you should be fine. Depending where you get it."

Louis starts looking at his arms. "I want it on me right. A little guy on a skateboard." 

Harry makes a face as they drive. "Er, why?" 

"I fucking used to love skateboarding. When I was a child, ya know. It was when I was happy in my life. So, yeah. I'd love to have a happy memory permanently on my arm."

He doesn't even mean to say that. Fuck, Louis hates when he says things like he wants to be pitied. He doesn't, he just flatly says out everything. 

Harry licks his lips slowly, not saying anything the rest of the ride. 

They get to the tattoo shop, and Louis is practically skipping in, Harry following behind. 

"Okay, I know I'm saying this again, but Louis, are you one hundred percent sure? Like absolutely, positively, unbelievably--" 

"I'm getting a tattoo!" Louis shouts completely ignoring him. The guy smiles, walking over. 

"Now what would you like, sir?" 

Louis goes sitting down in a chair. "Skateboard. A stick figure on a skateboard. On like a ramp, maybe. I dunno'. Just make it look artsy." 

The guy looks at Harry. "He's drunk. You sure he's gonna want this?" 

Harry sighs. "Drunk or sober, he won't take no for an answer." 

The guy nods and looks at Louis. "Alright. Where?" 

Louis points giving a huge closed smile. The guy gets his arm ready.

He starts placing the razor on, and Louis takes a deep breath. It hurts, but surely bearable.

Louis stares at Harry while he gets his tattoo. He looks extremely nervous. He watches Louis close, fingers pinching his bottom lip. 

"You remind me of someone." He blurts out. 

Harry pulls away his hand from his mouth. "Who?"

"I can't think of the name...he was in The Rolling Rocks or something." 

Harry smirks. "The Rolling Stones?" 

"Yes! That. You look like someone...Mick Jagger! Holy shit, you're a baby Mick." 

He starts laughing really hard, like, completely radiating happiness. Louis just wants to kiss him. 

Damn it. He needs to stop thinking that. Like really bad. He can't kiss Harry, he's not attracted to him. He's drunk. And horny. It'll go away tomorrow morning. 

"Don't move." The guy says. 

Louis didn't even realize he was moving. He starts giggling. 

Harry is still smiling widely. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"Excuse me. There is no pain in my arse." 

Harry makes a face. "What?!" 

Louis throws his head back. "Don't speak to me. I'm busy being inked on." 

"Sorry, sir." Harry mumbles. "You're so going to regret this. I'm just saying now." 

"Well, okay. I want a tattoo and you're not going to stop me from getting one, curly." 

"I didn't." 

"Good."

The guy finishes off, laughing. "Stubborn boyfriends." 

Louis glances at Harry who is blank faced. And he just bursts out laughing. "Boyfriend? Oh, please. I don't date." Louis says through his laugh. 

"My bad." The guy mumbles, wrapping something around Louis' arm. He can't think of the name for it...

He looks at Harry who looks sad again. Why does he always look fucking sad? 

Louis is going to throw up. 

Harry pays for the tattoo and he doesn't even realize because he's leaned over, clenching his stomach. 

He feels a hand on his back, slowly pushing him. "You going to puke?" 

"Yeah," Louis breathes out. 

Harry walks him outside, bringing him to the side of the building. 

Louis pukes immediately, Harry keeps his hand gently on his back. 

He finishes, groaning. He stands up quickly, almost blacking out. He falls a little but Harry's hands are quickly on him, holding him steady.

"Jesus, Lou." 

Lou. He needs to stop calling him that or he'll puke again. 

"Harry, me tired," Louis finds himself mumbling, closing his eyes. 

He hears a loud sigh, before his arm is put around Harry's shoulder. He is being walked back to the car. 

Harry helps him getting in, going to buckle his seat belt. Louis swats away.

 "No, seat belt hurt my tummy." 

"I don't care. You're wearing one." 

"No I'm--"

"Louis, shut the hell up and wear the God damn belt!" 

Louis snaps his eyes open and Harry looks completely breathlessly. He continues staring until Harry closes his eyes. 

"Please. You'll be safer and who cares if you puke in the car. I can always clean it for Zayn. Just wear it." 

Louis nods a little, closing his eyes. "Sure mum."

Last thing he remembers is the seat belt being buckled before falling asleep.


	16. XVI

Louis wakes up with a pounding headache. Like he actually think he's about to die any moment. He sits up panicked, not remembering a thing. 

He isn't in his own room. He looks to his side to see familiar long hair next to him. His eyes widen. 

Holy shit did Harry and him fuck? What happened last night? This can't be happening.

Louis starts calming down when he sees Harry has a shirt on, as well as himself. He's fully dressed. Okay. Maybe not.

He feels something on his arm and he looks. Louis gasps. 

He reaches over, not even meaning to, but he smacks Harry's back. 

Harry jumps up very fast, turning around with wide eyes, still looking tired. 

"What the hell is on my arm? Why the hell am I in your fucking bed?" 

Harry sighs, running his hand over his tired face as he fully turns around to look at him. "I knew this would happen." His voice is really raspy. Like, really fucking raspy that Louis forgets to speak.

"What?" 

"You would be mad." 

"I don't know--"

"You said you wanted a tattoo, Louis. You wouldn't take no for an answer. You made a scene until I took you to get one." 

Louis frowns. Did he really? Yesterday must have been one of the worst of his drunken nights. Never has he wanted a tattoo.

"This is ridiculous. Why am I here? Did we fuck or something? Please dont--"

Harry starts rolling his eyes. "No. You passed out in my car, so I just took you to my place because Liam was most likely busy with Zayn, anyways." 

Louis stares at Harry. He looks really soft. Cute even. So tired and gentle. 

"Why are we in the same bed? Don't you have like, twenty guest rooms." Louis raises his eyebrows and Harry gulps.

"I just...I...I'm going to make breakfast." He mumbles fast getting out of the bed and walking straight out. 

What the hell? 

Louis doesn't really care. As long as nothing sexual happened, he isn't too mad about this. He was trying to help. Louis was just wondering why he isn't in a guest bed or something.

Louis sighs, getting out of bed himself before walking to find Harry. He glances around the house. He doesn't see any signs of anyone. He wonders if people actually don't live here with Harry. 

As much as he wants to snoop, he doesn't. Just because Harry did something nice for him. He'll snoop another time. 

To his surprise, Harry actually is making breakfast. Well, just bacon. But still. 

"So you cook." Louis says sitting down. 

Harry doesn't turn around. "I could." 

"Any good at it?"

"I suppose so." 

Louis watches him. His one hand is rested on his hip, weight all on his left side, watching the bacon. 

"Halloween is next weekend. What're being?"

"You'll see." Harry says. Louis can hear the smile through his voice. 

Louis has no fucking clue what he's going to be. Or what they are doing that night. 

"Do you know what we are doing?" 

"I'm throwing a party. It's on a Friday night." 

"Course you are." Louis mumbles. 

The bacon is done and Harry turns around. "Now what's that supposed to mean, Louis?"

Louis shrugs. "Figured you would. House big enough and all. Mr. Popular lives here."

Harry huffs. "Mr. Popular?" 

He sits down placing the bacon in the middle. There's only like, four pieces. 

"You know a lot of people, don't you? Sleep around a lot, I'm guessing?" 

Harry glares at him. "Take your bacon and leave." 

Louis starts rolling his eyes. "Alright, curly, you don't need to get so butt hurt after everything I say." 

He clenches his jaw. "I want you to go. Now."

Louis grabs his two pieces of bacon, flipping off Harry before walking out. He doesn't even care at this point, anymore. Harry will realize soon enough Louis doesn't always say things to be rude. He's just straight up honest.

He gets out the house, walking back to his room which is going to take a while. He already knows it's going to be a long ass weak. 

...

Louis was right. It was a long ass week. Maybe because Harry ignored him again. He wouldn't even look at him. 

Did Louis even do anything wrong? He's done feeling guilty when there is nothing to feel guilty about. So he doesn't try talking to Harry, either. 

Liam and him are heading over to his house now, actually for Halloween. He couldn't decide on anything. So basically what he did was get an old white t-shirt and wrote on it. His shirt currently says, 'Error 404. Costume not found.'

He thought it was pretty clever. Liam did too. Speaking of him, he just has on a batman t-shirt. 

Louis isn't drinking, surprisingly. He said he wouldn't until the party, at least.

 They get there and immediately, Liam heads over to Zayn. Louis sighs, going to get a drink. 

Niall approaches him smiling widely. Louis glares. 

"What the hell are you?"

Niall chuckles. "I'm myself." 

"I figured. It's ugly as hell." 

Niall smacks his arm and Louis laughs into his drink. 

"Like yours is any better." 

"Hey, at least I put on something different."

"Barely."

"Well."

Niall points to his arm. "Still can't believe it." 

Louis looks down at his tattoo. It's so fucking lame, he wants to rip off his own arm. 

"You should have stopped me. Or Harry. I'm stubborn, but I mean, it would have been better." 

"No Louis, it really wouldn't have been. You would have like, punched us all." 

Louis chuckles. "Now I regret it."

"You always regret things you do when drunk. That's why you shouldn't get that drunk, bud."

"Shut up Niall." 

Louis looks up to see Harry approaching him with a smile. 

He's wearing a weird patterned shirt. Weirder than usual. 

Why the hell is he coming to Louis now, looking all happy?

Louis grunts once he's now standing next to him. 

"Greetings, Louis."

He furrows his eyebrows. "So you're talking to me now?"

Harry frowns a little, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry I--"

"Save your breath. I'm not one to hold a grudge, whatever. What are you? Yourself like Niall over here?" 

"That's me," Niall smiles widely and Louis pinches him. 

Harry watches before tilting his head a little. "No. I'm...I'm Mick Jagger." 

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Rolling Stones?"

He frowns a little more, nodding slowly. 

Louis giggles a little. "You do remind me of him. The way you dress and all. Really isn't much of a difference."

Harry sucks his lips in, nodding slowly once again. "Yeah." He suddenly looks sad again. And as much as he wants to yell at him to stop doing that, he doesn't.

Louis gives a little smile. "Did I say something wrong?" 

He closes his eyes, forcing out a laugh. "It's stupid." 

"Say it. Whatever you're thinking."

Harry sighs, laughing again. "You told me. That I reminded you of him. And honestly, he is one of my favorite artists," Harry shrugs, "You called me baby Mick." 

Louis finds himself smiling knowing Harry really took what he said to heart, even though he was clearly drunk and doesn't remember a thing. So he lies to make Harry feel a bit better.

"Ah, I do remember calling you that now. You are a baby Mick."

Harry raises his eyebrows. "Where did you call me that?" 

He stops smiling. "Shut up, Harold." 

Harry chuckles a little but stops when Niall starts greeting someone. Mitchell. 

"Hey Mitch!" Niall high fives him. Louis rolls his eyes. Feeling a bit weird knowing their last encounter. 

Mitchell looks between the two of them, meaning Louis and Harry. 

Louis decides to look at them. "Since when are you two so close?" 

"Since when are you two?" Mitchell forces out a small laugh, "Last time you were at each others throats." 

Louis looks up to Harry. Harry is glaring at Mitchell. 

He turns back. "Well, things always change." 

Mitchell nods. "So Louis, want to have a drink together?" He raises his eyebrows. 

"No." Harry snaps before Louis can even open his mouth to speak. He furrows his eyebrows. 

"What do you mean, no?" 

Harry's eyes widen a little, like he didn't even mean to say that out loud. "I mean, I don't want you drinking," he says looking to him, "I don't want you to get drunk." 

Louis laughs, "Alright, mum." 

He drinks more just to annoy Harry. Mitchell gets closer and Harry is completely glaring at him. What the hell is his problem? 

Niall knows what's going on, so he walks to Harry, putting his hand on his thigh. "Come on, lad." 

Harry slowly turns to look at him, then his hand, then back up to Mitchell and Louis. 

He starts walking away, looking angry. 

What is going on through his head? Seriously, what is his problem now?

Mitchell stands next to Louis as he hands him a drink. "Why did he look like he was about to slit someone's throat?" Mitchell asks. 

Louis chuckles a little. "Wish I knew." 

Mitchell smiles at Louis. "So. As we were before?" 

Louis laughs, shaking his head. "You really aren't as innocent as you would think."

He shrugs. "Not necessarily. I'm just as horny as you." He leans closer to Louis' ear. 

Why does Louis start feeling uncomfortable? He almost feels like he doesn't want to get with him anymore, and he has no idea why. 

He just laughs. "Yeah." 

Mitchell goes to walk. "Come on." 

"A-Already?" Louis wants to stall. Why the fuck doesn't he want to? He always wants to. 

He drinks some more. 

"Yeah. Why not now?" 

"Because... I need to pee." Louis stands up, going to go to the bathroom. Maybe he can just hid in there. Mitchell won't wait around forever. 

He gets inside, sitting on the toilet lid. He runs his hands over his face, sighing very loudly. 

He realizes he's tired. So fucking tired. He just wants to get into a soft bed, and sleep. Maybe even Harry's bed. God, it was so fucking warm in there. 

Wait. 

Is it Harry? Is he only thinking about Harry? Is that why he's not turned on by Mitchell? Fuck, it can't be. 

He stands up looking in the mirror. 

Louis hasn't been eating as much as he usually does just because how stressed he's been. He still looks the same. 

His face looks tired, that's for sure. 

He sighs, stepping out of the bathroom to see Harry literally fucking someone on the couch. Well, not really. 

But Harry's on top of the...girl. He's on top of her as she pulls his hair back. He actually whines a little as she pulls. 

Louis gets mad. Does he not realize Louis would fucking make him scream? He sure knows how to pull his hair damn better. 

He mentally smacks himself. 

Okay. Maybe he does want Harry. He'll admit it, he has to. But he can't. He goes to find Mitchell. He's not there. 

What the hell? He looks around, no where to be seen. No one is to be seen. Not Niall, not Zayn or Liam. Only Harry and that fucking girl. He's about to punch his jaw again. 

Louis just sits in the middle of the kitchen floor, pouting. He crosses his arm like a fucking child because he's too lazy to move elsewhere. 

He slides himself so his back is now leaned up against the cabinets. He closes his eyes and easily falls asleep.

He wakes up to someone kicking his feet. Louis' eyes flutter open as he glances up to see Harry standing above him. He tilts his head a little and Louis looks away. 

His hair is literally fucking messy, and you could see a little pink spot on his neck. Louis wants to throw up. 

Harry sits down next to him. "Where's your friend?" 

"Where's yours?" Louis snaps. 

Damn it. He didn't mean to ask that. At all. 

Harry smirks. "My friend?" 

"Shut up." 

Harry laughs. "I didn't even say anything."

"Whatever." 

Louis is pouting again. 

He feels Harry watching him, smiling. "You're clearly not that drunk, but yet you're sitting on the kitchen floor. May I ask why?" 

Louis just shrugs. "I had no one to talk to." 

He feels Harry's arm brush against his own. "You can always talk to me." 

"Yeah, well, not when you're all over another human being." 

Harry laughs. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry. I want to tell you, by the way, your costume is brilliant." 

Louis has to smile a little, finally making eye contact. "I know." 

He can't stay mad at him, especially if it's because of that. Louis is just...Harry horny. That's normal to be jealous, just because he wants him to himself...right?

Harry sighs, leaning his head back but accidentally hitting it too hard. He whines, going to rub the back of it. 

Louis just laughs. "You really need to stop hurting yourself. It's not even your pigeon feet doing all the damage. You seem to have a bird brain, as well." 

Harry laughs along. "Shut up. Not everyone can be as smooth as...Louis the Tommo Tomlinson." 

"So you know." 

Harry is biting his bottom lip and Louis looks down at it. Harry brings his face really close to Louis', where their noses are almost touching. 

"Fuck me." He says. 

Louis' eyes widen. "No." He blurts out too quickly.

What the hell? Why did he say no? Isn't that what he wants? Jesus Christ.

Harry laughs. "Fine."

Louis stares at him. "Y-You need to stop telling me to fuck you." 

But he doesn't want Harry to stop. And he wants to fuck him. 

Harry just shrugs. "Not until you do."

He pulls out a cigarette, lighting it and placing it in his mouth. 

"You disgust me," Louis mumbles. 

Harry looks at him. "Ever kiss someone's mouth who is filled with smoke?" 

Louis' eyes widen. Again. What is Harry doing? 

"No. I don't plan on it, either. Why are you acting like this?" 

Harry smiles a little with the cigarette still placed between his teeth. "No reason."

He looks hot. So fucking hot. Louis wants to turn him around on the kitchen ground and just start--

"I'm just messing with you." 

And there it goes.

"Fuck you."

Harry laughs, shaking his head. 

"You weren't messing that one time at the--"

"Stop. That was a rough night for me, and you were there." Harry says. 

Louis starts getting mad. "A rough night? So you wanted to use me for your own pleasure? Thought I'd fuck all your problems away?" 

Harry frowns, sighing. "Louis, that's not what I--"

"Whatever Harry. Go find another dick to suck." 

Louis stands up, but Harry grabs his ankle. 

"What the hell, you two year old brat, let go of me." Louis tries getting away. 

Harry starts laughing really loudly. And he can't stop. Nothing's even funny. 

"Two year old brat," he breathes out, still holding on.

Louis chuckles a little, but forces himself to stop immediately. He harshly pulls away, leaving Harry to look up at him. 

"Fuck you, Harry." Louis walks off but again, once a-fucking-gain, Harry is grabbing at his wrist. 

He turns around rolling his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Lou. There are things I should say to explain why I am the way I am. It'd make sense to you then. I know I seem like a complete ass, but I'm not. I just don't want you to think...that I think any different of you. I don't know how to word it," he sighs, running his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry." 

Louis is confused. But he just nods slowly, not knowing if what Harry said is supposed to be good or bad. He decides to be an ass anyways. "Fine. I'll let you go find someone else to use for the night, then." 

He pulls away from his grip, walking away, but really not knowing where to go. So he just leaves the house completely.

 


	17. XVII

Louis is about to walk out the door when he hears Harry's voice once again. 

"Look, Lou, I'm sorry. I can't explain it." 

He turns around to face him. Harry looks panicked. Why is he getting so nervous?

"What do you mean, you can't explain it?" 

"Like..." he runs his hand through his hair, sighing. "I don't know." 

Louis remembers what Zayn said. How Harry doesn't open up to anyone. Maybe he can open up to Louis. Louis just needs to stop being stubborn himself. 

"You can talk to me," Louis says as gently as he can manage. 

Harry's mouth opens to say something, but closes quickly. 

"Louis!" 

He looks to see Niall running over to them, his arm around Mitchell. "Sorry I stole him, he had to help me out with a game." Niall winks and Louis honestly doesn't care what he's talking about, or bothers asking. 

He nods, looking at Mitchell who is now looking at Louis. Oh shit. Oh right, he's supposed to be fucking him. 

"Alright, Harry and I will leave you two alone." Niall says and Harry moves a little. 

"No. Louis and I were just leaving," Harry snaps going towards Louis, opening the door, "Come on, Lou." 

Louis wants to hesitate. He wants to so badly. But he just waves quickly before exiting. He also doesn't know why he went along with it. Or why Harry made that up? They weren't going to leave together. 

He sighs as Harry starts walking. "Where are we going?" 

Harry slows down, making a confused face. "I don't know." 

Louis laughs. "Why did you do that?" 

He shrugs. "I can get jealous too." 

Louis almost pukes. Jealous? Harry's jealous? What does he mean, too? 

"What in God's name do you mean too by?" 

Harry chuckles. He lifts out his neck, pointing to his hickey. Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Oh please, I'm not jealous of a girl sucking onto your skin." 

"Then why were you pouting on the ground?" Harry's smirking. 

"I wasn't. I simply had no one to talk to."

"Then why were you so snappy when I came to talk--"

"Shut up. Just shut the hell up," Louis runs his hand over his face quickly before looking to the ground.

Harry just laughs quietly to himself. They continue walking in silence, not even knowing where they are going. 

"We probably had the best costumes in there." 

Louis looks up to Harry who is smiling to himself. 

"More like I did. Mine is very original." Louis shrugs.

"Mine was pretty clever too. No one knew, honestly, but you and I." 

Louis smiles a little. "You cook, right?" 

"Uh, I can."

"Want to go to my place? You can make me some sandwiches?" 

"I guess." 

Louis nods approvingly before they start walking to get to his room. 

They walk in silence, and it's not that awkward. This is one of the first times Louis isn't really drunk. Just a bit tipsy, nothing bad though. 

They reach the apartment, Louis leading the way in. 

He kicks off his shoes, plopping onto the couch. "You can search around, make any sandwiches you'd like. Just don't spill anything again, because I won't be helping you pick up anything."

Harry just forces out a quiet laugh before heading into the kitchen.

Louis turns on the telly, looking at all the Halloween movies on. Nightmare On Elm Street is on, so Louis keeps it. 

Soon, Harry comes back with a plate filled with sandwiches. They are cut into nice little squares. Turkey sandwiches. There's even some fruit in the middle of it all. 

Louis smiles as Harry places the plate down, sitting next to him. 

"Would you look at that." 

Louis gets his sandwich, eating it. 

Harry just picks at some of the fruit. 

"Why are we watching this?" He says quietly. 

Louis glances over at him. His knees are up to his chest as he hugs them. He actually looks scared. So Louis laughs.

"It's Halloween. Harry, are you actually scared of some horror movie?" 

Harry looks over at him, furrowing his eyebrows. "No." 

That's a lie. Because as the scene gets more intense, more gory, Harry jumps and is actually covering his eyes. 

Louis doesn't even watch the movie, he just watches Harry because it actually is extremely fucking cute of how scared he is. 

"Didn't know you would be scared of a film." 

Harry uncovers his eyes a little, trying to peak through. "I'm not scared." 

"Uncover your eyes." 

"No. The screen is just too bright, at the moment." 

Louis finds himself laughing. "The screen is too bright?"

"Yeah." 

He shakes his head. "I can turn it off, if you want me to."

"Oh no. I'm enjoying the movie." 

"You can't even see it," Louis starts laughing again. Harry then starts giggling himself. 

"Fine. I don't like horror movies."

"Oh, really?" 

Harry uncovers his face completely, looking at Louis.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving break?" 

Louis scoots himself down a little more on the couch. He has to go back to visit his family, which he really isn't looking forward to. He has to tell his mom once again how he doesn't have a job. Then she'll keep complaining about the money. 

"My family. Back to Doncaster." 

Harry nods. "I head back to Holmes Chapel." 

"You're from Holmes Chapel? One of me best mate's moved to around there." Louis says. It was Cole. His very best mate moved. Louis likes to think it was because of him being gay. That Cole's dad needed to get away from him. But it wasn't. It's just easier to think that way. 

"Yeah. It's nice."

"You see your family?" 

Harry shrugs. "My mum and stepdad."

"What about your sister?" 

"She doesn't hang around us. It's just me and my parents," Harry frowns a little. Louis doesn't ask anymore about his sister because he can tell it's not a good subject. 

"So, your mum remarried. What about your birth dad?"

"He lives in America, now. Don't see him that much. We ring every now and then. They just divorced because they married too young, weren't really in love. They got pregnant with me before they were married. I actually was at their wedding. I didn't know what was going on, me being like 4 months old and all, but yeah. They really only got married because of me." 

Louis nods. He wonders if Harry is close with his mum. 

"How's your relationship with your mum and stepdad?"

"Good," Harry says nodding. He starts smiling, "Great. I've always been close with my mum. My stepdad is amazing, as well." 

Louis finds himself smiling along with him. "Very good." 

Harry looks up to Louis. "And your family?" 

Louis shrugs. "Not much to tell." 

Louis feels like he should talk to Harry. Maybe he should. But he hates the topic about his own. Everything...everything is so fucked up.

"You live with your mum and dad?" Harry asks quietly, tilting his head a little. 

Louis closes his eyes, sighing loudly. "Don't speak of my family. Sorry." 

Harry frowns a little. "I understand." 

He wants to hide. Every time someone asks him about his family, he just wants to go somewhere and hide. Stay there forever. 

He knows Harry would listen. He seems like such a good fucking listener. But Louis can't talk to him about it. He'd probably leave.

"You realize you left your house while there is a huge Halloween party going on?" Louis changes the subject. 

Harry shrugs. "I don't mind. I am not the only one to live there. The others will probably kick everyone out once they are home." He looks a little shy about saying that out loud, but he does it anyways. 

"Can we talk about that, Harry? I'm so curious about who live with you...I mean, do they seriously hurt you?" 

Harry laughs a little. "No, Louis. They don't hurt me."

Is he lying? Louis can't tell. It doesn't seem like it. "Then who are they?"

Harry takes a quiet deep breath. "Nick and Vincent. They're my stepbrothers." 

Louis nods. "Stepbrothers?"

"Yeah. They are twins. Identical twins. We pay for the house together." 

"And they don't hurt you?" Louis asks gently. 

Harry looks at him laughing a little. "No, Louis. They don't hurt me. I'm not living the life of Cinderella with two evil stepbrothers." 

Louis doesn't laugh at Harry's little joke. He just frowns. "But that guy with the cigarette..." 

"You really remember that?" Harry asks putting his feet up on the table, crossing them. 

"How could I not? Harry, he took the freaking cigarette from your mouth, running it on your arm...and you didn't even look hurt." 

Harry chews on his bottom lip. "He really isn't anyone I talk to, normally. I've got with him a few times. I just got with his sister. He was pissed at me and I had to act like I didn't care when he yelled. So he did that." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "Jesus Harry, don't get so bloody offended, but why are you always sleeping with people? I mean, I do too, but not every single night. I don't even remember the last time I sucked a real cock." 

Harry's eyes widen a little at Louis' last choice of words, but they quickly soften. He frowns a little, mumbling something. Louis can't hear him. 

"What'd you say? Speak up." 

He sighs, looking down at his hands, playing with his rings. "I can't sleep alone." 

Louis drops his shoulders. Is that a bad thing for Harry? 

"Why?" 

Harry looks up, putting on a fake smile. "I've been talking a whole lot, haven't I?"

"I don't care, I like listening." Louis says sternly and Harry gulps.

"Yeah, well I don't like talking. I don't even know why I did so much now," Harry's standing now. He starts pacing back and forth.

Louis can be a good person. So that's what he tries to do. Make sure Harry knows he could care. 

"Harry, I think we both could use a friend. You can talk to me, if you don't really talk to anyone else about certain things. I'm a good listener. I might seem like a judgmental bitch, but I'm not. I just want everyone happy...especially if it's you." 

He doesn't know why he said the last bit. But it felt necessary. Like Harry needs to know that.

Harry stares at him, mouth open a little. He doesn't know what to do, clearly. 

"Whatever." 

Harry falls back on the couch. Louis laughs.

"Whatever?" 

"Yeah. I'm tired." 

Louis watches him. Harry actually just told him he can't sleep alone. So he decides to be nice. "You want to sleep in my bed? I'll be in there a little, I'm just going to stay up a little longer, then I can join you."

Harry looks like he's about to cry.

"Thank you," he says weakly, shaking his head, "Thank you."

He stands up walking into Louis' bedroom.

He doesn't know what's going on or why he can't sleep alone, but he doesn't want to question it yet. He realizes Harry opened up to him so much in just one night...nothing he thought would ever come upon.

Harry seems like such a good person, really, he does. Louis knows there is much more to him as well that makes him even better. And he really wants to find that out.

He really doesn't deserve to be unhappy. And now, all Louis wants is to be the reason for Harry's happiness, and he doesn't know why.

Maybe the view of Harry's radiating smile being caused by him is just all he needs to see in his life. Maybe Harry's happiness can be Louis' happiness.

Because honestly, deep down, when Harry smiles Louis can almost feel himself being lifted into another world. Somewhere happy.

Louis turns off the telly in a little, turning off some lights before going into his bedroom. Harry is lying on his back. He looks like he has been crying and Louis wants to start crying. What happened?

Louis sadly crawls into bed next to him, putting his head onto a pillow looking up to him.

"What's wrong?" He asks as soft as he can manage.

Harry closes his eyes. "Nothing. Goodnight, Louis."

He turns his back to him, not saying another word.

Louis is frowning, staring at Harry's back. He reaches up, rubbing Harry's back slowly. He hears a soft little sob, practically feeling his heart break.

He doesn't know why he's crying, and he knows he won't tell him, so he doesn't ask. He just keeps rubbing his back, trying to block out the small little cries Harry lets out once every while. 


	18. XVIII

Louis' eyes flutter open when he feels heavy weight around his stomach. He looks down at see Harry's arm wrapped around him tightly, like so tightly it's hard for him to breathe. Harry's face is nuzzled on the side of his waist, his head facing the mattress. 

Louis doesn't remember getting in this position or this close to Harry. He gets a little uncomfortable, but decides against it. He just looks down at Harry, which all he can see is his messy hair. He rests his head back, trying to breathe. Where he barely can because Harry's grip on his waist is going to fucking kill him. 

Okay. Normally Louis would let him sleep, especially because he was crying. But he can't because he is actually about to die. He doesn't know how to wake people up. So hesitantly hits the back of Harry's head.

He moves a little, groaning. But still not letting go of his waist. 

"Damn it," Louis mumbles. He takes a deep breath. 

"Harry, wake up." 

Nothing. 

He grabs Harry's arm, trying to pull it off but Harry is literally gripping onto him like a sloth or something.

"What the hell?" 

He squirms under Harry's body, deciding to try and slip away. He manages to, thankfully. He stumbles out of bed, walking into the kitchen. 

Liam is sitting at the kitchen table reading something. 

He raises his eyebrows as Louis walks in. 

"Didn't realize you and Harry are close now." 

Louis shrugs. "It was a rough night for him. I'm being a friend. There's nothing going on between us, like you and Zayn. So pipe down." 

He laughs. "I'm glad. You're a good person, Lou. You always have been like that." 

Louis shrugs. "People deserve to be happy."

"As do you." Liam looks at him a little sad. He rolls his eyes.

"Please, I'm fine." 

Liam makes a little frown. "So what happened?" 

"Nothing to speak about." 

"That's good?" Liam asks, probably seeing if Harry did talk to him about things. Which he did. Louis just nods. 

He hears feet and he looks behind him to see a sleepy Harry. His eyes look like they are barely open, his hair is a mess, his weird shirt is all over the place. But he looks disgustingly adorable. 

"Morning sunshine," Louis says cheerfully. 

And he doesn't smile. He doesn't do anything. He just stares. 

"Earth to Harry?" Louis says. 

Still nothing. He looks so broken and it clicks. Louis walks over, grabbing his arm and walking him into the living room for some privacy. 

Harry is pulled by him and he still looks so upset. "What's wrong?" 

"I want to go home." 

"Alright, I can walk you to--"

"No. I want to go home." 

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "Harry--"

"I want to go back to Holmes Chapel." 

He flutters his eyes. What? Why the hell would he want to do that?

"What do you--"

"I'm going back. I'll be back after Thanksgiving."

"Harry, we still have like three weeks of school left until the Thanksgiving break?" Louis is starting to get panicked. What the hell happened?

"I don't care. I'll live. I'm going home. Like now," Harry spins around but Louis grabs his arms spinning him back around. Harry's eyes are wide.

"You can last three weeks before break. Your grades are going to go down so badly."

"I'm a straight A student as of now. I'll just say something personal happened. I'll figure something out," he mumbles. 

"Harry--"

"No. I'm going." 

"What happened?" Louis breathes out, "What the hell happened? You were crying. Why were you--"

"Fuck off," Harry snaps pulling away from his touch, Louis didn't even realize he was still holding onto him. And just like that Harry storms out of the door. 

Louis thinks he's going to break down. Something is obviously really wrong with Harry. Louis has never seen somebody act like this and he has no idea what to do. He wants to help him so fucking badly. 

He storms into the kitchen. "Something is really fucking wrong with him and I don't know what to do about it." He is breathing heavily. Liam stands up. 

"What?" 

"He...he was fucking crying last night and I have no idea why. He told me he doesn't like to sleep alone...and...and I don't know what the hell do to do help him. But I need to help it, God damn it, Liam. What do I do?" 

"You--"

"He said he's going back to Holmes Chapel now until Thanksgiving break is over. That's missing too much of school. He can't do that to himself."

"Jesus, Louis. What happened?" 

"Nothing! Nothing, he just fucking talked. Then he cried. So I don't know."

"Did he open up?" 

"I think. I mean, yeah."

"He's probably scared." 

"Zayn told me he never does. So I know this must be weird for him, but he doesn't have to go all the way back home this early. It's not like I was mean! I was super fucking nice." 

Liam laughs a little. "Go talk to him again." 

"I will," Louis sighs. "I'm changing."

He walks into his bedroom, hurrying out of his stupid Halloween costume before changing into sweats and a hoodie. He brushes his hair quickly, then messes around with it. 

"See you," Louis calls before slipping out the door.

He hates walking everywhere, but he never asks Liam to use his car. He feels bad. 

It takes a while for Louis to get there. It's like a ten minute walk. But he manages to do it. 

He knocks on the door. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing. 

"Harry," he shouts, hoping to get an answer. Still nothing. 

He hates to do this, but he turns at the knob. It's open. He peaks his head in, looking around. The house is a mess from the party. Louis sighs. Does Harry always have to clean this up on his own? Does his stepbrothers help? 

He walks in, closing the door behind him. He feels his heart beating super fast. 

"Harry?" He calls quietly. 

He walks in farther, going to get in his bedroom. He walks in the bedroom, looking around. Soon a door in the bedroom flies open, revealing the bathroom and Harry. He has a towel wrapped around his waist, a small one he uses to dry his hair. 

Louis' eyes widen. 

Harry's stomach has a huge fucking bruise on his rib. It's faded, but you can still see it. There are some other scratches on his body, other small bruises surrounded the huge one. 

He just stares. He was planning on speaking, but he doesn't know what to fucking say now.

Harry finishes his hair and looks up to see Louis. He gets mad. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He shouts, backing into the bathroom again to try and hide. 

Louis opens his mouth but no words come out. 

"Louis!" He shouts again. He sounds furious. 

"H-Harry...what are those marks on your body from?" 

"Jesus Christ, will you just fuck off? I don't want you here, I'm going home." He's yelling. He's so pissed. 

Louis is about to cry. 

"Harry," Louis croaks out. His voice fucking cracks. He can't let Harry see him cry. 

"Leave, damn it!" 

Louis takes a deep breath, walking over. Harry's still in his towel around his waist. His eyes darken as he sees him. 

"Those marks on your body, including the scar on your forehead, what are they from?" 

Harry glares before storming past him. He grabs clothes from his dresser, getting out of the bedroom.

Louis goes to follow. He looks for Harry. 

He goes in the kitchen where he's now dressed, hair still soaking wet. 

"Get out of my house." 

"Harry, do you not get what I'm doing? I'm literally fucking here for you. I want to talk to you. I know something's really fucking messed up in your head, something's really making you--"

Louis' eyes widen when Harry is coming towards him. He places his hands on Louis' chest. He shoves him, fucking slams him into a wall. "Stop!" He pulls Louis forward a little, before shoving him right back into the wall, harder. "Just shut the fuck up already!"

Harry's furious. He's looking down at Louis like he's about to kill him. And Louis is basically shaking. He's actually scared. 

He must notice how scared Louis is though because his face immediately drops. He looks so terrified. 

He lets go quickly, stepping back. He covers his face. "I'm so fucking sorry, Lou."

Louis just stares at him, not knowing what to do or say. 

"I don't know what else to say besides you know I'm here and I just want to talk. I want to try to make you happy." 

"That's it, Louis. I can't be happy. The story behind all of this, Jesus Christ." He stops talking. He's about to cry again. "I'm begging you, please Louis, just leave."

Louis wants to stay so badly. He wants to hug him and tell him everything will be alright. He just sighs, nodding.

"If that's what is going to make you happy at the moment, fine. Just...don't go back home yet. Wait until break." He's shaky as he talks, but he gets it out. He turns to walk out of Harry's house. 

He hopes Harry will stop him, ask him to sit down so he can talk. But he doesn't say a word and he doesn't look back. He just walks out, praying that someday Harry will tell him. And that one day Harry will be okay. 


	19. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes i know people in the uk don't celebrate thanksgiving, but lets just pretend in this story they do

It's Monday and Harry isn't at school. He really did go back to Holmes Chapel for the next three weeks or so. Louis really doesn't understand what the hell happened?

He especially can't get the sight of Harry's body out of his mind. There were faded bruises and scratches everywhere. What happened to him? How did all of that happen to him? 

It had to be pretty bad, from what he saw. They look faded, he can only imagine how they were before. Or how they were caused. Louis wants to throw up. He can't stand the thought of Harry being in pain. 

He thinks back to the guy with the cigarette. Harry seemed numb to the pain. Louis starts to think if he's incapable of being physically hurt. He also tries to think about when he hit him. He didn't really seem hurt, he supposes. Just pissed off. 

Louis feels like shit. He wants to cry just thinking about what could possibly be going on in his head. 

"So Harry's gone for the while?" Niall asks as they walk to classes. 

He shrugs. "Yeah." 

"What'd you do to him?" 

"Jesus Christ, nothing. Fuck you, really Niall. I'm not a bad person. I was extremely nice that entire night. We talked and everything." 

"Well, sorry. You sure everything is fine between you two? There's no reason he left because of you?" 

"I hope not. I didn't do anything rude. I'm serious," Louis says sternly and Niall nods.

"No, I believe you. It's just weird. I don't know. Zayn said he has no clue." 

He sighs, running his hand over his face. "I'll see you." 

He walks into his classroom, falling into a seat. He won't be able to focus today, he already knows it. Or for the rest of the time that Harry is gone. 

He takes out his phone, going to Harry's name. 

He hesitates, but decides to text him. 

_Missin your pretty arse on campus.._

He sends it, putting his phone back in his pocket. Maybe that can get him to smile. Or come back sooner.

Holmes Chapel is about two hours away from here, so it's a pretty long ride. 

He wonders if Harry likes being alone on that long ride. Louis knows he fucking hated driving back to Doncaster alone. Well, maybe he hated it because of the thought of where he was actually going. 

Louis starts thinking maybe if he opens up to Harry, he can open up to him about whatever happened. 

It just sucks. The story of his dad. He hates speaking of it. 

He hates the thought about who his dad was. But he still misses him, even though he shouldn't. 

Louis bites on his pencil, hoping for his phone to vibrate. But it never does.

...

"Harry's still not going to come back before break now, is he?" Liam asks as they walk to campus. 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Clearly not." 

It's been a week. 

Still no sign back from Harry. 

Louis has been texting him like once a day. Just sending him small texts like, _Liam made sandwiches. Weren't as good as yours_ or _Zayn and Liam are disgusting and Niall is annoying. Wish u were here_

He doesn't reply and Louis wonders why. Maybe he is mad at him for whatever reason. Louis just wishes he knew what. 

"That's so weird, though. Honestly." Liam says as they approach Zayn and Niall. 

Louis doesn't say anymore as he sits down right next to Niall.

He looks down at Niall's phone. He's playing Bingo. 

"Seriously, Niall?" 

He doesn't look up. "What? It's actually a pretty addicting game. After watching Harry play, I had to." 

Louis rolls his eyes. He wonders if Harry is sitting back home, playing Bingo all by himself. He wonders if his family keeps him a lot of company. 

Maybe Harry actually just started to miss them after talking about them? That's always a possibility on why he needed to get home so quickly. Louis just hopes it wasn't because of him. 

The weeks go by very slow, still no sign from Harry. Louis eventually stops texting him, knowing he won't reply. 

He's waiting for his mum to come get him. Thanksgiving break just started, and Louis is somewhat happy. Not about the going home part. But when he comes back, Harry then will be back as well. 

He doesn't know if he should talk to him or not. He doesn't know if he's going to act weird or what. 

Louis' head is pounding because the lads and him got very drunk last night at their friendsgiving. It was so lame, honestly. Niall and him just ended up being alone, watching Charlie Brown. 

His mum pulls up and he sighs, bringing his bag and him into the seat. 

She smiles lightly. "Hi sweetie." 

He returns the favor. "Mum." 

"How has school been?" She asks pulling out and onto the road again. 

"It was alright. I have this new friend," Louis starts. He didn't even mean to mention Harry. He was just on his mind, like always. Sort of slipped out. He could talk about him for ages though, to be honest. 

"Fun. Glad you have someone else. Is he a good friend?" 

Louis knows she's referring back to Liam, and probably Cole. But Cole has been out of his life for a while, now. 

"Yeah. He's perfect." Louis shrugs. 

His mum chuckles a little. "More than a friend?" 

He rolls his eyes. "No." 

He hates talking to his mum about that stuff. Like, she's not homophobic or anything. She doesn't care Louis' gay. It's just a bit awkward after everything with his dad, he supposes. 

"Sorry. The girls are good. I think I'm doing better." She says quietly.

Louis looks at her. He knows she's trying. "I'm glad. Are they excited for Thanksgiving?" 

"More than you could ever guess." 

Louis smiles a little. They don't talk the rest of the long car ride.

...

"Louis," the twins run up to him giving a big hug. 

He bends down, wrapping them both in his arms. "My little ones." 

"I can't wait for turkey tonight," Phoebe smiles, "Deo's cooking now!" 

"Deo? He's here?" Louis stands up wide eyed. He looks to his mum who sighs.

"Sorry I forgot to tell you." 

He wants to scream and actually throw a tantrum. 

Deo is his mum's boyfriend. He's a complete dick. Well, to Louis at least. He hasn't seen him in over a year. During the summer, Louis made sure to never be around when he was.

Deo walks out of the kitchen, looking at Louis. "Happy thanksgiving." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "If only it was." 

"Louis," his mum snaps. 

He storms past them, going into the fridge and grabbing three beers. He goes into his room. He feels bad leaving the twins alone, but he can't be around Deo.

When him and his mum first got together, it was his last year in high school. They were fine at first. No problems. But one day he was sitting at his kitchen table when he walked in. He mentioned his dad. He apologized for him. Then he asked if it was okay if Louis didn't bring any boyfriends when he's around. He said he didn't mind that he was gay, he just didn't want to see anything. 

Well, Louis got beyond pissed, started yelling. And Deo fucking hit him. 

He never told his mum or anyone, and Deo didn't either. So his mum doesn't understand why Louis hates him so much. He feels bad for her, and he's nice to her, so he doesn't let his gayness ruin something again.

Louis drinks his beers, sitting on his floor. His mind goes back to Harry. He wonders if he's enjoying himself now.

He just sits there, thinking and thinking. He lets the smell of the dinner fill his nose. 

There's a small knock on his door and Daisy pops her head in. 

"Louis..." 

He stands up quickly, pushing the beers away before stumbling on his feet. "Me coming." 

He walks out. He's drunk, and he's fucked. 

He hates getting drunk in front of the girls, but he can't help it. He didn't even realize it. He hasn't been home in a bit. He usually doesn't do this. But he had to because of Deo. 

He puts his hand on Daisy's back as they walk to the kitchen. Dinner's on the table. 

His mum is mad and Deo looks the same as always. 

"Louis, are you drunk? Deo asks smirking a little. Louis gives a glare before sitting down. 

"No." 

Why would he ask that in front of the twins? He's pissed. 

"Okay, well Louis, make the girls' plates."

Louis nods, getting all of the food together for them. He sits in the middle of both of them. They smile at him the entire time. 

"So, Louis, how's college been to you?" Deo asks as his and his mum sit across. 

"Fine." 

Louis drops his fork as he goes to pick it up. He sighs, picking it back up. His mum is staring at him worriedly. 

"Louis has a new friend," his mum says emphasizing on the word friend. 

He wants to scream. 

"Mum. I told you, he's just a friend." 

"You seemed to be interested on the topic though, darling." 

He rolls his eyes. 

"Louis, you can tell us." Deo smiles. 

Louis stands up. "You know I don't like being around him. Mum, why'd you do this? I don't come in that often." 

She looks up at him shocked. "Louis--"

"No, shut up. You always do this to me. You can never pick my side."

He doesn't know what he's rambling about. He really doesn't. He's drunk and hurt. He hates it here. 

"Louis, stop it." 

He looks down to Phoebe who is frowning. Fuck, he just screamed in front of them again. It sucks having two little sisters, him being so old and all.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. 

He looks back at his mum. "I'm disappointed in you," she says quietly, "You are ending up like your father. I can tell. You're drinking way too much." 

Louis is going to throw up. He barely got two bites from his dinner. He stares between the two of them before he storms off. He walks out of the house, going off into his old tree house. 

He climbs up, getting in and laying on his back immediately. 

His mum literally just called Louis his dad. He wants to cry. He wants to die, actually. 

He can't be like his dad. He knows he's been getting like him, but no. He won't admit it.

He's so disappointed in having that conversation in front of the girls. He is disappointed in himself for getting drunk. But once again, he had to. He couldn't eat with Deo there sober. 

He doesn't even know why he has to get drunk every time he has to talk to people he doesn't like, or go out with a lot of people, or he's just scared of something. He feels like being drunk and doing something stupid won't be as bad as sober just because he could blame his stupidity on being drunk. 

Louis hates it. He doesn't mean to. He really doesn't. 

He's crying. He's actually crying. And he doesn't mean to, but he grabs out his phone. Calling Harry. 

It rings and it goes to voicemail, which really isn't surprising. But he talks. 

"I don't know why you're still ignoring me. We're going to be seeing each other soon. On Monday. So, I mean, you have to start talking to me again. I don't even know what the hell happened. Anyways, I have no one to talk to right now. I'm in my tree house. I left in the middle of the dinner. My mum's ass of a boyfriend is here. She didn't even tell me. I got drunk and yelled in front of the girls. Then my mum told me I'm like my dad. My dad. That's the worst thing you could ever call me. I'm so fucking pissed, Harry," he chokes out a laugh shaking his head, "Well, anyways. My life sucks. And surprisingly, you make it interesting. I'm happy with you, I guess you can say. And Jesus Christ, I want to know all about you. I want you to be able to talk to me. So maybe you will after I talk to you about me? I really don't do that, either. So if I do end up telling you things, you're sure a lucky man. And I'd be even more lucky if you stopped fucking ignoring me when I do nothing wrong. Well, Harry, I hope you fucking talk to me, because now I need to talk. Maybe you can be my friend." 

He hangs up quickly. He couldn't stop talking. He didn't even mean to say all of that. Jesus Christ, now Harry's going to think he's obsessive and weird. 

God smacks his hands on his face, wiping the tears. Louis is pathetic. He knows he is, and he hates it. He hates it so much. 

At times like this is when he misses Cole. He always knew what to do. Yeah, Liam is amazing, but Cole just knew him. Even though they were young, he's still Louis' best friend he's had so far.

His phone is vibrating and he glances at it. Harry's name pops up. His head is literally out of his chest. He's shaky but he forces himself to answer, even though he's too scared to.

He answers but doesn't say anything. 

"Louis? Are you alright?" 

He still doesn't say anything. He just sighs loudly. 

"Little old me could be doing better." 

The line is silent a little. "What's wrong with your dad?" 

He closes his eyes. "Okay, I don't like talking about him. So I want to talk about him over the phone, just so I can't see your face. Alright?" 

Louis decides this is the best idea. Maybe he can talk to Harry about everything, and act like he's just talking to himself or something. He doesn't have to worry about him staring at him all weird or whatever. He's going to force himself to talk about it. He hasn't in a while. 

"Um, yeah. Whatever you want, Lou."

He takes a deep breath, closing your eyes. "My dad used to always drink. Proper alcoholic, no specific reason behind it. He was a real arse. He only cared about my mum. He was always just disappointed in me. Everything I did there was an issue. Like when I put on my shoes, he thought it was dumb how I would put on a sock then a shoe, then my other sock and my other shoe. He said it's dumb to carry a backpack around when I could just carry my books and gain some arm muscle because I needed it. He said how he hated my hair down, that I looked like a complete faggot," Louis laughs shaking his head, "But I mean, I am a faggot! He always knew deep down. But when I told him, he got so pissed.

"He drank more. Always would tell my mum he hates me. When she worked later on some nights, he wouldn't feed me dinner. There was one night my mum and him got in this huge fight, though. Yeah, I brought home my friend Cole in middle school. He was my best mate. But since I came out, my dad thought we were a thing. He was disgusted. He was yelling at my mum, telling her he doesn't want this pathetic boy as his son. He said he wanted somebody better. Someone who can make him proud, because I had nothing to give, apparently. 

"I just cried as Cole let me. He was always there for me, until his dad found out I was gay. Then he banned him from ever seeing me again. So I was completely alone. My dad's drinking got worst. I'd just sit in my room. He wouldn't talk to me. I remember this one night, I was sleeping. You know, fifteen year old me in me bed. I woke up to him actually hitting me with a fucking belt. He was screaming at me to get out of bed. He was beyond drunk. My mum wasn't home. So I got up and he made me clean up the drinks he spilled. I don't know. It fucking sucked. 

"A couple months later though, my dad did get a liver disease. He passed away, thankfully. I hate saying that, but I'm glad he's dead. But I also...miss him? I know, I know I shouldn't. But he was my dad, even though he's probably the worst you can get...I don't know. I don't know how a real dad is supposed to feel. My mum later told me she always thought he was gay. That he hated me for being gay, and being able to express myself. Which I can't believe, but my mum said I reminded her of him in ways like that. So, maybe that is why my dad hated me so much. We'll never know."

Louis lets out one last shaky breath, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

He doesn't say anything more, and Harry doesn't speak either. He doesn't even want to see his face right now.

"Louis," he whispers so soft, so gently. He sounds hurt.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright now. It just sucks to think about it all, you know?"

"Nothing about that will ever be okay, Lou. You...you deserve nothing but good in your life. How could somebody...how could your own father be so cruel to someone like you?"

"He hated me."

"No," Harry snaps, "No. That's not right."

He sounds mad now. Why?

"Harry-"

"I can't believe this happened to you. Jesus Christ, I swear Louis, if I'd known you back then I literally would have killed him myself. Why the hell would your own dad be so fucking horrible to you? I can't..." he's breathing heavily, letting out a deep breath.

"I'm okay, Harry," he laughs out shakily.

"No you aren't. You just aren't okay after that, no matter how long ago it was."

He's right. Louis sighs. "I'm sorry for telling you all of-"

"No. No, Louis. I'm sorry that this has happened to you."

He lets out another deep breath. "Well, I should get back to dinner. Thank you for letting me talk to you. I mean, I know you were busy ignoring me-"

"Please Louis," he breathes out, "Don't say that. I'm sorry I'm such a shit...I just...it's a lot to explain. But it's not you, it never is. It's me. And I'm sorry about that Saturday morning. I'm really sorry. I won't ever do that again. I'm just...sorry."

And the line ends.

Louis starts crying all over again. 


	20. XX

Louis needs to stop. He's here to see the girls. Not to cry about his mum just calling him his father. He's nothing like his father. He might get drunk a lot, but he doesn't act the way he did. Ever. He'd never be as cruel as him. 

He climbs himself down, walking back to the table. The girls are now sitting next to each other, and his Nona is here now. She's eating some pie with them. He doesn't know where his mum or Deo is, but he doesn't care. 

"Nona," Louis smiles and she glances up along with the girls. They all smile at him, to his surprise. 

"Lou boo, come here," she smiles and Louis walks over, kissing her on the cheek before giving her a big hug. Louis told his Nona what Deo said. He didn't tell him he hit him, though. 

"It's okay. I know you don't like him and I know it's hard. It's especially hard because your mum has no idea, sweetheart." 

Louis sighs. "I know, I know. I just...don't want her to feel the need to break up with him just because he might be homophobic. Not her fault her son's gay." 

Nona laughs, running her hand through Daisy then Phoebe's hair. "We all are people, just living life different. Nothing is wrong with you." 

He smiles. "Missed ya." 

"Louis breath smells," Phoebe says giggling and Daisy joins.

"Adult drinks are very stinky and gross, that's why you girls don't drink it. You both have lovely breath," Louis says and they laugh more. 

"Why don't we play some board games?" Nona asks and Louis nods, going to grab the best games.

...

It's midnight when Louis' phone goes off. He was sleeping but he fell asleep with his phone on his chest, so it scares the hell out of him. 

His eyes widen when he sees Harry's name come across. He sits up straight, opening the text. 

_When are you coming home?_

He tilts his head a little. 

_Sunday. Why?_

That's weird. Does Harry finally want to see him? 

He falls back asleep hearing nothing back. 

Louis wakes up not long after being woken by Harry's text. Fucking Phoebe and Daisy thought it'd be hilarious to come sprinting and jumping on his bed at seven in the morning. 

They cuddle into him and he just laughs. "Stinkers, that's what you girls are." 

"We miss you." 

"I miss you too. But you did see me all summer, wasn't that amazing?" 

"Are you going to do that again? It was so much fun." 

He sighs. He doesn't know. One more year left in college before he really starts living a boring life. His life is boring now. He can't even imagine it with a job. He wants to cry. 

"I'll have to see. Louis is getting so old, I'm already growing some grey hair." 

They laugh and he smiles along with them. 

"Mum is making breakfast." 

He sighs. "Alright. Let's get up." 

They hurry out and Louis gets up with his pajama pants and messy hair. 

He's running his hand through his hair when he approaches his mum. 

She smiles at him. "Hey, darling."

"I'm sorry," he breathes out. 

She looks at him frowning. "I know. Me too. I should have told you he was coming. I know you don't like him, but you know I do. Just thought it wouldn't be that bad. And I'm sorry for mentioning your dad." 

He nods. "Yeah. Yeah, it's fine." 

"Are we okay?" 

Louis nods, sitting down at the table. 

"Your birthday is just around the corner."

"Sadly." 

"The girls can't wait. They have a big surprise ready." 

"Dear Lord," Louis laughs shaking his head. Soon enough the girls come running in dressed in new clothes. 

"I love pancakes," Daisy smiles.

"Me too!" Phoebe agrees. 

"I mean, who doesn't like pancakes?" Louis smiles. 

"Pancake haters." 

He forces a laugh to make sure Daisy is satisfied with her common joke. 

"Can you take us bowling today?" Phoebe asks and Louis nods. 

"Sure. Why bowling?" 

"We haven't done it yet."

"Well, you girls will be great. I can take you tonight." 

They get excited and Louis just watches with a smile. 

Louis' mum usually kept the girls with Nona when they were babies. They were about two when dad died. 

Louis told his mum to not let them anywhere near him. He didn't even care, sadly. 

He decides to give them the biggest hug he can for no reason, giving noogies and making them die of laughter, which is a good feeling. 

...

"Louis how I've missed you!" Liam smiles the second he walks in the door. 

It's seven at night and he's finally home. He still hasn't heard anything from Harry, which is really confusing to him. 

"I wish I could say the same."

"Shut up," he laughs hugging him, "How was your short break?" 

"Could have been better. But fine. Yours?"

Liam frowns a little. "Fine. I...I couldn't tell my parents about Zayn. Like, I know they won't judge me, at all. I just feel all weird, you know? It's so random now." 

Louis shrugs. "You're a college man. Therefore, meaning, college can really change a man." 

He laughs, shaking his head. "That is very true." 

"I know. Does Zayn's parents know about you?"

"Yeah. They want to meet me sometime over Christmas break." 

"You guys really are serious. That's awesome," Louis sits down on the couch. 

"I mean, yeah. I do really like him." Liam sits down next to him. 

"You love him?" 

He shrugs. "Probably. I don't know for sure."

"I hope you guys fall in love soon and you ride off into the sunset together. I'd pay millions to see that." 

He laughs, leaning his head against Louis' shoulders. "But I love you."

"Yeah, yeah." He pushes Liam off, making them both laugh. 

They just watch some TV shows before Liam insists he needs sleep. Louis stays up a little longer, eating popcorn and watching the Walking Dead. 

He wore home PJ pants, he literally hasn't changed in about two days. It happens.

He's finishing up his popcorn when there is a loud bang on the door. 

He jumps a little, hesitating to open it. He stands up, opening it to see Harry's face.

His hair is all messed up, a black t-shirt on with some grey sweats. He looks horrible. 

What throws him off is when Harry smiles widely. "Louis! I missed you, dearly, if I should say. Can I come in?" 

Louis stares. 

He's drunk. Harry's drunk. 

"Harry, are you drunk?" 

Harry blinks a few times. "I don't think. I drinked a few." 

Louis laughs a little. "You drinked a few?" 

"Isn't that what you say?" 

Louis frowns a little. Harry never gets drunk unless it's needed. 

"What's wrong?" 

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "Why would you assume something's wrong? Are you just going to stand there or can I come in? I like it in there." 

Louis moves out the way and Harry stumbles in. 

"I really want skittles," he says walking into the kitchen. Louis follows him. 

"Harry." 

"That's my name. And yours is Louis," he is pulling out the skittles smiling widely. 

"You are a stupider drunk than Niall," he mumbles, "That's saying a lot." 

"I think I'm smart."

"Well." 

Harry sits down on the table, pouring out all the skittles on it. 

"What the hell are you--"

"Hush, little Louis. I'm going to color assort them." 

Louis stares at him like he's nuts as he starts putting the colors into sections. 

"I like green the best. Because no one likes green the best. So I mean, me liking green, has to make the green feel a little better about itself...right?"

He sits down next to Harry staring. Harry watches him with sad eyes. 

"Harry... they are pieces of candy. They don't know anything." 

Harry's frown deepens. "Yeah they do. Anything has feelings." 

Louis chuckles a little. "Why are you drunk?"

"Louis Tomlinson. I'm not drunk. I'm...I'm Harry." 

"That doesn't make any sense, whatsoever." 

"Okay," he sighs, continuing to organize. 

"Harry. Talk to me."

Harry keeps organizing, doing it very slowly. He frowns. 

"After Thanksgiving dinner, me mum and stepdad said they are getting divorced. He's been cheating on her...Mark has been cheating on me own mother." 

He shakes his head closing his eyes. "They are all I had, really. I mean, I have me mum, that's all I need. But it was nice having him. But...he was fucking cheating on her. He was such a good dad...and me mum is horribly depressed, and I can't see her like that. It reminds me of the past. My past. And I don't like seeing me mum upset in anyway." 

His voice is softly cracking and Louis wants to hug him and never let him go. He keeps his distance. 

"I know I probably sound lame," he laughs shaking his head, "But I just...I don't know. I'm family oriented. I'm such a fucking softy, and it disgusts me." 

"There's nothing wrong with being soft. That's good you are." Louis hesitates to reach out his hand to grab Harry's arm. 

"No. I'm so fucking weak. I always have been." He reaches his hand up, running over his scar. "Always have been." 

Louis starts frowning more. He wants to question it, but he can't. He'll just let Harry open when he needs to.

"Harry," he finally reaches his hand over, running it up and down Harry's arm gently. He stares down at the touch, not looking Louis in the eye as he talks, "I'm sorry your stepdad has been cheating on your mum. And it's okay to be upset about it, no matter how old, or what not. You just have a caring heart." 

Harry snaps his eyes back up. "That's not the only reason I'm upset, Louis...are you stupid?" 

Louis is a little taken back at the name calling, but he ignores it. He's drunk and upset. 

"Well, then what else are you upset about?" 

Harry narrows his eyes, he's almost glaring at Louis now. "It's not that easy. Louis, you... you remind me so fucking much of him. In ways, you do. But in other ways... you just... you don't. At all. You don't at all. But it scares me. That's why I ran off early. Couldn't dare be near you any longer. I don't even want to be here now, but yet of course, here I am."

"What are you on about?" Louis shakes his head. 

Him? Who's him? Why does Louis remind Harry of him? 

"I can't explain it, but fuck," he breathes out, "It fucking sucks. Because I like you...I do, I think. You're a good friend from what I've seen. But it just doesn't feel right to me to be around you." 

"Harry--" 

"Forget I said that, okay?" He snaps and Louis makes a face like what the hell because...what the hell? "Anyways, I almost fucking puked when you told me about your dad. Do you know how horrible it was for me to hear all of that? I still feel sick. I can't... I can't believe that happened to you. I will never believe it." 

Louis frowns, trying to forget what Harry was talking about earlier, but that's impossible. Who is him?

He looks back up to Harry who has full on tears in his eyes. "Why are you crying?" He asked shocked.

"Everything he did to you, I basically would remind you of it," he shakes his head aggressively. He runs his hand down his face to hide his tears. "That's why you fucking hit me when I called you pathetic. I wish you did worst, for all I care. Jesus Lou, I saw the first time I called you it how it offended you. And I was just so pissed off at you for being so drunk, I wanted to call you it again to get to you, but I had no idea. I'm so fucking sorry." 

A single tear falls down his face as he looks back into Louis' eyes. 

"Why do you care if I'm drunk?" Louis decides to ask. He rests his chin in his hand. 

He shakes his head. "Never mind that, I'm trying to apologize for being such a dick. I'm sorry for anything I've said to make you think of your dad. I would have never said one mean thing to you if I had known." 

"Pitying me just because of my past now? So you're saying that if that didn't happen, all those mean things you've said wouldn't matter? It being the money, as well?" 

Louis doesn't mean to turn it around on him like this, but he can't help it. 

Harry bites his bottom lip, crying more. "I'm sorry." He lets out weakly.

He feels horrible now. He didn't mean to make him more upset. He stands up, placing both hands on Harry's shoulders, massaging gently. 

"I said some pretty mean things too." 

"You just made fun of my hair and stupid clothes. I do walk around acting like I'm the shit, I know. But that's only because I am shit." 

Louis wants to giggle a little at his choice of wording, but he doesn't. 

"You're okay. I'm sorry for my behalf." 

"Don't apologize." 

Harry turns around slowly to look at Louis now. His eyes are a bit red, wet cheeks from the tears. Louis runs his hand quickly over Harry's cheek, wiping the one remaining wet tear. 

But that makes Harry cry more. 

"Jesus, are you going to cry every time I do something?" 

Harry shakes his head. "It's just... can we go to sleep?" 

Louis nods. "Yeah. We can skip classes tomorrow." 

"But I've missed so much." 

"One more day won't matter. You're hurting. It's okay." 

He takes a deep breath, standing up. Louis hesitantly puts his hand on his back as they walk to his room. 

They crawl into bed and Harry immediately moves really far away, facing away from Louis as he is probably silently crying to himself. 

Louis is hesitant, like always. He scoots over, wrapping his arm around Harry's chest. 

His body tightens, but softens immediately. 

He feels Harry grab his wrist gently. And he just leaves it there and Louis nuzzles his face into Harry's long hair before falling asleep himself, wondering who he reminds Harry of.


	21. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short but cute

Louis' eyes flutter open when he feels lots of movement on the bed. He looks to see Harry curled up, like knees to his chest, hugging them. He's basically shaking. 

He sits up frowning, glancing at the clock. It's nine, Liam probably left for classes already confused as hell. He doesn't know what to do. 

Harry's shivering into Louis, his head burying into his stomach. 

"Harry," he says shaking him, trying to wake up. 

He panics, he's probably having a nightmare. He licks his finger, sticking his finger in his ear. He twitches his head to the side, but thankfully his eyes flutter open. 

"What the hell," he asks putting his hand on his ear. 

"You were having a nightmare or something." 

Harry stares at him. He's clearly confused as hell, and Louis doesn't blame him. Last night is probably a blur for him, especially since he's barely ever drunk.

"So you give me a wet willy?"

He looks so serious, Louis starts chuckling.

"You weren't waking up."

"Jesus Lou," he mumbles laying on his back. He closes his eyes and Louis continues staring at him.

"You good?"

"Never better."

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Yes, surprisingly."

"I'm glad."

Harry opens just one eye to peak over at Louis. "You snore."

Louis drops his mouth a little. "I do not."

"But you do."

"You drool," Louis shoots right back and Harry shrugs.

"I know I do. When I wake up it's all over my face."

He chuckles a little, smiling at Harry who still hasn't smiled yet this morning.

"What were you dreaming about?"

He shrugs a little. "Don't remember."

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Louis asks, getting onto his stomach.

Harry shakes his head. "I'm so done with talking. Why don't I make us a big breakfast or something?"

Louis raises an eyebrow. "A big breakfast?"

"Yeah. Why not? I could cook us anything you have."

"I don't really need a big breakfast. Eggs and toast is fine," Louis shrugs.

Harry stands up. He wobbles a little as his feet hit the ground and Louis chuckles.

"Little hungover?"

"Shut up, Louis," Harry mumbles, "Eggs and toast it is."

He walks out of the room and Louis pushes himself up. 

He wonders if Harry is going to mention anything more to him. As of now, it doesn't seem like it. 

He walks out, sitting on the table to watch Harry cook. 

He likes watching Harry do things. For some reason it just interests him. Harry is an amazing person just to sit and admire. 

Harry makes the eggs and turns back a little to glance at Louis. 

"Enjoy watching me?" 

"I do." 

He can hear his smile though his voice as he talks. "Is that so?" 

"I'll admit it."

Harry's quiet a little. 

"Christmas is soon."

Louis nods. His birthday is on Christmas Eve. Possibly the worst day to have your birthday. People barely remember. Not like he has many people to remember it, but still. 

He doesn't tell Harry that though. 

"Indeed." 

"I love Christmas. I love Christmas lights, the music. I'm a sucker for Christmas." 

He smiles. "I could see that." 

"It'll be different this year. Maybe me and my mum will just watch some Christmas films together. I don't want her to be sad on Christmas this year." 

He hears Harry frowning a little and Louis sighs. "It'll be okay. She has you there."

Harry nods a little and the toast pops out. Harry jumps, making Louis laugh.

"That always will scare me," he mumbles, getting out the toast. 

He finishes the eggs, buttering the toast then walking over to the table with Louis. 

"Do you want something to drink?" Harry asks gently. 

Louis smiles at him. "This is my apartment room and yet I'm acting like the guest."

He shrugs. "I don't mind." He walks over to the fridge. "Orange juice?" 

"Please."

Harry pours them both orange juice before sitting down. They eat in silence. 

"You mentioned about the girls," Harry says softly, "In your phone call." 

Louis sighs, nodding. "My little twin sisters, Phoebe and Daisy." 

Harry frowns. "It's going to be awkward living in the house with my stepbrothers. Well, ex-stepbrothers. I mean, we're still going to be friends, they are good people. I'm just going to look at them badly because of their father." 

"That's okay." 

He nods. "Sorry, I keep talking about it. I'm annoying." 

Louis stares at Harry. He thinks about when Zayn said him and Harry are so alike. Louis sees it. 

Both of them get scared talking, like they are being too annoying. Both short tempered at times.

"You're right. You're so annoying," Louis teases and Harry laughs with a mouthful of food. 

"Oh, shut up." 

"Are you a dog or cat person?" Louis randomly asks. He has no idea why he asked this. Really, no clue.

"Cat," he answers easily like that was a completely normal question to ask.

Louis makes a face. "Gross."

Harry starts laughing. "When I was younger, I called my first cat pussy cat." 

Louis bursts out laughing, throwing his head back. "No way." 

"Yeah. My mum would just laugh and say come on, think of a new name. I never would. I was like six, too." 

He continues laughing. "Wow." 

"I've grown up with cats. Dogs scare me."

"Dogs are much better than cats."

"Well, I disagree." 

Louis shrugs, drinking from his orange juice. 

"Do you think the other boys will be mad we ditched?" Harry asks. 

"Why in the hell would they be mad?"

"Well, maybe not mad...but like...what the hell is going on?" 

"Of course they are going to be like that." 

Harry frowns. "I don't want them to know about this. I didn't even want to tell you," Harry mumbles. 

Louis doesn't know if that should offend him or not. 

"I came keep a secret, Harry. I know it might be surprising with this big mouth of mine, but I sure can." 

Harry chuckles. He then stares at Louis, wide smile. "Thank you." 

He nods. "Well, you're welcome." 

Once they are done Harry cleans everything up, Louis goes into the living room. 

"Do you watch the Walking Dead?" Louis shouts. 

"No!" 

"Well, looks like we're starting that today." 

Harry walks in with his hair fixed up a bit. Louis wonders when he did that. Did he look at himself through the cabinet glare? Cute. 

"Is it good?" Harry asks sitting down. 

"Incredible. By the end of today you'll love it and want to watch more." 

Harry nods. "I like starting new shows." 

Louis turns it on. 

Harry and him sit on complete opposite sides of the couch. Louis will glance at Harry a little bit. He never wants to look away, although he has to because he'll look creepy. 

"Louis?" 

"Hm?" 

"I like your tattoo." 

Louis looks down. He always forgets he has it, honestly. 

"Thanks." 

Harry stares at him, smiling widely before looking back to the telly. 

Although Harry doesn't even do anything too special, everything he does Louis just wants to kiss him more. And that scares the shit out of him.

 


	22. XXII

"I'm hungry," Louis mumbles. 

It's about three now and Liam should be getting home any minute, unless he's with Zayn. 

Harry and him have been watching the Walking Dead all day, and it has actually been nice. 

"I am too." 

"Shall we eat?" 

"What do you want?" 

Louis shrugs. "I'm feeling Chinese."

Harry nods, straightening his lips. "I could go for some Chinese myself." 

"There's one by your house."

"I obviously know that. I get it all the time."

"Okay, smart mouth." 

Harry chuckles as Louis stands to his feet. 

"Are we ordering or going there?" 

Harry stands himself. "I like walking places." 

Louis sighs. "We walk everywhere." 

"It's good." 

"Alright."

"It's getting cold outside. Wear a jacket," Harry says putting on his jacket he took off earlier before they went to sleep. 

"I don't get cold," Louis shrugs. He really doesn't. He never really wears heavy clothing in the winter. Maybe just a sweater or something. 

Harry frowns. "You have to. It's cold outside, so you have to get cold yourself. Common logic." 

Louis laughs. "I'm fine. Let's go." He opens the door. 

"What if you get sick or something?" 

He turns around to see Harry with furrowed eyebrows. 

"Jesus Christ," Louis mumbles walking past him. He goes in his room, grabbing a hoodie and pulling it over his head. He walks back, "Happy?" 

Harry smiles a little, nodding. Then they walk out together. 

"Are we going to run into one of your old friends again?" Louis asks and Harry shakes his head. 

"No. That was strange. Never thought I'd see her again." 

"Were you close with her?" Louis looks at him. He doesn't seem upset or anything, which is good. 

"Sort of. Yeah." 

"Do you ever talk about your sister?" He decides to ask. 

Harry sighs loudly. He starts laughing. "It's kind of funny, actually."

"What is?" 

"Why we aren't close anymore." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

He lets out a large sigh. "What am I not talking to you about by now, Louis?" 

"I don't know what you me--" 

"I was ten. She was like, sixteen or something. I was very overprotective of her. I know it's weird, me being way younger. When she had her first boyfriend, I purposely tripped him. I don't even know why I did, I just didn't like her dating. It was funny," Harry laughs and Louis joins him. 

"You tripped him?" 

"He fell and got a bloody nose."

"Jesus. You monster." 

Harry chuckles. "That was the first story. But then as we got older, when I was maybe fifteen, she was in college and she had this awful boyfriend. He wasn't physically abusive, he just controlled her every move. And I made sure they stopped seeing each other. He left her, thankfully, but she just kept mad at me because of it. It's so dumb. She knew he was horrible, she was just so blinded and didn't want to accept it. So, now she hates me?" 

He nods, thinking that is a little strange. Why would she hold a grudge for something that was for her benefit?

They get to the Chinese place, ordering their food before sitting down along with it. 

"Have you listened to the song yet?" Harry asks gently. 

Louis gives him a smile. "I have."

"You like it?" 

"I do." 

Harry nods. "Thought you would. They have nice music."

"I agree. I don't have any music to recommend to you, just yet. Maybe I will soon." 

Harry chuckles a little. "Alright." Harry watches him a little. "What is your all time favorite song, though?" 

"Easy. How to Save a Life." 

Harry smiles. "Pretty song." 

He nods. "Yours?"

"I don't have one, really."

"Everyone has their all time favorite." 

"Not me, apparently." 

Louis doesn't know how to carry on the conversation. He finished his food while Harry is still eating. 

"So how are you?" Louis asks gently. 

"I'm fine." 

He nods, watching Harry pick at his noodles. He lifts his fork and his little tongue sticks completely out as he eats. Louis chuckles to himself.

Harry looks up, "What?" He asks, mouth full.

"You eat cute."

Harry furrows his eyebrows, "Cute?" He asks, mouth still full.

Louis has to laugh more. "Yeah. Adorable actually. Like a little puppy or something sticking out its tongue."

Harry swallows. "Are you mocking me?"

"No. You just stick out your tongue when you go to bite your noodles."

He furrows his eyebrows, looking down at his fork. He lifts it up, watching himself cautiously. He stops before the noodles reach his mouth.

"I never noticed that," he mumbles. Louis smiles at him. He's utterly adorable.

Harry picks at his noodles, running his hand through his hair. He wonders what he is thinking.

"Anything specific on your mind?"

"I don't know."

Louis wants to ask him. So badly. But he knows he can't. So he keeps quiet. 

"I know what you're thinking," Harry mumbles quietly, "And I want you to stop."

"Excuse me?" 

"I was drunk and very stupid last night. Half the things I was saying probably wasn't even right," he shakes his head, "So ignore it." 

"Harry, you said I remind you--"

"Can you just shut up?" Harry grabs at his hair. He doesn't look up. 

"Why do you always get so snappy randomly? Like, can you calm down?" Louis huffs. 

"Stop." 

"You're more bipolar than me. You know I don't easily deal with attitudes like yours, but I'm trying here. The least you can do is try yourself?" 

"Of course I'm trying, Louis. I'm sorry." 

He lets go of his hair looking back into Louis' eyes. He does look sincerely sorry.

"Fine. I'm just curious. If I said all that to you, wouldn't you just like to know?"

Harry bites his bottom lip. "I didn't even want to tell you. I hate that I can't take it back...but I can't, so, can we please just not talk about it?"

Louis tilts his head. Harry looks completely hurt. He thinks if the person he reminds him of was bad. If he used to hurt Harry. But he can't ask that.

"Alright."

"Thank you."

Louis forces a smile. "Now, no need to be down. We go back to classes tomorrow."

Harry chuckles a little, pushing his remaining noodles. "I'm done eating."

"About time. You eat slower than my Nona."

"I doubt that." 

"Do you want to head back to mine?" 

He frowns. "Just for a little. I don't want to be a bother." 

"Too late for that, darling." Louis jokes and Harry laughs. 

They get up, walking back home. They go to cross the street, taking their time. Soon a car turns so Louis speeds up a little to not keep it waiting. 

What throws him off is when he realizes Harry isn't walking near him anymore. He turns around to see Harry barely walking. He just stares at the car. It's going literally right at him. 

Louis doesn't know what is going on but he panics. He hurries to Harry, grabbing his arm. He yanks him ahead and Harry's eyes widen. Louis watches him as he walks them to the other side of the street. 

"What the hell were you doing?" Louis snaps. 

Harry licks his lips. "What?" 

"You slowed down and just stared at the car coming towards you?"

Louis is scared. He's really fucking scared. 

"Oh."

"Oh? Harry, did you not even realize what you were just doing?"

"I...I do. I'm fine, I just blanked out a little." 

Louis stares at him completely breathless. He doesn't know what to say. He just feels scared. What is going on in his head?

"Are you alright?" 

Harry tilts his head. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" 

Why wouldn't he be? What the actual hell? Louis wants to snap, but he knows he shouldn't. 

"Don't do that again," Louis spits and Harry chuckles. 

"I didn't do anything." 

They start walking and Louis can't talk. He's so freaked out. 

Harry obviously notices, because he's staring at him as they walk.

"Are you mad at me?" He asks gently. 

"No, Harry," he snaps again, "I'm not mad, just freaked out."

"But I'm fine?" 

"Whatever Harry."

Harry goes quiet. They get back to Louis' room and Liam still isn't home. 

"Liam's with Zayn," Louis mumbles sitting on the couch. 

Harry walks over shyly. "Should I go?" 

Louis looks over frowning. "No. Pop a squat." 

He nods, walking over and sitting down oddly close to Louis. 

"I see you have an Xbox." 

"Yeah, I do."

"Can we play something? I don't remember the last time I probably played something." 

"Sure. You can pick any game you'd like." 

Harry nods, standing up looking through everything. Louis stares. 

"You know, I can actually feel those blue eyes of yours on my back." Harry turns around with a small smirk. 

He doesn't want to, but he laughs. "Well, obviously I'm going to stare at you. You're blocking the view of the telly anyways. Not like I mind." 

Whoops?

Harry chuckles. "Let's play FIFA. I may suck playing in person, but I can kick some ass in the technology of the world." 

"Always play FIFA myself. _I_ kick arse, Harry."

"We'll see now."

Harry hands Louis a controller and they start playing together. 

...

"Bastard!" Louis throws the controller at a laughing Harry. He's lying on his back, dying laughing because he completely distracted Louis so he could win. 

"You are so oblivious!" 

"Shut it, curly."

Harry stops laughing, looking at Louis with wide, pretty green eyes. He stands up, throwing his hands in the air. 

"I'm the true winner!" 

"Shut up."

"They say it's not about winners and losers, but it really is about the winners." 

"I'm warning you. I'll hit you in the balls." 

"Harry Styles, beats the Louis Tomlinson in a game of--"

Louis reaches over, smacking Harry in the balls. Harry lets out a loud whine, grabbing his dick and falling to the ground. 

Louis laughs as Harry sits there in pain. "Oh, don't be a baby." 

Harry tries kicking at Louis' feet on the ground as he struggles on the ground in obvious pain. 

"You are such a dirty player." Harry shakes his head, pushing himself up with a huff, blowing the hair out of his face, "Totally unfair." 

"Who's complaining now?" 

Harry smiles, looking up at Louis on the couch. Louis slides down, joining Harry on the ground. 

"So you beat me in FIFA. You happy?" 

Harry stares at Louis, the tiniest smile at his lips. "Yes." 

"Liam never has beat me. He sucks." 

"Well, I don't." 

"You proved that to me," he rolls his eyes. 

He feels his feet move a little and he looks back to Harry smiling down, kicking his feet with his own. 

"What're you doing?" 

Harry looks up, smiling widely at him. "I like your shoes." 

He looks down at his vans with stars all over them. "These are me lucky shoes." 

"Lucky shoes?" 

"Yeah."

"How come?" 

Louis shrugs. "Just feel that way, you know? You have anything special that just feels lucky to you?" 

Harry nods, frowning a little. "Yeah. Those are my gold boots." 

"Gold boots?"

He nods. "I don't wear them often. But I love my gold boots so much." 

"Why don't you wear them?" 

"Don't feel the need to. I feel like people are judging me more than usual."

Louis watches him. He's clicking his feet together. 

"I didn't know you thought about people judging you. I could never wear the stuff you do, and pull it off. You look so confident." 

Harry shrugs. "I try to make it that way. I always wanted to be my own person, and I'm trying. Just sometimes I can't do everything I'd like to, you know?"

"Kind of." 

"Look at me. Complaining about not wearing my gold boots. Fucking gold boots. I'm so weird," Harry throws his head back groaning. Louis smiles at him.

"I like weird."

Harry looks at him, with a weird expression. He doesn't say anything, so Louis continues. 

"I would love to see you in these gold boots."

"I-I think I should go home."

Louis furrows his eyebrows as Harry stumbles to his feet. "You alright?" 

"Yeah. Just tired and got classes tomorrow. Got a lot of catching up to do." 

Louis stands up. "Well okay, don't stay up too late playing that bingo." 

Harry chuckles before giving an awkward wave and walking out the door.

Louis is a bit sad because he likes hanging out with Harry. He had fun. He just hopes Harry wants to keep hanging out with him. 

Maybe Louis will get to see him in his gold boots one day, and they will both be happy.

 


	23. XXIII

"Why'd you skip class?" Liam asks the second he walks in. Louis looks up to him. 

"Harry was drunk."

"Harry drunk?" He raises his eyebrows. 

"Yeah. Just was being nice, you know? Sometimes you can't go to classes the next day." 

"Why was he drunk?" Liam sits down next to him. 

He shrugs. "Personal reasons." 

He nods. "You guys are getting closer."

"I suppose so." 

"Good. Zayn wants us all to go overnight together somewhere during winter break." 

"Really?" Louis sighs. He doesn't want to do that, honestly. 

"Yeah. Wants to go to his uncle's hotel down in Melbourne." 

"Why?" 

"Just because. Everything will be free. He says it's very pretty around Christmas time. We could go there for New Year's." 

"Maybe. I'll see what I'm up to." Louis really wouldn't want to go. It'll be pointless, honestly.

"Your birthday is soon. Almost 24, you old hag." 

Louis chuckles. "Whatever." 

"Wish it wasn't Christmas eve." 

"Yeah. Me too. My mum couldn't of gave birth to me on a worst day." 

"It could have been Christmas day." 

"Oh, shut up Liam." 

He laughs, grabbing Louis' hands before kissing it and standing up. "Heading to bed. Goodnight." 

"Night." 

Louis lays across the couch, watching the Breaking Bad. He lets himself fall to a peaceful sleep. 

...

Louis wakes up extremely uncomfortable. His back hurts because he obviously slept funny. He groans getting dressed, heading out with Liam. He is wearing a t-shirt and Liam is yelling at him. 

"You're nuts." 

"I don't get cold, you know this." 

"It's so weird. I don't understand, I never will." 

"It's alright." 

They walk up and Zayn and Niall are chatting away on the table. Harry isn't there. 

"Louis!" Niall shouts running up and hugging him. Louis rolls his eyes, hugging him back. "Hey mate."

"Missed you dearly." 

Louis pulls away to see Harry walking up to the table, phone in hand as he types away. 

"Wish I could say the same." 

"Shut it, Tommo." 

Louis looks back at Harry who still hasn't looked up from his phone. He casually strolls himself over to him. 

"Hey," he smiles, elbowing Harry's side. He jumps a little, looking up to him. He gives a smile back. 

"Hi." 

"Whatcha doing?" 

"I'm trying to order something online," he sighs, "I hate having such big fingers. It's hard to type." 

Louis looks down. Harry does have extremely large hands, and his hand is way bigger than his phone. 

"Sounds like a problem." 

"Yeah."

"What are you trying to order?"

"A sweater for my mum," he says very softly, and shyly.

"How sweet." Louis smiles at him. He honestly is the cutest thing he's ever seen. 

He mentally groans. Will these thoughts ever stop running through his mind?

"Sure." 

"I can help ya," he offers shrugging. 

"I think I got it, but thanks." He laughs a little, shaking his head. 

Louis looks at Harry's outfit. 

He's just wearing a plain black button up, ripped black jeans as always, some boots on his feet. 

"You look nice." 

He looks up, raising an eyebrow. "Do I now?" 

Louis nods. "Like always." 

He shakes his head, running his hand through his long hair while sniffing his nose. "You smell good." 

Louis shrugs. "I used Liam's cologne today."

"Why?" 

"It was in reach." 

He chuckles. "Nice." 

"So, you planning on going to Zayn's uncle's hotel for New Years?" 

Harry nods. "Probably. I was going to go with Nick and Vincent, like I always do, but I don't want to anymore. I'll just go with you guys."

"What do you guys usually do?" 

"Well, we go to this club down in Holmes Chapel. Nothing too special." 

"Clubs have to be fun on New Years." 

"Well, last year, a random guy was dancing on me. I went along. Then all of a sudden he puked on my shoes. So, that wasn't much fun."

Louis laughs. "Are you serious?" 

"Yeah. He just laughed and tried to continue dancing. I stood there in shock. I slowly waddled out towards the bathroom to clean my shoes. I walked in the _public_ bathroom to a girl sucking a guy's dick. I panicked, getting myself into the girls bathroom to clean them. I just went home. Counted down to the New Year by myself in me Spider man pajamas." 

He smiles at Harry fondly. Why? He doesn't know. He's just adorable? "Spider man pajamas?" 

"I know, it's embarrassing. My mum got me those instead of Batman. Like, who likes Spider man? Batman is obviously better." 

Louis lets out a loud laugh. "You're embarrassed they were Spider man over Batman?"

"Of course." 

He smiles. "That's cute." 

"Still have them in my room somewhere. I'll wear them every now and then."

"Still cute." 

Harry smiles. "What do you normally do?" 

"Spend it with the girls. I don't know if I'll come down." 

Harry looks him in the eyes, frowning. "Why not?" 

"It's a long drive, I feel bad leaving the girl's earlier than I usually do. They love spending new year's with me." 

"I think you should come. One year won't matter."

He shrugs. "Maybe. I'll see." 

Harry stares, nodding slowly. "Alright." 

"The best time of the year is coming around!" Niall shouts, wrapping his arm around Louis' shoulder. Harry steps back. 

"Sure is." 

"I'm not meaning Christmas." 

"Shut up."

Niall laughs. "I got you the funniest gift. I got it drunk along with me golf buddies. You're going to die. I'll give it to you before you head back home. But you can't open it before your birthday." 

"I hate you." 

Niall kisses his cheek, running off to class. 

Louis is smiling when he looks back at Harry who's standing there shyly. 

"Your birthday?" 

"Oh, yeah. It's this month." 

Harry frowns. "What day?" 

"The 24th, unfortunately." 

"Christmas Eve?" 

"Obviously." 

"You were a Christmas miracle." 

Louis laughs. "If that's what you call it, sure." 

Harry stares with sad eyes. "Um, would you want me to get anything?" He asks, scratching at behind his neck, "I'm not sure what you would like though." 

He giggles, shaking his head. "I'm good curly. I don't need anything. Don't worry about me." 

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but he quickly closes it.

"You should run on to class. First day back. But hey, only like two more weeks left." Louis smiles turning around and walking away. 

He gets into his classroom, sitting in his seat. He wonders if Harry is doing okay. But what else is new?

The day goes by pretty slow. It ends by Niall literally running behind him, choking him. 

"Do you ever stop grabbing onto me?" Louis sighs, pushing Niall off his back. 

He laughs. "Love you too much." 

"What do you want?" 

"Let's go play some footy. Me and you." 

"For what reason?" Louis raises his eyebrows. 

"Missin' you." 

"Fine." 

They walk and Niall runs into his frat to grab a football before running back out. They walk to the field. 

They kick around a little bit, nothing too serious. Small conversations. He does enjoy hanging out with Niall. 

"Okay, but there is something I'd like to tell you," Niall sighs, "You're like, close with Harry now?" 

"Yeah. Why?" 

Niall places the ball still, sitting on it. Louis sits on the grass across from him, watching him curiously. 

"I want to the bathroom during the middle of class, and I saw him pacing back and forth in front of campus. He was talking to this guy I didn't recognize. He seemed really upset." 

Louis frowns. What guy?

"That's weird." 

"I don't even think he goes here. No idea who he would be." 

Louis bites his lip. "I don't know if I should talk to him about." 

"I don't either. I was just wondering if you were to know any of this."

Louis shakes his head, trying to think. He has no idea. 

"Nope." 

"He looked really tired today." 

"Did he?" Louis asks, not really even realizing. 

"Yeah. He always looks so tired." 

He sighs. He doesn't even know that. Is Harry tired all the time? When he said he can't sleep alone? Did he actually mean it? 

"Thanks for telling me. I'm trying to make him happy." 

"I know. It's cute," Niall shoots a smile.

"Shut up." 

"Just saying. I always knew Harry was a bit off." 

"Yeah." 

"Sucks. He can be such a fun guy." 

"Everyone has their problems," Louis bites his nails. 

"I know."

"Let's stop being sappy," Louis stands up. He doesn't want to talk about sad Harry anymore, "We came to play footy, didn't we?" 

Niall laughs uncontrollably as Louis is too quick, kicking the ball under Niall's arse, him falling to the ground. Louis kicks the ball in the goal before being tackled to the ground by Niall.


	24. XXIV

The week goes by pretty slow. Harry is shy throughout the week, but still him and Louis talk normally. Louis isn't going to push him to talk about anything, he knows it isn't right. He remains being a good friend. 

Zayn insisted they all had to go to a club this weekend. So now Louis is getting ready for that. 

He wears something different than usual. He wears a jean jacket, rolled up dark jeans, star vans at his feet. He puts on cologne before walking out his room to see Liam. 

"Well, look at you." 

Louis chuckles, sitting out his leg a little. "Like it?" 

"Yeah. Who you dressing so differently for?" He raises an eyebrow. 

He rolls his eyes, getting sort of annoyed. "Seriously, I don't like Harry." 

"Alright. You say it but I really don't believe you." 

He's annoyed. He doesn't like Harry. He won't ever like anybody. His dad ruined that for him, he supposes. He just doesn't feel the need to have an actual boyfriend. He never tells anybody that's the real reason though. 

"Stop. You know that I don't just like people." 

He shrugs as they walk out the door. "I'm thinking it's different with Harry though." 

He sighs, trying to block out all the thoughts trying to get inside.

Zayn said he's going to pick them up, so they wait outside for them. Liam lectures Louis for his rolled up jeans. He ignores him. 

Zayn pulls up soon, Liam gets in front while Louis is back. Niall is in the middle again. His eyes go straight to Harry, who honestly looks cuter than he ever has before, if possible. 

He has a black buttoned up shirt, dark colored pants, with this yellow flower at the top of his shirt. He looks so precious. He'll be sure to tell him that when Niall isn't between him. 

"You look extremely sexy," Niall says straight away. Louis laughs. 

"Clearly why you are my favorite person," he jokes and leans in for a quick, awkward hug. 

"You smell good as well. Jesus, Lou, I could just fuck you right now." 

"Shut it," Louis laughs hard. He glances at Harry who has his head forward a little as he just stares at Louis. He gives him a quick smile before Zayn blasts up Christmas music. 

Niall and Louis go full out. He always goes full out with him. They sing and dance, do whatever possible. He hears Harry shyly laughing to himself from the side. 

They arrive to the club and run out of the car like full on little boys. Harry walks slowly behind. Louis slows down though, waiting for him by the door. He keeps it open for him. 

Harry runs his hand through his hair, "Thanks," he mumbles quietly. Louis just runs off. 

He sits right next to Niall, who already ordered their drinks. 

He notices Harry shyly going to sit next to him. He does, making Louis mentally smile to himself. 

Harry orders himself a drink and Louis snaps to him. "Really?" 

Harry shrugs. "Um, yeah. I-I just want one. Nothing too much." 

Louis narrows his eyes at him before shrugging. He looks in Harry's eyes. He does look extremely tired. Like, he could fall asleep any second. 

He turns to Niall, whispering in his ear. "He does look really tired." 

Niall stupidly glances at Harry, who is obviously going to know he just whispered about him. 

"Told you," Niall says quietly. 

They drink more and Harry remains quiet. Louis doesn't make an attempt to talk to him, really. There's no reason, he's just having good conversations with Niall and Zayn at the moment. 

He can tell he's drinking very slowly and cautiously though.

Louis is listening to Niall talk to Zayn about golf when he hears Harry talking. He turns around to see a man talking to him. He gets a weird rush of adrenaline through him.

Him being drunk and stupid, he purposely leans closer to Harry, pushing his arm into his. He looks back hesitantly at Louis. The man talking to Harry stops, glaring at Louis. 

"Who's this?" The unknown man speaks referring to Louis.

"I'm Louis," he says way too loudly, giving a small wave. 

The man huffs and Harry stands up quickly. Louis watches him weirdly. 

"I told you I have nothing to talk about. You can't force me to say anything."

"It's your fault." 

Harry closes his eyes. "How many times do I have to say it's not my fault?" 

"What? Sorry, I can't focus when you have that stupid flower on your shirt. You look fucking ridiculous." 

Louis gets mad, especially when Harry glances down sadly. 

He stands up, standing right next to Harry. 

"I don't know who you are, or what you want, whatever. Don't fucking say something unnecessary like that." 

"Who are you to tell me what to not say?" The guy is annoyed. But not nearly as mad as Harry, who glances back at Louis. 

"Louis, please. Just sit back down."

He can't sit back down. He's pissed. He's so mad someone would say that to Harry, who's done nothing wrong.

"No. I'm pissed. I don't care who this is, I don't like what he said to you." 

He hears the man laugh and Harry shoots Louis a dirty look. "Don't get involved," he snaps.

Louis gives a look and the man shakes his head. 

Harry turns back around and the man talks more. "You clearly moved on already? I always knew it was all your fault. It should have been you instead of him." The man walks away, slowing down before looking at Louis. "Don't ever interfere again." 

Louis ignores him though, he just looks at Harry who is expressionless. 

What was that guy talking about? Louis feels a little panicked. Those words can mean anything. 

"Harry?" 

"Louis, please," he mumbles, "Just don't talk." 

He sits back down, drinking the rest of his drink. Louis sits back down confused. Niall brings his lips to Louis' ear. 

"That was the guy with Harry that one day." 

Louis' eyes widen. Who is that? 

He know's he can't ask him that. He knows he can't ask Harry anything. So he decides he'll just wait until Harry talks himself. That's the kind of friend Harry needs. He just wants to be the one to get him happy. 

He looks at Harry who finished his drink, resting his cheek on his hand. He stares ahead blankly.

"Are you tired?" Louis asks gently. 

Harry glances at him confused. "What?"

"Want to go back to mine to sleep? I'm tired myself, if you are." 

He furrows his eyebrows. "No. I don't want you to think that has to be a normal thing now, or something. Me sleeping over every week." 

"But you said you don't like sleeping alone?" 

Harry sighs, nodding slowly. 

"I don't want to be a bother." 

"You're no bother at all. I promise." 

Harry stares into Louis' eyes a little. "Alright."

Louis smiles. "Get an uber." 

Harry is already getting out his phone as he turns to Niall. 

"We're heading back to mine." 

"What the hell, why?" Niall asks. 

He shrugs. "I can explain later. I'll see you later, bud. Don't get too drunk without me." 

"Love you," he mumbles as Harry is now standing, watching him shyly. 

Louis stands up and they walk out together. They get outside, and Harry immediately starts shaking. 

"It's not that cold," Louis says laughing a little. 

"Yeah, it is," Harry chatters, "I don't understand how you have your jeans rolled up."

"Don't get cold," he shrugs. 

He watches Harry as he shivers. He wants to wrap his arms around him or something. He doesn't. 

He looks at his outfit, which he forgot to compliment. 

"Harry, listen, I fucking adore your outfit. I honestly do. I'm not just saying that because of that arse's opinion, I genuinely like it. Wanted to tell you it earlier."

Harry smiles shyly. "Thanks. My mum got me the flower as an early Christmas present. Just wanted to wear it once over here."

"It's precious," Louis says reassuringly. He gets a small smile from him. 

"Thanks, Louis."

The uber pulls up and they get in, going to his room. The ride is silent, but it's not bad. 

They walk in and Louis kicks off his vans. 

"You can go in my room and change into some of my clothes. I'll be in here making tea, won't come in," Louis says. Harry nods. 

"Alright." He goes into his room. 

Louis remembers the last time he say Harry's shirtless body. Bruising and scratches everywhere. The image doesn't leave his head. It makes him so upset. But he knows not to ask. 

He is in the kitchen making tea when he hears a small giggle. 

"Louis?" 

He turns around to see Harry. Jesus Christ. 

His shirt is way too tight on him, basically suffocating him. His pants are up past his ankles, and his dick is clear to eye. Louis literally gets hard just looking at the sight and he panics.

"Am I really that small?" He groans and Harry laughs loud, dimples popping out. 

"I knew they would be small on me, but I did not think nearly this much." 

"Don't mock me." 

"I most definitely am not." 

"Not everyone can be as tall and beautiful as you."

Fuck. He just called Harry beautiful. What the fuck? He's never called anyone beautiful. It literally slipped out. 

"So I'm beautiful?" Harry raises his eyebrows. 

"Shut it, curly." 

"The Louis Tomlinson thinks I'm beautiful?" 

"I'm warning you."

Harry pumps his fist in the air. "Definitely marking this day in my calendar. I'm honored."

"Whatever, you can go into Liam's room to get his clothes. They will fit you better."

Harry is still chuckling as he walks away. 

Louis finishes the tea, walking into the living room to see Harry walking in, going to sit down on the couch. Louis hands him the tea in the process. 

Harry smiles sitting down. 

He gives a look. "What gives?" 

"Nothing. I don't want to upset you by calling you small, or anything." 

"I'm getting dressed myself," Louis mumbles walking into his room. He gets into the clothes that Harry tried on. He walks back out to see Harry has the Walking Dead on. 

"You like it?" Louis asks sitting down. 

Harry nods. "I actually do." 

"Very good show. I could watch every episode fifteen times." 

Harry watches Louis smiling. "Want to know something silly?" 

Silly? What kind of person says silly?

"Why not."

Harry brings his feet on the couch, moving them to drag his butt along. He reaches Louis, sitting really close. He watches very confused. He gets even more confused when Harry places his foot on Louis' thigh. 

He takes off his sock, putting it back on his thigh. 

"See anything funny?" 

Louis watches him before looking down at his foot. 

He sees writing on his big toe. He looks closer. The words, the actual words, Big Toe, are inked on it. 

He looks back up with a wide mouth. "Is that real?" 

Harry just laughs, looking at it himself. "Just did it last weekend. I did the tattoo myself." 

"Why the hell--"

"Listen," Harry laughs, "My friend is a tattoo artist, and he wanted me to do one myself. I wanted to do it on myself, and I mean, no one is going to see that unless I show them. So I thought it'd be funny."

"It's hilarious," Louis mumbles laughing with him. 

"You should get one on your pinky finger. Pinky written across it." 

Louis laughs loud, and Harry leans forward, laughing along. 

"No. That's something you would do. I'd never get such a ridiculous tattoo." 

"Come on. Live a little. You already got one! It'd be so funny." 

"It's permanent!" 

"Fine. Get one on your pinky toe then saying Piggy." 

"Shut up, Harry. You make me sick." 

Harry laughs loudly. Louis stares at him. He didn't know someone could be so beautiful. Like, he'd never thought he would just be able to look at another human being, and be able to admire them so much. Harry makes it easy. 

He looks at his smiling lips. He wants to kiss them so badly. And clearly, it's obviously. He's leaning in already. 

Harry notices because his laughing stops. He leans back a little, before practically falling himself on Louis' lap. 

Thank God, he wasn't able to stop himself. He needed to kiss him. He knows he can't. 

"Me tired," he mumbles nuzzling on his lap, "Using your lap as a pillow." 

"Anytime," Louis says as soft as he can manage. He closes his eyes himself, leaning his head back. 

"You make sleeping easy," Harry says so gently, he barely hears him. He licks his lips, watching Harry fall asleep on his lap, and he feels peace.

 


	25. XXV

"I think I'm going to have an ugly Christmas sweater party," Harry mumbles, still on his lap. Louis opens his eyes. He thought Harry was asleep. 

"Sounds cute." An ugly sweater party? They are in college. Who the hell has that?

"It's weird, but I'd like to do it. I'll throw it next Friday. It's the last day before break anyways." 

"I'll be there." 

Harry chuckles, turning to look up at Louis' face. He looks down at Harry with a small smile. 

"I've been trying to grow facial hair for years." 

Louis laughs, bringing his hand up to his own facial hair. "Mine's getting scruffy." 

"You're lucky. I barely get anything. I don't even need to shave." 

He chuckles. "Little Harry." 

"Please." 

"We should do something." Louis suggests and Harry furrows his eyebrows. 

"Like what? I thought we were sleeping." 

"We could bake cookies. Dance around to Christmas music. Or both." 

Harry chuckles. "I thought you didn't cook."

"Exactly. You could make the cookies while I skip around you." 

Harry smiles, shaking his head. His eyes are drooping. He wants to sleep so badly. 

"Why don't we just do it tomorrow?" 

"Your eyelids are falling down. Go to sleep, curly." 

Harry is still smiling as his eyes close completely. He didn't even need to think about it. He's fast asleep, facing towards Louis. 

He's happy Harry fell asleep in this position. He can see his face clearly now. His lips are pouted out, chest going up and down heavily. He looks so peaceful. He wants to kiss him so badly. It sucks he can't. 

It's not the comfiest position, but he makes it work so Harry can get his sleep. He puts his hand on Harry's chest, resting it there as he watches the TV. Harry doesn't move a muscle the entire time he's sleeping. 

Louis ends up falling asleep himself. 

...

He wakes up to nothing on his lap. He looks around sadly. Harry's nowhere to be seen. He looks down confused though. He's laying down, a blanket covering him. Did Harry do this? 

He takes the blanket off, walking to get his phone. Just as he's about to text Harry, the door opens. He looks to see Harry strolling in with two drinks. 

"You're up," he smiles, "Sorry, just wanted to get us some coffee." 

Louis puts down his phone, sending him back a smile. "How thoughtful of you." 

He shrugs. "It's nothing." 

He walks over, grabbing his coffee before strolling back to the couch. 

Harry is frowning as he walks over himself. "I wasn't able to say thank you for letting me spend so much time here. I know you probably are getting annoyed of my sad ass, but...it means a lot. So, thanks Louis." 

He watches him. Harry looks like he feels bad. He shouldn't feel bad about anything. Does he not understand he likes having him around? 

"I like hanging out with you. Don't be so down on yourself." 

Harry smiles, nodding. "Alright." 

"So, let's say. We baking those cookies tonight?" 

Harry laughs. "I don't know." 

"Or we could have a Christmas movie marathon. We could play board games. Let's do something fun, curly!" 

"I like scrabble." 

"Oh I don't have the patience for that. I don't even own it." 

"I love scrabble." 

"I have that headband game," Louis shrugs. Harry huffs. 

"That game is dumb." 

"Maybe you're dumb?" 

Harry chuckles. "Okay, Louis the Tommo Tomlinson." 

"What do you say?" 

"I think we should just have a movie marathon. I love the classics." 

Louis nods. "Fine by me. What's your favorite Christmas movie?" 

"Home alone," Harry leans back drinking his coffee. 

"How is it not Elf? Everybody loves Elf." 

"I like Elf, just isn't my favorite." 

"Will Ferrel is amazing in that movie."

"I agree." 

"I remember one time I woke up in the middle of the night when I was like, 6. I tried looking for Santa under the tree. He wasn't there and I walked in to my mum eating the cookies," Louis laughs shaking his head, "I was so mad at her. She said she was going to put out new ones for Santa, she was just too hungry." 

Harry's smiling. "I can only see a mad little Louis at his mum for eating Santa's cookies." 

"I was so disappointed." 

"I believed in Santa till I was literally 12. Gemma ruined it for me. She asked me if I really did still believe in Santa, and I said why wouldn't I? She told me and I cried." 

He shakes his head. "Wow."

"It was a bad Christmas for me." 

Louis laughs. "I stopped believing when my dad said he didn't want to leave any presents for me under the tree this one year. My mum sneaked me some presents though. So it wasn't too bad." 

Harry's frowning. Louis sighs. 

He gives Harry a smile. "It's okay. I can talk about it. Don't be frowning." 

He closes his eyes, before reopening them with a long sigh. "Sorry." 

"So what movie you want to start with? We can watch the first and second Home Alone."

"Yeah. I haven't even seen the third one."

"Me either. I refuse to." 

Harry chuckles. 

They spend the day watching Christmas movies. And it's absolutely wonderful. 

They joke around, eating and drinking together. They sit closer than usual, knees touching, getting excited at funny scenes. It's the best night Louis had in the longest time. And the entire fucking night, Louis stared at his lips.

He needs to kiss Harry. He doesn't know if he's...actually starting to like him. He really hopes not. He can't like Harry. 

Harry leaves happy. Happier than Louis has seen him in a while. He's so glad. 

Harry got his Christmas sweater party all announced. It's the last time Louis will see him before the break then, because he leaves the next morning to go back home. 

The rest of the week goes by very fast. Harry and Louis don't hang out, just talk at school. But it's nice. Harry is smiling more. Way more. And Louis loves seeing that. 

Louis doesn't get a very Christmassy sweater. He just wears a plain sweater. Liam doesn't even wear a sweater. He claims he doesn't own one. 

Liam and Zayn are meeting each other's families during the break. Louis is happy for him. He was able to come out easily, and of course, like figured, his parents were happy. 

They walk in, and everyone around isn't even in a sweater. Louis chuckles. He knew no one would. 

But he smiles widely, so widely he's surprised his face doesn't break, when Harry walks up in a red sweater, with a small reindeer on it. 

Harry sighs, smiling a little. "Apparently, no one liked the idea of sweaters." 

Louis chuckles. "Sorry, lad. If it makes you feel better, I wore a sweater. Not necessarily Christmas, but a sweater." 

He shrugs. "Could have been better." 

"Well, at least--"

"Harry!" 

They both turn to see a man standing there, waving him over. Louis doesn't recognize him. He turns back to Harry who is smirking. 

He turns back to Louis, placing his fucking hand on his arm? "See you later," he shoots a smile before running off to the guy. 

"What the fuck?" Louis accidentally says out loud. 

Did Harry seriously just leave him for another guy? He normally wouldn't be mad, but they are clearly flirting with each other. 

The guy is smiling and Harry is sitting on the table, red cup in hand as he laughs hardly. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks to Niall. 

"Talk now?" 

He looks back at Harry. The man has moved closer to him. He's going to feel sick. He fucking hates being jealous. And yes, he'll admit it. He's really fucking jealous. 

"Yeah." 

Niall walks him over, handing him a drink. He takes it gladly. 

"So what's wrong with him?" 

Louis shrugs. "He can't sleep alone. He sleeps with me, not that way. We just sleep. He told me about his parents and sister," Louis stares at Niall, "Promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to?" 

"Yes." 

"No, Niall, I'm serious, if you tell anyone, a soul, even your pet rock, I will have to end you."

"Yes," he rolls his eyes, "I won't tell anyone." 

"Well, I saw Harry shirtless on accident. He has all these bruises and scratches. That scar on his forehead isn't the only part of whatever happened. And he won't talk." 

Niall frowns. "Wow... I have no idea. That's weird. I'm curious."

He huffs. "You're curious?" 

"Well, yeah." 

"I just feel bad. And he told me... he told me I remind him of someone. In a bad way, I suppose. I don't know what he's talking about. It's bothering me." 

Niall furrows his eyebrows. "Weird. Sorry, but that guys here." Niall is looking behind him and he sees the guy who was at the club last night walking around, looking around. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" He snaps. 

Niall grabs his arm. "Don't do anything." 

"I won't," Louis snaps, "Not yet," he mumbles. 

Niall and him stick together. They drink and Louis doesn't see Harry. He's so pissed. Harry has to know Louis has some kind of feelings, right? This sucks. 

"Got me present for you. Want it now?" Niall asks. 

Louis nods. "Why not?" 

He walks away, and Louis is standing against the corner alone. Niall comes back with his coat, grabbing into it. He pulls out a fucking...golf dildo? 

Niall is bursting out laughing and Louis stuffs it back in his coat. 

"You fucking bastard," he snaps trying to hide it. 

"Come on, it's hilarious!" 

"Keep it for you and your disgusting golf buddies!" 

Niall is dying laughing and Louis actually joins along. He's drunk. It's pretty funny. 

He smacks Niall in the chest, he stumbles back. "It was brilliant."

"Fine. Go put it away." 

"You're keeping it," Niall says sternly, walking away. 

Louis' eyes go up and the man is staring at him. He gives him a face. 

"What?" 

He walks up, and Louis stands up straight. 

"Do you know where Harry is?" 

"No. And I don't fucking care where he is." 

The guy smirks. "Get in a fight with your boyfriend?" 

Louis makes a face. "Boyfriend? Please, we aren't dating. Never did, never will." 

The guy nods. "Well, don't date him." 

"Why?" 

He starts getting mad at the guy again. 

"Did he tell you about his last boyfriend?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. 

Louis shakes his head. He never knew Harry used to have a boyfriend, first of all. 

The guy huffs. "Course he hasn't. He doesn't fucking tell anyone."

"What are you talking about?" 

He looks at Louis. "I need to talk to him. I need him to fucking talk, where is he?" 

Louis looks behind him. He see's Harry with the guy before, and now another one as well. They are staring at Harry like they are fucking in love with him. Harry just stands there, leaning against the wall, talking to them calmly. His anger boils. But he won't tell this man anything. 

"Said I don't know." 

"Fucking bastard."

"I don't like the way you speak to him." Louis crosses his arm. 

"Shut up. You're a child." 

Louis is taken back, but then gets mad straight away. He already know's a fight is coming on. He's drunk. Pissed beyond many reasons. Jealous of Harry, mad at this douche of a guy, who he has no idea what is going on with. 

"No, you clearly are. Whatever you need to talk with Harry about, he doesn't want to. Picking on him isn't going to do shit." 

"You have no right to take any part in this. Just go find him, alright? Aren't you close with him or something? Friends wise, if anything?" 

"No. I fucking won't." 

The man stares. "What?" 

Louis pushes himself off the way, walking closer to the man. He isn't much taller than Louis, but he's still taller. 

"I don't know what you want, but I want you to get the fuck out. I know you're obviously bothering Harry about something, and I don't like it. You don't even go to college here, so just leave?" 

"You don't know what's--"

"Oh, tear tear. I don't know what's going on. So what? Be a fucking man and just drop it." 

"You can't just drop this," his voice is getting louder. 

"What's your name?" Louis asks. 

"Stan." 

Louis is spitting every cruel thing he can possibly say. It's not the smartest, but he's just so fucking pissed. He's drunk and mad at Harry. And this fucking guy is an absolute douchebag. This is what he does. He picks stupid fights.

"Stan, you yelled at Harry for being a bad person. Clearly, I have no idea what's going on. But I do know you yelled at Harry over something. Someone. You said it should have been him instead? Well, have you ever thought it should have been _you_? I obviously don't fucking--"

Louis stops talking the second he lifts up his arm, nailing him straight in the jaw. It hurts like hell. He felt his jaw basically crack at the contact.

He doesn't know what he's doing. This man is obviously really mad over something. He knows he shouldn't get involved. He's just so fucking mad. He wants a fight, and he's the only guy available right now.

He just starts laughing, looking back up. He is furious. "Maybe I deserved that."

He stands up straight but it happens too fast and Stan jumps on him, knocking him to the ground. 

Louis hits his head on the ground in the process. It feels like it is fucking cracked open, like his brain is oozing out or something.  
Then there's another hit on the side of his cheek. A hard fist. 

Louis struggles to lift his hands because his head hurts too badly to even think. He grabs his hair, yanking hard.   
But it helps when he's pulled off.

"He fucking deserves it!" Louis hears Stan shout.

"You don't leave him alone! You're a cunt, you need to fucking back off!" He hears Niall yelling now.

He closes his eyes, coughing a little when a hand is placed under his back, helping him off the ground.

Louis opens his eyes to see Harry's face. He groans, wobbling on his feet.

"What the hell happened?" He asks looking between the two. 

Louis coughs again, touching the back of his head to see if it's bleeding. That fucking hurt. 

"Nothing. I just," he closes his eyes. His head is pounding, "Needed to pick a fight." 

"Why?" He hears Harry whisper through his closed eyes. 

He opens them. He feels so fucking dizzy. 

He's blinking slowly and he sees Harry start widening his eyes. 

"Louis?" 

"I'm going home." 

Louis goes to walk but Harry is grabbing his arm still. 

"Let me--" 

He gasps as Harry reaches under his legs, scooping him up like he's a baby or something. He starts walking towards the door. 

"What the hell, put me down?" Louis says slowly. 

"No."

Louis watches him as he looks into his eyes. Harry looks sad.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I'm taking you home," he whispers quietly. 

He groans, touching his bleeding lip as Harry brings him to his car, helping Louis into the passenger seat. He climbs around getting in to drive.

Louis sighs. Harry is staring at him but he won't look him in the eyes. He can't, it's too much.

"Are you alright?"

Louis laughs, looking out the window to ignore him.

He feels a touch to his cheek and he whimpers. He looks back at Harry who jumped himself. 

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, did I hurt you? I'm sorry. Does it hurt?"

He stares at him blankly. He looks scared.

He starts realizing something. He is always ignoring the own fact he's unhappy himself. 

He's too caught up trying to make others happy. He's sick of it. Especially Harry. If Harry isn't going to let him help him, he can't deal with it. He doesn't know if it's the drink talking or actually him. But he's so sick of it.

He knows he needs to stop, but he can't help it. He also needs to stop trying to put others down as well, which is another thing he feels the need to do at times.

"I spend too much time trying to make the people I care about happy. But sometimes when I'm mad I just want to pick a fight. Or I'll just pick a fight because I feel the need to be beat the shit out of. It's weird, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like the ones I'm cruel to, I only do it because I'm so miserable. I spend too much time worrying on others than myself. So I try to put down others, as well. I don't know. It just sucks, Harry."

That's not all truth. That's not half of it.

Harry is frowning. "Are you unhappy?" 

"Of course I am! My life fucking sucks! But here I am, trying to help you out and you're so fucking clueless! I want you to talk to me, because that's how I am. Something is going on that you won't tell me about. And I'm just that kind of person who wants to make it better. Especially you, Harry. I don't know... I don't know what it is about you." 

Harry looks down at his hands, nodding slowly. He doesn't say anything. 

"Just drive. Get me home. I need to clean up myself. I'm so fucking mad at you." He shakes his head. 

He doesn't mean to tell Harry this. He just needed to get some off his chest. He's so furious. Or he's just jealous. 

Maybe he's just mad at himself. He's mad he can't just tell Harry he might like him. That he wants to kiss him. Or that he can't just actually lean in, and kiss him. 

Harry is probably about to cry, but he doesn't even care. He can't feel his head. 

"I-I can help you clean up. I'll get a cold washcloth and--"

"No," Louis snaps. 

Harry is quiet the rest of the ride. 

Louis goes to get out and he's still wobbly. 

"P-Please let me help you upstairs at least," Harry says worried, voice cracking. 

Louis ignores him. He's about to close the car door, but he peaks down. "Merry Christmas, Harry," he mumbles. 

He slams the door, walking slowly and painfully up to his room. 

He looks in the mirror. His face looks pretty bad. Not as bad as it feels though. 

He cleans himself up, crawling into bed. 

He regrets everything he did immediately. 

He didn't even tell Harry all the truth.

Louis sometimes has those nights though. When Harry left him, he got jealous. And he just didn't feel important. 

After growing up with his dad who was never there for him, when people leave him he gets hurt. Then he actually wants to get hurt. Feels like he deserves it. 

Everything's so fucked up. And it's all because of his dad. 

He starts feeling bad for yelling at Harry. 

This will be the worst Christmas ever. And his birthday is tomorrow. Just great.


	26. XXVI

Louis doesn't know what to do about his face. There's a little cut on his lip, but a bruise on his cheek. It's obviously he got hit, and he doesn't want to show up like this in front of the girls. 

He woke up the next morning to Liam cuddling him. He got out of bed to check out his face. 

Louis walks back in the bedroom, and Liam is awake. 

He gives a sleepy smile. "Happy birthday you champ." 

He basically forgot it was his own birthday. He doesn't even care.

Louis chuckles. "Thanks, Liam."

He crawls into bed and Liam rubs his back up and down.

"Harry was outside when I got home." 

He gives a look. "What?" 

"Yeah. I got home around two. He was outside in his car, sleeping." 

Louis frowns. They got here around eleven. Why did he wait outside? 

"What the hell." 

"I knocked on the window, asking what happened. He explained a little. He just said he wanted to make sure you were okay, but he didn't know how. I told him to go home, that I could talk with you. He was hesitant, but just nodded and left." 

He licks his lips. He decides to ignore what Liam just said.

"How can I hide this?" He points to his bruise, "I'm going home today."

"Face makeup is your only option." 

"Please. I'd rather die." 

"You have to if you want to hide it."

Louis frowns, groaning loudly. "Want to be a doll and get me some? My mum will be here in about two hours." 

Liam rolls out of bed, kissing Louis' nose. "Just because it's your birthday and you have booboos."

He lays his head on the pillow. His fucking head still hurts. He swears he has to have a concussion or something. The floor hurt so bad. Usually he's good with stopping himself before his head hits the ground.

He still feels bad about being so harsh to Harry. He just...he wants Harry. He really does. And he hates that it can't just be easy for him. This hasn't happened to him before. He's scared.

He just lays in bed until Liam gets back. He helps him put on the makeup. It helps a lot. 

"So you know how to put it on?" He asks as Louis puts it in his duffle bag.

"Yeah. Thank you, you're a life saver." 

Liam chuckles. "Your mom will be here soon. Have a wonderful birthday and a merry Christmas, hope to see you at New Years," he says cheerfully.

Louis huffs. "Yeah. You too." 

They hug, Louis ruffles his hair before heading out. He wonders if Harry left for home already. He wonders how his Christmas will be. 

He sits on the steps, waiting for his mum to come. She shows up, and the girls are in the fucking backseat. 

They sprint out, hugging him. Louis swoops them in his arms. 

"Happy birthday!" They shout in sync. 

"Thanks ladies. It's going to be a great birthday since I'm seeing you now." 

They smile, pulling his hand so he can sit in the backseat with them. They have their laptop, Frozen playing on the screen. He sits back there, watching it with them the ride home. 

...

Louis' mum promised Deo wouldn't come. She did ask him if he's considering getting a job yet. Louis just rolled his eyes. 

His Nona got him a really nice watch. It wasn't necessarily to spend that much money on him, he insisted. But she wanted to so badly. 

He loves his Nona. Probably the best person in his life. 

He got texts from some people. Old family members, old High School friends. Zayn and Niall texted him. He hasn't heard anything from Harry, though. He doesn't mind. He's probably busy with his mum. 

He's sitting by the fire with Phoebe and Daisy. They are drinking hot chocolate, all wearing long, fuzzy socks. They got him a pair for his birthday. He can't complain. 

"It's supposed to snow tonight," Daisy says smiling. 

"If it does you have to take us sledding after presents!" Phoebe says and Louis nods. 

"Of course I will." 

"Louis, your phone is ringing." His Nona says. 

He nods, quickly standing up and hurrying to his phone in his room. 

It's Harry. 

His eyes widen a little, but he answers it quickly before the call ends. 

"Hello?" 

The line is silent a little, before a panicked voice runs through his ear. "Um, happy birthday." 

Then it ends. 

He pulls the phone away, staring at it confused. He barely understood what Harry said because he said it so quickly. 

He walks back into the living room, staring down at his phone. He goes to text Harry, asking what the hell just happened. But Harry beats him to it. 

_"Sorry. Happy b-day. Hope you had a good day."_

He chuckles a little. _"Just fine. Thx curly"_

He sits back down, phone placed by his feet. The girls are singing and dancing to Christmas music. He watches with a smile. 

His phone buzzes, and he picks it back up. He didn't expect Harry to be texting him at all.

_"What did you do?"_

He smiles, sitting back to take a video. He makes sure to get all their matching socks in it. The girls look so happy. It's very nice. 

He sends the video to Harry. 

"You girls should have your own show."

They nod, trying to get Nona to dance. She's knitting a sweater, most definitely won't get up.

His phone buzzes again and he's already smiling before reading the text. 

_"Those your little sisters? I like the socks."_

_"Yea, Phoebe and Daisy"_

_"They seem happy. Guessing it's because you're around."_

He smiles to himself. _"Yea"_

_"Just wanted to text you. Hope your birthday continues being good. Merry Christmas, Lou. Hope to see you New Years"_

_"You too, Harry_ "

He puts down his phone, an uncontrollable smile on his face. He knows he should be annoyed with Harry. But he just can't. He likes him too much. He hates it. 

"Come on Lou, this one's your favorite," Daisy says when Rocking around the Christmas Tree comes on. He sighs, standing up to dance with the girls. And he does feel happy. 

...

Christmas morning it did snow. The girls were incredibly happy. His mum got him money for Christmas, which was surprising. The girls got a new bike to share. After opening, he took them sledding. It was really fun. 

And he decided he is going to Zayn's uncle's for New Years. He hasn't gotten a proper New Year's kiss ever. And he wants it to be Harry. Maybe enough drinks, it's possible. Maybe he can step it up. Maybe he can finally do something for himself. 

Him and Liam are driving by themselves. Zayn Niall and Harry already headed up yesterday. 

They are supposed to get there just in time for the party, which is okay. Louis is wearing a buttoned up shirt, and he's in the passenger seat drinking. He's surely going to be drunk before he gets there, but that's okay. 

He's not wearing any of that stupid makeup, and his face still looks pretty bad. He didn't even know he he hit him that bad. Kidding. That hit hurt. 

The ride is long and once they are there, Louis and Liam run into the club. They will go to hotel later that night, Zayn said he already had a ride back ready for them at three. 

His eyes go straight to Harry. He's wearing this beautiful suit. He looks absolutely stunning. He can't even explain it, but fuck, he just wants to kiss him. Kiss him everywhere. His lips, his nose, his dimples. Tell him a million times he's beautiful. 

He doesn't even know what he's thinking anymore. He's drunk. 

"Hey," he says approaching. He doesn't greet Niall or Zayn. Only Harry. 

Harry smiles. He see's his eyes going straight to his cheek. His smile fades a little, but it's not obvious. "Hello." 

"How was your Christmas?" Louis asks while going to hug Harry. Yes he fucking goes to hug him. That's not like him and Harry obviously wasn't expecting it, because he doesn't even hug back.

He pulls back and Harry looks completely thrown off. 

"Yeah, it was fine. Yours?" He coughs. 

Louis nods. "Went sledding with the girls. It was a nice day." 

Harry forces a smile. "That's good."

"Let's get a drink," Louis says grabbing Harry's wrist, bringing him to the bar. 

He sits down and Harry is obviously scared or something. He ignores it. 

"Are you going to be drinking anything?" He asks. 

Harry shrugs. "Should I?"

"New year, new you," Louis can't finish it with a straight face. He's giggling, covering his mouth. Harry smiles at him. 

"I'll just have one. I don't want to be drunk."

"You're obviously the parent of all of us. Not like that's a bad thing, though." Louis says drinking and Harry shrugs.

"I'm a good man, Louis Tomlinson."

"I know. What'd you do on Christmas?" 

"Just ate out with my mum. She wasn't sad because I was there. I know she's sad when I'm not around, though," he frowns. Louis nods.

"It's okay." 

"Yeah." 

"I'm happy it snowed. It can't be Christmas without it." 

"I don't like snow. Last time I went skiing, I fell and I ran into a tree," he tilts his head up, showing a faded scar on his neck, "Got this scar from it." 

"What about the one on your head?" Louis blurts out.

Fuck, fuck. He didn't mean to ask that. Now Harry is going to fucking be mad.

"No." 

He just nods, thankfully. Harry seems a little off, but he won't keep talking about it.

"I'll never get over how clumsy you are." 

He smiles a little. He looks down at his feet, pulling up his nice pants. Louis' eyes widen when he sees the gold boots.

He looks up. "The gold boots!" He says excitedly.

Harry laughs. "Yeah. Decided to wear them."

"I love them. Look really nice on you! Gold boots to match a gold heart!" Louis blurts out. What is he even saying?

Harry lets his pants fall back down, tilting his head questioning. "What?"

He sighs. "Your boots match your heart. A heart of gold? Doesn't ring a bell?"

Harry smiles widely. "Thank you."

Louis stares at his lips. He's moving in closer. The drinks are getting to him, especially with Harry being right there. He's going to kiss him. He drunkenly pouts out his lips, leaning closer.

Harry notices, he tries flinching away. 

"Um, you look nice. I like your button up." He says, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Mm?" Louis asks, still leaning in. 

Harry stands up and Louis makes a face. 

"I'm going to talk to Zayn," Harry says walking away quickly. 

What the hell? Does Harry not want Louis to kiss him? 

He stands up, following him. Harry is by Liam and Zayn now, and watches Louis approach with panicked eyes. 

Louis is mad. And hurt? Does Harry actually not like him that way? 

What is he thinking. Of course he doesn't. No one would like someone like him, especially Harry. Jesus Christ, what was he thinking? 

Niall walks up to Louis. "Don't even say hey to your best friend?" 

Louis glares at Harry. Once again. Drunk and mad at Harry. 

He looks at Niall, smiling. "Hey." 

"You didn't take home your present. I was disappointed." 

"Shut up. I bet you used it." 

Niall laughs, shaking his head. 

Louis looks at Harry who is staring at him. Why does he do that? 

Louis grabs Niall's wrist, pulling him away.

He goes to a crowded area. Niall's confused. 

"What's up?" 

"I want to fucking kiss Harry. He obviously doesn't want to kiss me back." 

Niall's eyes widen. "Wait, what?" 

"Yeah. I like Harry, it's no shocker. You're the only one I'm going to tell. So don't tell anyone. But I'm pissed now."

"Oh...oh wow. I wasn't expecting that." 

"Yeah." 

"I don't know, Louis," he laughs, "I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I'm still horny. I'm going to find someone later. Let's go do stuff, I'm bored. I need more shots." 

Niall doesn't disagree. They go, doing shots. Louis doesn't know how long they are there, he just knows he ends up with a guy taken shots of his stomach, and he's giggling like crazy. Niall's cheering them on completely. 

When done, he jumps back on the ground, looking at the guy. 

"You're something," he laughs, shaking his head. 

He's hot. Really built, not too tall. He could surely use him for tonight, since Harry doesn't want shit to do with him. 

"I know I am."

The guy is smiling. "What's your name?" 

"Louis!" He's shouting. He's drunk and pretending to be over happy.

"I'm Peter." 

"Very well. You're hot," Louis says with a toothy grin. He laughs. 

"Well, thanks. I like your attitude." 

"I know. I have a good one. Hey, say, it's about ten till the New Year," Louis shrugs, "It might be new year, but still same me. I'm horny." 

Peter furrows eyebrows. "Seriously?" 

"Too much?" 

"I'm drunk, but nearly as much as you. I'll be fine to be your new year's kiss, though."

"Perfect," Louis smiles, looking over at Niall who is talking to this girl, shockingly, "Yo, Nialler! Got me first year's kiss!" 

Niall nods, pumping his hand in the air, "Me too!" He shows the girl. 

Louis gives him an in the air high five, looking back at Peter.

"Needed this. You're the best." 

"You around here?" He asks, laughing, "Never seen you round." 

"Nah. Me friend's uncle owns a hotel around here. Just headed down for a couple days."

He nods. "Nice." 

Louis is drinking next to the guy silently when he sees Harry shyly approaching him. He doesn't look at him completely. He just sees him coming from the corner of the eye, and he doesn't look. 

"So, Peter, you should totally pretend you're completely into me. I'm mad at this guy and I want to ignore him." 

He laughs. "Want to make him jealous?" 

"Not necessarily. It's just tiring, you know? He is." 

Peter nods. "Is he the guy trying to approach you?" 

He nods.

"Fine. I know how it is to want to make someone jealous," Peter leans in closer, smiling at Louis, "You do have really pretty eyes. Baby blue." 

Louis smirks. "Yeah. Possibly." 

Peter leans in, going to nibble on Louis' ear. "Or I could do something like this?" 

Louis is basically giggling. 

"T-That feels--" 

Peter is now kissing his neck and Louis shivers. 

It's nothing like when Harry did it. He just hasn't _done_ anything in a while, it's something.

Then he hears the countdown begin. Louis isn't even counting down because Peter is still kissing his collarbones. And once the countdown is over, Peter is up to his lips, kissing them. 

Louis closes his eyes. He kisses back. 

But he realizes this isn't him. Making a guy kiss him, just to get to Harry. To try to. Now he's mad at himself. 

Peter pulls away. "Good?" 

Louis can't breathe. "I'm sorry. T-That wasn't like me to do--"

"It's alright. I'm just here with my brother, not doing anything. I don't care." 

Louis turns to look for Harry, who is nowhere to be seen.

"I should go find him. I'm...sorry, Peter, t-thank you."

He nods, saying goodbye as he runs off. He see's Liam basically sleeping on Zayn's lap. He approaches them. 

"Where's Harry?" 

"He left." 

"What?" 

"Yeah. Seemed upset. Just walked out." 

Louis doesn't say anymore, he just walks out himself. It's snowing and he looks to see Harry sitting on the sidewalk. 

He walks next to him, sitting down. 

Harry looks at him sadly. He doesn't look away. "What do you want?"

He shrugs. "Why you out here?" 

"Because I suck." 

Louis nods. "Yeah, you do." 

Harry frowns a little. "I just...I don't know what to do." 

Whatever. Louis is drunk. It's a new year. He is going to tell Harry. He has to. He has to do something good for himself just one time. 

"Well, I think it's obvious I like you. Which is strange for me. I don't like anyone. Ever. I never have. You. You're the only one."

"Louis--" 

"I just want to kiss you, God damn it, Harry. I do, I really do." 

Harry's watching him with sad eyes. And he doesn't stop staring. 

But it's shocking when Harry leans in. And he kisses Louis. He places his own lips on Louis' and just kisses him. Softly, gently, and shortly. 

He pulls away, and he has tears in his eyes. Louis stares at him, not knowing what to say. 

"I'm scared."

"I am too," Louis says barely audible. 

Harry bites his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes shut. And he cries. And Louis just wraps his arm around him, pulling him close. Harry lets his head fall in, crying into Louis' chest. 

It's cold as the snow falls, but it's his last worry. 

"My ex-boyfriend tried to kill us." 

 

 


	27. XXVII

Louis feels his body freeze. 

"What?" He asks shocked. He basically shouts it. What the hell does he mean his ex-boyfriend tried to kill them? He's going to fucking puke. 

Harry doesn't talk, he's just silently crying. Louis' heart is pounding out of his chest. He wants to cry. Fuck, he can't even think. 

"Harry," he says trying to look at his face. Harry won't look him in the eyes.

"Do you just want to go to the hotel?" Louis asks gently. He's basically already standing before Harry nods slowly. 

"Stay here," he says, Harry still won't look at him. He goes into the club, finding Zayn. 

"Harry and I are going back, can you call someone to get us?" Louis sounds panicked. 

"Yeah, what's wrong?" He asks getting out his phone, thankfully. 

"Just tired," he mumbles. 

Zayn eyes him and he knows what's going on. But he doesn't seem to care. He seems relieved, if anything. 

"Coming," Zayn says getting off the phone, "Five minutes." 

"Thanks, see you," Louis says.

He hurries back out to see Harry fucking shivering. He bends down, wrapping his arms around Harry. 

"You're like this big teddy bear to me," Louis tries to lighten the mood. He doesn't do anything. 

Louis just puts his cheek against Harry's, waiting for the car. 

It pulls up and they get in the backseat. Harry just plays with the rings on his finger. The ride isn't long at all. Louis looks to Harry. 

"You have the room card, yeah?"

He nods, leading the way. Louis follows behind, beyond worried. He wants to cry. He just feels bad. It wasn't what he expected. At all. 

They get in the room, Harry goes over towards the bed. He sits on the edge, back facing Louis. He slowly approaches the bed himself, rubbing Harry's back. 

"I was sixteen when I met George. I don't know. I tutored him in some classes. We got close, got together. He was fine. We were together for a while. Then, I got drunk. I was at a party, and I cheated on him. I just...I was so bored with him. He never did anything with me, so I made a stupid, drunk mistake. He saw me cheating on him. So I tried to make it better. Ran after him. He was drunk too, so it wasn't smart."

He's talking so softly, Louis can barely hear him. But he listens clearly.

"He got in his car, and I followed. I was so mad at myself and I felt fucking horrible. He never did anything wrong. He was so innocent. I was just completely an asshole. So he was driving really fast, and I was screaming at him, trying to apologize. He was going insane. Then I just remember, he purposely served the car. It spun about three times. I wasn't buckled, I swear, I thought I was going to fucking die. I didn't. He didn't either, but he's brain dead. Has been asleep ever since. So I guess, basically, he is dead." 

Louis' heart is beating. He had no fucking idea. 

"I just remembered I covered my head. I felt a piece of glass cut my forehead, so I ducked. My body, you obviously saw, was more injured. There was so much blood in the car. I passed out, then woke up in the hospital."

Louis rubs his back. That is horrible. There was nothing he could have done different. And that is scary. 

Harry gulps. "That man trying to speak to me is his brother. He wants me to tell him what happened. He think it's my fault. And it is. But I can't fucking say that. That pit in my stomach is always there. I'm just such a fucking bad person."

His voice is cracking again and Louis moves so he's sitting on the edge of the bed now. His legs are against Harry's. He can kind of see his face, but he's trying to hide it. 

He slowly looks Louis in the eyes though. "Him. George. You remind me of him. Just...the way you act, sometimes. The sweet sarcasm. How sensitive you are. And it scares me. Because you're also nothing like him, at all. Just sometimes I look at you, and you remind me of him, and I'll get scared. I don't know if it's that, even. I'm scared to mess up another relationship, I guess."

Louis blinks. He didn't expect that either.

"You're perfect, Louis. I could never hurt you." 

But that did hurt. Those words did hurt.

"You also...ever since that happened, I'm terrified to sleep. When I close my eyes I just feel the accident all over again. But when I'm sleeping with somebody else, it goes away. So that's why I try to get around. Just so I can fucking sleep."

He shakes his head, looking away. "But when I sleep with you, it's this calmness I've never felt. I feel so at peace, sleeping with you in my presence. It's like I've been waiting for you, like you're my miracle or something. That scares me even more." 

Louis runs his hand over his face. He has nothing to say. He doesn't know how to put anything into words. He just feels awful. 

"I just can't do it. It's so hard, Louis. So fucking hard."

He looks back at him, teary eyed. Louis just nods.

"I understand." 

He keeps staring, before looking back down at his hands to play with his rings. "You're an amazing person. And I appreciate it that you're trying to make me happy. But...I am happy when I'm with you. It's just me. It's what I did that is always stuck in my mind. When I'm with you, I forget about it. And I do feel like I am a good person. At least, you make me feel like a good person. I need you, but I feel selfish." 

"There's no need to feel selfish." 

"You're better than me. Better than I ever will be. I like you. I do, I know I do. I just can't bare to hurt you."

Louis shakes his head. "You won't hurt me. I trust you, Harry. You're not like that anymore. It was just one drunk mistake."

"There can always be a second." 

He sighs. "You can't think that way."

"How can I not?" 

He knows this situation is hard. It's so complicated. But he really trusts Harry. 

"Have you ever talked about this?" 

"Not to anyone. I can't. I don't even want to talk to you about it, it's just...I kept seeing your sad eyes and how much you wanted to know. How much you wanted to try and help me, I had to tell you. I don't want to make you upset." 

"I didn't want you to feel pressured." 

"But I did want to tell you at the same time, because I trust you," he continues, "You're the closest person in my life, as of now. I can't lose you."

I can't lose you. Those words repeat in Louis' mind over and over again. 

All this time he's scared Harry was running away from him. But he wasn't.

"I'm here," he says tilting his head, "Curly, I'm always there. I'm so far up your arse, I'm shocked you aren't begging me to get the hell away from you." 

That luckily makes Harry chuckle. He looks back at Louis. "Thank you."

He smiles. "It's a new year! So new us, why don't you say? I think we'll be the hottest people around this small area of London." 

Harry shakes his head, fighting a smile. 

"Let's go to sleep." He taps Harry's leg, scooting onto the bed and under the covers. Harry stands up, walking over and joining him. 

He faces Louis this time, watching him as his head is on the pillow. He gives a small smile. 

Louis reaches over, tucking Harry's long hair behind his ear. "You're looking at me like you're waiting for me to tell you a bedtime story." 

"Maybe I am." 

He raises his eyebrows. "So I see." 

Harry chuckles, closing his eyes. "I love listening to you talk. It's soothing." 

He smiles to himself. And he starts talking for Harry. "There once was this boy named Harry. He was in first grade, very little. Had very curly hair, people at school thought he was a lion." 

Harry laughs loudly, a very beautiful sound.

"Everyone at school wanted to be his friend. Because...he was Harry. Who didn't want to be his friend? He was the smartest kid in first grade. Everyone looked up to him. There was this one day though, he wore these gold boots to class. Everyone came up with one possibly theory. And that was Harry had to be a superhero." 

Harry is smiling when he opens his eyes to look at Louis. He continues staring, smiling widely. 

"He wasn't no superman, no. He was batman. Obviously. I mean...even Batman, makes mistake. But no one looks into that forever. They focus more on the good things, because when the good overpowers the bad, that's all that matters. Harry was this amazing kid. He still is to this day. People still look up to the lion kid with the gold boots, thinking he's this amazing superhero." 

Harry isn't smiling anymore. He's just staring at Louis. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He turns around, shoving his back into Louis' chest. So Louis wraps his arm around his chest. 

"Goodnight, Lou." 

"Night Harry," he says, nuzzling his nose into Harry's hair. 

He feels Harry's hands playing with his finger, and he starts thinking. 

Harry's ex actually tried to kill them both. Harry used to get drunk, from what he can guess. And he cheated on his boyfriend. 

Lots of people make that mistake. It doesn't necessarily make them a horrible person. Yeah, cheating is the worst thing you can do. But you can't undo it. Harry is a good person. You can just tell when someone is genuine. It sucks Harry had to make a mistake like that. 

He let's the smell of Harry's hair take over him, while he falls into a sleep, wondering what the hell is going to happen between him and Harry now.


	28. XXVIII

Louis wakes up with a headache. And a large arm wrapped around his chest, almost near his neck where it's practically choking him. 

He looks at Harry and frowns. His eyes go to his scar and he thinks immediately of last night. The poor kid. 

He reaches over, attempting at least, to reach over and run his hand gently on his hair. 

Louis hates it, but he is basically looking at Harry like he's a baby. He just feels so bad for him. He can't imagine. 

They were both drunk and everything just happened all at once, horribly. 

He decides on going downstairs to get Harry and him some coffee. He'll be glad to wake up to that, hopefully. 

He slides under Harry's grip, putting a pillow down in place of him. Harry wraps his arm around that easily. He smiles before grabbing the card, then walking out the door. 

He approaches the small cafe, ordering two coffees. It takes longer than it should, so Louis stands impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground. He wonders when the others came strolling in, and what they are going to do today. They leave tomorrow. 

When the coffee is done he grabs the two of them, heading back upstairs. He puts the coffees down, sliding the card in and pushing the door open hard, before bending down to grab the coffee's so he can hurry in. 

But he hears a loud bang in the process of this, and a very loud groan after. He peaks his head in, looking to see Harry behind the door grabbing at the very top of his head. 

"Oh my God," Louis says going to put the coffee down on something before going to Harry. 

He shuts the door as he bends down on one knee to see Harry still grabbing on to the top of his head. 

"What were you doing behind there?" He asks shaking his head. 

Harry still doesn't answer. Louis looks down to see he has only one boot on. 

"I was getting my shoes on to go look for you," he says before releasing his head and looking up at Louis, "Damn it." 

Louis chuckles a little. "That had to hurt, I'm sorry."

"Why the hell did you slam it open like it was bolted shut? Fuck, Lou, it hurts," he groans, putting a hand over his face. 

"How the hell was I supposed to know you were going to be there?" 

He sighs, releasing his hand from his face to see his eyes squeezed shut. "I need like, twenty advils."

"Pretty sure that would kill you."

"Either way I'm going to die. My head is about to explode." 

Louis reaches to the top of his head, touching it. Harry flinches but Louis sure feels a bump. 

He sighs. "I was just being nice, getting us both coffee for us to sit in bed and relax."

"I can't sleep without you here. I just wanted to see if you were hanging out with the others downstairs or something." 

He stands to his feet, reaching out both hands for Harry. He grabs them, standing up. He wobbles a little and Louis chuckles. 

"You gave me a fucking concussion." 

"You'll live. Go sit down, I'll bring you coffee and an ice bag." 

He nods, slowly walking back. Louis heads back out of the room to get a small ice bag. When he returns Harry is laying on the bed, eyes closed. 

Okay. He normally would say Harry is being dramatic, that it didn't hurt. But he knows that hurt. He swung it open pretty face and it hit him dead on in the head. Poor guy. Once again. 

He grabs both of their coffees, walking over and jumping on the bed. Harry peaks one eye open, grabbing the coffee. Louis puts the ice bag on his head, holding it there.

"You don't have to hold it," Harry mumbles closing his eyes as he attempts to drink his coffee laying down. 

"I caused this mess, didn't I?" He watches Harry trying to do this, and it's definitely the cutest thing. 

"Yeah." 

"How're you, besides the door incident?" 

He doesn't move a muscle. "I'm good. You?" 

"Just dandy." 

Harry chuckles. "Dandy." 

"You making fun of the way I speak?" 

"Never." 

"I'm watching you, Styles." 

"I know you are. I can feel your eyes piercing through me even with my eyes closed."

Louis chuckles. "You aren't wrong." 

"I'm never wrong." 

"Alright, bird brain."

Harry chuckles and Louis already sees it happening as Harry's fingers slip off his coffee. The cup tilts sideways on his chest, spilling all over him and the bed. Louis grabs the cup quickly, facing it upwards as Harry lifts his head, ice bag falling off in the process.

"This is seriously a joke," Harry groans and Louis is more concerned about the coffee like...burning?

"Didn't that burn your skin?" Louis asks panicked, "It's still pretty hot?"

Harry shakes his head, sitting up straight. "It's gross. I smell like coffee."

He watches him a little bit before deciding to ignore it. Maybe it's not that hot. "Well, it is coffee that you spilled on yourself."

"Fuck, I'm a mess," he groans, "I'm taking a shower."

Louis chuckles a little. "Okay, sunshine."

That makes Harry smile, really smile at Louis before grabbing some clothes and heading into the shower. 

Louis gets his phone as Harry showers to text Liam. 

_"What we up to today ?"_

He places the phone on the bed as he goes through channels on the telly. He leaves on some football as he gets a text from Liam. 

_"Big suprise !!!"_

He laughs a little because Liam sure can't type to save his life. He just puts his phone back down, waiting for Harry to come out. 

He takes a long ass shower though. The water turns off in problem fifteen minutes. Then it's another five minutes before he comes strolling out fully dressed, hair wet down his face. 

Harry gives an awkward smile. 

"I thought you drowned in there," Louis jokes and Harry laughs. 

"I take long showers."

"As I can tell." 

Harry is putting his stained clothes into a baggy. Louis watches him, no shocker. He smiles. His hair is so long and messy. He looks like...Tarzan. Yeah. He looks like Tarzan with his hair wet like that, upon his face. 

"You look like Tarzan," Louis smiles at him. 

He looks up raising both eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

Louis shrugs. "Just as I said. You look like Tarzan with your hair wet." 

Harry frowns and blushes. "Isn't t-that a bad thing?" 

"No. You look adorable." 

"But Tarzan is that freak who lives in a jungle. Wouldn't necessarily call that adorable," Harry mumbles, walking back over to sit on the bed with Louis.

"Oh, Harry. Are you really calling Tarzan a freak just because he lives in the jungle? You shouldn't judge a person of their home." 

"Well, if they swing from tree to tree and act like an ape, I'm probably going to be a little freaked out," he's smiling now. Louis joins him. 

"Can you stop? I'm trying to tell you that you look cute! Accept my compliment! Say thank you!" 

He chuckles. "I don't really think I should say thanks for being called Tarzan." 

"Whatever. Just for that I should call you monkey boy." 

"Fine."

Louis shakes his head. Then he reminds how he smacked Harry.

"How is your head doing?" 

"Not going to lie. Still hurts like a bitch."

He chuckles. "You are actually accident prone." 

"Shut up." 

"Pigeon feet, bird brain. Wow, curly. Who knew?" 

"Stop," Harry laughs a little, blushing as he crosses his legs. He grabs his feet, leaning backwards. 

"You're going to fall off."

"No I'm not." 

Louis looks down. There are pillows below him. He won't get hurt. 

"Even if I give you a little tap you'll fall," Louis says as he does it. He pushes Harry's chest a little, and Harry sure goes to fall back. But he grabs Louis' wrist. He tumbles down with him. 

Harry thankfully does land on the pillows, but Louis smacks his foot on the hard part of the bed as the go down. His face lands on Harry's chest. Then he adjusts himself, placing both hands on both sides of Harry's face, pushing himself up to look down at him. 

He smiles a little, looking straight into Louis' eyes. "I hate you." 

"I doubt that." 

"So much." 

"No you don't." 

"What if I told you my head is worst now?" 

Louis frowns. "Is it really?" 

Harry nods, laughing a little. 

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Harry." 

"S'okay." 

He's frowning still looking down at Harry. Harry makes a little bit of a funny face. Louis chuckles. 

Then Harry sticks his tongue out, pushing his head up and licking the very tip of Louis' nose. 

"Blech," Louis blurts out, pushing himself off Harry and wiping his nose.

He hears Harry laughing as he pushes himself up. 

"Gotcha." 

He narrows his eyes at Harry. "Weird one, you are." 

Harry shrugs, standing up. "What're we doing today?" 

"Liam said we have a big suprise."

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "Suprise? You mean surprise?" 

Louis laughs. "Liam typed big suprise, so." 

"Oh," Harry says laughing a little, "Got you." 

"We should probably be heading out any minute. Go downstairs and see if they are there. I'll get ready." 

Harry nods, looking at Louis before going outside. 

Louis just gets changed, brushing his teeth and hair. Harry's back, sitting on the bed. 

"So what--"

There's a loud scream and Louis basically jumps out of his skin, swinging his arm and smacking...Niall. Niall's the one who scared him. He's not surprised. 

"Fuck you," Louis shouts. 

He hears Harry laughing along with Niall. 

"You're too easy," Niall says and Louis rolls his eyes. 

"What are we doing, bastards?" Louis mumbles, throwing his dirty clothes into the bag. 

"You'll see. Consider this your late birthday present. From all of us," Niall smiles, "It's all Harry's idea." 

Louis turns to Harry. His cheeks are a little flushed as he stands. "Erm, yeah." 

He decides to embarrass Harry. So he goes over to him, cupping his cheeks in both his hands. "Aw, Harry!" 

He smiles, grabbing Louis' wrists, pulling them away. "Don't do that." 

Louis laughs, walking out behind Niall. Harry follows, obviously. 

Zayn and Liam are downstairs, smiling. 

"You ready?" Liam asks Louis. 

He looks around. They are all fucking smiling. 

"You guys look really fucking creepy, like you are planning to murder me. What is this?" 

"You'll see. Come on. It's a bit of a drive." 

...

They go to the fucking Keepmoat Stadium, home of the Doncaster Rovers. Louis' favorite football team. 

His eyes are wide, like he's a fucking kid. 

He's never been able to go to a football game. He knew they were playing today, but holy shit. He's about to shit himself. Literally. 

He steps out of the car, staring at the stadium. 

An arm is wrapped around him, he turns to see Liam. 

"Finally mate," he smiles but Louis is just in wonderland. 

"Harry called me up, asked me about your favorite football team. I told him, and said how you've never been. He was shocked."

Louis turns to Harry now who is walking up. Liam unwraps his arm. 

"Okay, I stuffed this in my coat, so it's going to be wrinkly," Harry says, unzipping his coat and pulling out a jersey. He hands it to Louis. 

Louis is smiling widely to see his own Doncaster Rovers jersey, his own last name on the back. He looks up to Harry, beaming. 

"What the hell are you?" He asks and Harry laughs nervously. 

"Huh?"

"Why'd you do all this...Jesus Christ, I'm so overwhelmed." 

He shrugs. "Don't know. Wanted to do something nice for your birthday. And plus, my cousin gets good stuff for these games. Wait till you see our seats, love." 

Love. 

God, Louis fucking adores Harry. He could kiss him right now. 

"You're the fucking best," Louis says. 

"Come on, Grandpa's, game starts soon," Niall says. 

Louis turns around to look at Harry and walk with him. Harry has his hands in his pocket as Louis attempts to put on his jersey. He gets stuck. 

He hears Harry chuckle a little. "Let me help."

The jersey is pulled down and he smiles. "Thanks."

"You really have never went to any professional football game? I'm not a big fan, but I've been to a few games."

He shakes his head. "Never had anyone to take me, never had the money..." Oh God. The money. This has to be a fortune for Harry. "Harry, how much did you spend? I have to pay you back."

Harry shakes his head. "No, no. This is my gift to you. You don't pay anything."

"Harry, this has to be a fortune." 

"Louis," he says sternly, "Don't worry about it, and worry about the game or something." 

He rolls his eyes. He doesn't know what to do. He feels awful. 

They get in and fucking...they are literally in the first row. He wants to punch Harry. So fucking bad. 

They sit down and Louis is honestly just mad and overwhelmed. But Harry is smiling widely. 

"I fucking hate you," Louis spits and Harry just laughs. 

"You'll forget about it soon. Especially when the game begins. Now please, my little Louis, no need for the temper now." 

He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. "I'll pay you back." 

Harry reaches his arm out. "You could punch me in the arm, if you'd like." 

It's almost like Harry can read his mind. He probably can, to be quite honest.

"Shut up," he giggles. Harry just smiles. 

The game starts and Louis has never been so thrilled in his life. He's happy. Fuck, he's so happy. Especially with all his friends there, with Harry there, cheering to the game as well, just something he's never been able to experience. 

Louis is at the edge of the seat, and Harry is currently fixing his hair when the players are close. The ball goes out, and of course, _of course_ , goes straight to Harry. It knocks him in the side of the head. 

He just falls into Louis. He buries his head into Louis' chest, groaning. 

Louis laughs, wrapping his arm around his shoulders and rubbing his arm. 

"That was my pay back," he teases and he just feels Harry shake his head. 

He laughs a little, and he... he goes to kiss Harry's head. He kisses the top of his head, for as long as he can. 

Harry stays put a little after, pulling away to look up to Louis, who keeps his arm wrapped. 

And Harry just smiles at him. "You should be watching the game."

He looks down at Harry's lips, then back into his eyes. Honestly, Harry is much better than the game ever will be. 

But he just gives a crinkled smile, before looking back at the game. 

And Harry wraps his arm around Louis' stomach, hiding his head again. 

"If I get hit in the head once more today, I'll be sure to die. I'm just going to stay like this so you can protect me," Harry mumbles so gently, Louis' heart flutters for some reason. 

He just nods, rubbing Harry's arm. "I got you." 

He watches the rest of the game, holding onto Harry as Harry holds onto him.

He never thought he would be this happy.

 

 


	29. XXIX

Harry doesn't stop holding onto Louis during the entire game. If it's just holding his hand onto his arm, arm wrapped around his stomach, shoulder against shoulder, Harry is always making sure they are touching each other. 

Louis doesn't mind. It's just weird. He feels so much closer to Harry. He's never had something like this in his life. 

The Rovers lose, but Louis doesn't mind. He was still able to experience it live, thanks to Harry. 

They walk out and Louis has to have his hand on Harry's back because he claimed his head still hurts. 

"I'm sorry, that was the funniest thing I've seen this year so far," Niall says laughing, "Harry, that nailed you straight in the head." 

"Why didn't you stop it, Lou?" Liam asks shaking his head. 

Louis shrugs. "It was one of those moments you just watch and you don't react. It was pretty funny," Louis smiles widely looking to Harry's face who just shakes his head. 

"It wasn't the first time today. Louis had no problem slamming the door to my head." 

"No idiot bends down right behind a door, Harry, honestly." 

He shrugs and Louis laughs. 

"At this rate I definitely have a concussion." 

"You're fine," Louis says rubbing his back. 

Harry turns to look at Louis. "No. I'm serious. I think I have a concussion."

"Why do you say that?"

"I've had one before." 

"Really? Oh my? No way?" Louis acts surprised. Harry smacks his arm. 

They get to the car and Louis sits in the middle between Niall and Harry. 

Harry has his head leaned back, eyes closed. He really does look in pain. 

"Wait, Harry, are you serious?" Louis asks frowning. 

He just nods slowly. He does look white. 

"Oh fuck. Yeah, we should go get him checked out," Louis says turning to Zayn.

Zayn laughs. "Alright." 

"Go comfort your boyfriend," Niall says elbowing Louis. He gives a look. 

"We're not dating," Louis says loud enough for everyone in the small car to hear. 

But then he hears Harry puking. He snaps his head and looks down. Some of the vomit got on his shoes. He tries backing away so no more gets on his shoes. 

"No!" Niall shouts, "Get off me!" 

Louis looks at Harry frowning. "Jesus Christ, Harry. I'm so sorry." 

He runs his hand through his hair, closing his eyes again. "Sorry Zayn."

"Good thing my uncle runs the hotel, I'll get someone to clean it," he mumbles. 

Louis puts a hand on Harry's thigh, squeezing a little. Harry doesn't flinch. 

They get to the care place, or whatever it is. Harry walks in normally. He just looks a little dazed. 

"Want me to come in?" Louis asks. 

Harry hasn't spoken to him yet. He just shakes his head, not looking him in the eye as he goes in. That's strange. 

Louis sighs, going to Niall. Liam and Zayn stayed in the car.

"You really slammed a door to his head? No wonder he got a concussion," Niall laughs. 

"Shut up, I was getting us coffee." 

"Funny stuff." He turns to look him in the eyes. "What's going on between you two now?" 

Louis shrugs. He really doesn't know. They weren't able to talk about anything yet, really. From their discussion last night. He remembers the kiss, obviously. That Harry kissed him. He doesn't know if it was from pity, though. 

"I'm not sure yet," he answers honestly. 

"Would you date him?" Niall asks biting his nail. 

Louis makes a little face. He hates when Niall does that. He pulls his hand away from his mouth, making Niall roll his eyes. "I don't know. Does it matter?" 

"It might."

"I want to, maybe. I'm not sure. I just don't know how." 

"What do you mean you don't know how?" 

"To be a boyfriend." 

Niall shrugs. "You don't need to know. It's just how you guys are with each other." 

Louis nods. They stand waiting in silence for Harry. 

He comes out in about less than ten minutes. 

Louis hurries over to him. 

Harry looks at him. "Yeah. I have a concussion." 

He frowns. "I literally gave you a concussion." 

"Is this your Christmas present for me? Giving me a concussion?" He's happy seeing Harry joke, smirking a little as he speaks. 

"I'm sorry," Louis laughs shaking his head. 

"Come on, concussion boy, we're going out to dinner," Niall says grabbing both their hands dragging them to the car. 

"So?" Zayn asks as they sit in the car.

"Yeah."

Zayn chuckles. "I remember last time."

"Shut up," Harry laughs shaking his head.

Louis turns to look at him. "What happened last time?" 

"Harry made a complete fool of himself, in front of the whole school. It was hilarious," Zayn's laughing harder.

"Okay, I was blindfolded and my partner clearly didn't care to stop me." 

"You weren't stopping! She was yelling for you to stop!" 

"I wanted to win!" 

Louis looks at Niall who shrugs. 

Harry smiles, looking at Louis then. 

"I volunteered at one of those assemblies for our Junior year. It was like an obstacle thing. I was blind folded. Had to spin ten times and run to the finish line. I fell like, twice. But then I got back up and ran again. I ran straight into the fucking wall," Harry laughs. Louis smiles watching him laugh at the memory.

"It was so funny," Zayn continues. 

"You're such an idiot," Louis shakes his head.

Harry looks at him. "Hey." 

"No offense," Louis adds making Harry smile with his dimples. 

"None taken. I'm always getting hurt," Harry shrugs. 

"We're just going to go out for dinner now," Liam says, "Is that alright? Harry, you don't need to rest?" 

"I can when we're done," he shrugs. 

"Good." 

Louis stares at Harry. Harry then turns to look at him with the smallest smirk at his lips. 

"You need to stop doing that." 

"Sorry love," Louis says and Harry just smiles a little wider, going to look out the window. Louis continues to stare. 

...

"Yeah, Louis literally started a fight with someone because they said they didn't like his shoes," Niall laughs and Louis covers his face. 

"I was annoyed." 

"You don't do that when a guy is twenty times bigger than you! You were bound to get hurt. I couldn't believe it," Niall continues.

"Everyone is bigger than Louis," Harry jokes. Louis smacks his chest. 

"Shut up!" 

"There were other times too when Louis would get so drunk, he danced around half naked. One time this kid drew stuff all over his body. He had the writing on for a week." 

"It wouldn't come off," Louis mumbles. 

"Fucking crazy," Niall mumbles, leaning back. 

"I have to live with him," Liam sighs, Louis kicks his feet under the table. 

"You worship me." 

"Was it good drawings?" Zayn asks. 

Louis laughs. "Considering dicks and other inappropriate words were all over my body, you tell me."

Zayn chuckles. "Dear God."

He turns to Harry who is just staring at him, chin in hand. 

"Can I help you curly?"

"Just doing as you do." 

He tilts his head a little, smiling before carrying a long a new conversation. 

It's a nice night, all of them joking and talking. And Louis doesn't drink. It's nice for once not to drink anything, to remain sober. 

When they get back Harry and Louis go into their room. 

"You need to rest," Louis says kicking off his shoes. 

"I do," Harry says. Louis stands up straight after taking off his shoes, bumping into Harry. 

Harry was literally standing right on his ass. 

"Back off," Louis teases, pushing at his chest. 

"I didn't know it was possible for a man to have an ass as curvy as yours," Harry says, squeezing Louis' bum. He yelps, not knowing where the hell this is coming from. 

Louis pushes him again. "Shut up." 

Harry just laughs. "I'm teasing you." 

Louis narrows his eyes, sitting on the bed, turning on the telly. 

Harry walks over. "I can't watch bright screens, you know." 

Louis turns it off, "Oh sorry." 

"S'okay."

He bites his bottom lip. "Then what are we going to do?" 

Harry shrugs. "I'm going to shower." 

He turns around, walking into the bathroom. 

Louis then turns on the TV since he's not going to be out for a while. 

He takes about fifteen minutes in total. 

But Louis' eyes widen when he walks out. Because...fuck. 

His body is still pretty wet along with his hair. His towel is wrapped around his waist, barely, revealing an obvious v-line which is covered with two tattoos. He knew he was toned...but fuck. He moves a little, trying to adjust himself. 

Harry turns around to eye Louis who can't take his eyes off him. 

"Forgot to bring my clothes in there." 

He did not forget. He knows what he's doing.

Louis basically quivers when Harry fucking drops his towel. He lets it fall off revealing a completely naked body. 

He doesn't know how to react so he just smacks his hand over his eyes. 

"Fuck," Louis breathes out. 

"Oops," Harry says amusingly. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Louis shouts still covering his eyes. He opens two of his fingers though to peak through. He has to. Harry is still naked, now completely facing him. He recovers.

"I just dropped my towel." 

"Go get dressed!" Louis shouts.

"Or." 

Louis widens his eyes through his hand. Fuck. He knows what Harry is doing and he can't be doing that. 

He feels a hand on his wrist, pulling it off his face. He just closes his eyes again. 

"Look at me." Harry's voice is stern. Fuck. 

He peaks open one eye, looking at Harry with his hair dripping. Then he opens the other, taking a deep breath. 

"Y-You need to rest." Louis is stuttering. He never fucking stutters. 

He refuses to look at Harry's cock because...fuck. 

"Yeah?" Harry asks placing one knee onto the bed. Louis scoots away. His eyes go to his cock unmeaning. 

"Yeah." 

"Okay. Then help me?" He asks, both knees now on the bed. 

Louis stares at him in complete shock. Then he just sighs. 

"Off the bed." 

Harry raises his eyebrows. 

"Off the bed. I'm going on the floor." 

He then smirks, doing as he says. 

He leans his ass on the bed, Louis hops down, getting on his knees. 

"I fucking hate you. I'm only doing this because I gave you a concussion." 

"I'm sure that's the reason." 

He gives him a look before looking at his cock. He grasps it, doing ridiculously slow strokes before gradually getting to a rapid speed. Louis keeps his grip tight, but also loosening it times so he can barely feel. He strokes the shaft, making sure to do a gentle twisting motion with his wrist. 

"Louis," Harry says throwing his head back. Louis' eyes haven't left his face yet. 

But then he does look down as he moves forward, flicking his tongue at the base. Harry's hands go on Louis' head, going to grab his hair. Louis ignores it as he licks as much as he can, remaining to look at him. Harry's looking down at him as well, breathing heavily. He moves his tongue side to side, wrapping his lips around Harry's cock. Harry's grip on his hair tightens. 

He goes as far as he can, practically gagging but he does not mind. He remains moving back and forth, watching Harry as he moans, yanking at his hair pretty hard. 

"Fuck," he shouts closing his eyes, throwing his head back. Louis is sure to get all the saliva possible on his cock. He tightly closes his mouth again around the shaft, pulling up. He does it multiple times, making Harry quiver. 

He lets his lips stay on tight, all the way down and back up. Harry is taking steady breaths, and Louis stops to look up and smile. Harry looks back down panicked as Louis stokes him with his hands, both hands on top of another, twisting in all directions. 

Harry kicks his leg up a little. "Louis, fuck." 

Louis places his mouth back on it, circling his tongue getting well deserved moans from Harry, making himself hard. Harry's cock is till super wet as he goes to play around with it some more. He lets his tongue play with the most sensitive area on the penis, making Harry grab Louis' hair so hard that he yanks his lips off his cock. But Louis just reacts by grabbing it with his hands to stroke more. 

"Louis," Harry moans squeezing his eyes shut, "I'm going to, fuck," 

So Louis places his lips back on it through the hard grip Harry still has on his hair. He continues to suck until Harry finally comes into his mouth, followed by Louis swallowing. Some gets on his lips, but he uses the back of his hand to wipe it off. 

Harry is sweating and panting, as well as Louis. He just decides to get off the floor, running his hand through his hair. 

"Hope that rested you enough." 

Harry's jaw is clenched as he breathes. He looks at Louis like he's never looked at him before.

"Let me." 

"Ah, no no no. You're the one who needed rest. I'm well rested, Harry," Louis smirks going to sit on the bed. 

Harry turns around, still completely naked and wet. Louis would totally fuck him now, but he won't. 

"Lou." 

He continues to stare, waiting for Harry to speak. 

But he doesn't say anything. He gets clothes, going into the bathroom and getting dressed. Louis' heart is beating fast. Extremely fast. He lets his head fall on the pillow as Harry comes back, basically storming in. 

Louis doesn't have time to react as Harry is fucking on top of him. He has both hands on each side of Louis' face. He slams his lips on his. 

Louis' eyes widen before closing, allowing Harry to kiss him. It's just... a hard kiss. Harry's tongue moves in his mouth, lips pressed against his before pulling away. Harry's hair is still dripping, water getting on Louis' face, but he doesn't mind. 

Harry breathes heavily, looking at Louis. They stare at another. 

He just smirks. "You're staring." 

Then Harry just smiles too, pushing himself off and falling next to Louis, legs intertwined. 

"Fuck." 

"Yeah," Louis agrees. 

"Um, I think it's time for me to go to bed. You know...concussion and all."

"Yeah." 

"Goodnight, Lou." 

"Goodnight, Harry." 

They don't sleep. Or even close their eyes. They are both laying on their backs, legs intertwined still as they listen to each other breathe.

Eventually, Louis closes his eyes. Waiting for sleep to come, which is basically impossible.  

Because fuck.


	30. XXX

Louis wakes up the next morning immediately remembers his mouth around Harry's cock. And fuck. 

He turns to see Harry surprisingly looking down at Louis, smirking. He furrows his eyebrows. 

"What?" 

He laughs, shaking his head. "You were dreaming about me." 

He thinks for a moment and widens his eyes. He starts blushing. Was he really? No he wasn't. He doesn't remember it at all. He's going to throw up. 

Harry starts laughing more, "I'm joking." 

Thank God. 

"Bastard," he huffs, going to stand. 

"We're leaving. I want to get home as soon as possible. We have school tomorrow." 

"Since when does that matter to you?" 

"I need to become a better person. I need to get a job and start acting like an adult." 

Louis doesn't know why he's saying all this, because he really doesn't give a shit. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about sucking his cock. Or kissing him. 

"What makes you say this now?" Harry asks interested. 

"My mum needs me to get a job, anyways. Since we're low on money. I just have no effort to get one. I'm not the most likable person." 

Harry chuckles. "Well in the beginning, you are definitely not likable. But once you get to know you, I guess you are...kind of likable."

"Well, thanks," he rolls his eyes. 

"I'm kidding, Lou. What do you want to do?" 

"I don't care. Something easy."

Harry huffs. "No job is necessarily, easy. That's why it's called a job." 

"I just want to like...do the cashier or something."

"Okay. So find a place to do that?" 

"Yeah. I'm good at math. I'm good with money. I need to start looking." 

Harry nods. "Okay." 

Louis tilts his head. "How's your concussion?" 

"Much better. Like...much better," he's smirking and Louis feels himself blushing. 

"Right." 

Harry laughs. "Yeah." 

"So." 

"Great way to start off the New Year," Harry smirks, getting off the bed himself. He walks by him, leaning his lips on Louis' ear, "It's going to be a good year." 

Then he gets into the bathroom, closing the door. Louis lets out the breath he was holding in. 

Harry's going to fucking kill him one day. 

...

They say their goodbyes before getting into their own cars to go home. Liam and Louis talk throughout the car ride, but Louis doesn't tell him he sucked his cock. He just explains he probably has feelings for him. 

He doesn't know what else to do about this. He can't decide. 

He's in bed, trying to sleep. But he can't. He feels weird without Harry. And he can't help but think Harry isn't sleeping either. Because he did say how he likes sleeping with Louis. 

He goes to grab his phone, and sees a text from Harry. Weird because he was going to text him.

_"Can't sleep."_

_"Me neither. How fast can u get here ?"_

_"Already on my way."_

Louis chuckles a little, placing down his phone and getting up to wait by the door. In a few minutes, there sure enough is a knock at the door. Louis answers it to see a sleepy Harry. 

"Harry!" Louis smiles, "Long time no see." 

He raises his eyebrows. "Miss me?"

"As always." 

Harry smirks as he walks in the door. He easily makes his way to his bedroom, falling into the bed. 

"Someone's anxious to sleep," Louis says getting in the bed. 

Harry is facing Louis. "Love sleeping next to you." 

He smiles. He reaches over, tucking Harry's hair behind his ear. 

"Such pretty hair," Louis says, moving his hand away. 

Harry stares, taking a deep, deep breath. 

"Can you...would you...do you think you could braid my hair?" He mumbles out, squeezing his eyes shut like he's embarrassed he just asked that. And Louis doesn't know why he asked this, but he doesn't care. 

"Why wouldn't I?" Louis asks and Harry reopens his eyes. He just shrugs. 

"I do know how to braid. I learned from the girls, I do it for the girls. I could braid your hair." 

Harry smiles, nodding. He sits up straight, turning so his back is facing Louis. 

He's still confused what made Harry ask him to do this. He doesn't mind, he's just curious. He didn't know Harry was like this. Or wanted this. 

He starts braiding Harry's hair.

"No one will ever braid my hair," he mumbles, "I just wanted to try it. See how it looks. I couldn't do it on myself. I watched so many videos, never could get the hang of it."

He laughs. "I'm here to braid your hair now." 

"It's weird, I know. I just want to try it." 

"I don't find it weird," Louis says gently, finishing the braid in Harry's hair. 

"Thanks." 

"Do you have a hair tie?" 

Harry takes one off his wrist, handing it back. 

Louis takes it, putting it in his hair. "Done." 

He smiles, grabbing out his phone to look at himself. 

"Want to take a picture for me?" 

"Yeah."

"Thanks. It'll be easier for me to see." 

Harry lets Louis take a flash picture. He then hands back his phone. 

He smiles looking at the picture. "Thanks, Lou." 

"Looks nice. I like it." 

He chuckles. 

"I got some pictures of you, on my phone." 

He widens his eyes. "What?" 

"Well, I took one when you were really drunk that night. Where you got that tattoo. You passed out on top of my arm, you were cuddling and sleeping on it like it was a pillow." 

He shows Louis the picture and he's right. His face is nuzzled in his arm with his eyes squeezed shut. "Oh God," he laughs.

Harry shrugs. "Thought it was cute." 

Louis smiles as he scrolls through his phone.

"And then this one," he shows out his phone, "It's a video of you snoring." 

"You creep, why'd you take this?" Louis asks. 

"Just watch."

Louis is snoring loud. Really fucking loud. He laughs, shaking his head.

"Is it like that every night?" Louis asks. 

Harry is scrolling through his phone again. He nods. "Like a train." 

Louis laughs, as Harry starts smiling again.

"Then this one. It was at the hotel."

He shows Louis a picture of Louis' head on his stomach. He's smiling...smiling in his sleep, cheeks squished onto Harry's body, arms curled up along with his legs.

"Now that one is just embarrassing."

"You looked so tiny. You were so cuddled into me," Harry laughs lightly, looking at the picture himself.

He is in shock of how Harry looks at these pictures of him. He feels so... strange.

He then decides to take out his phone. He quickly goes to talk a picture of Harry. The flash goes off and Harry turns to look away, but the picture captures the side of his face, along with his braid perfectly.

"Stop," Harry blushes. Louis smiles.

"You clearly have plenty pictures of me. It's my turn."

Louis then keeps taking pictures of Harry. Harry sticks up his hand, laughing, trying to push Louis away, trying to grab the phone. Louis is laughing too because the flash has to be blinding.

He then turns the camera around, falling onto Harry to take a picture of them both. Louis' head is on Harry's lap, smiling widely into the camera as Harry is looking down at him, a wide smile on his face as well.

He keeps taking pictures of the two of them, before Harry finally grabs Louis' phone.

"Enough! You're not a photographer!" He's chuckling and Louis pouts.

"Aw, come on. No fun."

"Another time," Harry smiles, "It's past midnight. And we have classes, stupid."

"Oi, no name calling, weenie."

Harry laughs, giving Louis back his phone before crawling under the covers.

"Now, let's see who's going to be up to take pictures tonight," Louis says, "Since I now know about your sneakiness with taking pictures of me as I'm not aware of anything."

Harry turns to watch Louis as he crawls under the covers himself.

"Alright."

"Now we need to sleep."

"Yeah. We do," Harry agrees.

Louis gulps. "Yeah."

Harry smiles widely, then he hesitantly leans in and kisses Louis. It's a soft and quick peck. He pulls away, still smiling. Then he just closes his eyes, placing his hand on Louis' waist.

He can't stop staring. He can't believe how all of this is turning out with him. Louis then leans in himself, kissing the top of Harry's head before going to try and sleep himself. He's never felt like this, and he thinks he likes it.

...

Louis wakes up to a wet feeling on his neck. He opens his eyes, realizes Harry's kissing it.

"Harry," he mumbles trying to push him off.

"Thought it'd be the best way to wake you up," Harry says, kissing his neck, then right on the corner of his lips. He then pushes off, getting off the bed. Louis looks.

"I hate classes."

"They aren't that bad."

"Yeah. You still have all four years. Sucks."

"What's going to happen when you're done?" Harry asks shyly.

What does he mean? Does he really think they are still going to be...together, or whatever they are right now, in that long?

"Don't know," he answers honestly.

Harry nods. Louis smiles at his braid.

"Braid still looks nice."

Harry laughs. "I'm taking it out. Can't show up to school like this."

"And why not?"

"Weird," he shrugs, taking it out.

"Well, I liked it." 

Harry smiles, nodding before getting his hair all out and messy again.

"I'm cutting it soon."

Louis frowns. "Really?"

"Yeah. Getting too long."

"And you're donating it all?"

"Yeah."

"Can't see you with short hair."

Harry nods, walking over. He places a knee on the bed, touching Louis' leg. His phone is out and he hands Louis it.

"Scroll through. Those are pictures of me when my hair was short." 

He looks like a completely different person. So young. His hair is either quiffed or flat across his head. He looks so nice, honestly. But he can't see it on him now.

There are so many different people in the pictures. He had no idea he was this popular growing up. Actually, he can believe. 

He scrolls across a picture though of Harry and a guy. They are closer than any of the other pictures. His eyes widen a little. That has to be George. He scrolls once more past it, so Harry won't see that.

"You look so young," Louis says, handing him back his phone.

Harry nods, looking at his phone. Louis can see him scroll though. And by the look on his face, he knows he's now looking at that picture. 

"Yeah," he mumbles. He gets up again, "I'm going to borrow Liam's clothes again." 

Louis gets up to get dressed himself. He hears Harry and Liam talking before he gets out himself. 

"Harry should get his own part in your dresser," Liam says and Louis chuckles. 

"Probably." 

"I'm serious," Liam says laughing.

"Yeah, maybe he will." 

Harry walks out with a very...very fake smile at his lips. 

"It's cold outside today," he says.

Louis nods. "Yeah." 

"I'm driving, let's go," Liam says going to walk out. Louis and Harry follow. 

"I can drive us," Harry says, "I mean, Lou and I. I brought my car." 

Liam nods. "Very well. See you guys."

The drive is silent and they just go to classes straight away since it's getting cold, no one really wants to hang out outside. Inside is too busy, anyways. 

Louis can't get that picture of Harry and George out of his head. They looked so fucking happy. Everything ended so miserably. 

Classes end and Louis is walking through a hallway when he's pushed into the wall. 

"Hey, watch it," Louis snaps looking up to see a guy he doesn't recognize. 

"You're Louis Tomlinson, aren't you?" The guy asks. 

Louis frowns. Why does this guy know who he is? He looks at his friends who are laughing. 

"Yeah." 

The guy looks behind to make eye contact with his friends, laughing, before looking back at Louis, who is behind confused. 

His eyes widen a little when the guy shoves Louis into the wall hard, then knocking his books out of his hand. 

Then he just walks away. Louis is standing there, not knowing what the hell just happened. And he really doesn't care. He bends down, picking up his books. He snaps back up looking into Harry. He jumps a little, scared at his out of nowhere appearance. 

"You scared me," he mumbles. 

He's frowning. "You alright?" 

"Yeah. Never seen those guys and I really have no idea what that was about," he just laughs. 

Harry nods, furrowing his eyebrows looking at the guys walk away. Then he looks back at Louis. "Come on. Let's get frozen yogurt." 

"Frozen yogurt?" 

"Yeah. I like it," he insists, placing a hand onto his back, "You can put your books in my backpack so you don't have to carry."

Harry grabs the books from him, putting them in his backpack. His hand goes right back on Louis' back.

They walk out, getting into his car as he drives. It's silent again. He can't stop thinking about what happened. He really wants to know why.

They arrive to the place, getting out. Harry puts his hand on his back again. 

"I dare you to get everything," Harry says and Louis frowns. 

"Do I look like I can afford that?" 

"But I'm paying. I asked you to come."

"No. You're always paying for me. I don't think so," Louis says sternly. 

"Too bad. Cry about it. I'm going to get everything," Harry shrugs. 

Louis sighs. "Fine. Me too." 

And they get everything on their frozen yogurts. They go to pay, and Harry smiles at the lady. 

"Put it on one receipt."

Louis narrows his eyes at him. "I hate you so much," he crosses his arms. 

Harry just ignores him as he pays for the frozen yogurt. 

"Let's sit in the small chairs," Harry insists. 

"You're ridiculous," Louis says sitting down in the chair. 

"What? I'm just being considerate for you, Lou. This chair is your size." 

Louis' jaw drops. "I'll shove that spoon down your throat!" 

"Oh yeah? Anything else you'd like to _shove down my throat_?" He raises his eyebrows, smirking. 

Louis widens his eyes. "I'm going to fucking punch you."

"Oh yeah?" Harry's still smirking. 

He just rolls his eyes. "Still hate you."

"I can live with that."

Louis licks his lips. "Why'd you take us here?" 

"Had a taste for frozen yogurt. You're the guy I'd like to eat my frozen yogurt with, obviously." 

He nods, eating his frozen yogurt. "Should I be flattered?" 

"Yes." 

Louis stares at him. "Do you know those guys by any chance?"

Harry gets flustered. "Um, no. I mean, I know who they are, but I don't _know_ them." 

There's something going on, clearly. But Louis ignores it. Harry always acts weird. 

"Alright. Just asking."

"What'd they say to you?"

"Just asked if I was Louis Tomlinson. Then I said yeah. They did that."

Harry frowns a little, nodding. "Weird." 

"Yeah. No one knows who I am," he laughs.

"I doubt that. I knew who you were."

"Because of Liam." 

He shrugs. "I used to hear other people talk about you as well." 

"Really?" Louis asks. What the hell? Who would ever talk about him?

"Yeah. I remember the first party, since Zayn and I got there in beginning of summer, that two guys were talking about you. They... were talking about fucking you, since they both did." 

Louis chokes on his frozen yogurt. "'Scuse me?" He coughs. 

Harry laughs a little. "Um, yeah. Were talking about their experiences." 

"Fuck," Louis groans. "I used to go around to every guy until I got sick of it."

Harry nods. "I know." 

"I just got sick of all the parties, ya know? Thought it'd be best to break from it and just go home." 

He pouts out his lips. Fuck. He shouldn't do that...

"Yeah. I understand. Nothing wrong with that." 

Louis plays around with his frozen yogurt. 

"How are you?" Harry asks out of the blue. 

"Fine. You? Your concussion?" 

Harry laughs. "I'm fine. Just get dazed at times, but fine." 

Louis starts giggling. "Remember when I kicked the ball and it hit your dick?" 

He closes his eyes. "That hurt so bad, Lou." 

"I swear, I didn't even mean to. I was just trying to get you to kick it back to me."

"I thought I was going to kill you. I was so embarrassed, my sunglasses even flew off." 

"It made it funnier!" Louis laughs loudly. Harry shakes his head, trying to fight a laugh. 

"It was mean." 

"On accident, can't forget." 

"Still." 

"Clumsy, but still alive." 

"I hate you." 

"But you can't hate me, curly." 

He smiles. "And why not?" 

"Because you're me best mate!" Louis doesn't know why he says this. He sounds stupid.

But Harry just nods. "And you're my best mate." 

Louis gets awkward then, coughing. 

"Tell me your favorite color," Harry says. 

"Why?" He laughs. 

"Just want to know as much as I can about you," he shrugs.

Louis watches him before answering. "Probably blue. I don't really think about my favorite color too often." 

Harry smiles. "Mine is blue too. The shade of your eyes."

Louis blushes a little before making a noise. "That's gross. Don't ever pull that sappy, cheesy shit on me." 

Harry laughs hard, covering his mouth. "I'm being serious though. Blue is my favorite color, and I do love the shade of your eyes." 

He shrugs. "Fine. Then green is my favorite color. The shade of your eyes," Louis mocks, putting his hands on his cheeks trying to make it seem like he's daydreaming.

Harry blushes, covering his face. "You're a douche."

"What? I'm being serious," Louis sighs.

Harry licks his lips. "You're something else, really."

Louis shrugs. "But you love me."

Harry smiles, looking down at his yogurt not saying anything else. 

They finish their yogurt and Harry drives Louis back home. 

"You spending the night?" Louis asks. 

Harry shrugs. "Maybe on the weekend. I can't spend every night here."

He frowns. "But can't you not sleep alone?" 

Harry looks away, playing with his rings. "I've done it before. I'll be fine."

"You sure?" He feels bad. 

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." 

Louis nods. "See you." 

He walks up to his room. Honestly, he doesn't even know if he can sleep without Harry at this point. He just feels more comfortable with him. 

What is Harry doing to him?


	31. XXXI

The week is pretty decent. Harry and Louis hang out a bit, just doing school work together. Louis does feel a bit closer to him, because they've been getting to know each other. 

He learned Harry likes wearing boots because he feels like it looks best on his pigeon feet. That his favorite movie is the Titanic. If he could go anywhere in the world, it would be Arizona because he really wants to see the Grand Canyon. And just other things. 

Every minute goes by with Harry he just likes him even more. 

They haven't kissed ever since that one night with the braiding. It's kind of weird to him. He doesn't know what they are, and clearly Harry doesn't want to discuss it either. 

It's Friday and there's a party since it's the first weekend ever since the break. It's back at the frat. Louis realizes he hasn't seen Josh around really since the beginning of the year at the first party. 

He gets there with Liam and Niall, Harry and Zayn on their way.

He's talking with some old friends, drinking a lot. He already drank before he came, so he's sure to be drunk by the time Harry gets here. He's not sure how he's going to feel about that.

He's talking to Liam when they both stroll in. Harry's wearing a black t-shirt, some jeans and black boots. He smiles. He loves seeing him, honestly. 

Harry walks up to him, basically leaning into him as he goes to stand against the table. "Hey." 

"You look nice." 

He nods. "I'm cutting my hair tomorrow."

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Really?" 

"Yeah. It's about time. My hair is getting bad." 

Louis then frowns. "Looks like I won't be able to braid it anymore?" 

Harry opens his mouth, making a little sad face as well. "Yeah. I guess." 

"Shame. I loved the braid in your hair." 

"Maybe you can do it again tonight," Harry smiles and Louis nods immediately. 

"Of course." 

Harry smirks and Louis drinks from his beer. 

"So dancing around half naked." 

Louis chokes a little on his drink, looking to glare at Harry. "When I was a stupid drunk." 

"I would have loved to see that." 

"No you wouldn't have. I looked like a complete mess." 

"You seem to be a good dancer." 

"Is that so?" He quirks up his eyebrows. 

"Yeah. Don't want to brag, I'm pretty good myself." 

"Really?" Louis is smiling. 

Harry nods. He grabs Louis' wrist. He hesitates. 

"I'm not done drinking." 

"Put that stupid beer down. Come on." 

He sighs, doing as he says before following. Harry then grabs both of Louis' hands, dancing around. 

Louis laughs, going to push him off. "We're not doing this. Absolutely not." 

"But Louis," he pouts, grabbing his hand, "You're my prince charming. We must dance." 

He huffs. "Yeah. Every prince charming has to dance to this ugly rap music." 

"You don't like rap?" Harry asks questioning. 

"Hate it." 

"I can't see that. You seem like you'd like it."

"It's not necessarily music, to me. It's just talking."

"But you need to listen to the lyrics. It's not all bad."

"Pretty sure they are saying something about bad bitches." 

Harry laughs, "Okay, fine." 

But Harry just spins Louis around, doing some weird other move making Louis laugh along. 

"You look ridiculous. This is rap, you don't spin someone--"

Harry spins Louis around again. Louis stomps on his foot and he just lets out a small whine. 

"You're a dick," Harry says as he pulls Louis into him. Louis gasps as his chest hits Harry's chest. He looks up to him. He's biting his bottom lip. 

Louis opens his mouth to say something, but nothings coming out. Harry has this affect on him a lot lately. 

"Let's say--"

"Harry!"

They both turn to see guys walking towards him. Louis widens his eyes. It's that group of guys who bothered Louis earlier this week. He thought Harry said he didn't know them. 

Harry releases Louis slowly. 

"Hi," he mumbles out. 

"How are you, mate? We haven't spoken in a long while," he laughs, going to shake Harry's hand. 

Harry hesitantly shakes his hand back. "Yeah. Good. You?" 

"Fine. Are you dating Louis? Can't help but notice you guys do seem pretty close." 

Harry looks at Louis questioning. Why is he questioning him? They aren't fucking dating. He's pissed Harry lied about knowing these guys. 

"I mean...I guess we could be." 

What?

Hold on a minute. What?

What the fuck does he mean we could be?

No. No they are not. He can't let Harry be thinking this way. 

"No we aren't," Louis huffs out making a face, "We aren't dating." 

Harry's jaw drops a little, basically his whole face drops. The guys start laughing and Harry doesn't look away from Louis as he does. 

"Sorry. And sorry about the other day, Louis." 

And he walks away smiling. Louis is fucking pissed. 

He glares at Harry who is still sadly looking at him. He just walks away. 

"Louis." 

He walks out the door, going to sit on the ground. He grabs at his hair. He's annoyed.  

Harry is out right away, going to sit down next to him.

"You're overreacting," he huffs. He looks at him. Why is he mad? Jesus Christ. 

"You lied. I don't like liars, Harry."

"I just lied because they are douchebags. I didn't want you knowing I was friends with them." 

"Why'd they do that to me? Knock my books out of my hand? Shove me into a wall?" He asks getting more annoyed. 

"I have no idea, honestly. I wish I knew," he sighs. 

"You're friends with them?" He asks. 

He shrugs. "Not really friends. Just hung out a few times. They mess around with everybody. I don't know why they did with you." 

Louis nods. Fine. Whatever. He's not going to stay mad. Things were going too well. 

"Fine." 

"No."

He looks at Harry who is pouting. "What do you mean, no?"

"You said we aren't dating." 

"Yeah? Because we aren't." 

Harry's quiet a little. "I thought we were," he whispers. 

Louis laughs. "Please. No we aren't." 

Harry is frowning looking back at Louis. "Why are you making this seem like a joke?" 

"Because it is."

He takes a deep breath. "Dating me is a joke," he says out loud. 

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah. Yeah, I think you did, Louis." 

He feels bad. "Harry, listen. I didn't know how to describe us either. But thinking about it now... I can't see it." 

It's true. He can't see them dating. He can't see them doing lovey dovey shit in public. As much as he'd like to, he just knows it wouldn't work out. 

And he loves having Harry. Relationships don't last forever. 

The real reason he thinks he doesn't want to make them official honestly, is he doesn't want to lose Harry. That's what it is. 

It's different with other people, he guesses. But now that he actually has someone in his life he could finally date, he doesn't want it. He can't lose Harry. Ever. 

He doesn't want to tell him that. He doesn't want to seem pathetic. 

He honestly would love to date Harry. Be his boyfriend. But it's too much of a risk. And it's hard to see them together, really. 

"What?" Harry is frowning. He feels bad. But he needs to say it. 

"I can't see us holding hands in public. I can't see us walking each other to class, kissing each other goodbye, doing whatever boyfriends do. I don't think it'll work out forever." 

Harry is still fucking frowning. If he doesn't stop he'll puke. 

But then Harry slowly reaches out, grabbing Louis' hand in his. He holds it tightly. They are both sitting against the wall, just holding each other's hands, staring into their eyes, which are both sad. 

"You can't see it?" 

Louis bites his lips. He has to say something. They can't date. He can't let their friendship be ruined. 

"I don't want to see it, Harry." 

Harry blinks. Then he releases his hand, standing up. 

He sighs loudly. "Where are you going?" 

He doesn't say anything. Just continues walking. Then Louis stands up. 

"Harry." 

He stops, then slowly turns around. "I thought you wanted to give us a chance, earlier. You sure seem like you wanted us to be together as much as I do."

He knows he made it seem that way. Because it's true. He wants to be with Harry more than anything. 

He just doesn't have many close people in his life. And he knows... he knows somehow he'll mess them up if they date. He always messes up something, somehow.

"Sorry," is all he says. 

Harry huffs. "You don't trust me."

"What?" Louis asks surprised. 

"After what I told you. You don't want to date me." 

"That's not it, Harry, I swear." 

"Then what is it?" 

He bites his lip. Fuck, this is so hard. 

"I just don't want us to be together, okay?" 

Harry nods, gulping. Is he really going to fucking cry? God, he cries all the fucking time. 

"Fine."

He goes to walk away and Louis shouts his name again. 

"Harry, stop walking away." 

"You said you don't want us together. I'm doing as you wish," he says quietly, but Louis still hears him. 

Then Louis stops. Did he really just fucking make this mistake?

Louis hits his head on the wall. He messed everything up. He's just so fucking paranoid, now he ruined everything that was going so well with Harry. 

He's about to cry. He just wishes he was a simple guy. He wishes he didn't worry about this stuff, he wishes he could just tell Harry why he can't be with him as of now. But he can't. 

So he storms back into the party, fighting away his tears. 

He sees Mitchell. He storms over to him, grabbing his arm. 

"Now?" He asks. 

Mitchell licks his lips, nodding. "Yeah. Let's do bathroom." 

Louis nods, pulling him to the direction. 

He doesn't know why he's doing this. He just wants to stop fucking thinking about Harry. He's all he thinks about. And it hurts like hell. 

Mitchell locks the bathroom door, and starts making out with Louis. 

And he tries hard as hell not to think of Harry. But it's impossible. 

Fucking impossible.


	32. XXXII

Louis is pulling up his pants and Mitchell is zipping his. 

Why did he do this? He doesn't know. He's drunk and mad. 

Mad at himself, more likely. Not even Harry. 

"That was..." Mitchell breathes out. 

Louis doesn't care. He doesn't even know how it was, and quite frankly, he doesn't want to think about it. 

"Yeah." Louis just agrees. 

"I knew you were good, but..."

"Yeah. I have to go," Louis mumbles, hurrying out the door. 

He doesn't say bye to Liam or Niall, he just hurries out. He walks to the roof. Once there, he climbs up and he just lays on the ground facing the sky. 

He wishes his dad didn't ruin this for him. He wishes he could just tell Harry how badly he wants to be with him. But he can't see it. 

He can't see Harry and him lasting for no longer than a month. Harry would just get sick of him easily. He wouldn't want to be with him anymore, and he'd leave him forever. 

Louis knows it's bound to happen. Maybe he should just let Harry go. If it's going to happen, it might as well just happen now before he gets even more attached to him, if possible. 

He didn't want to lose him. He doesn't at all. But after today, he just especially knows now. Might as well prevent it early. 

He hates this. He just wanted someone good in his life, and Harry is definitely that good. It sucks that everything good comes to an end, he guesses. 

He just won't try anymore with him. He won't talk to him as much. He won't let him sleep at his room anymore. He doesn't want to be mean, but he has to be. Louis is selfish. He doesn't want to get hurt in the long run. 

Louis is tearing up because he knows it's going to suck not hanging out with him anymore. That Harry could have been such a good boyfriend for a little while. Nothing hurts more though knowing it's not forever. And it ends now. 

He hates being pathetic. He hates being this person. 

He sits up straight, stumbling down to just go home. 

He walks slowly, kicking at the ground as he walks. 

He reaches his room, walking in before changing and crawling into bed. He'll tell Liam everything tomorrow. He has to, he hasn't been telling him too much lately. 

He's still happy he got Zayn. It just sucks they kind of drifted apart. 

He's even losing Liam. He knew it was going to happen as well.

He tears up thinking about it, squeezing his eyes shut. 

The only person he really has is Niall. Maybe he should just talk to him. He doesn't want to bother Liam with his problems anymore. 

Louis tries to fall asleep. It's not always easy to fall asleep while crying, though. 

...

The next morning is hard. Liam isn't home. He sent out a text saying he's with Zayn for today. He doesn't mind. 

He texts Niall, asking if he can stop by. He said as soon as his hangover passes. 

Louis sits by the telly watching football drinking his tea. There's a knock on the door. 

"Come in."

Niall comes in with a huge bag of popcorn. He chuckles as he hurries to sit next to Louis. 

"Hey bud. We can have a Star Wars movie marathon." 

"Good." 

He smiles, putting the popcorn down.

"What's wrong? You look sad. You know I hate it when you're sad. Do I need to kick someone's bum?" He asks making a cute face. 

Louis just laughs. He crinkles his nose. "I can't date Harry." 

"Why not?" 

"It's not going to last. I just...I don't want to lose him. But after last night, it's going to happen. So I just decided to let him off now. It's better for us. I hate being selfish, but I know I'm going to get hurt when he gets sick of me. So if we don't date, and we just stop hanging out now, before I get too attached to him, it's going to hurt less." 

He doesn't really talk to Niall about this stuff. He only told Niall about his dad on father's day. They were both drunk, because he had problems with his dad as well. So they just sat on the roof, talking about their problems before spray painting a building. It was a crazy night. 

But Niall does know how he is. He knows he hates losing people. So he tries pushing away. Niall's the only one who doesn't allow to be pushed away. So Louis doesn't even try with him. 

"Louis, you can't think that way. I don't think he's going to get sick of you," he makes a face, "He likes you, you can see it in his eyes. And you like him. You can't think about the future if he's what makes you happy now."

"But how can I not? Nothing good lasts forever. I just can't bear to think about then. Losing someone like him after liking him for so long. I have never had a boyfriend, so this is all I can think about. Harry's different. I just...I can't explain it the way I want. But it's just easier for me. It sucks now, of course it does."

He doesn't know what else to say. He can't explain his mind to Niall. No one can understand him. No one lived the life he did growing up. His own dad hated him. He lost his only best friend. He just always feels like he's doing something wrong, thanks to his dad. 

"Bud, I'm sorry you think that way. I know it's hard not to, after childhood experiences. But not everyone is like your dad, you know. Not everyone wants to leave you. Not everyone thinks of you that way. You know I basically look up to you. Liam loves being around you, as well as Zayn. You're the life of the parties, everyone around loves watching you do you. Harry, he just adores you so much. I hate you can't see it all," Niall says, placing a hand on his thigh. 

Louis nods. "I just wanted to talk to you. You're the only one really, I feel like I can talk to Harry about."

"Is it because I'm your fan?" He jokes. 

Louis laughs. "Shush."

"Seriously, Lou. I won't push, but you are making a mistake now. You know you are deep down." 

Maybe he is wrong. But this is just what he wants to happen. He hates it, but it does. 

"Whatever. I talked. Now let's watch Star Wars." 

Niall sighs. "Fine." 

...

The rest of the weekend goes by kind of slow. Niall and Louis just watch Star Wars, then on Sunday they go and get food before going home. 

He goes straight to classes, avoiding any contact with anyone. He only talked to Liam who drove him to school. He's now standing by the car, waiting for Liam. He always talks fucking forever. 

He's playing around with this new app he got that you take care of cats. 

"Hey." 

Fuck. He can't be serious. 

He looks up to Harry standing there looking all nervous. 

Louis doesn't say anything. He just looks back down at his phone.

"What you playing?" 

He doesn't answer. He just continues playing with his fucking cats like the biggest loser. 

Harry coughs. "Look, Louis. I shouldn't have acted that way. If you don't want to date, then that's fine. I shouldn't have made it seem like we need to date if you don't want to. I'm sorry." 

Louis bites his cheek so hard he feels blood. He looks up to see Liam approaching. He just waits for him to unlock the car. 

He opens it, glancing at Harry who looks shocked and sad. Louis just gets in without saying a word. 

Liam says hi to Harry who can't even speak. He obviously doesn't know what's wrong.

Now Louis knows he's going to have to talk to Liam.

"What's wrong?" Liam asks looking over at Louis. He just glances at Harry who is standing there like a lonely, sad puppy, staring at him. He sighs, looking away. 

"I'll tell you at home." 

He nods, pulling away, leaving Harry standing there all alone. 

Liam understands completely, and he says he wishes it could be easy for him. He doesn't talk like Niall though, trying to get him to realize he's wrong, that he'll regret this. He is thankful for that. 

The week goes by slow. Louis doesn't speak with Harry at all. He notices Harry just watches Louis with sad eyes. He refuses to look at him, because he does feel bad. But he's just doing them both a favor. 

It's Friday and Niall wants him to come to a bar with him. He says Liam, Zayn, and Harry will probably come along too, and honestly, whatever. 

He's taking shots with Niall when a guy sits down next to him smiling. 

Niall just kind of glares, but Louis ignores him. He talks to the guy, who clearly is trying to get with him.

This happens a lot, especially when he's drunk. 

His name is Jeffery. He's actually really boring. 

"Stop," Niall mumbles in his ear.

"I'm just talking."

"The others are here. You don't want to do this in front of Harry." 

He turns around to see Liam, Zayn, and Harry coming in. 

He gives Niall a look. "We aren't dating?" 

"Louis," he just says sternly. 

He ignores him. It'll be easier to ignore Harry talking to him. 

They come and thankfully, Harry sits on the other side, not trying to come by him. 

"You have a really nice smile," Jeffery says. 

Smile? Really? 

"Good," Louis mumbles drinking some more. 

"I'm trying to flirt and you're not making it easy." 

Louis turns to him. "I don't make anything easy." 

Jeffery laughs. "Alright. Then--"

"Excuse me." 

He rolls his eyes as he turns to look at Harry, who is talking to Jeffery. 

"Yeah?" 

"That's my seat." 

Louis closes his eyes. He's not doing this.

"No it's not. You can stay, Jeffery." 

"I said. It's my seat." 

He looks up to Harry who is now glaring at Louis. He's mad. 

"No," Louis snaps. He turns back at Jeffery who is beyond confused. "It's not. Stay there."

"Get up." 

"Stay there."

"Get up!" Harry yells now and Jeffery does as he says. 

"Jesus Christ. Bye, Louis," he mumbles making a face before leaving. 

Louis doesn't look at Harry as he sits down. 

"Why the fuck are you ignoring me?" 

Louis blinks, running his hand over his face annoyed. He's not just going to tell him why.

Louis is drinking when the drink is yanked from his hand, him spitting in on the table in the process. 

He looks at Harry, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in the process. 

"Seriously?" 

Harry raises his eyebrows, moving the glass in his hand in a questioning motion. 

Louis sighs looking away. How hard is it to realize he doesn't want to talk to him?

"Louis." 

He doesn't look at him. He's trying so hard. 

"Fucking look at me!" He shouts loud, banging his fist on the table, making the others turn to look as well. Some people around quiet down as well. 

Harry doesn't even care, he just continues glaring at Louis. 

He turns to look at him. "Harry, stop." 

He furrows his eyebrows. "Stop what!" 

Harry is about to have a breakdown. He can see it. 

"Don't talk to me." 

"I don't even know what I did wrong!" 

Louis shakes his head. "Please, just leave me alone. Will you?" 

He isn't yelling, he's talking gently. He's trying to get Harry to leave.

Harry is staring at him angrily. His breathing is uneven. "Are you serious?" 

Louis makes a face. "Yeah?"

Harry bites his bottom lip. "I can't believe you, honestly." 

Then Louis looks away, playing with his hands. He wants Harry to fucking leave. But he just continues staring at Louis. 

His drink is then slammed right by his hands, making him jump a little. 

"Take your fucking drink. Don't forget to get a guy, either. You sure had no fucking problem doing it last weekend," Harry spits.

Louis widens his eyes as Harry storms out. 

Mitchell told people? He could fucking kill him.

He feels bad, he does. But none of this will matter to Harry in no longer than a couple weeks.

And Louis is hoping it won't matter to him, either.

 


	33. XXXIII

Louis feels terrible. He does. Just because Harry did nothing wrong. He just sighs, drinking alone the rest of the night. 

A few weeks go by. Harry won't look at Louis. Louis won't look at Harry. It's easy but also hard at the same time. 

Louis is more sad than usual. Doesn't go out all of the time. Niall and Liam try getting him to be happier, but they know it's hard. 

Niall flipped out on him one night. Liam got mad and kicked him out. Louis just sat there quietly. 

 

_"Stop doing this! Just fucking be with Harry! You're miserable, it's making me miserable!" Niall shouts at Louis. He just stares at him. He's right, but he's not._

_"Niall, stop," Liam says._

_"No! You see him! He's a fucking mess!" Niall shouts. He turns to Louis, "You know you're a mess! Why don't you stop being so denying?"_

_He doesn't know what to say. He can't just stop. What does he not get about that?_

_"Niall, leave. You're saying shit now."_

_"No, let me--"_

_"Now," Liam says once more. Niall just groans, doing as he says._

_Liam walks over with tea for the both of them in a couple minutes._

_"Do what you want, Lou," he says smiling. Louis nods, accepting his tea._

_He knows what he wants. He just can't have it._

 

It's February first. It's Friday and he just can't wait to get home to be miserable all weekend. Harry's having a party tonight, and it's going to be weird not going. 

He misses him so fucking much. 

He sees Harry and he looks sad. Sadder than he usually does today. Louis sees him and can't stop staring. He hasn't really looked at him in a while. He would just try and sneak glances when he wasn't looking. 

He gets home, falling on his couch. 

"Maybe you can come. Try and talk today? Maybe you guys can at least be friends again?" 

"We can't just become friends again, Liam," Louis sighs. 

"Maybe if you try."

"I'm not going." 

"Alright. I'll miss you," Liam says. 

There's a knock on the door and Liam opens it to see Zayn. 

"I'm a shit friend." Zayn says. 

"What babe?" Liam asks. 

"It's Harry's birthday," Louis widens his eyes, "And I forgot."

Louis turns to look at them. 

Harry's birthday? Zayn forgot?

He thinks back to Zayn's birthday. Harry made sure all of us knew, then we just went to a bar that night. Nothing big. 

He frowns. Harry is always doing stuff for other people's birthdays. Now it's his and the person he knows the longest didn't even remember? He doesn't deserve that. 

"No one literally knows except me. I went on Facebook and got the notification. I feel horrible. Do you have anything I can bring him tonight? Poor kid is throwing a party, telling people it's for no reason, but really it's for his damn birthday." 

Louis' heart breaks. Did he really? He stares at Zayn with a frown. 

Zayn looks at him, walking over and sitting on the couch. 

"This might be cheesy. But I think you'd be the best birthday present for Harry." 

He blinks. "What?"

"Yeah, Louis. He's miserable. You would make him so fucking happy if you were to tell him happy birthday."

"But I--"

"Please, Louis. He'd do anything for you."

He'd do anything for you. 

Louis wants to cry. He shouldn't have been so terrible to him for no reason. He wishes he just told him why he's been so distant. Why he's scared. He closes his eyes. 

"Alright," he says hoarsely. 

"Thank God. Can you guys stop this?"

Louis shrugs. "It's my fault." 

"It's okay. Just fix it. Talk to him. He listens."

He does listen, he knows that. 

He nods. It's time. He needs to tell Harry. 

...

They arrive to the party late, because Louis insisted. 

Harry's sitting on a small chair, smoking. He's all alone. Louis frowns. He didn't even have a bad birthday. If anyone deserves an amazing birthday, it's Harry. 

He takes a deep breath before walking over. 

The chair is small, but he can squeeze in. 

He approaches him, going to sit down. He uses his butt to push Harry over a little. 

Harry jumps, looking at Louis shocked. Louis squeezes in. They fit on the small chair. Harry has his cigarette in his hand, staring at him. 

"Happy birthday," Louis says quietly. 

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "What are you doing?" 

"Wishing you a happy birthday." 

He shakes his head. "Why? You've been ignoring me. Since it's my birthday it's okay to talk to me like nothing happened?" 

Louis sighs. "Can we talk?" 

"I don't know. Can we?" Harry asks annoyed. 

"I'm sorry. I...I'll explain. Just let me talk to you."

Harry stares before slowly nodding. "I have a balcony in my room." 

He stands up, Louis following. They go upstairs and to the balcony. 

Harry puts a hand on the rail, smoking while looking at the view below them. 

The music is loud below them. Louis licks his lips. 

"I can't explain how my mind works, Harry. But just know... I was so fucking scared to lose you. I thought if we dated, I would do something. Or you would just get sick of me, and leave me. I didn't want to get to attached to you, because I am selfish. I didn't want to get hurt. I've been hurt so many times, Harry. I've been left alone, feeling scared. I just keep thinking about you leaving me, because of my childhood. I can't have something like that happen again." 

Harry doesn't look at him for a while. He smokes, closing his eyes. He turns to look at Louis. "It hurts me to have you thinking that I'd ever leave you." 

Louis blinks. "It's bound to happen."

"It's in your head, Lou. I couldn't leave you. I need you." 

Louis stares at him. Harry continues smoking, looking down.

"I just can't see that." 

"I know you can't. But it's true." 

"But why? There's nothing special about little old me." 

Harry laughs. Louis is about to cry. He's laughing at him. 

"Little old you? Nothing special? Louis. Everything about you is special." 

His stomach drops. "W-What?" 

Harry lights out his cigarette, tossing it to the ground. He walks over to Louis who backs away shyly. 

"There's so much to you. So much to notice. How caring you are of everyone. How blue your eyes are. How you cover your mouth with a fist as you giggle. How tough you like to act, even though you aren't. How you like being sarcastic. How much fun you can have. The amount of times you've made me happy Louis, that is something you should be proud of. You should take pride in how much you are other peoples happiness. That's not something someone can do everyday."

He doesn't want to believe it but having Harry stare into his eyes, each word said with so much passion, he can't not believe him. 

He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to fucking talk. He knows he messed up. He knows his mind is playing games with him. So he just walks into Harry's arms, hugging him as tight as he can. 

"I'm sorry I pushed away. I didn't mean to. I just didn't want to get hurt," he says quietly. 

Harry just rubs his back. "No need to apologize. I understand, Lou." 

Now Louis is crying. He doesn't want to, but fuck. 

Harry just squeezes him tight, rubbing him. 

He pulls away. Harry smiles down at him. "Now who's the crying one?" 

Louis huffs, pushing at his chest. "We don't speak of me crying ever again." 

"Deal." 

He frowns. "It's your birthday." 

"Yeah." 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I mean I couldn't exactly." 

"Stop. I'm sorry. But why doesn't anyone else know?" 

He shrugs. "I'm not just going to tell people." 

"I know you don't want to have this party," Louis says.

"I know. I just didn't want to be alone. Didn't have you, so." 

Louis frowns. "What do you want to do?" 

Harry shrugs. "I mean...I kind of want to go ice skating. It's not going to be cold much longer." 

"Then we can go. You and I." 

He smiles, nodding. "Okay." 

Louis is still scared Harry's going to leave him. But he's going to force himself to think that it's okay now. That everything is okay. 

...

Louis is holding onto Harry, because fuck. His arse is probably broken by now. 

Not Louis'. Harry's. The kid can't fucking stay on his feet. 

"Why did you take me ice skating if you can't do it?" Louis sighs. 

"I love ice skating. It's pretty down here, and I like it," he mumbles, "Even if I can't do it."

It is very pretty. They have the lights up, gentle music playing. 

Louis lets Harry go for a second. He blurts out laughing as Harry takes literally ten seconds of slipping before completely falling onto his side. He knew that was going to happen. 

"Stop laughing," Harry mumbles pushing himself up. 

"At least you're not hitting your head, so no concussion." 

Harry gives a look before reaching out for Louis. He skates over to him, grabbing his hands. 

"We've been skating for forty five minutes. Well, you falling and me helping you. I think we can get hot chocolate now." 

"Fine," Harry mumbles. They get out, Louis ordering hot chocolate before they walk around in the park together. 

"I'm still sorry about everything. I know I'm complicated," Louis says.

"It's not a real relationship if there's no complications," Harry says quietly. 

Right. So now are they really dating? He guesses. 

Almost as if Harry was reading his mind, he reaches out, grabbing his hand. 

"Can you see it now?" Harry asks gently. 

Louis looks down at their hands intertwined. Yeah. Maybe he can. 

He just smiles, drinking from his hot chocolate nervously. 

They walk around and they see a group of family walking and playing with each other. 

"You're lucky you have younger siblings," Harry says, "I've always wanted some."

"You like kids?" Louis asks. 

"I do," he smiles, "I really do."

"Take mine," Louis jokes. 

"I would love to. I would love to wear matching socks with them." 

Louis smiles at the thought of Harry playing around with Phoebe and Daisy. He knows they would adore him. Who doesn't adore Harry?

"They would love you."

"Yeah?"

"Of course." 

Harry chuckles. "Good to know. Maybe I can win them over. I'll become their new favorite," he teases.

"I wouldn't be surprised." 

They still walk around the park, hand in hand. It's different. But Louis actually likes it.

"Sorry if your birthday sucked," Louis mumbles.

"It didn't. I might have spent half of it on my ass, but at least it was with you." 

Louis looks up at Harry. His smile is wide and genuine. And then Louis starts smiling. 

Maybe it's time for Louis to start allowing himself to be happy. 

 

 


	34. XXXIV

"Stop," Louis rolls his eyes.

"What? You don't think so?"

"No. Definitely not."

Harry is holding up a weird patterned shirt. He wants Louis to get in. No way in hell would he ever wear that.

He sighs, putting the shirt back. "You're boring me. You picked out all of the same clothes. And they are each like, one dollar."

"That's the point."

"But come on, Lou. This really would bring out your eyes," Harry pouts purposely.

"If I let you pick out one shirt will you shut up?"

"Yes," Harry says quickly.

"Fine. Go at it."

Harry smiles. "Thank you."

He picks out a blue patterned shirt. It thankfully isn't that bad as the other choices. So he doesn't argue as Harry pays for it.

Valentines Day is tomorrow. Louis doesn't know what to do. Like at all. He's deep down hoping that Harry doesn't either. He would hate to be the only boyfriend not doing anything.

Ever since they started...dating, Harry holds Louis' hand every second he can. Even if it's walking twenty seconds just to their car, he holds it. And Louis likes it.

Louis throws their shopping bags in the back, turning on the radio loud. How to Save a Life is on. He hums along.

"Your favorite song," Harry says quietly.

"Shh," Louis says. Harry just laughs and is quiet the rest of the song.

They get to Harry's house. He has been spending some time over there as well. He met Harry's stepbrothers. Well, ex stepbrothers? They are pretty nice. They aren't home too often. But he still sees them around.

"Want something to eat?" Harry asks.

"I want to do something."

"Like what?"

Louis sits down on the couch. "How about we go on a hike?"

Harry raises his eyebrows. "A hike?"

"Yeah. You said you wanted to go to the Grand Canyon one day, which is a lot of hiking up there. So why don't we get some practice on it?"

Harry smiles a little. "We?"

Louis doesn't even realize what he's saying. "Yeah. It'd be fun to go there together, don't you think?"

Harry's smile is wide. "I can't imagine it any other way."

"I know this place. I can drive us, in your car, of course."

He chuckles. "Okay. Don't you think we should eat first, though?"

"The kitchen isn't far from you. I'll be here, sitting on the couch. Surprise me, honey."

He can see Harry rolling his eyes. "Alright, sweetie pie."

He laughs, turning to watch Harry as he walks into the kitchen to make them something. 

...

"Okay, this is not as fun as I thought it would be," Louis huffs. 

Harry is doing completely fine, of course. It's pissing him off. 

"You took us here," Harry laughs. 

"Yeah. Liam and Niall went hiking once over here. I stayed in the car and read." 

Harry chuckles. "What's your favorite book?" 

Louis shrugs. "Don't really have a favorite. I can't just chose one, I suppose."

"I love the Harry Potter Series. Always have." 

"You're going to hate me," Louis laughs. 

"What? I could never. Why did you say that?" Harry looks worried now. He stopped walking to look at Louis. 

"Calm down, curly. I'm meaning it because I've never read a Harry Potter book. Or seen any movies." 

Harry widens his eyes. "Don't say that."

"I haven't," Louis chuckles. 

"Well, I'm giving you all of my books. I expect you to have read them all by the end of the school year. Then we can watch all the movies first day of summer."

"Not really sure if that schedule will work out as easily as you planned it."

"A man can dream, eh?" 

"Fine. I'll read them. Only for you."

"My honey." 

Louis hits Harry in the balls. He can only call Harry his honey. 

Harry groans, grabbing at his dick. Louis just continues walking. 

"Lou," he groans his name from behind. 

"Don't call me your honey." 

"Lou, no, seriously. I'm hurt." 

He turns around, sighing. "Yeah. I just hit you in the balls." 

Harry looks in really bad pain. He frowns, walking over. "Wait, what's wrong?" 

He is squeezing his eyes shut, not answering him. 

"Harry, tell me w--" 

He widens his eyes when Harry lifts his hand, smacking Louis in his balls. Louis gasps, grabbing at his dick then as Harry just bursts into laughter. 

Harry is holding his tummy as he starts walking and laughing. 

Louis pushes himself up. 

"You better run, curly."

Harry starts running then. Louis goes after him. 

They are both laughing when they reach the top of the hill. 

Louis jumps on top of Harry, knocking him to the ground. They wrestle around a little before Harry is pinning his arms to the ground. 

Louis groans. "Not fair. Using your strongerness on the weak." 

"Strongerness isn't a word, honey."

He narrows his eyes. "Stop." 

"I'm going to kiss you," Harry smiles leaning in. He feels his heart flutter. Every time Harry kisses him, he gets this feeling. 

Louis sucks in his lips. Harry is laughing as he tries to kiss Louis. He can't because his lips are not there. 

He pulls back up, looking down at him. "Don't be like that." 

"You hit me in the balls." 

"You hit my balls first."

"I always do. You never hit my balls. Ever."

"Oh, my sweet Louis, I just did." 

"So I am not allowing you to kiss me for that."

Harry laughs. "Oh yeah?" 

"Mm." 

"Is that a challenge, Louis Tomlinson?"

"I guess it is."

"Then I guess you're just under my grip until you allow me to kiss you. I can stay like this all day."

Louis tries kicking his legs. It doesn't work. 

"Fuck you." 

"I'll fuck you alright," Harry bites his bottom lip. Louis smiles and Harry takes that as an advantage. He quickly leans in, pecking Louis' lips. He then spins around, releasing Louis' wrists. He lays on his back next to him. 

Harry and Louis went at it once. That was last weekend. It was quite interesting. Very sweaty, very intense. Wasn't romantic at all. Louis just needed to fuck him. He knew he was going to want to because Harry insisted on going to the gym together. 

 

_"Jesus, how is this easy for you?" Louis sighs, putting down his weights. Harry continues lifting easily. He's shirtless, and sweaty. And fuck._

_He stops then, walking over to Louis. "I like the pain, Lou."_

_He raises his eyebrows. That's it. He knew Harry was going to fucking say something like that. He can't take it any longer. "Do you?"_

_Harry bites his bottom lip. "Mm."_

_Louis smirks. He grabs Harry's hand, pulling him towards the locker room. No one is in there._

_"Make it quick. I don't care. Just let me take you. Now."_

_"Wait, what?" Harry asks._

_Louis reaches into his backpack pulling out lube. He looks back to see Harry's eyes wide._

_"But it's our first--"_

_"Not really first first. Just our first time together. Jesus, Harry, the second you said the gym I knew this was going to happen. I can't wait until home. Now. Let's go."_

_Harry shrugs, walking over to him as he unzips his jeans. "You're sneaky."_

_"What can I say?"_

 

"It's so nice out." 

"It is," Louis agrees. 

"Your ass, by the way, looks incredibly nice in those new jeans." 

"Shut up."

"Say thank you." 

"Thanks."

Harry chuckles. "It's weird not hanging around the others."

Louis nods, agreeing. They haven't been really hanging out with them because Liam and Zayn are always busy. Niall could hang out, but he's been out with his golf buddies. Then since Louis and Harry just started being together, they've been spending lots of time alone. 

"How long have you and Liam been friends?" 

"Since High School about. He was so nice. I didn't have many friends. Liam didn't really either. He talked to everyone, but never had any real friends, you know? I on the other hand, didn't really talk to anyone and didn't have any friends. So he became mine." 

Harry doesn't say anything. He just continues staring at the sky. 

Louis turns his head to look at him. Harry is so fucking beautiful, honestly. He loves staring at him. Every aspect on his face is just something admiring to look at. He can't help himself as he leans in, pecking Harry's cheek.

Harry then turns to look at him. "What was that for?"

"You're beautiful," he says quietly. Shyly, even. 

Harry stares at him a little before turning on his side, looking at Louis face to face. He leans in, kissing him on the lips. 

He pulls away and Louis keeps his eyes closed. 

He's scared. He's so fucking scared because his feelings grow for Harry each second they spend together. Every time they kiss it almost feels just as amazing as their first. 

He doesn't know what this feeling is. But he is scared. 

"Are you cold?" 

He opens his eyes. He guesses he is. He didn't even realize. 

"No," he just lies. 

Harry sighs, standing up and pulling off his jacket. Louis starts shaking his head. 

"Oh, no no no. You're not giving me your--"

Harry helps Louis to his feet, putting his jacket on him. "I can see your goosebumps, Louis."

"I don't get cold," he mumbles as the jacket is on him, crossing his arms. 

"Clearly, you do." 

Harry's jacket smells like him, obviously, and he cuddles in it. Harry must notice because he's smiling looking at him. 

It's big on him. But he likes his things big. 

"Should we head back?" 

"Yeah." 

They start walking down and Harry starts chuckling. 

"What are you laughing about?" Louis asks. 

He shrugs. "Race you down?" 

Louis then smirks, reaching over to smack Harry's balls before making a run for it. 

"Dickhead, unfair! Unfair!" He hears Harry shouting and he continues laughing, practically peeing himself as he runs. 


	35. XXXV

Louis is running but it's a long way down and he's out of breath. He turns to see Harry sprinting...sprinting down the fucking hill. He starts speeding up but he's probably going to pass out. 

Harry is right on his track and he tries to beat him because he's close to the end. But Harry is like a fucking cheetah or something. He passes Louis and he finally stops trying. He groans. 

Harry is at the end looking up to Louis. 

"Run Forest, run!" 

Louis flicks him off before going down slowly. Harry is breathing heavily too but Louis is basically dying. 

"What the hell are you?"

"You know, I had lots of practice trying to escape the cops and all when younger." Harry laughs. 

"Seriously?" 

"As much as I wish I was kidding, I'm not." 

Louis widens his eyes. "Wait, what?" 

"Damn. All this running and it's still not jogging my memory completely."

He stares at Harry who starts smirking at his pun. Louis shakes his head. "I hate you. So fucking much. Take me home. I can't even bare to look at you." 

Harry laughs hard as they walk over to their car. 

He continues staring at Harry as he drives. 

"You seriously have had to run from the cops?" 

Harry drives with one hand, pinching his bottom lip. Why does he always do that?

"You haven't?" 

"Um, no." 

"That surprises me, honestly."

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What's that supposed to mean?" 

Harry chuckles. "My friends and I used to stay out late. We used to go to territorial areas. We just wanted to have some fun, you know?" 

"No, I don't know, actually," he huffs. 

Harry's frowning. "I didn't mean it like that." 

"I never said you did." 

Harry bites his bottom lip. "What do you want to do now?" 

"I don't know." 

"Let's go somewhere nice to eat."

"Like where?" 

He shrugs. "I don't care. Let's just dress up. Let's go on a real date."

"I don't think so. I don't like dressing up," Louis mumbles. 

The last time he really dressed up was probably his High School graduation. No joke. He doesn't even know if he has a suit that fits him now. 

"Come on."

"I thought we weren't going to be one of those ugly couples," Louis teases. Harry huffs. 

"We can be for one night."

"Well, I don't think so." 

"Fine. What do you want to do?" 

"How about a bar?" 

"A bar? Really, Louis?" Harry is a little surprised. 

"Yeah. We can be an ugly couple there. Much better than a fancy dinner."

"I don't know, Lou." 

"You never get drunk. Let's live tonight. It'll be fun. Promise," Louis gives the cutest smile he can. It always seems to work on Harry. 

He sighs. "One night." 

"One night," Louis smiles agreeing. 

"The things you convince me to do." 

"I know. I'm just too adorable, you can't say no to me." 

Harry huffs. "I know." 

"Aw, Harry thinks I'm cute!" He goes to pinch Harry's cheeks. He smacks his hand away. 

"I'm driving. Don't distract me."

"Don't distract you, hm?" 

"Yeah."

"Is that a challenge, Harry Styles?" 

Harry quickly narrows his eyes at him. "Don't use my words against me."

"What if I were to do, I don't know, something like this?" 

Louis reaches down his jeans, grabbing at his cock. He just holds it, not doing much. The simplest things will definitely get at Harry's nerves. 

"What are you doing?" Harry asks with a little panic.

"Oh, sorry. I know, this isn't the right way."

He then grabs his jeans, pulling them down. "They are just too damn tight." 

Harry glares at him. "Stop. I'm driving." 

"What? Sorry, I can't hear you. I think my boxers might be distracted me from hearing you as well." 

"Louis! Stop!" Harry shouts as Louis goes to pull down his boxers. 

Louis is laughing but he stops when Harry pulls to the side of the fucking busy street. He stops it, cars honk at him as he does this. 

"Harry-"

"Get in the backseat."

"What are you--"

"You can't tease me like that, get in the fucking backseat." 

Louis sighs, crawling in the back with his boxers still almost off. 

Harry crawls like a fucking animal in the back. 

"Fucking bastard is what you are," he growls pulling Louis' boxers down and his cock goes flying up, hitting his stomach. He didn't even realize. 

There's another honk. 

"Harry, you couldn't have possibly pulled over in a worst spot."

"Your fault," he mumbles before he smacks his lips against Louis'. Louis sucks on his lips, a kink he learned Harry loves.

Harry's hands go on his cock and Louis moans into the kiss. Then Harry is wrapping his lips around Louis' cock. 

He jerks at the touch, Harry's lips are so warm along with his tongue. 

He bites his bottom lip, leaning back and squeezing his eyes shut. 

Harry's large hand wrapped around is making him twitch. He flicks his tongue and Louis goes to grab his hair. 

"Alright," he moans. 

Harry's lips release. "Pull my hair."

Harry has a weird hair pulling kink as well. But Louis is definitely not complaining. He does as Harry says, especially when his lips reconnect around his cock. 

People have to be seeing this as they drive by, but oh fucking well. 

His mouth is still doing work when police lights come from behind.

He snaps around to see it's for them. "Fuck, Harry." 

Harry's eyes wide as he leaps to the front. "Quick, cover your fucking dick! Put my jacket over it!" 

Louis is sweating as he hurries and takes off his large jacket. Harry goes to climb over quickly, his foot nailing Louis in the face.

"Fuck," he says grabbing at his nose.

"Sorry," Harry mutters with a small chuckle.

He hides his dick and the officer goes to Harry, who looks like a complete mess. His lips are a bit swelled as his hair looks like he was just completely fucked. 

"Why are you pulled over here?" 

"You see, my boyfriend wasn't feeling well. I just pulled over to see if he was doing alright. I wanted him to lay down in the back for a few minutes. I know it's a bad spot, I just was really worried." 

The officer looks at Louis and he grabs at his stomach, pretending to be in pain. 

"Move somewhere else," he says before walking away. 

Harry turns around to look at Louis with a wide smirk. 

"Get over here." 

Louis pulls up his boxers, crawling over. "I didn't even come. Worst blowjob I've ever gotten. By far." He teases.

He pulls up his jeans, struggling. 

"Hey, not my fault we were stopped a minute into it." 

"Not my fault you picked the dumbest spot to stop." 

"Shut it." 

He laughs as Harry pulls away. 

They arrive to the bar and Louis gets them shots right away. 

"You ready?" Louis asks and Harry sighs. 

"I guess. All for you."

They click their shots together. "All for Louis!" 

Harry laughs as he takes his first shot. The night has barely started, but Louis is already feeling the adrenaline. 

...

Louis is walking away to go to the bathroom but Harry pinches at his ass. He turns around. "Stop. I'll be right back."

"Lou," he pouts out his lips, "I can't survive a second without you." 

"I bet you twenty bucks you live." 

Harry makes a face before drinking some more. Louis smiles walking away. 

He pisses, basically whistling with the biggest smile on his face. He's having so much fun. It's weird having Harry drunk with him. But he fucking loves it. Harry is so fun drunk. 

He walks back to see Harry talking to a guy and he frowns. He walks over and Harry's smile is wide. 

"This is him!" He wraps his arm around Louis throwing him off as he pulls him close. He stumbles a little. 

The man laughs. "Nice to meet you. I'm an old friend of Harry's, I'm Kyle." 

Louis smiles shyly. "Louis." 

"I've been friends with Harry here since toddlers. Family friends, might I add." 

Harry laughs. "We were the worst."

"I knew we were going to run into each other one of these days. Colleges close and all." 

"Finally," Harry rubs Louis' arm. He feels really awkward. He always feels awkward in situations like this. 

"So, Louis, is Harry treating you well?" 

Louis nods, smiling a tiny bit. "Yeah." 

"Little Louis here almost got us in trouble before we got here," he smiles at him. Louis feels even more awkward so he slips from Harry's arm. He just chuckles nervously.

"What happened?" Kyle asks sitting down. Great. 

"Well--"

"Um, let's not talk about that," Louis interrupts, sitting down and drinking. 

"He's a little bastard," Harry says looking at Kyle shaking his head. 

Louis doesn't like being talked about. He feels really weird. 

"Boyfriends, what are you going to do with them?" 

Harry shrugs. 

Why'd he shrug? He starts getting nervous. He takes a deep breath, drinking some more. 

They don't even talk to Louis. Only about him. He's right there? Harry just tells him stories about him, and he fucking hates it. He sits there all nervous. He's scared Harry is realizing everything having to do with him is a mistake. That he doesn't want to be with him anymore. 

"He hated me," Harry says turning to look at him, "Isn't that right? You absolutely hated me!" 

"You hated me too," Louis mumbles. Maybe he still does. 

"We've been through a lot," Harry says. 

Maybe he's done. Maybe he doesn't want to go through anymore. 

He closes his eyes, fighting back the tears. He knows Harry is probably saying these memories in a positive way. He knows deep down that he is, really. But his dark thoughts are overpowering. His dad's voice is still in his head. That nothing having to do with Louis is ever good. So all he can think about is bad. And he hates that feeling. 

He hates that he still to this day feels like Harry is going to leave him. He can't help it. 

He blinks and a tear falls. He quickly wipes it away. Kyle starts talking about himself, thankfully. But Louis is still scared. 

They talk for a while. Kyle is drunk and happy. Harry is drunk and happy. Louis is drunk and sad. 

They try to get him in the conversation and he barely can. He doesn't want to say anything in front of Harry to like, embarrass him or something. Make him want to leave him. 

He knows Harry notices because the look in his eyes. 

"Got to use the bathroom," Kyle says and he hurries away. 

Then Harry turns his full attention to Louis. 

"What's up?" 

Louis bites his cheek. "What do you mean?" 

"Somethings wrong."

"N-Nothing's wrong. I'm having fun." 

He frowns. "Louis."

He has to be honest with him. He knows he has to. So he just says it. 

"I'm scared you are realizing every memory with me is a mistake." 

Harry blinks. "What?"

"I-I don't know. I feel like you talking about everything we've been through, that it's been so bad, that you just want to leave me or something." 

Harry laughs shaking his head. Louis frowns. He goes to stand but Harry quickly stops him. 

"I didn't say one bad thing about you, Lou. Why would you think that?" 

"I just... I just. I'm sorry," he makes a face. 

Harry's face completely frowns. "You still think I'm going to leave you?" 

"Yeah," he admits looking down at his hands. He hates admitting it because Harry just wants everything to be perfect between him. 

Harry huffs. He looks up to see Harry and he's mad. Why is he mad? 

"I have done nothing wrong. And you still think this. You realize how shit this makes me feel?" 

Louis stands up frowning. "I'm s-sorry, Harry." 

Harry's about to cry. He fucking hate that Harry cries so much. It makes him so upset. And he hates when he's the reason for it. 

"What's going on?" Kyle asks. 

Harry is shaking his head at Louis. 

He steps back. 

"I don't know what else to do, Louis. If you're still going to fucking think like this!" 

Why is he so mad? Louis is about to throw up. Or worst. Faint. 

"What'd he do?" Kyle asks mad. He goes towards Louis and his eyes wide. But Harry pushes him back. 

"Okay, we might be having a disagreement now, but don't ever fucking touch him," he snaps at him. 

Harry turns back to Louis. He grabs his hand. "Come on. It's too loud in here." 

He pulls Louis out of the bar. He sits down against the wall. Louis slowly follows his steps. 

"I'm sorry I'm yelling. When I get scared, I yell. I just... I hate that you think this. I don't want you to think this, because I feel like I'm doing something wrong," Harry admits softly. 

"Y-You aren't, Harry. You just have to realize...my dad's voice is in my head. You don't know half the things he's ever said to me. I have to think like this." 

He closes his eyes. 

 

_"You know no one is going to like you, wearing something like that," his dad huffs._

_Louis looks down at his suspenders. "Um, sorry."_

_"Don't apoligize to me. Just know no one is going to want to come near you."_

_"I'm sorry," he frowns._

_"Whatever, Louis. Is your friend still coming over here tonight?"_

_"Yeah. We have that project to work on."_

_He nods. "Good luck."_

_"Thanks, dad," he mumbles before walking out the door._

_School goes by then Cole comes over to work on their school project. His dad acts normal when Cole is around, and it's really weird._

_When Cole leaves though, he's back to himself._

_"You good friends with him, right?" He asks._

_"Y-Yeah."_

_"You think that," he says sitting down with his beer._

_"What?"_

_"He's not going to stick around you forever, you know that, right?"_

_"Well, I mean--"_

_"Louis, he's not going to want to be your friend forever. I'm just warning you."_

_He nods aggressively. "Okay, dad."_

_"He's going to leave you. Everyone always leaves, Louis."_

 

He did leave. Cole did leave him. His fault or not, he did leave. And it fucking hurts. 

"What do you mean?" Harry asks quietly. 

He sighs. "My dad told me everyone leaves. My only friend. He told me he was going to leave me. He did. So I mean...just now, it's scary."

Harry wraps his arm around Louis, pulling him close. "Me sorry." 

"Nothing you can do. You're not doing anything wrong, Harry. Just know that. And just... don't leave me. Then you're doing everything you could possibly be doing."

He feels Harry's lips against the top of his head. "I promise, Louis. I could never leave you." 

He squeezes his eyes shut. He grabs Harry's shirt with his fist, letting some tears fall. 

It's nice knowing he has someone this important in his life, staying. Staying for him. Treating him the way he always wanted to be treated. It's good feeling. 

He just really likes Harry. And he's thankful for him. 


	36. XXXVI

"Louis," Harry says trying to pull him off, "Come on now. No crying. We could be dancing in there, babes." 

He laughs, but turns his head into Harry's chest even more, if possible. 

"You shouldn't be crying. But if you want, I can give you something to cry about." 

Then Harry is tickling Louis' side. He yelps, pushing him off immediately while laughing slightly. He falls backwards onto his forearms. 

"You can't tickle me." 

"But I've heard you're very ticklish." 

He narrows his eyes. "I'm done crying. Let's go." 

Harry laughs. "No more." 

"Shut it. You just cried the other night when we watched Marley and Me." 

"How can you not cry? You're a monster, Louis." 

"It's not real." 

"It was still extremely sad," he insists as they walk back into the bar. 

"Oh, and Louis, sorry about Kyle. He is just really protective over me. He always has been. He'll hurt anyone who makes me upset, no matter who or what the situation is." 

"He was going to kill me," Louis mumbles, crossing his arms. 

"Do you really think I'd let anyone kill my boyfriend in front of me?" He asks and Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Come on," he mumbles taking Harry's hand and dragging him to dance. 

"We're drunk," Harry mutters with a goofy grin. 

"That we are," he has to smile back. Harry's smile is fucking contagious. 

They dance. And they look fucking dumb as hell. The things they do basically aren't even considered dancing. 

Harry sings along. And he sings loud. Louis just laughs because Harry is like a ball of sunshine. 

"You're crazy," Louis smiles and Harry just shrugs. 

Louis feels a hand on his ass and he jumps. He turns around to see a guy, probably a little younger than him smiling. 

"Excuse me?" Louis raises his eyebrows. 

"Sorry mate, my friends told me to do it. We're a little too drunk and you have a nice ass." 

Louis rolls his eyes and Harry is now standing in front of him. 

"Hey, _mate_ , why don't you move elsewhere?" Harry snaps. 

The kid ignores Harry, looking back at Louis. "What do you say we get a drink?" 

Louis just laughs because seriously? 

Harry, on the other hand, sure isn't laughing. 

"I'm warning you, back off," Harry says raising his eyebrows. 

"What are you going to do about it, long hair?" The kid laughs. 

Louis is beyond amused, to be honest. 

Especially when Harry goes and shoves the kid. He laughs. 

The kid is about to obviously swing back but Louis stops him. 

"Now, no need to fighting. Why don't you go back to your little friends and pretend none of this happened." 

The kid sighs, glaring at Harry before walking away. 

He turns back to Harry who is pissed. 

"Don't need to get too jealous, Harry." 

"It's not even that. I don't like that he fucking touched your ass. That's so disrespectful."

Louis guesses that's true. He just didn't think that's why Harry is so angry. 

"I'll live." 

He sighs, looking down giving a small smile. "At least I respect your ass." 

Louis laughs. "True."

"We're both drunk. Too drunk to drive home. What are we going to do?" He sighs again. 

"Sleep in your car until morning." 

"That will be extremely uncomfortable." 

"Not unless we go in the trunk. There's enough room for the both of us." 

He shrugs. "Not a bad idea, Tomlinson." 

"I'm only filled with good ideas." 

They dance a little more. Harry insists on getting some water before they go to his car. 

He opens the trunk and they crawl in. 

"Okay, this is not as comfy as you made it seem," Harry mumbles. 

Louis just crawls into him, Harry wrapping his arm. Louis always cuddles into Harry because he's so warm and he just loves being held by him. It's one of his weaknesses. Harry likes it too because he says Louis is so small, he's like cuddling a teddy bear. 

"That was an eventful night," Louis mutters.

"Yeah. Still could be," he can hear Harry's smirk through his voice.

"No. I'm still mad at you for hitting me in the balls today."

"But you hit me first. And then twice." 

"Still. Plus you gave me a shitty blowjob." 

"Stop saying that!" 

He chuckles, cuddling even more into him if possible. 

"Sorry love." 

"I'll give you the best blowjob of your life right now." 

"Nope."

"Louis."

"Harold." 

"Seriously?"

Louis chuckles. "We are going to wake up with the worst hangover ever. Go to sleep." 

"I can't. I'm not using someone as a comfortable pillow, I'm using the hard service," he mumbles. 

"I'm selfish, we've established that. You're just so comfy." 

"You're lucky I like you." 

He smiles. He kisses Harry's chest before actually trying to sleep. 

"Louis?" 

"He's sleeping." 

"No. Louis." 

He sighs, looking back up to Harry. He gives a little smile. He doesn't say anything. 

"Well speak?" 

He just smiles. "Nothing. Just wanted to see your adorable face," he teases, tapping Louis' nose.

Louis smacks Harry's stomach before cuddling back into his chest and trying to sleep. 

...

Louis wakes up the next morning to Harry tickling him. He got pissed. 

"What the hell," Louis snaps spinning away from Harry who is laughing. 

"That's my payback for calling my blowjob sucky," he laughs at his ugly pun. Louis just shakes his head. 

"Looks like I'm not talking to you. Take me home," he teasingly pouts. He crawls out the trunk and walks over to the passenger seat. Harry follows. 

"Oh, but my sweet Louis. You can't ignore me." 

"Watch me." 

"But it's Valentines Day." 

Louis' eyes widen. Fuck. Fuck. Harry's planning something and he has nothing planned. He's the worst boyfriend in the world. Harry is going to dump him he knows it. Fuck. He doesn't say anything and Harry laughs. 

"I see how it is." 

Now Louis is too scared to actually speak. He's going to mess everything up. 

"I got a text from Zayn. They are just going to yours to watch some films. Wanted to know if we would like to join. Niall will be there as well." 

Louis nods. Okay, maybe he isn't planning something. 

"I'm not too good with this shit, so how about I give you like a flower or something?" 

Louis sighs out a relief. He turns to Harry. "A flower?" 

He frowns. "Is there something wr--"

"No! God, no. I just didn't know if we were going full out and I didn't want to be like, a sucky boyfriend or something."

"Well, I mean you can sucky my--"

"Harry, shut the fuck up. I didn't even get you anything. So if you didn't get me anything yet, don't." 

"So you don't want to do anything?" He asks. 

Louis shakes his head. "No." 

Harry nods slowly. He drives in silence. Did he upset him? Fuck. 

"But if you want me to get you like, I don't know, chocolates in a box shaped like a heart I'll do that." 

He chuckles, glancing over at Louis. "I'm good." 

He nods, leaning his head back. "Maybe I can get you a helmet and some arm and knee pads." 

Harry full on laughs. "It would come in handy." 

"I know. Exactly why I should get you some." 

They arrive to Louis' place. "You can come in now. We can eat lunch. We do need something in our stomachs." 

"You mean I can make us lunch?" 

Louis just smiles, leaning to kiss Harry before climbing out the car. He follows. 

They get inside and Liam isn't home. 

"He's probably getting Zayn's present," Louis laughs, "He's always been a sucker for love." 

"Does he love Zayn?" Harry asks curiously, walking into the kitchen. Louis follows to sit on the table to watch Harry make something. 

"Yeah. Have you not heard them say it to each other?" 

"No." 

"How? They do constantly." 

"Guess I'm too infatuated with you," he gives a cheeky smile. Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Stop that." 

"No, I'm serious. I've never heard them say it." 

"Wow." 

Harry makes them tacos. Not really his first choice of something to have for lunch, but Harry insisted. 

"I'm waiting for my heart shaped box of chocolates," Harry mutters with a smile. 

Louis huffs. "And why do I have to be the one to get it? We can eat them together, that is, if you get them."

"You're the one who said it. Not me."

"Alright. Then where's my flower?"

"Right here," Harry smirks pointing to himself.

That makes Louis laugh. Fuck, he's adorable. 

"Stop. You're making me want to kiss you."

"Then do it?" 

He looks back at Harry who is sitting there, eyes closed, lips out. Jesus Christ this boy wants to kill Louis. 

Instead, Louis takes the rest of his taco, putting it on Harry's lips. He makes a face before leaning away. 

"Dick," he laughs, wiping his mouth. 

"What's that? I couldn't hear you? Did you say that I'm amazing? Because I totally agree." 

Harry rolls his eyes, ripping a piece of his taco before throwing it at him. Louis gasps.

"Now what's this? You trying to start a food fight with me?"

Harry's eyes go to the fridge. Louis' follow. Then they are both up sprinting to it. 

Louis reaches it first but Harry is right there, as they both struggle to open it.

"I was here first!" Louis shouts opening the fridge and shoving Harry out the way. 

"So what?" 

"I was also born first!" 

He hears Harry chuckle as he reaches in the fridge, grabbing some pudding. He quickly opens it, putting his hand in there and whipping it at Harry. 

It hits his chest and Harry quickly pushes him going in the fridge. Louis tries stopping him as he continues whipping pudding at his back, laughing. 

Harry turns around with a tomato, throwing it at Louis. He turns out the way, and quickly Harry is back into the fridge as Louis tries to squeeze his way in. 

Harry grabs the fucking leftover spaghetti and he dumps it on top of Louis' head. 

"Fucking bastard!" Louis shouts stepping back in shock. 

He shrugs. "I can play dirty too." 

He gives a scowl before getting into the freezer. Perfect. A cake. 

He doesn't know what this cake is from or for, but he fucking takes it. 

"Okay, okay, Harry. Stop," he sighs. He hears Harry laugh. 

"Sorry," he mutters closing the fridge. Louis takes this as his opportunity. 

He quickly brings out the cake and he smashes it to his face. 

Harry then stumbles back, slipping on the spaghetti on the ground. His feet run into Louis' legs and then he falls back as well. He lands pretty hard on his back and he groans. 

He pushes himself up to see Harry laughing completely on the ground. He crawls over to get a better look at his face. 

He takes his finger, wiping some of the frosting off and licking it. 

"You taste delicious," he smirks. 

Harry turns his head to look at him. And he starts bursting out laughing. 

"Hold on," Louis says quickly. He goes to the table to grab his phone. He then takes a picture of Harry who looks completely dead with cake on his face. He laughs, putting it back on the table. 

"Did the fall hurt?"

"Yeah. I broke my ass." 

"Do you need me to kiss it better?" 

Harry smirks, pushing himself up. "Would you like some cake?" 

"I would love some." 

They are both giggling as they kiss. Then Louis pushes himself up, holding his hands out for Harry who is still completely filled with cake on his face. 

The spaghetti Harry dumped on him is really on his hair only, some sauce on his face, but he's still completely messy, especially after falling into the rest of the cake on the ground. 

The door opens and their eyes widen. 

"We can't even hide," Louis groans. Harry laughs. 

"It's all your fault." 

"Okay, no, you started this?" 

"You made more of a mess than I originally did." 

"Listen here curly, I--"

"What the hell did you guys do?" 

They both look up to see Zayn and Liam. Liam looks completely shocked while Zayn is just shyly smiling. 

"Harry started it," Louis raises his hands up and Harry smacks his chest. 

"My cake...I made that cake for tonight, for all of us," Liam sighs.

"That was Louis' fault, not mine." 

"You guys, go take a shower or something. Zayn and I will clean this up."

"I'm not cleaning anything," Zayn laughs, "Good luck, Li."

He walks over to the living room.

"Sorry Liam, I really am," Harry says, "But I didn't ruin your cake."

"Shut up, Harry," Louis says walking over to Liam. He kisses his cheek quickly. "Love you!" 

He takes Harry's hand, hurrying them to the bathroom. 

"Let's take a shower. And one condition. We can't touch each other. But we shower at the same time."

"Louis, now that's a challenge I won't be able to do," Harry is pulling down his pants. 

"You have to," Louis pulls over his shirt. 

Harry is still cake faced. He sighs. "Fine."

They get into the shower, washing off. Louis is facing straight ahead, Harry behind him as they clean themselves. 

He hears Harry moan and he snaps around. 

Harry is fucking jacking off. His eyes widen. 

"Stop that." 

Harry bites his bottom lip, looking at Louis innocently. "What?"

Louis basically shivers, glancing down. "D-Don't do that." 

"Why? You said we couldn't touch each other. I'm not touching you." 

He narrows his eyes before quickly finishing his hair before jumping out of the shower. "Fuck you, Harry." 

He gets out of the shower, Harry still in there as he goes to change. He walks over by Liam to help him clean. Harry is still showering. 

"Why the hell would you do this?" Liam asks with the tiniest amused smile at his lips. 

"I don't know," he answers honestly. 

Liam stops cleaning a second to really look at Louis. 

"You're happy."

Louis blinks. "I am."

He just smiles, nodding before cleaning again. 

And Louis then smiles. He is happy. He's so fucking happy. 


	37. XXXVII

Louis finishes with Liam cleaning, then he strolls in the living room where Harry is already sitting next to Zayn. 

Louis sits on the smaller chair. Harry raises his eyebrows from the long couch and he just smirks. 

Harry sighs, getting up. "Scoot." 

He scoots over and Harry sits down. They are squished on the chair together, but it's okay. Louis likes it this way. 

Zayn stares at them. "It's still so weird." 

Harry wraps his arm around Louis. "I know."

Louis closes his eyes. He could just fall asleep. It's so nice with Harry. Everything about Harry is just so nice. 

There's a knock on the door and Niall comes bursting in. Louis groans as he jumps on top of them. 

"Harry, just because you're dating him doesn't mean you can hog him all of the time," Niall says ruffing up his hair. 

"I'll try not to." 

"Get off, Niall," Louis groans pushing at him. 

"You missed their food fight."

"Food fight? No way?" Niall says, "You didn't tell me about it?" 

"It wasn't planned," Louis mutters.

"Louis shoved Liam's cake in my face." 

"Not the cake," Niall says, "I was looking forward to eating that." 

"Maybe Louis and Harry should just make a new one then, since they ruined it," Zayn suggests with a small laugh.

"I'm okay with that," Harry says, he shakes Louis a little trying to get him to open his eyes, "Lou?"

"Isn't that a lot of work?" 

"You can just hand me the stuff?" 

Louis opens his eyes, groaning while rubbing them. He walks into the kitchen. Harry follows. 

"Showering makes me sleepy," Louis says. 

"I can tell," Harry chuckles. 

He starts getting out all the ingredients and Louis just leans on the counter, keeping eyes closed. 

Once Harry is all ready, he just tells Louis what to hand him. 

"That was extremely rude," Louis mutters handing him the eggs. 

"What was?" 

"What you pulled off in the shower." 

He smirks. "You're the one who said we weren't allowed to touch each other. Like I was going to not masturbate with you in the same area naked and wet with me?"

"Oh, shut up. I contained myself." 

"Well, I can't."

Louis watches Harry mix the cake. His arms are so huge. He wishes his arms could be that big. 

He starts thinking back to when they were crossing the street. How Harry watched the car coming right at him. He doesn't know what made him think of this. It still scares him. 

"Um, Harry?"

"Yes Lou?" 

"You know that one day where you just watched that car coming right at you. You never explained it to me. It still scares me," he admits out loud. 

Harry glances at him before back down at the cake. "It was the car George drove." 

He closes his eyes. That makes a lot of sense now. 

"Sorry. I just always wanted to know." 

Harry just smiles at him. "S'okay." 

"I think it's mixed enough," Louis says. 

Harry sighs. "I know. I just want to be extra safe." 

He looks up at his hair. "You still haven't cut it." 

"I know. I feel weird going to cut my hair now. It's been long for so long."

"Funny."

"But in all seriousness, it's true. I want to cut it I just don't know how it'll turn out." 

"I love your hair either way, honey." 

Harry huffs as he puts the batter into a pan. He places the cake in the oven, taking Louis' hand as they walk back over to the small couch. 

They are playing FIFA and Louis groans. 

"Hey, remember when I beat--" 

Louis smacks his hand down at Harry's balls. He groans, leaning back in the chair. 

"You beat Louis in FIFA?" Liam asks shocked. 

"No. He's lying. That dick injury he has right now is working up into his brain." 

Harry gives Louis a glare before looking at Liam. "I beat him, alright." 

Louis rolls his eyes and Liam starts laughing. 

"You said you were unbeatable!" 

"Shut up." 

"God, Harry, teach me. I have been trying to beat Louis for years." 

"I beat him in the first game, easy peasy." 

"Shut it, Harry."

"Or you'll hit me in the balls again?" 

Louis goes to do it but Harry's hand catches it. "No." 

He rolls his eyes before crossing his arms. 

"Wow, Harry, I didn't even know you were good at FIFA," Zayn says, "You suck so much in real life." 

"Stop, you're embarrassing me," Harry teases. 

"At least I'd beat you there," Louis says. 

Harry just smiles, kissing his cheek. He then stands up, walking over to sit on the ground next to Niall. 

Louis stays on the couch, watching Harry play. 

He's laughing and he looks completely stupid, really. But he looks so adorable at the same time. His dimples are a killer. 

He just watches Harry, smiling. Harry will glance over at Louis to send a quick smile himself. Louis loves that. 

He hasn't really thought about love between Harry and him. He thinks he could love Harry one day. It's just really hard to see Harry loving him. He knows Harry can't love him. That it's just a fun relationship now. 

A fun relationship while still in school, maybe. That when they are older, they can look back at their young years together, wherever they end up. 

Louis doesn't want to see a life without Harry. But it's hard to see a future with him. It absolutely breaks his heart. 

He sits there, admiring a boy he can probably give so much love one day. But he knows he can't. Harry doesn't deserve someone like Louis to love him. He deserves a guy who can always make him happy, love him like he deserves. 

Harry shouldn't have to deal with him. He feels bad. But if it's what he wants now, Louis will give it to him. 

And when he gets hurt in the future when Harry leaves him, at least he can look back and think about how amazing it was then. How happy Harry made Louis. 

"Don't you want to play, Lou?" Harry asks with a goofy grin. 

He shakes his head. "I can just watch you, I'm fine." 

He shrugs, continuing to play. 

He closes his eyes. He's happy now. It sucks it's all going to end one day. He doesn't want to think about that day. But it's so hard not to. 

Niall runs over sitting onto the small couch with Louis. He groans, scooting over. 

"I was so comfy," Louis sighs. 

"Yeah, yeah, if it was Harry you would have scooted over no complaints," he teases, ruffing up his hair now. 

"Go take out the cake. The oven beeped," Louis says. 

"Yes sir." 

Niall runs up, getting to the cake. 

"It better be good, Harold," Louis says pointing a finger.

"I'm amazing at baking, you know this already," he laughs running his hand through his damp hair. 

The rest of the night is fun. They all talk and play around. Harry's cake was very good. 

They all leave around midnight, Liam going with Zayn. Harry and Louis have the house to themselves. 

Louis crawls straight into bed. 

"I'm too tired, Harry," he mumbles as Harry crawls into bed. 

"Why you saying this?" He wraps his arm around Louis.

 "I don't want to do anything sexually right now."

Harry chuckles into his hair. "I wasn't going to mention that."

"Hm?" 

"Just wanted to cuddle." 

"Oh," Louis mumbles with a small smile, "Good." 

Harry rubs Louis' stomach gently. 

"I'm going to do something romantic for you tomorrow."

"No," Louis groans.

"Really, Louis. I'm going to. You're going to love it."

"I don't--"

"One night. Just one night is all I'm asking," Harry mumbles. 

Louis doesn't want to disappoint him. "Alright."

"Good. Goodnight, Lou boo." 

Louis rolls his eyes even though Harry can't see him. 

"Night."

...

He wakes up the next morning to Harry shaking him awake. He groans, throwing a pillow over his head. 

"You have all day to get ready. I'm going home. I'll pick you up around like, seven." 

He removes the pillow to sleepily look at Harry. 

"Just know I hate you."

Harry blows a kiss before leaving. 

He texts Liam telling him he needs to help him dress nice. 

He makes some tea, watching telly while waiting for Liam. 

"What do you need to dress nice for?" Liam asks smiling while walking in. 

"Harry insisted we need to do something romantic," he mutters. 

"Good. I'm glad, Lou," he's still smiling. 

"Can I borrow one of your ties?" 

"Of course. When are you going?" 

"Around seven." 

"Good."

He sits down, looking at Louis. "As much as you say you hate romantic stuff, I know deep down you're a sucker for it."

He rolls his eyes. "Don't tell me how I feel. Ever." 

Liam laughs, getting him into a headlock. 

Liam's tie looks ridiculous on him. He looks so dumb. He fucking hates Harry. 

It's right before seven when Harry is knocking on his door. He opens it to see him in one of his weird, but stunning suits. He can't help but smile. 

"Before you start yelling at me love, just know it's not going to be cheesy. I'm not like that either. There's not going to be fireworks, or a ballroom for us to dance."

Louis laughs, actually laughs as they walk. "I'm so glad." 

Harry and him get into his car. 

"You look so nice. I have never seen you in a tie." 

"Yeah, don't get used to it."

"Say thanks."

"Thanks," Louis mutters. 

Harry chuckles as he drives. 

They arrive to a dock. They are fucking doing something involving water. 

"Why'd you make me dress nice if we are doing something not on land?" Louis says. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "We are simply just going on a boat ride." 

He nods to himself. Alright. A boat ride isn't that bad he supposes. 

Harry grabs his hand walking. "My friend's dad is the tourist. He can just talk us, along with the other people, on the boat just for a small ride." 

"You seem to be friends with a lot of people," Louis mutters.

"Hush." 

They walk to the area where people are getting on the small, but large boat. They get on, Harry taking Louis' hand. He brings them towards the back. He wraps his arm around Louis.

"Still mad you made me dress up for this." 

"I'm so glad you did." 

Louis buries his head into his chest again. The boat starts going as the man starts talking. 

Louis watches as he cuddles with Harry. This is honestly a good date. Not too much work, not too romantic. Just relaxing. Harry never disappoints him. 

"What if I pushed you into the water?" Louis teases looking up into his eyes. 

"Then I would drown."

"No you wouldn't," he mutters.

"I don't know how to swim." 

"You're joking," Louis asks shocked. 

He shrugs. "I don't. Whenever I go swimming I stay where I can reach the ground. I just never learned," he chuckles. 

"I can teach you." 

"I'd love that," Harry kisses his nose. Louis wipes away the wetness. 

The rest of the boat ride is completely nice. Harry and him have small talk as they look around the area. Louis never pays attention to this area, really. But it's sure beautiful. 

They get off the boat and Harry insists they need to stop and eat. 

They get to a table, and Harry smiles at Louis. 

"I know you don't like too romantic, so I tried my best." 

"You did perfect," Louis smiles. 

"Did I?" 

He nods. "Sure did." 

"You're the best boyfriend ever, Lou boo."

"Okay, stop." 

"You just make me so happy. I could give you a million kisses." 

"Shut up." 

"My sweet, precious boobear. You are absolutely--"

"I'll stab you with my fork," Louis laughs shaking his head. Harry joins him. 

Louis adores Harry. He fucking adores him. His stupid jokes, his horribly funny personality. His long hair and beautiful clothes that he can always pull off way too easily. His green eyes that you stare into just make you fall for him more as he speaks. Everything he does is intriguing. 

Louis hates that Harry is like this. That he's so easy to fall for. 

They are driving back now, How to Save a Life playing on the radio. And all Louis can think about is he's absolutely crazy for Harry. 

He didn't want this to happen. He really didn't. But it's impossible not to fall for Harry. 

They get to his house, and Louis hurries out.

"Wait, wait, wait," Harry calls from the car, "Where you going so fast stinker?" 

He closes his eyes, peaking his head into the window. "Sorry." 

"See you tomorrow?" He asks with a small smile. 

"Yes. Of course," he says gently. Harry nods, waving and driving away. 

He hurries up the stairs. He gets into his room, storming into Liam's bed. He jumps on him waking him up. He gasps, obviously being scared. 

"Jesus Lou, what hap--"

"I love Harry," he blurts out, covering his face. 


	38. XXXVIII

Liam is basically half asleep when he speaks. "Wait, what?" 

Louis takes his hands off his face, looking at Liam. "I love Harry." 

Liam smiles widely, sitting up. "That's great, Louis."

What does he mean, it's great? It's not great. If anything, it's horrible. Nothing worst could have happened.

"No, Liam. It's not," Louis shakes his head.

"Oh? It's not?" 

"No. I can't love him. I just...If I love him...it's going to hurt more." 

Liam frowns. "Okay, Louis, I don't want to be the bad guy here, but really? You still think he's going to leave?" 

Is he fucking stupid? Of course he thinks he's going to leave. Because he is. There's no doubt. 

"Not only that. But he's not going to love me. Ever." 

He sighs, scooting up closer to Louis. He places his hand on his thigh. "Bud, that's not true. It's in your head, you know that. I can see the way Harry is about you. He definitely loves you." 

Louis laughs. "Stop. Stop. You're going to make me go insane." 

"Please, don't let this mess up what is going on between you guys. You love him. That's amazing. I'm so happy you finally found someone you can love."

"It's weird. Like, I love you as a friend, obviously. But for him...it's so different. It's terrifying. I'm fucking going crazy. I'm crazy for him. I've gone fucking crazy over someone who isn't even going to be thinking about me in a couple years from now, while I'm going to be sitting somewhere all alone still thinking about him!" 

Liam blinks and Louis just lets out a loud sigh. He rubs his back trying to calm him down. 

"Not true." 

"But it is. I don't want to love him. Why is he so fucking easy to love? I'm so mad at him. I'm fucking mad at him." 

Liam laughs. "It's okay to be mad at him for making you love him. I was mad at Zayn for making me love him." 

"Really?" 

"Kind of. But in a...lovey way. If that makes sense." 

"Yeah," Louis nods, "It does."

"Are you going to tell him?" 

"Are you insane?" Louis gives Liam a look. 

He widens his eyes. "Apparently."

"I won't tell him that. Ever. I can't. It's just going to weird him out." 

"Louis." 

"Stop. Let's go to sleep. We have school tomorrow. Which I'm going to fucking see Harry. I should hurt him." 

Liam just chuckles as Louis crawls under his arms. 

He tries to sleep but he can't. Harry's on his mind. Like always. But it's different. Because now he knows he's in love with him. 

...

Louis wakes up panicked. He hates this so much. 

He spends time in the mirror trying to adjust his hair. Nothing looks right. 

"Louis, you realize you loving him changes absolutely nothing?" 

"Shut the fuck up," he groans, taking one last look in the mirror before walking out. 

They walk over to the table, sitting down. Louis goes on his app with the cats. 

He feels a kiss on his cheek and he looks up to him. Fuck he might die. 

"Hey lovely," Harry smiles sitting down next to him. 

"H-Hi." 

"Still playing that cat game?"

Louis nods before looking down at his phone. 

"What's up?" 

Louis looks up again and he's frowning. He knows when Louis' acts all jittery.

"Nothing. My, just, my cat is sick." 

He laughs. "Your cat is sick?"

He nods again. 

"I didn't know they could get sick on that game." 

"Well, they can." 

"I have the same game, you know." 

Louis snaps his head up to look at him. "Shut up." 

"Why are you acting so strange?" 

Louis stands up, grabbing his books. "Why are _you_ acting so strange, tight pants?" 

Then he storms off. 

Okay. Maybe that wasn't the best way to handle things? 

Classes go by so slow. He feels like he's been in them for over a year. The day finally ends and he's walking down the hall when someone is quickly running up next to him. He looks up to fucking him. 

"Tight pants?" Harry asks putting his hands in his pockets.

Louis groans, running a hand over his face. 

"Whatever."

"Lou, seriously, what's wrong?" 

"Nothings wrong!" Louis shouts. Harry widens his eyes. 

"Okay..."

Louis stops walking, leaning his weight on his right leg. "It's...I just...I didn't get like...any sleep."

Maybe that's a good excuse?

"So you're a bit sleep deprived?" 

He nods.

"Alright. We can go take a nap if--"

"No," Louis snaps. Harry furrows his eyebrows. 

"What?" 

"I um. I have to call the girls. It's Phoebe's birthday." 

He's fucking going insane. Absolutely insane. 

"Aren't Phoebe and Daisy twins?" 

Fuck. He smacks himself in the head. "Yes. Yes, God damn it, I meant both of them." 

"You really need to sleep. Why didn't you sleep?" Harry asks stepping closer. 

"I wasn't tired. But now I am," he mutters. 

He's never acted like this. Wow. He guesses love really does drive people insane. 

"Um, I can call you later?" Harry acts gently. 

Louis nods. "Sure. Yeah." 

"Tell the girls I say happy birthday?" 

"God, yes," Louis groans storming away. He's annoyed with himself for acting like this. 

Also, Harry told his mum about him. But Louis hasn't mentioned anything to his mum. Maybe because they don't talk everyday like Harry and his do. 

So that's also a problem. The girls know nothing about him. 

Plus it's not even their birthday.

He gets by Liam's car, thankfully he's already there. He gets in. 

"I was a fucking mess." 

Liam laughs. "Seriously?" 

"I was acting like I was on some weird drug or something. Liam. I'm going insane."

"You keep saying that. I think I know." 

"Then help me." 

"Tell him you love--"

"I will crash this vehicle."

"Calm Louis," Liam laughs, "You'll feel better. Trust me. When I told Zayn I loved him, it all felt different. I don't want to sound cheesy, I know you had that, but a whole weight was lifted off my shoulder. I was happy. Especially when he said it back. I've never felt more alive." 

"I'll kill you right now." 

Liam laughs. "Okay, Louis. Do it." 

He groans, placing his hands on his face again. "I hate this." 

"But you don't hate Harry. You love--"

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Louis shouts, "I shouldn't have even told you." 

"You love me. Are you going insane over me?" 

"Shut up." 

They get home and Louis crawls on the couch. "Make us dinner." 

"Don't boss me around, Mr. in love with Styles."

He reaches over, smacking Liam in the balls. He groans, falling purposely on top of Louis. 

"Get off me," Louis groans, shoving him. 

"Stop hitting balls," Liam says ruffing up his hair before walking to the kitchen. 

"If you stop being annoying." 

He turns on Breaking Bad. It's going to be hard being around Harry. He can't help how he acts now. He just feels all nervous. 

He's never been like this about anyone. It sucks Harry, being the amazing man he is, has to deal with him. 

His phone buzzes and he opens it to see a text from Harry. 

_"Hope you're taking a nice nap."_

He rolls his eyes. Can he stop being annoying?

Okay. He's not annoying. He's adorable. He's just mad at him. 

He doesn't reply. He just waits for Liam to finish dinner. 

They eat in the living room watching some stupid movie Liam insisted. The night goes by slow and he gets another text from Harry. 

_"Hope you told the girls I wished them a happy birthday. I will probably like them better than you. Smooches."_

Smooches? Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Ever type 'smoochies'  again , I'll definitely kill u"

He throws his phone down and groans. It buzzes back almost right away. 

_"Guessing you didn't get that beauty sleep?"_

_"I'm trying to now. ur distracting me. duh"_

He thinks to add the duh so he doesn't seem too mean. He hopes. 

Buzz again. 

_"Okay Kranky Pants. Goodnight. x"_

The stupid x. Louis should go to his house now just to hit him. 

_"Night :)"_

He puts down his phone but it buzzes again. Can he leave him alone?

It's an emoji of that face sleeping. Louis hesitates, but he sends an emoji back of the cop. 

He puts his phone down, closing his eyes. 

Buzz. 

He aggressively grabs his phone. 

Harry sent an emoji of a cat. Louis chuckles, sending an emoji of the ghost. 

He doesn't put down his phone. He waits till Harry texts back. Which is pretty quick. 

A grandpa emoji. 

Louis sends back the grandma. 

Then Harry sends the emoji of the two guys with the little heart above them. 

He rolls his eyes. 

_"Distracting me."_

He smiles when Harry answers. 

_"Okay. I'm sorry. Goodnight sweets."_

He then doesn't reply. He just puts down his phone. 

He loves him so much. He can't hide from it. 

...

Louis decides not to act weird. Or at least, try not to. He can't act like this forever. 

He walks over to the table where Harry is already sitting. He smiles as soon as he sees Louis, bringing his face in and kissing his nose. 

Louis groans wiping at his nose.

"You know I hate that."

"That's what you get for being so kranky." 

He rolls his eyes. "Stop whining."

"You better now? Get some sleep?" He asks seriously. 

"If you don't count the time I spent texting you, yes. I got sleep." 

He smirks, laughing a little. "Good." 

Harry takes a deep breath. Louis doesn't have anything else to say. He's still nervous. He just sits down. He places his hand on Harry's thigh. 

"My mum wants to meet you in spring break." 

Louis' eyes widen. Um? No? Louis is not meeting her. No fucking way. No. 

"What?" He asks, voice a little too high. 

"Yeah. She wants to meet you. I mean, if you're not doing anything too important over your spring break. You can stop by for like, one night." 

He blinks. "Yeah, well, I think...I c-can't. My, the girls want to spend every um, second with me." 

Harry gives him a smile. A really fucking fake smile. 

"Every second?" 

Louis squeezes his eyes shut. He can't lie about this one. 

"I don't know, Harry. I'm not good at meeting people. Especially it being your mum." 

"My mum is the least judgmental person. If you make me happy, it doesn't matter who you are. She just wants to see you in person." 

Whenever Harry says he makes him happy, it's just so weird to him. 

"I'll have to see. We still have a few weeks left before break. Okay? At least I'll see?" 

Harry nods. "More than enough."

He sighs. He looks in Harry's eyes. He stares right back. 

He's going to melt or something. He loves him so much. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harry chuckles. 

Louis panics. "What? I'm just looking. You were staring at me." 

"Because you were staring at me." 

"No I wasn't. I was looking at that...tree behind you." 

Harry turns around to look behind. He then turns to Louis making a face. "But your eyes were on mine--"

"Why don't you go and try to climb that tree or something?" 

Harry makes another face. He's laughing. "What?" 

"I don't, we're learning about trees in Bio. I think you should climb..." What the fuck is he saying? He said this wasn't going to happen. "Nevermind. I have to go. Tests and all," he says walking backwards. 

His foot hits a rock and he stumbles back. His books go flying, landing on top of him. 

He hears Harry dying laughing. 

He pushes himself up and Harry is literally about to pee himself or something.

Louis quickly goes to pick up his books. 

"Louis wait," he says still laughing, walking over to him. He grabs his arms, right near his elbows, looking into his eyes, "You okay?" He says with a small chuckle.

"Me fine," he mumbles, "I'm leaving." 

He turns around walking fast. He still hears Harry chuckling. 

What a dick. 

He gets to his class. He can't focus on the lesson.

He is daydreaming. The sound of Harry's laughter fills his head. 


	39. XXXIX

Louis is walking to Liam's car when Harry grabs his arm right before he walks out the door. 

He groans turning to look at him. 

"Do you want to go climb a tree?" Harry asks with a chuckle. 

"Watch it, I'm short so my punches go low," Louis says looking down before looking back up. That just makes Harry laugh more. 

"Why are you acting like this? Seriously, Lou, I'm so curious."

What can he say now? He needs to think of a very convincing lie. 

He yawns, scratching at the back of his head. "Just so tired lately. Think it's because you're not sleeping with me." 

Harry raises his eyebrows. "Really?" 

"You betcha. I just miss you so much," Louis mocks. 

Okay. No. He's acting really weird. The look on Harry's face shows that completely too. 

"Okay?" Harry asks. 

Still not buying it. 

He sighs, closing his eyes. "I'm going insane," he says out loud to Harry this time.

"I've noticed." 

He looks back up. "Why don't you drive me home? We can eat together at my room. Make us your cute little sandwiches?"

Harry smiles. "Of course."

Louis makes a face as Harry starts walking. He shoots a text to Liam saying he's riding with Harry. 

They get into the car and Harry starts chuckling. 

"What's funny?" Louis asks. 

"You falling." 

He rolls his eyes. "Shut up." 

"That had to be the funniest thing I've ever seen." 

"You've fallen plenty of times." 

"But you were rambling about me going to climb a tree? And how you weren't looking at me? Then you just fell," Harry's laughing again, "Oh my God, I wish I got that on film."

"Me falling is funny to you? What if I got hurt?"

"Hey. You've given me a concussion. You have absolutely no room to talk." 

Louis sighs, nodding. "Alright."

Harry laughs again. He just doesn't stop.

"Harry," Louis says sternly. 

"The look on your face these past two days," Harry is laughing even harder, "I don't know what's going on but it's fucking hilarious!"

Louis doesn't even realize what he's doing. But he playfully reaches over to smack Harry's head. Which obviously was a mistake. 

Harry swerves a little, immediately stopping his laugh. He stops the car hard, making them both jerk forwards. 

Louis' eyes are wide as he looks at Harry, whose eyes are closed. He's breathing heavily like he's trying to calm down. 

Oh shit. Louis realizes what just happened. 

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I was just messing around." 

Harry is still trying to calm himself down and Louis feels awful. He should have known better. 

Harry bites his bottom lip. When he opens his eyes they are a bit wet. 

Fuck, he made him cry again. Louis feels horrible. He didn't mean to. He didn't even think about that. 

Harry doesn't say anything. He just continues driving. 

"I'm sorry," Louis mumbles, sinking down into his seat.

Harry just nods slowly. "S'okay." 

It's quiet. Louis messed up. He really did. No wonder Harry won't ever love him. All he does is mess up.

They get to Louis' room. 

"I understand if you don't want to hang out with me now," Louis says as he unbuckles. 

"Don't be crazy," Harry mutters. He gets out of the car. Louis feels a bit relieved. 

They walk up and Liam is home, watching telly. 

"Hey lads," he smiles. 

Louis walks over, sitting down next to him. 

He looks over at Harry who looks scared. He doesn't know what to do now. He can't take back what just happened. 

"I'm gonna make us sandwiches," Harry says quietly, walking into the kitchen. 

Louis groans, throwing his hands over his face. 

"Did you--"

"Don't fucking start Liam," he snaps, "Don't." 

Liam widens his eyes before flipping through more channels. 

Harry comes back soon with his cute little sandwiches, sitting on the small chair by himself. 

"So, Harry, I'm guessing you're the new FIFA master." 

He chuckles. "I guess I am." 

"Louis is so good at it, I'm shocked." 

"You're just really bad at it," Louis mutters.

"Don't need to be rude," Liam defends himself. 

"Oh, Louis isn't that good," Harry teases, kicking at Louis' feet playfully. 

Good. He's joking around. Maybe that means he isn't mad. 

"I'm good." 

"Not better than me," Harry sing songs eating his sandwich. 

"Remember what I said about my punches." 

Harry rolls his eyes. 

"I'll talk to you guys later. Heading to Zayn's." Liam kisses Louis on the forehead, waving to Harry before hurrying out. 

He lets his head fall back into the couch. 

He doesn't know if Harry is still upset or not. But he doesn't want him to be upset, especially if he caused it. He needs to think of something that could possibly make him feel better.

He turns to look at Harry who is staring at him. "I'll let you punch me in the balls."

Harry makes a face, chuckling a little. "What?" 

"I'm a dick. You can do it. I'm giving you the opportunity." 

"You're not a dick," Harry mutters, "You were just messing around. I know that. Don't get so upset about it, Lou." 

He sighs. He looks down at his hands. "Me feel bad." 

"Don't. It's just...when George and I were fighting. Right before he spun the car, I was trying to hold onto his arm. And he kept swinging at me to not touch him. I guess being in the car when you did that, it just freaked me out a bit. It's not your fault." 

Fuck. He completely messed up.

"I'm s-"

"Say sorry one more time, I will hit your balls."

Louis chuckles a little. Harry scoots over. "Come 'ere." 

He stands up, walking over to the small chair to cuddle Harry. 

 _I love you, sorry I'm shit_ he thinks to himself. 

Harry rubs his arm. "You're the best boyfriend."

Louis doesn't say anything. He doesn't know why he always tells him this. He's just lying. 

"I used to have a tree house," Louis says quietly after a while.

"Is that why you wanted me to climb the tree?" 

"Shut up. My dad made it for me before I was born." 

He nods. "You like it up there?" 

"Love it. You know that roof I go to here? My tree house back home, that's like my roof now." 

"Your getaway?" 

"Mm."

"I had one of those." 

"What did you possibly have a getaway for?" He asks curiously. 

He shrugs. "I didn't have the nicest friends growing up. I still don't. I would just...okay, this is going to sound completely dumb, but I used to go to this open field. I would just talk to God about everything, apologizing. I thought that was what needed to be done." 

Louis chuckles. "Sucking up to God, hm?" 

Harry smacks his arm lightly. "Stop it. You always make fun of me." 

"Teasing. You know I lo-like you." 

Fuck. Holy fuck. 

He screwed up. He screwed up. He screw--

"Then I lo-like you too," Harry says quietly.

He's mocking him. He's fucking mocking him. He might throw up. 

He quickly stands up, flattening out his shirt before looking at Harry who looks completely confused. 

"Yo-You should go. That was a good lunch. So, thanks. I have things to do. Like I need to shower. So you should hit the hay." 

He mentally smacks himself. Can Harry just dump him now to save him from all this embarrassment?

"Um, alright." Harry stands up. He kisses Louis' cheek. "See you tomorrow."

Louis nods. "Can't wait," he mutters more to himself. 

Then Harry walks out without saying another word. 

He throws himself on the couch. He's messing everything up more and more. Why did he have to fall in love with him so early? He wanted them to last at least a bit longer than this. 

"Stop," Louis says out loud to himself. 

He needs to stop thinking like this. He's trying. He's trying so hard to stop thinking like this, but he can't. The voices in his head are so fucking overpowering. 

He just wants to let Harry know he loves him. He wants to believe everything can be easy. 

That maybe they could be like Liam and Zayn. Open with their love for each other. A healthy relationship. 

He wishes he could trust Harry and Liam and Niall when they say he's here to stay. He won't leave him. 

Maybe he needs to talk to him again. But that would mean telling him that he loves him. And he can't do that. 

His phone buzzes and he opens up to see a text from Harry. 

_"Wish you didn't kick me out. I miss you already, sweets."_

He closes his eyes. He stands up, throwing his phone to the ground. He falls back onto the couch. And he just cries.


	40. XL

It's a bad night for Louis. He can't stop thinking about how he almost slipped. It was obviously he almost slipped. Harry mocked him. 

Louis needs to go somewhere. He can't go to the roof. Liam and Harry both know about it. 

He can just go to the place him and Harry hiked. He can call an uber to get him there. Yeah. That's what he'll do. No one is going to look there. 

Maybe he can sleep out there. No. He needs to just get away for a day. He needs to. 

He calls an uber, waiting for it. He gets his small backpack, filling it with beer. It comes and he gets in, shutting off his phone in case anyone tries to contact him. 

He just needs one night not to be bothered. 

He hikes up by himself once he's there. It's a long walk and it's really boring without Harry with him. He takes his time though. 

He reaches the top, taking off his backpack then laying on his back. He reaches over to get some beer. Then he squeezes his eyes shut.

He thinks when Cole left him, that was the worst moment of his life. Well, first when Cole told him they can't be friends anymore, then when he left a note saying he was moving. 

 

_Louis dad is screaming at him. He doesn't want Cole to come over but he insisted he had to. Which wasn't true. He really didn't have to. He just wanted him here because he doesn't act up around him as bad._

_There's a knock at the door and Louis hurries to go open it._

_"Cole," he smiles. But he looks upset. Completely upset. He frowns. "What's wrong?"_

_He bites his bottom lip. "Come out here."_

_He nods, closing the door behind him. He waits for Cole to speak._

_Cole paces, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to do this. You're my best friend."_

_Louis' heart is out of his chest. What is he saying?_

_"But Lou...my dad... he's homophobic. He doesn't want me seeing you anymore," he says quickly._

_He stares at Cole, He doesn't know what to say. So instead he gets mad._

_"No. Cole, no! You can't leave me! You... you are my best friend! My only best friend! You can't leave me, no."_

_Louis is panicked. He's going to start crying. He can't cry._

_Cole looks sad. "I'm sorry."_

_He turns to walk away. "Cole!"_

_"I can't," he shouts turning away, "I don't want to stop being your fucking friend! Do I have a choice? No."_

_Louis closes his eyes. He doesn't hear anything else. Cole's gone._

_He wipes away his tears, going back inside. He hurries into his room but his dad's voice stops him._

_"Heard a lot of yelling out there."_

_He stops walking and takes a deep breath turning around. "Yeah."_

_"How come?" He's smirking. He's fucking laughing at him."_

_He doesn't say anything. He turns around, going into his room._

_He cries. His dad was absolutely right. He's so mad about that._

_Cole was his only best friend. Now he has absolutely no one. No one to look out for him anymore._

_Months go by. It's hard seeing Cole at school. He won't even look at Louis. Louis doesn't have anyone. He has nobody to talk to. No one to run off with when he needs to get away._

_One night Louis is in his room doing homework. There's a knock on his door and his mum walks in._

_"Here's a note left for you, sweetie."_

_He stands up confused, grabbing the letter from her hand. He opens it._

**_Dear Lou,_ **

**_I hate that this happened. I really am. I miss you. I'm sorry my dad made me do this. I never wanted to stop being your friend. I hope everything is alright._ **

**_But the real reason I'm writing this is because I'm moving to Holmes Chapel. I won't be around at all. So, I just wanted to let you know._ **

**_You'll always be my best friend in my heart. I know that's cheesy (We hate cheesy) but it's true._ **

**_Cole_ **

_Louis bites his cheek. He can't even say goodbye to him. His only friend in his life is now completely leaving. Moving away. He can't even fucking say goodbye._

_His dad peeks his head into his room. He huffs at the sight of Louis crying. He quickly wipes his tears._

_"I read that note. Told you everybody leaves."_

 

He takes a deep breath. If he still had Cole in his life, he doesn't even know if he would have befriended Liam. He knows his life would be completely different. 

He would be so happy being with Cole, someone he's known since elementary school. Someone so close to him, who knows everything, was there for Louis through so much. 

He loves Liam, of course. He just wasn't apart of Louis' life at the worst.

He wonders then if he would have even went to this college. It was Liam's suggestion to go here. Then he would have never met Harry. 

And he definitely wouldn't want that. He needs Harry in his life too. 

For someone like Harry, he does understand Louis. Probably more than anybody. 

It's weird. He feels like he's known Harry for much longer than he really has. And that's special to him. 

He drinks some more until he feels less pain. 

That's one of the reasons he likes drinking so much. It takes off some of the pain for a little. The burning alcohol down his throat and in his stomach. It's nice. 

He takes a deep breath. He just stares down at the view below him. The nice little town they live in is very clear to eye. It's weird to think of things that has happened to him here. 

Hours pass and he wonders if he should have told Liam he was going to be out. It probably wasn't the smartest idea. 

Soon it's midnight. He usually would text Liam by now. He always texts Liam. He knows he worries about him, so he's going to be trying to reach him now. 

Liam always told him he won't go to sleep unless he hears from him. 

It's just because this one night Louis ran off and Liam couldn't find him. He just ran off to a bar to drink because it was his dad's birthday. Ever since Liam is always looking out for him. 

He decides he should turn on his phone to send him a quick text. 

He hears footsteps and he turns around to see Harry. He moves a little feeling panicked. 

Harry's frowning. He walks over, sitting down right next to him with a loud sigh. He crosses his legs, staring down at the view. 

He doesn't say anything and Louis knows he's upset. He doesn't know what to do. 

Louis looks down at his beer, tapping it with his hand. He closes his eyes. 

"I've been looking for you since seven." 

He doesn't say anything. He just drinks out from his fifth beer. 

"I went back to your place to see if you wanted to get frozen yogurt. Liam said he thought you were with me." 

Louis starts breathing a little heavier. He feels bad for not telling Liam. He just didn't want to be found or worried about for a little. 

"I went to the roof. You weren't there so I thought that was strange. I went to a few bars. Nothing. Then I started to get really worried, Lou. I don't know how I thought about here, but I did. So here I am. There you are," he sighs loudly. 

Louis doesn't say anything still. Just sits there silent. 

He feels Harry looking at him then. He doesn't want to look at him. He disappointed him. 

"Are you alright?" 

He nods slowly, still not saying anything. He can't. 

"Why are you out here?" He asks so gently it makes Louis want to cry again. 

He shrugs. 

"It's a nice place. Especially at night," Harry says, "A nice little escape from everything." 

He squeezes his eyes shut again. He hasn't looked at Harry yet either. 

"How drunk are you?" 

Louis shrugs again. 

"How long are you planning on staying here?" 

He shrugs again. 

"Let's see...want to play a game?" 

He then slowly turns to look at Harry. Why is he acting so calm? He doesn't know why, and he definitely doesn't understand. But it's...calming. 

"What kind of game?" He mumbles out quietly. 

Harry then smiles. "You seem to be wanting to stay out here all night, I'm guessing?" 

Louis nods slowly. He doesn't know when he was going to leave. 

"Alright. Then let's play rock paper scissors, one out of three. I win, you come home with me and sleep with me. If you win, you can do whatever you'd like. You can stay out here for days." 

He furrows his eyebrows. A little strange. But he'll go along with it. 

"Okay." 

Harry smiles, positioning himself. 

What does Louis do? Fuck. He's going to do paper. Everybody starts out with rock, right? 

"I'm counting down. Ready?"

He nods.

"One, two, three!"

He's confused as Harry does some weird thing with his finger, making sizzling noises. He looks up making a face. 

"Fire. Fire wins every time," Harry says loud with a smile. 

Louis stares at him before smacking his hand. "Shut up, cheater." 

"That's not cheating, Lou, that's called winning." 

He rolls his eyes, putting all his drank beers back into his backpack. He stands up since he lost. Harry smiles at him. 

"What's in there?" He asks, looking at Louis' backpack. 

"Beer," he mutters quietly. 

Harry nods slowly not saying anything. 

He walks down hugging himself. 

"You cold?" Harry asks. 

Louis shakes his head. "Too drunk to be cold." 

"Alright."

They get into the car and Harry starts driving immediately. They have classes tomorrow. Great. 

Harry reads his mind. He has to. 

"Do you want to skip classes tomorrow?" 

"No," he says immediately, "No." 

"It's late. And you're a wee bit drunk," Harry smiles. 

He shrugs. "Me fine." 

"Are you?" 

Louis nods slowly. He knows Harry knows that's not true. 

They get to his house and Harry places his hand on his back as they walk in. Louis doesn't say anything he just goes right to his bed. He crawls in closing his eyes. 

"Little Louis tired?" He hears Harry asking as he climbs in himself. 

"Shh," he mumbles. 

"Sorry. Goodnight Louis. I'm here," he says cuddling into him. 

He knows. He knows Harry is here. 

...

Louis wakes up with the worst hangover ever. He doesn't want to go to school. At all. 

"I don't want to go," he groans as Harry wakes him up. He barely remembers last night. He just knows he was sad and Harry showed up. 

"You said you wanted to." 

"Not anymore. I need more sleep," he groans throwing a pillow over his head. 

"Good. I do too," Harry mutters cuddling into him. 

He gets a few more hours of sleep before waking up. Harry is sleeping when he looks over at him. 

He looks so pretty sleeping. 

He doesn't want to be with Harry right now. But he can't not be. He doesn't know what to do. 

He waits for Harry to wake up. He feels creepy staring at him as he sleeps, but it's hard not to. 

Harry wakes up in about fifteen minutes, looking over at Louis. He smiles. 

"You good?" 

Louis nods. "I'm good." 

He smiles. "Do you want breakfast or something?" 

He shrugs. "Not hungry." 

"Alright. Do you need anything?" He asks reaching up to stroke Louis' cheek. He moves away from the touch quickly. 

"No." 

He nods. "Okay. What do you want to do?" 

Louis bites his bottom lip. "Can you take me home, maybe?" 

Harry looks a little surprised, but he just nods instead. "Of course."

They get out of bed and Louis feels a bit shy as they head to his car. 

The car ride is silent and he just feels bad. He doesn't want to be this trouble to Harry. 

They get to his room and he sends a shy smile towards Harry. 

"Thanks." 

"You okay? Call me if you need anything?" 

He blinks. He loves him so much. He wants to tell him. Just to get it out. 

He just nods instead, not saying anything as he goes up to his room. 

He takes a deep breath. He slides down the door. He's so sick of crying because he's scared. He's so sick of crying because he fucking loves Harry. 

It's Friday and there's another party tonight. It's at a weird food place, Niall is hosting for some reason. He doesn't know why. He doesn't want to go. But he knows he has to. 

When Liam gets home he hugs Louis. He explains how worried he was once he knew he wasn't with Harry. He just told him he needed a breather. He understood. 

They are going to the party now. He drives with Liam. It's a bit awkward because they get in a fight.

He drank again all day. Liam tried taking his beer away which just caused the big fight. 

 

_"Okay, usually I let this slide, Lou. But this is too much," Liam snaps going to take the beer away._

_Louis pulls it back. "I'm fine. I like drinking."_

_"It's not good for you!" Liam yells, "You need to settle it down! It's only three and you've had four beers!"  
_

_"Stop!" Louis shouts, "Leave me alone! I'm sorry I can't stop drinking! It just helps with things going on!"_

_"That's no excuse. I'm sick of this. I'm getting so sick and tired of this."_

_Louis stares at him. He then turns around, throwing the beer at a wall. Liam jumps as all the glass shatters._

_"There. I'm not drinking. Happy?" Louis asks. He sits down._

_What did he just do?_

_He throws his hands over his face. He fucked up again._

_Liam is then sitting down next to him, rubbing his back._

_"I'm sorry."_

_He shakes his head, looking at him. "No. You're right. I'm sorry."_

 

It's quiet as they arrive. Liam grabs his arm. 

"There's a roof here. You can go up there. It's quiet."

Louis smiles, sighing a relief. He needed that.

"Thanks Liam." 

He nods before letting him go. 

They walk in and Niall runs to give them a hug. Louis forces out a laugh. 

"Hey my favorite person," he says into Louis' ear. 

"I hate you for having this," Louis makes it sound like he's joking, but he's not. 

"It's a nice place!" 

"For your golfers," he mutters. 

"Hey. People from school are here." 

"Alright."

The door opens and Harry and Zayn walk in. He takes a deep breath. 

Harry walks over with a small smile. He leans in to kiss his cheek. 

"Hey sunshine." 

Louis smiles. "Hi." 

Harry blinks a little looking at him. "How're you?" 

He nods. "I'm okay. And you?" 

He smiles. "Amazing because I'm with you now." 

Louis really smiles then. He makes himself roll his eyes. "Stop that." 

Harry wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him into him. "We missed a fight at school today." 

"Who?" 

"Zayn," Harry laughs. 

"What?" 

He can't see Zayn getting into a fight. At all. 

He laughs. "Nothing serious. It was over his painting. A classmate stole it. He was about to choke him over a painting, apparently." 

Louis laughs a little. "I'd love to see that."

Harry widens his eyes. "Artists." 

"Niall's so stupid. I don't know why he had to have this. I've never even been here before," Louis sighs. 

"Hey. His golf buddies insisted. And I have. It's a nice place. The roof is really calming as well."

Louis nods. "Stupid golf. Who golfs?" 

"I do." 

He turns to Harry. "Really?" 

He laughs. "I used to. I'm not too bad." 

"But golf is so boring," he groans. 

"No it's not. Maybe football is boring." 

Louis rolls his eyes. "A complete lie."

"I don't think so," Harry laughs booping his nose. Louis swats away. 

The five of them talk all night. Louis tries to maintain his drinking. 

"Louis, remember when you and I were on that building and we dropped water balloons filled with piss on people?" 

Harry widens his eyes, smacking Louis' arm. "You did not!" 

Louis laughs quietly looking at Niall. "I couldn't forget."

"We were so drunk after the last day of school. It was right outside the bar." 

Harry laughs and Louis stays quietly, not laughing. He feels bad for doing that. 

Everyone is talking. Louis doesn't talk. It's because Liam and Zayn ten minutes ago just said they love each other. 

Louis is stressed. He can't stop thinking about Harry. 

He knows Harry notices. He places his hand on his thigh. 

He drinks some beer and he looks up to see Liam glaring at him. 

"That's enough," he says. 

Louis blinks. He's not going to start this in front of everyone. 

He just makes a face before drinking some more just to annoy him. He's not going to pull this shit now. 

Thankfully Harry's talking with Niall and Zayn. 

Liam shakes his head then Louis feels bad. Liam's been acting a bit strange. He's never acted like this towards Louis before.

"Harry," Liam says throwing Harry off to look up, "Why don't you take that beer away from your boyfriend?" 

Harry blinks, looking at Louis. 

He stares at Liam. He didn't. He fucking didn't tell Harry to do that. 

"What?" Harry asks confused. 

"Take that fucking beer away. He can't be drinking this much." 

Louis just stares at Liam. He can't believe this. 

"Liam, why would--"

"Just take the fucking beer away or I'll get up and do it myself! He's out of control!" Liam shouts. 

Louis shoves backwards out of his chair. He can't believe what Liam's doing. He's going to make Harry realize now that he's not worth it.

He turns around, hurrying up the stairs. He opens the door to the roof. There is no one up here, thankfully. He goes to the end, putting his hands on the rail. He's breathing heavily. He can't catch his breath. 

Now Harry is going to realize he doesn't want to be with an alcoholic like him. That their time is done. Liam pointed it out and now it's finally going to hit him. 

He hears the door open. Can anybody just leave him alone?

"Lou." 

He takes a deep breath. He needs to tell Harry. He needs to get him to leave him alone. He needs to let him know how he's still scared. How none of this is working out.

He snaps around. "Stop." 

Harry stops quickly. He's frowning. 

Louis shakes his head. "Stop. You can't keep coming after me. You can't care about me this much, it's just not possible." 

"Louis, I care," he steps closer. 

"No. I don't know why the fuck you're trying so hard with me, or whatever you're doing. I can't handle it anymore. I can't, Harry." 

"Louis--"

"I don't want you coming any closer!" Louis shouts, "Leave! Can't you see I want you to leave! I knew this would happen. I'm too attached. I'm way too fucking attached to you. You're going to realize soon now you don't want to be with an alcoholic like me. You and me. We don't add up. We can't be together, so please, Harry, for God's sake save me the misery and just stop fucking doing this!" 

He uses the word attached instead of saying how he loves him. 

Harry looks so sad and Louis doesn't understand why. 

"Stop standing there!" He shouts walking closer to Harry. He reaches him and he shoves him. "Go! I'm trying to help you! Just leave!" He shoves him again. 

Harry grabs his wrists to stop him. Louis whimpers a little. He looks mad. 

"I love you!" Harry shouts angrily and loud. 

Louis freezes. He feels his entire body freeze. He can't breathe. He can't fucking breathe. 

Harry's grip around his wrists loosen a little. He's staring down taking deep, subtle breaths. 

He blinks. He rips his wrists away from him. He's lying now. Harry is lying to him. 

Louis just gulps. Then he just sits down on the ground. He squeezes his eyes shut. 

No one can love him. Especially Harry. This can't be happening. He doesn't even know what to think or what to do.

Harry then sits down in front of him. He feels his eyes on him. 

Louis takes a deep breath. He can't see Harry. He can't talk to him about this now. Especially not being completely sober. 

"Please leave," he says weakly, "I'm begging you, Harry. Just leave. I need time to myself." 

He opens his eyes and Harry looks sad again. He just slowly nods.

"Alright," Harry says barely audible.

He stands up and leaves. 

And Louis just sits there, feeling completely empty. He doesn't know if it's in a good or a bad way. 

He doesn't know if it's bad because Harry is lying to him. That he just feels pity for Louis or something. 

Or if Harry actually loves him. And he's getting a huge weight lifted off his shoulder. That he's ready to start a new happy life with him. 

He doesn't know. And he hates it. 

 

 


	41. XLI

Louis sits there for a good ten minutes before Liam comes up.

Louis doesn't want to talk to him. Now. Not ever.

He knows he's too much to handle. And Liam shouldn't have to put up with him.

"Louis," he says walking to him.

He hasn't moved since Harry left. He can't move.

"Liam. I'm not going to live with you anymore." He said it. He finally said it.

"What?" He asks, "No, Louis, that's not an option."

"It's going to have to be. I can't do this. I can't disappoint you. I'm sorry."

"You aren't disappointing me. Look, Louis, I'm sorry I'm acting like this. I'm just scared... I don't want you to get hurt. It's not healthy."

"What does it matter to you anymore? I'm moving out now."

Louis stands up and Liam grabs his arm. "Louis--"

"Stop," he snaps ripping his arm away.

Liam stares at him like he doesn't know what to do. He's probably relived.

"Harry left. He looked upset. What happened?"

Louis just ignores him. He gets out his phone to get an uber. He walks downstairs and going out straight away, not looking at Niall and Zayn.

When the uber comes he goes home. And he gets a bag. He puts beer in it, some chips. Then he goes over to grab a pillow and a blanket.

He's just going to go to the roof. Maybe even break in the place if really needed.

He decides he's not going to school for a week as well. He needs time to himself. He can't bare to go to school, seeing Harry and Liam.

He is scared. He's scared what's going to happen now.

He opens the door and jumps when Niall is on the other side.

"Fuck," he sighs.

"What the hell happened? Want to talk to me?" Niall asks.

He can't tell Niall where he's going. He just throws everything to the side.

"I can't. You won't understand," Louis shakes his head.

"Talk to me? Maybe I can try? You're pushing everyone away, Louis."

Everyone. Now even Niall feels distant.

"That's what I want. It's easier now," Louis says.

"What's gotten into you? This is worst than ever before," Niall frowns.

He doesn't want to do this. At all.

He's in love. And it hurts.

"I'm sorry."

"Is it Harry still?"

He gives a half nod. Niall just sighs again.

"Can you stop overthinking everything? Maybe you should get some therapy help, that way you can stop thinking this way."

"Stop Niall," Louis snaps.

No way is he getting help. He doesn't want to ever. He just had a bad past, he has to deal with it now.

"It's the only way. Please, can we just--"

"Can you go? Please?" Louis asks weakly.

Niall rolls his eyes and then huffs. "Fine. If that's what you want, fine."

He storms off and Louis closes his eyes. Now Niall's mad at him too. He takes a deep breath, grabbing his bag.

He walks to the house. He turns the handle to the door. It takes a little effort, but it opens.

He walks in. It's really dirty. Some shit on the ground, dust everywhere. He throws his bag on the couch, looking around some more.

He's never gone inside. Just climbed onto the roof.

He takes a deep breath. He sits down on the couch.

He gets his phone, turning it on airplane mode so he won't get any messages. Then he puts in his headphones, listening to music.

Harry told him he loves him. He wants to believe it. He wants to believe him so badly.

Deep down he thinks he does. Louis really can believe that Harry might love him back.

But he feels bad. He's just such a mess.

He crawls into a ball. He doesn't want to think anymore. He falls asleep while How to Save a Life plays in his ears.

...

It's been a day. Louis feels so alone.

He wants Harry. He wants to tell him that he loves him back. He wants to be happy with him.

But apart of him is still saying he can't. That part of him is his dad.

He wishes he was stronger. He wishes maybe even he had Cole to speak with. Just to get some advice.

Louis drinks. But he can't eat. He doesn't have an appetite.

Another day passes by. He hasn't moved from the couch. Still hasn't ate. Just drinks.

It hurts so bad. He's never felt this pain. He thinks it's what's best for him.

He hasn't turned his phone off airplane mode either. He's worried about what the others are doing. He knows they have to be looking for him.

Tonight though, he knows for sure someone is out there. He hears someone climbing on the roof. He just hides.

Thankfully, no one looks in, whoever is up there. He hears them leave.

He closes his eyes. He's a terrible person. He drinks some more before sleeping.

Another day goes by. He drinks some more. But then he starts feeling his stomach burning.

It is killing him. He can't move. He's sweating and he knows he's going to puke.

He's surprised he hasn't yet. All the drinking and not eating.

He can't move so he just leans over on the couch, throwing up.

It burns coming up his throat, coughing hard to get the puke out. He opens his eyes and they widen.

Blood. He threw up blood.

He's fucked up. If he doesn't get help he's going to die for all he knows.

He's shaking so bad as he gets his phone turning it off airplane mode.

Millions of texts and voicemails come up but he can't look at them. He just calls the man he needs to.

There's an answer on the second ring.

"Louis, oh my God, where have you been? Are you alright?"

He's coughing again, he's basically gagging up blood.

"I messed up. Please," cough again, "Come to the roof. I'm-I'm in the house."

"In the house," Harry repeats out loud to himself, "I'm coming, what happened?"

Louis drops his phone as he pukes some more. He's crying now. He's terrified. He doesn't need this.

He hears Harry yelling his name through the phone but he has no effort to reach for it all. He can't. He's too weak.

He's breathing heavily. Why did he do this to himself? He wasn't even thinking.

Minutes go by and he just sits there in shock, trying to catch his breath.

He's getting weaker. He can't believe this happened. He's scared.

Soon the door is being opened and footsteps are running to him.

He hears Harry gasp. "Oh my God, Louis. No, no, no," he says quickly.

Harry reaches under him, pulling him up.

"Harry, stop! It hurts!" He shouts. He can't open his eyes.

"I'm getting you to the hospital."

"It hurts," he repeats again weakly.

That's the last thing he remembers.

...

Louis flutters his eyes open. He's in the hospital.

He turns to see Harry staring at him with wide eyes. He quickly stands up when they make eye contact.

He walks over to him, grabbing his hand.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

He furrows his eyebrows. "What happened?"

"Just too much alcohol. You're fine now."

He nods. He doesn't know what to say. He can't speak.

"We need to talk sometime," Harry says quietly rubbing his fingers on Louis' knuckles.

"I know," Louis nods.

"Not now. When you get out. But... You are going to need to get some rehab, you know."

"I know," he sighs.

It's what's best.

He stares at Harry. He knows he hasn't slept. He looks like he's been awake for months.

"I'm sorry," Louis says quietly.

"No talking," Harry gives a very small smile.

He nods. "Okay. Sorry."

Harry brings Louis' hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

He then goes to sit back down in his chair. He's falling asleep.

"Go to sleep," Louis says quietly staring at him.

Harry purposely widens his eyes. "No. I'm fine. I'm here with you."

"Harry," Louis says sternly, "Sleep."

Harry smiles a little. He brings his chair closer to Louis. He grabs his hand again. He then leans back, closing his eyes.

He's fast asleep.

Louis stares at him. He knows he can't hear him. "Thank you."

Louis goes through some more before being able to go home. He told Harry he doesn't want to see the others. It's too much.

They weren't happy about that at all, but they agreed.

The day Louis is released, Harry takes him to his house. Harry is guiding Louis to the couch. He insists he's fine, that Harry doesn't need to worry this much. He doesn't stop. 

They sit down and Harry's staring at Louis waiting for him to speak.

Harry loves him. He knows it because he said it. As much as he wants to deny it some more, he can't. He needs to stop acting like this. He knows.

Harry is a good person. Just because Louis can't believe him as he should, he knows he has to. Harry wouldn't say it just to say it. He needs to stop being complicated. He needs to stop thinking about his past. Because his dad has nothing to do with Harry.

He needs Harry to know he loves him. He can't be weak anymore. He can't keep doing this to himself.

If he keeps believing his dad from years ago, he's only getting weaker. But if he ignores it. If he stops thinking in that way, he'll become stronger. Harry's here. And Harry does make him stronger.

He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he says quickly, "I'm so sorry I'm like this, I'm so sorry you have to deal with me. I'm sorry for whatever reason you love me. But Harry...  I'm sorry this all happened it's just because I'm weak and I... I love you too. I love you."

He closes his eyes. He doesn't want to see Harry's face.

So he just feels Harry placing his lips on his. He slowly kisses back before opening his eyes. Harry is smiling at him.

"There's no reason for those dark thoughts anymore, okay? I'm here. I love you."

Louis nods. He's trying. 

"I'm sorry I blurted it out the other night. You just were so scared. I needed you to know," Harry continues.

"And I'm sorry I freaked out. Again. I'm pathetic, I know," he sighs, "It's just hard for me. All of this."

"You're not pathetic," Harry narrows his eyes, "I understand. But promise me Louis. No more, no more of those dark thoughts overpowering your actions. No more disappearing."

He needs to try for Harry. He does. And he wants it. A lifetime of unhappiness. 

When there's someone here capable of bringing so much happiness in his life, he needs to be able to realize it. 

"Yeah," Louis nods, "Anything. I'm sorry."

"And no more drinking like that," he frowns.

"I didn't mean for that to happen. I don't know what happened. I just felt like a bad person, I can't...I can't explain." 

He can't explain why he did that. Why he felt the reason to hide. Why he felt the reason to drink and not eat. 

Harry brings Louis into him, hugging him tightly. "I was so worried, Louis. I couldn't sleep. I didn't know where you were. Liam called me about how you said you didn't want to live with him anymore. I didn't know where the hell you went. And... I um, I called your mum." 

He pulls away from the hug. "What?"

"I'm not mad she didn't know about me. I just needed to know if you were there. I told her there was nothing to worry about."

"Harry," Louis groans, "You shouldn't have done that."

"Did I have a choice?" He asks. 

Louis shakes his head. "I guess not." 

He looks up at Harry. He can't believe any of this. It's all his fault. 

"I'm sorry I kept you up." 

Harry smiles softly. "It's alright." 

"How long did you not sleep for?" 

Harry shrugs. "Four days."

"Really?" Louis asks, "Four days without sleeping?" 

He nods. "I couldn't. Not knowing where you were. I was terrified." 

"Sorry," Louis mutters.

"Everything's okay. Alright? Can we eat? You haven't eaten something good in a bit. I'll make us some chicken, maybe?" Harry raises his eyebrows.

"Thank you," he nods.

Harry smiles. He reaches over, stroking Louis' cheek. "I love you." 

He sends a weak smile, taking a deep breath. "I love you too." 

Harry kisses Louis on the lips before standing up and going to the kitchen. 

He leans back into the couch. 

A childhood full of misery. It's time for Louis to be happy. 

He loves an amazing guy. And he loves him back. 


	42. XLII

Louis and Harry eat in silence while watching Grease. Harry insisted they should watch it. 

He feels bad for everything that happened. He didn't mean for it. He's just messed up.

"Do you have any videos of you playing Danny?" Harry asks. 

Louis laughs a little. "Yeah. My mum has them all back home." 

"Can I see them?" Harry smiles.

"Maybe. They are so embarrassing." 

"You probably looked adorable."

"Key word probably. I really didn't." 

"Shush. You always look adorable." 

"Mm?" Louis smirks at Harry.

"I'll admit." 

"Good. Glad you think I'm adorable." 

"You didn't like it when we first met," he chuckles, putting his plate down.

"Because you were a stranger. It was extremely offensive." 

"Being called cute?" 

"Well, yeah. That and short. It made me seem like...powerless." 

"Powerless? That's the last thing I would have thought about you as." 

"I had no idea who you were. It pissed me off." 

Harry smiles at him. "How tall are you?" 

"Five nine," he mutters.

He chuckles. "Your nose is growing." 

Louis gives him a dirty look. "I'm serious."

"Do we need to stand up and measure you right now?" 

"No. I don't lie."

"Yeah, okay." 

"What's it to you? You're taller than me anyways." 

"I wasn't--"

There's a knock on the door and Harry makes a little face.

"It might be Liam or someone," he says looking into Louis' eyes. 

"Not yet."

He nods before standing up to answer it. Louis continues watching the movie. 

Right now he only feels comfortable with Harry. He can't bare to talk to anyone else, just yet. 

Soon he hears Harry walking back. 

"Louis?" 

But it's not Harry. Or Liam. Or Niall. 

He turns his head fast. He just stares at him. 

There, standing right in front of him, is his best friend. 

Cole. 

He stands up quickly. Soon Harry and Liam follow behind Cole. 

"I searched everywhere for him, Lou. I thought you needed him," Liam says quickly.

Cole's hair is a tad bit lighter and longer. His face looks a little different but it's easy to tell it's him. His voice is way deeper too. He's much taller and very strong.

He blinks, staring at him in shock.

"Louis," Cole says again running over to him. He just hugs him. Louis is taken back at first. He's in shock. Cole is hugging him so tight. Then he finds himself wrapping his arms around him too. And he just starts crying.

"I'm sorry bub," Cole says rubbing his back, "I'm so sorry." 

That makes Louis cry more. He can't believe this. 

What did Liam go through to find him? Jesus Christ, he doesn't know what to do. 

They hug for what seems forever. It's weird. 

Louis opens his eyes and Harry is standing a bit further back, looking sad. He ignores it.

Cole pulls away. He is holding onto Louis' wrist when he turns around to glance at the others. He looks back to Louis. 

"Where would you like to go to talk?" 

It's so weird looking into his eyes. It's so weird talking to him. 

He takes a deep breath. "Anywhere. I don't care." 

He nods. He just continues holding Louis' wrist as he walks. 

Harry stands there with Liam. He looks a bit...distant, maybe. But Louis can't think about that right now. The closest guy in his life is back. 

"I'll see you later?" Harry asks quietly, hugging his arms to his chest. 

Louis just nods, sending a small smile before Cole and him walk out. 

"There's a park across the street. We can sit under a tree," Cole says. 

They walk in silence, reaching one of the trees, sitting down. 

Cole doesn't look at him. Louis can't stop staring. 

"My dad found out you were gay, and he was pissed. He thought...he thought if we hung out more, that like...I would turn gay. So he made me stop hanging out with you, or he was going to stop giving me money, and stop taking care of me. You know I only had him, so I was scared. I didn't want to. Ever. Everyday I saw you I wanted to cry. I felt like a horrible person, Lou."

See him? He never even looked his way. Unless he never saw him. 

"I used to check on you, you know. Yeah it's going to sound creepy. But I'd walk past your house, sometimes peak through your window. It hurt me more than I made it seem," he sighs, closing his eyes, "Then my dad met a girl who lived in Holmes Chapel. They dated. He loved her. So he wanted to move there to be with her. And that's what we did. I wanted to see you so fucking bad, but I was just too sad to do that. I thought about you everyday, Louis. I was so scared for you." 

Louis just forces a small nod. He knows what he's saying is true. 

"Liam told me your dad died. And I smiled. I fucking smiled, Louis. What kind of person smiles when someone dies? I just...after everything he did to you, I'm glad that man went to hell early." 

Then Louis laughs. He actually laughs. Cole joins him. And Louis finally looks Cole in the eyes as they laugh. 

Cole always had these pretty hazel eyes. He missed them. And his laugh. 

"How did he find you?" He asks quietly. 

Cole stares a little before answering. "I really don't know. He wouldn't say. He just told me about you," he then frowns, "And my entire life flashed." 

He rolls his eyes. "I'm fine now." 

"Are you really?" 

He shrugs, looking down at his hands. "I'm going to be. I'm going into rehab. Probably get some therapy help." 

"Liam didn't tell me why you are like this, though. Or should I say, why you were like that."

He gulps. "I liked the taste of alcohol. The way it feels going down your throat, in your stomach. And it lets you have fun. It can take away the dark thoughts as you just try to have fun. I always thought it's better to let alcohol take over you." 

"I never thought you would have gotten into drinking," he frowns. 

"Yeah. The first time I got completely drunk, by myself, was when my dad was in the hospital. I loved the feeling. I thought about you, you know. That we could have gotten drunk together. Or maybe you would have stopped me." 

Cole looks sad. "I'm sorry." 

"Not your fault." 

"I still wasn't there." 

"I know. And it absolutely sucked." 

He nods. "I'm here now. And I hate to say this, but you look awful. You have no color to your skin and you're way skinnier than I remember. And you're really short. You never grew." 

Louis chuckles a little. Cole was always honest no matter what he needed to say, good or bad. And Louis did lose a lot of weight considering what happened. He knows he doesn't look healthy.  

"I almost died." 

"Not funny," Cole huffs, leaning back. "What happened?" 

He shrugs. "I love him." 

He smiles. "Who? Liam?" 

Louis makes a face, "What the fuck, no? Gross, no." 

Cole laughs. "I'm joking. I'm guessing it's the guy you were just with?" 

He nods, smiling looking down to play with his hands. He got this habit from Harry. It makes things less awkward. He doesn't always like making eye contact with people as he talks. 

"Harry."

"You tried to die because you love someone? Aren't you supposed to be happy?" 

He turns to give him a quick dirty look. 

"Yeah. But ever since my dad I just overthink everything. I didn't think someone could love me. I was really convinced he was going to leave me, because my dad said that. You left me. And he said you were going to. So I guess then I thought since Harry was so important to me, that he was going to leave soon like you. But it was different, because my feelings grew for Harry so fucking quick. Then the next thing I knew I was in love with him. And I was fucking terrified." 

"Well, your dad is rotting in hell now. So those dark thoughts should join him." 

Louis laughs. "It's hard." 

"I know. But hey, I'm here now. And you love Harry and he loves you, I'm guessing?" 

He nods. "Yeah." 

"No one is leaving you. No matter what. You're the best person breathing, Louis Tomlinson. People kiss the ground you walk on. _They_ are scared you will leave _them_."

Louis laughs. "Shut up." 

"Harry's good to you?" 

"Too good." 

"Well, introduce me to my brother in law." 

He shakes his head. "You embarrass me."

"It's my job," he stands up, grabbing his hand to pull him up.

They walk back into Harry's house and Liam and Harry are sitting on the couch talking. 

They both snap their heads around. Then Cole brings them to the couch. He sits down right next to Harry. 

Louis stands there awkwardly, maybe just because Liam is there. Or the fact his best friend is now next to his boyfriend. 

"I learned that Louis here is absolutely in love with you so I just _had_ to speak with the man to give him these googly eyes. Maybe you'll have the same effect on me." 

Then Harry smiles. He smiles so wide that it makes Louis smile. He looks at Louis before looking back at Cole.

"I'm guessing you know who I am then? I don't have to say I'm Harry?" 

"I'm Cole," he smiles shaking his hand, "And I'm the best person you will ever meet." 

Louis looks at Liam who is staring at him. He's smiling. 

Louis feels bad for what happened recently between them. He was mean to him when all this time he was just trying to help. 

He smiles at him. He mouths, "Thank you." 

Liam nods, smiling. 

Louis then goes to sit down on the other side of Harry. 

Harry is smiling listening to Cole ramble on about something. He was always a very good talker. Very interesting to listen to.

"I took Louis on this double date once," Cole says, "With a girl. It was the funniest thing you could ever see. Imagine middle school Louis twitching at the sight of a girls tits out of her shirt." 

Harry laughs and Cole continues.

Louis smiles watching him talk. He missed him so fucking much.

His leg bumps into Harry's. Harry reacts by placing his hand onto Louis' thigh.

They all just listen to Cole talk. And it's so fucking nice.

Cole stands up eventually to go to the bathroom. Harry turns around fully to look at Louis.

"You have good people in your life," he smiles.

Louis nods. "I know... I have you." 

Harry tilts his head a little. He smiles widely as he leans in to give Louis a kiss. Louis smiles as well as he kisses him back. He's happy.


	43. XLIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue is next:)

"I have to go. I just came down because I heard you were sick, bub," Cole says with a little frown, "But we can hangout now, alright? Everything's better?" 

Louis smiles. "Yeah, of course. I can text you now." 

He smiles. "Glad to have you back." 

They hug for a while because they haven't been able to in the longest time. It's so nice. 

"Got to drive him back home," Liam says walking up. 

Louis smiles. "Thank you. For doing all of this. It means more to me than anything." 

Liam nods. "I'd do anything to make sure you're happy, you know that. You're my bud." 

Louis ruffles up his hair before he walks out. He turns around to see Harry cleaning up the room. He walks over to help him. 

"So that's your friend who moved to Holmes Chapel?" Harry asks. 

"Yeah. My only friend." 

"He's nice." 

"Yeah." 

"It's good for you I think to have him in your life now." 

"I've always needed him. We just couldn't be together and it sucked." 

Harry frowns. "Sorry." 

"At least I can contact him now. That's more than enough." 

He nods. "You can talk to me...you know? I know you don't know me as long as you've known him, but I'm still here." 

Louis smiles. "I know that, Harry. Just somethings can't always be discussed with you. He's been there when you haven't, in my life when I needed someone."

"If we lived near each other I would have been your friend," Harry mumbles.

He laughs. "No you wouldn't have. No one ever wanted to be friends with me. I was just the sad, quiet kid in class."

"I talked to everyone. Especially those who I thought wanted to be talked to," he says quietly. 

Louis watches him. "So you were that nice guy in school?" 

He shrugs. "I tried to be. I didn't like seeing people left out." 

"So is that how you know so many people now?" 

Harry nods slightly. They walk into the kitchen to put plates in the sink, and throw away other garbage. "I guess."

"What would you say to them? I never knew how to talk to people." 

"I would just ask them about themselves. Ask them how they are doing. Sometimes it was just nice seeing people smile because someone was actually talking to them." 

Louis huffs. "Where were you in my life?" 

"I wish I was apart of it," he sighs. 

Louis stands on his tip toes, kissing Harry's cheek. "You're literally my angel." 

Harry narrows his eyes. "You're my prince." 

"Oh, shut up. Not that. Just say, aw Louis that was so sweet or something." 

"Aw, Louis, that was so sweet or something." 

Louis rolls his eyes, chuckling as he swats at Harry. 

"You make the stupidest jokes."

"No I don't. They're the funny ones." 

"You think they are." 

"Then why do you laugh?" He raises up his eyebrows. 

Louis makes a face. "Because they're stupid!" 

"Either way, stupid or whatever, you laugh, I feel accomplished." 

He is rolling his eyes walking away when Harry runs behind him, swooping him up and running with him in his arms. 

"Put me down, totally unfair you have this advantage on me!" Louis shouts trying to get down. 

Harry brings them to the couch and he puts his mouth on Louis' neck, blowing into it. 

"Stop!" Louis shouts laughing. It feels extremely uncomfortable. Harry laughs as he pulls away. Louis is crushed under him. 

Harry giggles. "I want you to meet my mum. You would make her so happy. She needs happy."

"Why would I make her happy?"

"Because you make me happy."

Louis rolls his eyes, He lightly taps Harry's cheek, making him flinch. "Okay, big boy. Off."

"Spring break is next week. I can drive you to my house for a couple days, then drop you off at yours." 

Louis bites his bottom lip. He groans, putting his hands over his face.

"Did I say something wrong?" 

He uncovers looking back at Harry. "You can come meet my family too." 

Harry widens his eyes, smile coming upon his face. "Really? You don't have to--"

"I want you to. It's just weird for me. But yeah. I want you to meet them." 

"Of course," Harry smiles, leaning in to quickly peck Louis' nose.

"Stop, I fucking hate that," he wipes at his nose.

"But you love me." 

He narrows his eyes at Harry. "Shut up."

Harry laughs, snuggling into him. He might be crushing him, but he doesn't care. He loves Harry. And he loves this. 

...

"You are the worst fucking driver ever," Louis groans, "Just let me go pee!" 

"We'll be there in forty five minutes. Hold it."

"I don't think you want me to be crossing my legs trying to hold my pee in as I get introduced to your mother." 

"She wouldn't mind. She would think it's hilarious."

"You're mocking me." 

"Am I?" 

"Harry, please, we passed like plenty of gas stations and fast food places. Please." 

"Nope," Harry says popping the P.

"I will fucking kill you for this." 

Harry chuckles. "You have that water bottle you finished that was the reason you have to pee so badly." 

"What?" 

"Pee in there." 

"Are you fucking insane?" 

"We can't stop. We have to be on time. I'm a punctual person, Louis." 

Louis reaches to his water bottle. "You're going to be a dead person, soon." 

Harry laughs as he unzips his pants, uncapping the bottle as he tries to pee in it.

"Get any pee in my car, I'll kill you." 

Louis smirks. He quickly smacks his dick which is still peeing in Harry's direction. 

Harry gasps loud as the pee hits him. He widens his eyes staring at Louis who is laughing.

"Sorry. The ride is just a little bumpy and all. It's hard to pee in the car." 

"That wasn't funny!" Harry shouts staring at the pee on his leg.

Louis chuckles, bottling up the bottle and throwing it in the back. 

"There's pee on the chair and in the middle as well." 

"Louis!" He shouts again, mouth wide along with eyes. 

Louis is chuckling to himself. "Told you to stop." 

They stop at a red light and Harry reaches over, smacking at Louis' chest like crazy. 

"Hey!" Louis says, swinging his arms right back at Harry. 

"You fucking dick, I smell like pee!" 

He laughs. "It just looks like you peed yourself a tad bit." 

Harry glares at Louis. "I can't believe you. I actually can not believe you." 

He shrugs. "I'm sorry, honey. You need a fresh pair of clean clothes? I can even warm up socks for your little feet." 

He rolls his eyes. "I'm mad at you." 

"Oh, don't be mad at me, Harry. I love you. I love you so much. I might start crying right now if you don't love me back anymore." 

He then smiles, glancing over at Louis who is pretending to have a broken heart. 

"I love you. But you're still a pain in the ass."

Louis laughs and they continue driving. 

It's a bit longer till they reach Harry's house. And he's surprised. 

Considering how rich Harry is, there house isn't something too big. It's normal sized, a very cute home he would say. 

Soon the door is being opened and a very, very pretty and young lady is coming out, waving and smiling. 

"Is that your mum?" Louis whispered shocked as Harry goes to the trunk to grab some of their bags. 

He sighs looking down at the pee on his leg. "Yeah, of course." 

Louis turns back to stare at her. "She's hot," he finds himself saying. 

Harry smacks his arm and he jumps saying ow. Harry hides the pee with his bag. 

"Mum," he smiles kissing her cheek, "This here is Louis, of course." 

Louis walks up waving awkwardly. "Hello." 

He doesn't know what to call her. 

She smiles, walking over to him and giving him a big hug. 

Louis jokingly sticks out his tongue and Harry just glares at him. 

"You're just as lovely as Harry described," she smiles rubbing his arms. 

"Thank you," he laughs, "As you are." 

She smiles. "Charming. Come in. Feel at home." 

He nods and walks next to Harry. 

"You're gross," he mumbles.

"But your mum said you explained how lovely I was?" Louis smiles. 

Harry rolls his eyes, pushing him a little as they walk in. 

He looks around. There are so many pictures of young Harry with another girl, supposedly Gemma.

There's one of Harry sitting on the couch. His legs are up and his hands are on his cheeks, smiling widely. Louis awes out loud. 

"That is the cutest baby picture I've ever seen in my entire life." 

Harry just laughs. "I was a charmer." 

"Oh my God. I'm taking a picture," he says taking out his phone. He takes a picture of it, putting it back into his pocket, "Seriously, Harry. That might have brought tears to my eyes." 

Harry actually blushes and his mum walks back into the room. 

"I'm cooking dinner. Harry can show you around." 

He smiles. "Thank you..."

"Oh. Call me Anne, darling." 

She smiles at Louis before going back into the kitchen. 

He looks back at Harry. "You heard the lady. Show me around."

"I'll just show you my room," he mumbles. He takes Louis' hand, walking him to a very nice room. 

There's a pretty big bed, some random posters on the wall. There are lots of Polaroids of random pictures hung up as well. 

"Didn't know you were into pictures," Louis says as he eyes up a few cameras.

"I mean, yeah. I love photography." 

"Really?" Louis asks raising his eyebrows.

"I'd love to major in it." 

"And I've never heard of this because?" 

Harry laughs. "Don't know. I feel weird saying it." 

"It's interesting, Harry. These pictures are very pretty." 

"But not as pretty as the one I'm looking at." 

He turns to see Harry looking at him with that stupid smirk. He reaches over, smacking his chest. 

"You have taken enough pictures of me."

"And many more to come, love." 

He rolls his eyes, leaning up to kiss his cheek. 

They spend two nights at Harry's house. Anne is probably the nicest lady he's ever spoken too. She's so sincere about everything. She doesn't ask Louis any too personal questions, which Harry probably mentioned. That means a lot to him. 

They're driving to Louis' house now. And he's fucking terrified, even though he shouldn't be. 

His mum doesn't know about the incident. Louis said she couldn't know. He didn't want her to. 

"You're sweating like crazy," Harry laughs, "I don't have to--"

"I want you to, stop. I just get nervous. My mum isn't that likable." 

"It's okay. I like you, so."

The GPS gets them to his house and he is about to pass out. The girls come running out. They are extremely excited. 

He gets out with a deep breath as they run into his arms. 

"Hey ladies," he smiles.

"You're Harry," Phoebe smiles at him. 

He nods, bending down. "That I am. And which one are you? Phoebe or Daisy?" 

"Daisy," Phoebe chuckles thinking it's the funniest thing ever. Louis rolls his eyes. 

"I'm Phoebe," Daisy then says dying laughing. 

Harry smiles. "Nice to meet you. I'm Harry." 

"We know," Phoebe says.

"And you guys always know not to lie," Louis huffs going to grab their bags.

"We thought it'd be funny," Daisy laughs.

"They switched their names," Louis calls from the car.

"Already lying to me? I thought we were going to get a good relationship started," Harry pouts. 

They laugh going back into the house. "Come on, Harry!" 

"I'm going to wait for Lou, I'll be right there." 

He walks over to grab some bags with him. "They're way cuter than you." 

"Shut it, curly." 

They walk into the house and his mum immediately walks in.

"Hi," she smiles at Harry. 

He takes a deep breath, "Hi Mrs. Tomlinson." 

She reaches out her hand, shaking Harry's. Louis sighs to himself. She absolutely sucks compared to Anne. 

"Nice to meet you." 

"The pleasure is mine," Harry smiles, all dimples and eyes shining. 

"Louis has never brought anyone home, so sorry this is new to me. I cleaned up the house as much as I could. Sorry if it's messy." 

"It's fine. Thank you for allowing me to come and visit with Louis." 

She nods. "Anytime. The girls would die not meeting you, especially now knowing about you." 

He laughs, "Of course."

"Louis, can I speak with you in private?" 

"Yeah," he sighs, "Phoebe! Daisy! Take Harry with you somewhere." 

They run back to him, bringing him to wherever. He looks at his mum. 

"Are you alright? I was wondering why Harry called asking where you were?"

"I just fell asleep at the library. It was nothing bad," Louis insists. 

She frowns. "You look skinnier. Are you--"

"I've just been on a diet, mum. I'm serious." 

She nods. "Did you get a job?"

"No mum. I haven't." 

"Fine. He's a nice boy, from what it seems." 

"The nicest you'll ever meet. Don't ruin anything," Louis mutters walking past her and going to the girls. 

He walks into the living room and there's a puzzle that the girls have seemed to be working on. Harry is now working on it with them. 

"Help us with the puzzle, Lou," Harry smiles, looking at him. 

He nods, walking over and sitting next to Harry. 

"What is it supposed to be?" 

"Flowers," Daisy says.

"You're named after a flower," Harry smiles looking through pictures. 

"My names boring," Phoebe sighs. 

"No it doesn't. Phoebe means bright...the shining one." 

"So...like the sun?" She asks. 

"You can say that." 

She laughs looking at Daisy. "I'm the sun to your flower!" 

Louis stares at Harry who is smiling at the girls. "You get along quick."

"Don't I always?" He smiles. He's about to kiss Louis' cheek but he kind of stops himself, like he doesn't know if he's allowed to or not. Louis helps by leaning his cheek closer so Harry's lips touch it. 

Harry smiles at him before looking back at the puzzle. Louis then starts to help as the girls tease them about the kiss. 

...

The girls are absolutely dying laughing. Like, about to stop breathing. 

They are playing just dance. It's Harry and Daisy playing, Phoebe near them and Louis is sitting on the far couch watching. 

Harry is pretty hilarious during this game though. 

And the girls adore him. 

"Louis, join us!" He laughs continuing to dance. 

"Oh, I don't know." 

Harry stops playing and Daisy jumps because she wants to win. He reaches Louis, putting his head into him. He lifts Louis over his shoulders. 

Louis gasps. "Stop! You're going to drop me!" He shouts. 

Harry then puts him down. "Join me," he smiles. 

Louis rolls his eyes, watching the screen as he joins him. 

Daisy wins and they are out of breath by the end of the song. Harry sits down and Louis puts his head on his lap. 

Harry looks down at him. Louis smiles. "You're crazy."

"For you," Harry says leaning down and kissing his nose.

Louis laughs, bringing his head up to kiss Harry on the lips. 

And he's happy. He's so happy he feel like he can't breathe. He loves Harry. He loves him so much. 


	44. Epilogue

Mum is working so Harry made dinner for Louis and the girls. 

Louis said he's going to allow them to eat by the telly and they got extremely excited. 

They eat while watching Frozen since it's the girls favorite movie. 

Harry and Louis share their plate, eating together as they watch the movie as well. 

Phoebe turns to look at them. "Are you guys married?" She asks. 

Harry laughs. "Not quite." 

"But why do you have rings on your fingers?" She asks confused. 

Harry smiles. He then looks at Louis. "We weren't supposed to tell them."

Louis looks at him. He's such a fucking sneak. 

"You're right," he sighs, going along with it.

They are both turned around. They look shocked. "What?" 

"We are married," Harry sighs, "But it's a secret. You can't tell anyone. We haven't had the ceremony yet." 

They gasp. "Really?" 

"Yes," Harry says, grabbing Louis' hand, "We're completely, disgustingly in love."

Louis smiles watching him. He can't disagree.

"Whens the ceremony!" 

"Someday," Harry says, "Could be next week, in a couple months, or in a few years. But one day." 

The girls smile. "Can we be the flower girls?" 

"We wouldn't want it any other way," Harry insists. 

"Let's go dress up!" Daisy says. They run into their room, going to play dress up or whatever.

Louis turns to Harry. "Really?" 

"What?" 

"Married." 

He smiles. "Don't you want to be married one day?"

Louis then nods. "I do."

"So let's keep it that way, alright? I love you." 

He smiles. "I love you more." 

"Now, now. We don't want a relationship filled with lies, do we?" 

"I'm not lying."

"Obviously you are because I love you more?"

"Shut up," Louis mumbles kissing him on the lips. 

"I can't wait to marry you," Harry mumbles into the kiss. 

Louis pulls away to look him in the eyes. "At least buy me dinner first." 

Harry rolls his eyes. "I can already picture it. The best day of my entire life." 

"Mine too."

"Louis Styles? Harry Tomlinson?" 

"No name changing. Too weird." 

"Fine." 

"Children?" Louis asks.

"Lots of them."

"Good." 

"Our house will be a zoo." 

"It most definitely will be."

They are quiet a little before Harry starts chuckling.

"Our own personal zoo," Harry continues.

"No other way I imagine it," Louis says kissing at his neck. 

The girls come running in, grabbing Harry's hand to dress him up. He gives Louis a face before being dragged away, making him laugh. 

He's adorable. 

 

_**6 years later...** _

 

"What do you want me to do with it?" Louis asks.

"Don't call her an it, Louis." 

"I'm sorry," he laughs looking at the baby in his arms, "I'm not good with pressure." 

"Then ignore me."

"Why do you always have to fucking take pictures?" He groans. 

"It's my job." 

It's true. Harry is a photographer. 

It's been two years since they got married. 

Louis proposed to Harry on top of the hill where they used to hike. He tried to make it as romantic as he could. The wedding was held at a barn, something Harry thought was extremely old and cute. It _was_ the best night of their lives. 

Now, here he is, holding their first child, Sophia. They adopted her two months ago. She's about a year old. She's beautiful. 

Louis runs a blog. A very good blog. He helps people out a lot with personal problems. 

Niall is out there somewhere drinking and partying it up still while Zayn and Liam moved to America since Zayn is now a very big artist. 

Louis and Harry live right in Holmes Chapel. He can visit Cole whenever he'd like, since he only lives forty minutes away which is nice. 

Life is better than it has ever been. They are both happy. It's an amazing feeling. 

Louis loves Harry more than he ever knew was possible. You know about love. The way you feel about someone. But once you experience it with someone so real, it's life changing. Harry is life changing. 

So here they are now, in their living room. Louis is holding Sophia as Harry takes pictures. 

"Soon there will be three other kids surrounding you," Harry smiles putting down the camera, walking over to Louis and sitting down. 

"Yeah," he smiles looking at Harry. 

Harry leans in, kissing Louis on the lips. They are interrupted when Sophia puts her hand on Harry's cheek, pushing him away. 

Harry gives her a shocked look as Louis chuckles. She cuddles into him.

"She loves me most," Louis laughs. 

Harry pouts. "Not true, because I do." 

They stare into each others eyes, smiling. 

Louis walks over, putting Sophia in her crib. He walks back over to Harry who is now sitting on the couch. Louis sits down next to him. 

He leans over, going close to Louis' face. "Hey." 

He smiles, looking down at his lips. "What are you doing?" 

Harry smirks, bringing his close even closer to his. "Fuck me," he blurts out.

Louis laughs and Harry does too. They laugh and can't stop. Louis then falls on top of Harry, smacking at his chest before falling on top of him.

 

The end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has been such an interesting story to write!! it being my first fanfic on here as well :) i'm going to be writing way more, so be sure to look out for those! thank you for reading and be sure to tell your friends about this fic if you loved it as much as i did!


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